Four or Five
by Link and Luigi
Summary: Everyone undergoes outrageous tests to prove they're worthy of attending a very prestigeous tennis camp.
1. Call Us What We Are!

Four or Five

Chapter I- "Call Us What We Are!"

The first forty-five people to sign up would get to go on an all expense paid trip to the finest tennis camp in all the land. It was impossible to pass up the opportunity, so naturally there was a mad rush for the sheet only seconds after it was announced. And, merely seconds after that, the sheet was filled with the names of only the forty-five most fortunate tennis players ever to have lived.

Well, that's what they thought anyway. None of them knew the true horror that would befall them.

Ryuuzaki, Sakaki, Banji and Ojii (several of the coaches of various teams, in case you didn't know) were all sitting around drinking tea (since they're best friends, in case you didn't know that either) and wondering what they were going to do with their horrible situation.

"I feel horrible for mishearing the guidelines," sighed Ojii. "If I had known that he said 'four or five' and not 'forty-five' then I most certainly would not have allowed forty-five people to sign up!"

"But now we have a serious problem," Ryuuzaki pointed out. "We have forty-five tennis players who believe they are going to an all expense paid tennis camp."

"Can't we just tell them we made a mistake?" Banji pondered.

"No!" Sakaki said immediately. "If we admit to making a mistake then we'll never live it down! Just think of the consequences! Besides, how are we supposed to choose five people who get to go out of the entire list of forty-five?"

"I suppose we could just have them all vote for who most deserves it," Ryuuzaki shrugged.

"No, that won't work," Sakaki said. "Because then they'd all know that we messed up."

"Sakaki has a point," Ojii said. "We're the coaches. We shouldn't mess up."

"So what do we do?" Banji asked.

"Well…" Ryuuzaki started. "I was GOING to suggest it before, but I thought you would all think I was crazy. To tell the truth, I've been wanting to do this anyway just for kicks but I didn't think you guys would go for it."

"What?" the males asked.

"Making a competition," Ryuuzaki said.

"A tennis competition?" they chimed.

"No, not a tennis competition!" Ryuuzaki snapped. "That would give an unfair advantage to those who are better at tennis!"

"Obviously," said Sakaki.

"But the point of a tennis camp is for the weaker players to get better while the better players are perfecting their skills," Ryuuzaki pointed out. "It would be pointless to just send the five best players when there are others who would benefit from it more."

"All right, all right, what's your idea then?" Banji said.

"Listen up, everyone, I only want to have to say this once…" Ryuuzaki said as she leaned in and started whispering.

The males nodded their heads and said, "Uh-huh…"

Occasionally they drew back and looked shocked, but the idea was so addictive like Jenga that they had just keep listening. It continued like this for quite a while until Sakaki suddenly jumped up on a chair and exclaimed, "BRILLIANT!"

"So it's good then?" Ryuuzaki inferred.

"Of course!" said Sakaki. "Not only will we eventually decide who deserves to go to the tennis camp through utterly pointless means, but we will also be entertained for a few days at our players' expense!"

"Could it get any better?" Ojii said.

"Probably not," Banji admitted.

A few days later, all the players who had been put on the infamous list of forty-five were summoned to meet at the tennis courts. They had all assumed they would be playing tennis so they brought their gear, but were surprised to discover that tennis was actually not on the agenda.

"So about that tennis camp…" Ryuuzaki started, and everyone immediately groaned because they had known it was too good to be true. "Now, now! There's no need for that!"

"What's the problem?" Atobe demanded. His name happened to be the first on the list because he had connections.

"We weren't being entirely truthful when we said all forty-five of you would be attending the tennis camp," Ryuuzaki lied. "The truth is… only five of you will be able to go."

"Then why did you have all of us sign up?" demanded an angry mob of adolescence.

"Now, now," said Sakaki. "We're trying to find the five people who are most worthy of going on this trip, so you will have to prove yourself."

There was more annoyed groaning.

"We haven't even told you what you had to do," Ojii remarked. "At least wait for us to tell you what you have to do."

They decided to give their coaches the benefit of the doubt and allow them to at least explain the horribleness that would occur in their near future. The coaches looked at each other and elected Sakaki as the best one to explain what was going to happen.

"We have split you into eight groups of five…" began Sakaki.

But he was unable to continue because everyone had dropped to their knees, shaking their fists at the heavens while exclaiming, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"AT LEAST LISTEN TO US!" Sakaki shouted over their wails.

After everyone settled down and stood back up, Sakaki adjusted his collar and continued.

"Be sure to get accustomed to sharing time with the people in your group because if your group wins then those are the people you will be going to the tennis camp with," Sakaki said. "And you will also be competing alongside those people."

"Essentially, the better you guys get along, the more likely you are to win," Banji said helpfully.

The group half-heartedly agreed as Banji gestured for Sakaki to go on.

"Each team, after establishing team leader, will receive a task for the day," Sakaki said. "The task will test your abilities both within and outside of tennis so it's important you all take it seriously and combine your strengths."

"How many of these tasks are we going to have to do?" came Momo's voice from the large mob.

"All the smaller tasks lead up to one giant task at the end," Sakaki said. "You will receive a penalty that will inhibit you from completing the final task depending on how well you perform in the small task. The more small tasks you win, the better you're likely to do in the large task, so take every moment seriously."

There was uncomfortable shifting from the group. No one wanted to be apart of this adventure.

"Also, we have already assigned the groups," Ryuuzaki said. "So if someone drops out, then everyone else in the group will be forced to drop out as well."

"Basically, unless you want to make four enemies, we recommend you stay and compete," Ojii said.

The group became even more uncomfortable after that.

"Each team will have a team color," said Sakaki as he whipped out a clipboard and stepped aside to reveal a large box of colored shirts. "We got a t-shirt for everyone that you must wear when attending the tasks and challenges. However, if you have another shirt or outfit that is the same color, feel free to wear that one as well."

"Care to inform them what their groups are?" Banji suggested.

"I was getting to that," Sakaki said with a smile. "We put a lot of thought into these group assignments so take them to heart."

Ryuuzaki fished five blue shirts out of the box.

"Team One: The Captains," Sakaki read from the clipboard, and everyone gasped as they looked around for the captains that were present. He opened his mouth to speak, but then he stopped and looked like he was about to start chuckling.

"What?" said Ryuuzaki, looking over his shoulder to see what was so very amusing.

"It's nothing," said Sakaki. "I just noticed that four out of five of the captain's names start with K, and it was just initially funny to me."

All the captains whose names start with K slapped their foreheads.

"So anyway," Sakaki went on. "Team One: The Captains! Aoi from Rokkaku, Atobe from Hyoutei, Tachibana from Fudomine, Tezuka from Seigaku and Yukimura from Rikkai Dai."

"Hey…he's right," said Eiji, looking amused.

"Selecting a team captain for THIS team will be quite arduous," Tachibana commented under his breath as he took a blue shirt.

"Can I be team captain, guys?" Kentarou asked. "It'll be great. Cause… I'm a 1st year and you guys are the complete opposite of that."

The other four just stared at him. Then they glared at anyone who was on Rokkaku for daring to elect him as their captain and indirectly forcing them to spend time with him.

"This is ALREADY going so well!" said Ojii even though it obviously wasn't true.

"Next up…" Sakaki said as Ryuuzaki took out five yellow shirts. "Team Two: Doubles. This team is composed of people who generally play doubles."

"WE FIGURED," said all the impatient people who just wanted to get all this craziness over with.

"Itsuki from Rokkau, Kikumaru from Seigaku, Kisarazu from St. Rudolph, and Mukahi and Ootori from Hyoutei," said Sakaki.

After the initial shock of not being placed on the same team as their regular double's partner, everyone in the named group came up to get their yellow shirts.

"I don't understand…" said Eiji. "Oishi plays doubles just as much as me! Why isn't he on the doubles team with me?"

"Well, obviously they only took one of each pair…" Gakuto said as he reached out for Oshitari as if he was a million miles away. Which he was…in Gakuto's heart. If only he were closer…in Gakuto's heart. But I don't mean metaphorical distance but literal distance because Oshitari seems a lot more far away from Gakuto than he actually is because Gakuto wants Oshitari to be CLOSER!!

Whoa…that made no sense.

ANYWAY, then Itsuki said, "Why am I in this group?"

"Because you play doubles?" Atsushi suggested. "Just a wild guess."

"So yeah…" Sakaki cleared his throat as he caught Choutarou trying to fight back his tears as he took and yellow shirt when Shishido wasn't. "The next group. They will be in orange. Team Three: The Hard Workers. Obviously, these are the people who are not necessarily the best, but definitely work the hardest."

"OH MY GOD WE DON'T NEED AN EXPLANATION!" screamed everyone.

"SO," Sakaki raised his voice in response. "We have Inui and Kaidou from Seigaku, Shishido from Hyoutei, and Yuuta and Mizuki from St. Rudolph."

"MIZUKI?" Fuji exclaimed. "HARD WORKING?"

Yuuta looked a little distressed with not only being stuck with Mizuki, but also at the thought of his elder brother's future actions regarding this fact.

"Yes, of course," said Mizuki as he slipped Sakaki some cash when no one was looking.

"I don't remember deciding on Mizuki," Ryuuzaki admitted.

"Well, that's what we decided on!" Sakaki announced.

"Whatever, let's just do this so we can get on with our lives!" Shishido announced as he took an orange shirt and winced at its brightness.

"I expect our team to win, don't you?" Inui said to Kaidou simply because neither of them had said anything.

"Yeah," said Kaidou for the very same reason.

"Next up!" said Sakaki. "We have the team that will be in RED! Team Four: The Tall Team!"

Sakaki was about to follow up with an explanation as to who would compose that particular team, but he realized that would just be a waste of air.

"This team consists of," Sakaki looked back to his clipboard. "Kabaji from Hyoutei, Kawamura from Seigaku, Yanagi and Sanada from Rikkai Dai, and Kurobane from Rokkaku."

"The premise of this team is dumb," said Bane because no one else said it first. But then he looked at his team and realized that none of them would have probably said it. Then it made him even sadder because he didn't want to be stuck with a dumb team founded on a dumb premise.

"At least I like the color red," said Taka optimistically.

"Excuse me, but Inui is actually taller than I am," said Renji to the coaches.

"But Inui is already on a team," Ojii pointed out.

Renji just stood there. "And so is Ootori," he said.

"Again, he is already on a team as well," Ojii said.

"Why am I always with people who are so much shorter than I am?" Choutarou looked around at his teammates. No one wanted to tell him that it comes with being freakishly tall at the age of thirteen because they didn't want him to start crying since he was pretty much on the verge of tears already.

"I feel bad for whatever team ends up wearing pink…" Sanada observed the pink shirts in the box.

"Ironically enough, Team Five will always wear pink," Sakaki said. "They are… The Freshmen."

Everyone could see Ryoma's expression slightly change from that of "stoic smugness" to that of "slightly less stoic but still entirely smug."

"This team will consist of Echizen, Horio, Katou and Mizuno from Seigaku, and Dan from Yamabuki," Sakaki read.

"Why are those guys even here?" came whispers among the crowd. "How did they even get on the list?"

"All right, this is going to be the best team ever!" exclaimed Katsuo.

"Yes, we will show our freshman pride!" exclaimed Horio.

It's a good thing Ryoma wanted to go to this tennis camp so badly or else he probably would have shot himself right then and there.

Everyone enjoyed a good chuckle at the newly dubbed Worst Team Forevermore. Which of course is too much to have to write every time so they will now be referred to as… the WTF team! YAY!

The people that were remaining kept scanning the group, trying to figure out what attributes they shared with which people. The people already in groups started to take bets.

"What about people with outrageous colored hair?" Shishido suggested to Yuuta since they happened to be standing next to each other.

"Exactly who draws the line between something outrageous and something not outrageous?" said Mizuki since he believes he is entitled to every conversation that Yuuta is apart of.

"TEAM SIX!" Sakaki raised his voice. "Even though there are many second years among you, we have decided on five who will just represent the entire '2nd Year' group. This team will always wear purple! And they are… Ibu and Kamio from Fudomine, Amane from Rokkaku, and Momoshiro from Seigaku."

The five had mixed feelings about their assignments, but more or less took their feminine purple shirts without complaints. David didn't even have a ridiculous pun! But don't worry. They will come. Someday.

Because the 2nd Years were so well behaved, Sakaki was able to move on right away to the next group: "Team Seven: 3rd Years! Like the group before you, except you're in you're third year instead of your second."

Some people felt like strangling him, but they refrained. The only question was which people would be in the group out of the third years that remained.

"Akutagawa from Hyoutei, Kisarazu and Saeki from Rokkaku, Yanagisawa from St. Rudolph, and Oishi from Seigaku will all be wearing green and representing the third years!" said Sakaki.

As they stepped forward to receive their shirts, everyone looked back to see who remained; Fuji, Oshitari, Marui, Kirihara and Sengoku. Everything quickly became apparent to them what the requirements for this particular group were.

"And finally…er… Team Eight: The Leftover People!" announced Sakaki.

"WHAT?" demanded the so called 'leftovers'. "Call us what we are!"

"Fine, fine…" said Sakaki. "We were hoping no one would notice."

"I know you were trying to throw everyone off by including Kirihara here…" Fuji said.

"How dare you!" said Kirihara. "I belong more in this group than you do!"

Everyone gave him a look that said, "You are stupid."

"Okay fine, I deserved that look," Kirihara punished himself. "Well, I belong more in this group than Sengoku!"

"I do TOO belong in this group!" argued Sengoku. "If anyone doesn't belong, it's Marui! YOU'RE self proclaimed!"

"That's not true!" said Marui. "I belong! If one person should be kicked out, it should be…"

Then he paused and looked at Oshitari and Fuji who were both standing there in all their glory. He turned his attention back to Sengoku. "YOU!"

"Enough, enough!" said Sakaki. "This team will wear black."

"You still haven't referred to us by our PROPER names," said Oshitari. He knew that everyone was already fully aware with what their actual name was, but he just wanted to hear Sakaki say it.

Sakaki sighed. "Fine…" he said. "Team Eight: The Geniuses."

Almost as if they had rehearsed it, all five of them struck a pose that suggested they were either saying or thinking: OH YEAH.

There were some tears among the other people who wished they were apart of such a prestigious group, but they could do nothing about it as they watched the Geniuses take their black shirts.

"All right!" said Ryuuzaki. "Now that's over and done with! The first thing on our agenda is picking out the team captain for each group! This team captain will remain consistent throughout all the competitions so we're going to ensure that the proper person is elected!"

"And how is said person going to be elected?" said Tezuka since his group was by far the most concerned with this little part of the games.

"We're glad you asked," said Banji. "It will take some time, so you should all get comfortable. When your group is not being tested, please wait outside the courts. The first group we need is Team One: The Captains. So don your blue jerseys and join us on the tennis courts."

All the other teams retreated to the other side of the fence and watched in silent wonder as their much admired captains bravely took what was coming to them.


	2. What Does That Even Mean?

Chapter II- "What Does That Even Mean?"

The four coaches and the five captains stood in the middle of the tennis court waiting for someone else to say something first. Of course, this quite perturbed the Captain Team because the coaches were forcing them to wait for their instructions, so of course they would not be able to be the first to speak.

"SO ANYWAY," said Sakaki since he had obviously just recently caught on to the awkwardness of the situation. "As captains, your jobs are to inspire those around you even in the worst of time. Atobe, out of everyone who is not on your team right now, who would you consider the easiest to inspire?"

Atobe looked a little taken aback at the sudden directness towards him. "Well…" he pondered. "Anyone who is on my team. The entirety of Hyoutei, of course."

"Tezuka?" Ryuuzaki led.

"Seigaku, naturally," Tezuka answered.

"And likewise with the three of you, are we correct?" Banji said. "You all consider your own teammates the easiest to inspire because you are _their _captain."

"Where is this going?" Tachibana asked.

"Tachibana!" said Ojii. "Thank you for volunteering to go first!"

"If it's a contest over who can inspire their teammates the best and the fastest, then no problem!" said Tachibana as he looked over at the group of people behind the fence. When all those who were on Fudomine saw Tachibana look over, the melted with inspiration and joy.

The other captains frowned at this gesture because they had the feeling that Tachibana was probably going to win.

"Well, Tachibana is right," said Sakaki. "The challenge is to inspire the fastest and most efficiently. HOWEVER!"

They waited.

"The other four captains are going to have the opportunity to pick the individual whom you must inspire!" Sakaki said.

EVERYONE gasped, but especially Tachibana.

"So Atobe, Tezuka, Yukimura, Kentarou…" said Ryuuzaki. "Talk amongst yourself to establish the one Tachibana will be inspiring!"

The other four captains rubbed their hands together diabolically and turned into a huddle. Tachibana fretted pathetically until they all turned around again.

"We have decided," said Atobe. "That Tachibana must inspire an individual from my team…SHISHIDO!"

Atobe spun around and pointed dramatically at Shishido, but it just so happen that Shishido had been tying his shoe at the time so he didn't even notice that he was being pointed at until Choutarou tapped on his shoulder and he looked up. The coaches gestured for him to come over and he did.

"Shishido, did you hear the explanation?" Banji asked.

"You guys are talking kind of quietly, we can't really hear anything over there," Shishido admitted.

"Good!" said Banji.

"This is going to be bad," said Tachibana, slapping his forehead.

So the process continued until every Captain had someone they had to inspire. The group chose Ryoma for Atobe; those reasons were obvious. Next they dubbed it necessary for Kentarou to inspire Kaidou, because they knew for a fact that Kaidou would NEVER allow himself to be inspired by those younger than him, especially by someone who had annoyed him so very much. Mizuki was given to Tezuka, because Mizuki's just an ass and wasn't one to get inspired easily. Yukimura received Oshitari simply because Oshitari generally didn't need inspiration (unless it was Gakuto) so therefore there was nothing Yukimura would be able to do.

They sat all the inspirees down in chairs and the inspirers stood in front of them. The coaches stood among them so they could hear first hand who got inspired the fastest.

"Ready…set…inspire!" exclaimed Ryuuzaki.

Tezuka looked down at Mizuki who was just sitting there innocently.

"Don't let your guard down," he said.

"What?" Mizuki said in confused response.

"Don't let your guard down," Tezuka repeated.

"…Okay…" said Mizuki.

Tezuka looked at Ryuuzaki who was standing near him.

"Are you kidding?" said Ryuuzaki. "He's not inspired!"

Tezuka sighed and looked back at Mizuki. "Don't let your guard down," he said again.

Every time Kentarou attempted to approach Kaidou and inspire him with some words of wisdom, Kaidou would only send a glare his way that rivaled that of Fuji's. So, in response, Kentarou would run away and hide behind a tree. And you know he had to run far because it's not like there are trees just sitting in the middle of tennis courts cause that would just be tedious.

Atobe didn't bother with attempting to inspire Ryoma. He left Ryoma sitting there like a fool child and went off to get something fat free and delicious. He knew that even if he didn't win the competition, he would still be able to force his opinions on everyone since Atobe's just that way.

Tachibana was, at first, hesitant, but then he decided to get all gung ho about it. After all, he had nothing to lose other than a bit of dignity when he got shot down by Shishido. He wasn't used to being shot down after attempting to inspire people.

"Shishido, I know you'll do well in whatever challenge YOU'RE forced to participate in!" said Tachibana.

Shishido's eye twitched and looked around for something to throw at Tachibana.

"And you must be so proud of yourself because you got put on the Hard Working Team!" Tachibana went on. "That is a great honor! You should take pride in that accomplishment!"

"The only reason I was put on that team was because YOU!" Shishido yelled.

"Oh," said Tachibana. "Well…then… in a way… wouldn't you say…?"

He looked at the coaches.

"Wouldn't you say that I inspired Shishido to work hard?" he suggested.

"Past inspirations don't count!" said Ojii.

"And how dare you try to put a positive spin on my suffering!" Shishido said. "I loath you even more now!"

Meanwhile, Yukimura was looking down the line at all of the captains attempting to inspire people, with the exception for Atobe who was no longer there.

Yukimura turned back to Oshitari who was more concerned with something under his fingernails than being inspired.

Yukimura didn't say anything. He just stood there and looked at Oshitari.

Oshitari suddenly stopped and looked up with his eyes.

Slowly, he raised his head and met eyes with Yukimura.

Yukimura just stood there smiling and looking happy.

Oshitari felt something strange come over him.

Yukimura still didn't move.

Oshitari gave a heavy, contented sigh.

"Aha!" said Sakaki as he ran over and pointed at Oshitari and Yukimura.

All the other coaches ran over, and the captains looked over disappointed.

"Oshitari?" said Ryuuzaki.

"I don't know," Oshitari admitted. "But…I suddenly feel…" Oshitari searched for the right word.

"Inspired?" Yukimura suggested.

"Yeah, that one," Oshitari agreed.

"ANYONE could inspire him!" said Kentarou as he marched over. "I demand a rematch in which we all switch our people and _I _get to inspire Oshitari!"

"Psht," said Oshitari as he stood up and walked away, giving Kentarou the hand.

"It's official!" said Banji. "Yukimura is the winner."

"How thrilling!" Yukimura commented.

Tezuka looked back at Mizuki who was standing up. "You let your guard down," he said.

"What does that even mean?" Mizuki raised an eyebrow.

"So the captain of Team Captains is Yukimura!" announced Sakaki as he wrote it down on his clipboard just as Atobe returned.

"What?" he demanded. "Injustices!"

"Atobe, you didn't even bother to compete, so don't even complain," Sakaki warned. "And by the way, I am quite disappointed."

"How am I supposed to inspire HIM?" Atobe said, pointing at Ryoma. "He is uninspirable."

"Well—" Ryoma started, but he happened to catch a glimpse of Yukimura's smiling face and that just caused him to almost burst with sunshine, joy and inspiration so he had to run away before anyone could catch him with a unique emotion.

"The next team we need is Team Doubles!" called Ojii to the group of young tennis players. The yellow glob among the mass separated itself, revealing the individuals to be Choutarou, Eiji, Itsuki, Gakuto and Atsushi.

-----

**LMAO. Well, as you kind reviewers managed to point out, WE CAN'T DO MATH! LMAO AGAIN. Well, I guess they changed the times tables up on us because, as it turns out, 8 x 5 is 40 and not 45. Um...yeah, we have no excuse. Just our stupidity. SO OH WELL.**

**However, because of our wonderful intelligence, we have figured out an awesome way to fix it that will come into play LATER... **

**In addition, I guess we also forgot to mention someone who is on the Second Year Team. For the record, the Second Year Team is composed of David, Shinji, Kamio, Momo and _Hiyoshi_. HIYOSHI! That's so funny that we forgot about Hiyoshi because of our recent personal jab at Hiyoshi in the form of a oneshot. Oh that is just dandy, isn't it?**

**If you've lost respect for us because of our mistakes, then we're sorry. : (**

**Yeah so...just wait for the 45 thing. And Hiyoshi is on the Second Years Team. Oh well.**


	3. Did I Win Something?

Chapter III- "Did I Win Something?"

"Now, Team Doubles," said Sakaki. "I want you to answer truthfully. What is the most meaningful thing you and your doubles partner share? You go first, Gakuto."

"I'd say… the ability to read each other's mind," Gakuto said. "You know, we know what's coming next! We can tell what the other is thinking! That's really important!"

"The rest of you?" said Ryuuzaki.

"I think he pretty much covered it," Eiji nodded. "Except the mind reading Oishi and I share is WAY more meaningful than his."

"You want to say that again?" demanded Gakuto angrily.

"Now, now," said Banji. "We know you all get quite emotional when it comes to your doubles partners so we'll make sure this is as humane and not abnormal as possible."

"Does that mean it's going to be inhumane and abnormal?" Atsushi asked.

"Probably," Ojii admitted.

"Unlike the Captain's competition, this one is one at a time," said Sakaki. "Does anyone volunteer to go first?"

The Doubles players looked at each other, and Choutarou finally raised his hand. "I'll go first, since I'm a second year and everyone else is a third year," he offered.

They applauded him for his bravery and secretly hated him for being so selfless.

"Take this paper, read it and memorize it," said Sakaki as he handed Choutarou a small piece of paper.

"Disney princesses?" he read out loud, looking horrified.

"Um…I never told you to read it out loud…" said Sakaki as he took the paper away.

"What's going to happen?" Choutarou asked.

"We're going to bring out your doubles partner, Shishido," Sakaki explained. "And it's your job to get him to say the words on the paper without you saying them first or implying to him that you're trying to get him to say it. If your connection with your doubles partner is true, then it should be no trouble!"

"And we'll time you," Ryuuzaki said, holding up a stop watch. "And whoever takes the shortest out of the five of you to get their doubles partner to say the secret word or words will get to be the captain!"

Choutarou blinked. "But…Shishido would NEVER talk about Disney princesses!" he said.

"SHHH!" everyone hissed.

"If you would invite your doubles partner out onto the court," Sakaki led. "Then we will be able to get this over with as quickly as possible."

Inviting his doubles partner to join him was bitter sweet for Choutarou. He was glad he would be able to hang out with the person he plays doubles with, but at the same time he were worried about embarrassing Shishido.

Shishido reluctantly returned to the tennis courts.

"What is it now?" he said. "Don't tell me I have to play doubles with someone random or something."

"Go ahead!" said Ryuuzaki, pressing the button of the stopwatch.

"Oh…um…" Choutarou said nervously. "Well, as it turns out, Shishido, you don't have to play tennis at all!"

"Okay…so what do I have to do?" Shishido asked the coaches.

"I just figured it would be fun to talk while we were waiting for the coaches to figure out what they want to do," Choutarou said.

Shishido crossed his arms. "All right, Choutarou, what's going on?" he said.

"Nothing!" Choutarou said suspiciously. "So…movies? I know you don't like movies all that much, but do you want to talk about them?"

Shishido was even more wary of something strange occurring. He looked at everyone who was staring at him. "Um…sure…" he said, wanting to make Choutarou happy.

"Did you ever watch Disney movies as a kid?" Choutarou asked.

"Uh…some of them," Shishido answered.

"Everyone has favorite characters," Choutarou continued. "And I'm willing to bet that most girls like—" Choutarou stopped himself from saying the word by accident. So he just stood there and smiled.

"Um…what?" Shishido said.

"Guess!" Choutarou said. "It'll be fun!"

"All right, Choutarou, what's going on?" said Shishido.

"Nothing!" Choutarou said. "I just want to play a guessing game, that's all. I thought it would be fun, but it's okay if you don't want to play."

Shishido looked like he felt bad for embarrassing Choutarou. "Okay, okay," he said. "What was the question?"

"What type of characters do girls generally like?" Choutarou led eagerly.

"Uh…other girls they can relate to?" Shishido tried.

"But what _type _of girls?" said Choutarou. "I mean, what does every girl always wish they can be?"

Shishido looked at Ryuuzaki standing there with a stopwatch, and then at everyone else who appeared eager for him to answer the question. He's sharp; he finally realized that he was in some kind of competition without even realizing it. He didn't know what the competition was, but he figured it had something to do with why Choutarou was acting so silly.

So he looked back at Choutarou. "Well, princesses?" he said.

"Just _any _princesses, Shishido?" said Choutarou.

"Disney princesses?" Shishido tried.

"TIME!" said Ryuuzaki as she pressed the button again. "One minute and twenty-six seconds. The bar has been set."

"Nice job, Shishido!" said Choutarou. "'I'm sorry for deceiving you."

"Wait, so I had to say a certain word?" Shishido guessed.

"Yes, and you will have to stay here while the others compete so you don't go back and give the others an unfair advantage by knowing what the competition is about," Ojii said.

"Why would I tell the others what the challenge is?" Shishido said. "I want Choutarou to win."

"Whatever then!" said Ojii.

Gakuto was next in line. His secret word was, "simile." Oshitari came out onto the court and the two of them started talking. Within about a minute or so, Gakuto suddenly remembered that he was in the competition and quickly tried to make up for lost time. He struggled to get Oshitari to say the word, but within only a couple of seconds, the time had gone past one minute and twenty-six seconds and therefore they were stopped.

"Sorry, Oshitari, you failed at the competition," said Sakaki.

"Competition?" Oshitari said.

"I'm sorry for making a fool out of you!" Gakuto wailed.

"What?" said Oshitari. "I was made a fool of?"

"Let's just keep moving," said Ryuuzaki.

Atsushi came next. He summoned Yanagisawa to the court and attempted to get him to say the phrase "banana split." It was pretty easy, because Atsushi suggested getting ice cream later, and it just so happened that his favorite type of ice cream was a banana split. Yanagisawa inferred, "And I bet you're going to be DIFFERENT this time and get a banana split!"

"Thirty-nine seconds!" said Ryuuzaki, stopping the watch. "That beats the old record! So Atsushi is officially in first place!"

"What?" said Yanagisawa.

"Aww…" Choutarou looked disappointed, but Shishido told him it was okay.

"Itsuki, you're next," said Banji. "If you don't do get Saeki to say 'triangle' within thirty-nine seconds, then you lose."

Saeki was called to the court and Ryuuzaki started the stopwatch.

Itsuki looked nervous. He froze for a good ten seconds before looking at Saeki who was just standing there waiting for something to inform him why he was brought to the court.

"Saeki," Itsuki started. "What's that shape again, that has the three points?"

Saeki looked amused. "Are you serious?" he said.

"Do you not know?" Itsuki asked.

"Of course I know," said Saeki. "That's a triangle that has three points."

"TIME!" said Ryuuzaki. "Twenty-six seconds!"

"Did I win something?" Saeki looked excited.

"No, you just helped Itsuki win something," said Sakaki. "We have one more person."

Everyone looked over at Eiji.

"So much pressure!" Eiji exclaimed.

"So, your secret phrase is 'ninja stars,'" said Sakaki. "If you can get Oishi to say that in less than twenty-six seconds, then you win."

"I know we can do it!" Eiji said as he called to Oishi who expected he would be the next to come out because it was pretty obvious that the four people before him were the doubles partners of the other members of the groups. So Oishi practically sprinted over and as soon as he came to a stop, Ryuuzaki started the clock.

"Hey Oishi!" said Eiji.

"Hi Eiji," said Oishi, but then he looked contemplative. "Hang on… wait… I suddenly got a totally random thought!"

"And what thought is that, Oishi?" Eiji asked.

"Ninja stars," said Oishi with a shrug. "Does that mean anything to you?"

Eiji nodded and looked at the coaches.

The coaches were standing there with wide eyes. Ryuuzaki was so shocked she hadn't even pressed stop on the watch yet.

"I knew you guys were synced… but that right there was ridiculous…" said Ryuuzaki. "That was seven seconds."

"They cheated!" said Gakuto. "There's no way that actually just happened!"

"How could they have possible cheated?" said Banji. "Neither of them knew the word beforehand."

Eiji and Oishi were doing a secret handshake that they probably hadn't made up previously, but had both decided right then and there that they needed one.

"So…I guess this means that Eiji is the captain of Team Doubles," Sakaki said even though he was still in disbelief.

"Thanks for your help, Oishi!" Eiji cheered.

"No problem, Eiji!" said Oishi, getting Eiji THUMBS UP.

"Let's just keep moving right along," Banji suggested to Sakaki. "What group is next?"

"Um…" Sakaki looked down at the clipboard. "The Hard Workers."


	4. Just Don't Bother Me

Chapter IV- "Just Don't Bother Me."

"After my challenge, could I leave because I've already participated in the other two," Shishido said as if that was justification.

"What if you're needed for other challenges?" Sakaki said.

"Then find someone else?" Shishido suggested.

"No, you have to stay here," Sakaki ordered.

"Fine…" Shishido whined slightly.

"All right, the five of you are in this group together because you're all the hardest workers among everyone else!" announced Ryuuzaki. "Except Mizuki. I think there was some kind of miscommunication with you."

"Oh well, too late now," said Mizuki.

"Who was SUPPOSED to be in this group instead of him?" pondered Ojii.

"I forget," Banji shrugged.

"Let's just start with the competition," Sakaki said. "This one will be probably the easiest one to judge because it's an endurance challenge that involves crossing a finish line."

None of the Hard Workers said anything in response. They all had this face that said, "Why, oh why, am I not surprised?"

"But," said Ryuuzaki. "We have something that might even surprise you less. Since all the other challenges have involved having another person participate, this competition is no different!"

"And surely we won't be permitted to choose our own partner?" Inui suggested.

"Precisely!" chimed all the coaches.

"As before, you must work as a group of four to decide the partner of the odd man out," said Banji.

So, initially they decided on Momo for Kaidou, but then they happened to remember how well those two worked together. So they eventually decided to once again pair up Kaidou and Kentarou since it was a pretty ineffective pair in the Captain's challenge.

Also initially they decided it would be fun to pair up Fuji with Yuuta, but then they realized an even better pair would be Fuji and Mizuki. So even though it would have been so very entertaining to force the brothers together, they passed on that opportunity to risk Mizuki's life.

Yuuta, instead, received Jirou's help. They simply couldn't think of anyone else that Yuuta strongly disagreed with, so they figured that maybe there was some hidden resentment towards Jirou for defeating him in like fifteen minutes. Also, they sort of secretly hoped that Jirou wasn't feeling up for a challenge and would, instead, sleep through the whole thing.

The group also decided to put Shishido back with Tachibana. They had been amused by the two in the Captain's challenges so they figured, "What the heck?"

Finally, when it came to Inui, everyone was a little stumped. After all, it had mostly been Inui had thought up everyone else's partner, so they just scanned the group for an incompetent and disagreeable person and finally decided up on Horio.

"You know, this is one of the very occasional instances in which I'm glad to be working with Mizuki," said Fuji with the most content and pleasant smile of all time.

"You know, Fuji, you don't HAVE to be so creepy," Mizuki said. Fuji didn't respond. He just continued to smile. "Like I said."

"Not only will this challenge involve an intense race, but it also tests your faith in your partner!" said Banji.

"Can I concede?" Mizuki raised his hand.

"I KNEW he didn't belong on this team," Ojii whispered to Ryuuzaki.

"You don't even know what the challenge demands!" said Banji.

"Yes, come now, Mizuki, don't be such a chicken," said Fuji. Then Fuji caught sight of Yuuta, and turned him and waved. Yuuta slapped his forehead.

"All right," said Sakaki. "The challenge is to run around the track… carrying your partner."

"Yes, I definitely concede," Mizuki decided as he turned around and walked back towards the group of people. Fuji only stood there and then politely asked if Mizuki was allowed to do that.

"Unfortunately, yes," said Ojii.

"What a shame," Fuji sighed.

"Well, I know I'M not forfeiting," said Shishido. "Even though I hate Tachibana and he's significantly heavier than I am."

"Significantly?" Tachibana repeated, sounding somewhat appalled. "I hardly think it's a significant difference."

"If I had known that the challenge would be like this, I wouldn't have suggested mostly small and light people," Inui said, looking at the people that had been chosen.

"I'm the only person with someone who's heavier than me!" Shishido complained.

"I'm glad," said Yuuta, looking at Jirou.

"Are you?" Jirou said.

"Yeah," Yuuta said. "Not only do I not actually have anything against you, but you're one of the lightest people that could have been picked."

"I'm special that way," Jirou said since he does what he can to be special.

"This isn't fair," Shishido continued to complain. "I am by far the hardest working one in this whole group and I'm not going to be able to compete because Tachibana is too heavy."

"Stop acting like I'm so much bigger than you," said Tachibana with a frown. "I am seriously three inches taller than you are."

"No, it's seriously lots more than that," Shishido said as if it was the hugest deal EVER. "And there's definitely twenty pounds difference between us."

"Twenty pounds?" Tachibana repeated, sounding enraged. "Hardly!"

"Shishido, are you suggesting you, like Mizuki, want to forfeit?" Sakaki said, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"Of course not!" said Shishido, looking pumped.

"I would like to forfeit," said Inui.

Everyone looked at him confusedly.

"WHY?" they all said, gesturing towards Horio's small stature, and Inui's own not-so-small stature.

"It is a personal decision on my part," Inui said.

"AW MAN!" screamed Horio. "I was actually excited about getting a piggy-back!"

"You would have been," Inui scoffed.

They were all led to the track, and the large group watched them curiously. Mizuki and Inui were keen enough to explain the challenge to them, and everyone made fun of Mizuki for being a pussy, but they all knew that secretly in their hearts they would have done the same thing if they had been paired up with Fuji. No one made fun of Inui because they knew he had some sort of smart reason for forfeiting that they would inevitably find out later and curse him for thinking of it first.

"When I say 'Go' then you can pick up your partner and start the race," said Ryuuzaki. "You can carry them however you like… on your shoulders, on your back or whatever."

"We sort of recommend on the back," Banji said. "It's easiest."

"If I lose because of you then it's your fault," said Kaidou, pointing at Kentarou.

"Whoa, geez, that's a lot of pressure…" Kentarou said. "Too bad I can't do anything to influence the situation AT ALL."

"Just don't bother me," Kaidou threatened.

All the groups decided they wanted to carry their partners on their backs. So they got in the ready position, preparing for the moment when Ryuuzaki would say GO!

"GO!" Ryuuzaki yelled.

After Kaidou collected Kentarou, they began. Kaidou didn't seem to be struggling under the weight, and he started with an early lead.

Jirou climbed up on Yuuta's back and immediately shouted "MUSH!" This, of course, caused a moment's diversion because Yuuta felt that Jirou needed a glare before he continued forth. So after the glare was accomplished (and rest assured, Fuji was very proud of his baby brother) they started off down the track as well.

Of course, no one thought Shishido would win. He had pretty much been smooshed by Tachibana within about four seconds of Ryuuzaki saying GO!

"This is all your fault," said Shishido as Tachibana got off him. "Lose some weight!"

"It's not my fault you're worse at tennis than I am," said Tachibana.

"How dare you…!" Shishido started but Choutarou ran over and comforted him and gave him a Thomas the Tank Engine band-aid for his scraped knee.

"The race is pretty much down to Yuuta and Kaidou!" observed Banji as they watched Kaidou reached the halfway mark with Yuuta not far behind him.

"Kaidou will win," said Inui. "With a training schedule almost as rigorous as mine, how could he lose?"

"Are you saying you have no faith in Yuuta?" said Fuji.

"Um…" Inui calmly moved to the other side of the mass.

Not to be anticlimactic or anything, but Kaidou basically won. Even though Yuuta put up a good fight, Inui really does have a point when he said it's impossible for Kaidou to lose in a running challenge. Yuuta works hard and everything, but I think Kaidou is sort of like… the Prince of Endurance. If there was such a prince.

Of course, after the challenge was complete, Kaidou was fine and looked like HE could have carried Tachibana but he didn't because that would have just been ludicrous.

"Kaidou wins!" said Ryuuzaki.

Yuuta looked sad and disappointed, but various people who are obsessed with him came over to give him comfort, which immediately changed his sadness and disappointment into fear and apprehension. So he assured them he was over it so they would leave him alone.

"So Kaidou is the captain of the Hard Worker Team," said Sakaki, marking it on the clipboard.

"And what group is next?" Banji inquired.

"Why…that would be the Tall Team," Sakaki answered.


	5. That Sounds Like a Terrible Idea

Chapter V- "That Sounds Like a Terrible Idea."

"All right…we're going to need to have Renji, Taka, Bane, Sanada and Kabaji out on the tennis courts…" said Ojii.

Said people more or less frolicked to where the coaches were. They were proudly clad in their red-tastic t-shirts, feeling superior and tall. Of course, they weren't taller than some of the people who WEREN'T on their team, but as a collective, they were definitely the tallest. Which made sense, considering they were the Tall Team.

Irrelevantly, they reached the coaches.

"So what are we going to have to do?" asked Sanada. "Reach something on a high shelf?"

"Get to go on a carnival ride before everyone else?" Bane suggested.

"Reach the bottom of a pool in the deep end?" Renji added.

Taka pondered for another one. "Or…figure out…who is…the tallest?" he tried. The others evaluated his statement and decided it was cool. Then they all looked at Kabaji.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

"No, no, no!" said Ryuuzaki. "We realized that you five must constantly be mocked by other people about how tall you are!"

"Who would mock a tall person?" said Bane with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, not mocked…how about taken advantage of?" Ryuuzaki tried.

The Tall Team shrugged nonchalantly. It's not like they cared when someone asked them to get something on the top shelf for them.

"So we decided to take the discrimination OUT of this challenge," Sakaki began. "And move the decision of who gets to be the captain into the hands of your teammates! And by teammates, I mean those people standing over there."

"That sounds like a terrible idea,"Bane decided.

"Excuse me for living," said Sakaki.

"What, you mean just have a vote?" Taka asked more reasonably.

"Pretty much," Ojii shrugged. "You will tell them why YOU deserve to be team captain, and they will vote."

"That's not fair," Renji said. "Because our teammates from our tennis teams will likely unconditionally vote for us. There are only three people on Rikkai Dai who can vote between Sanada and me, while there are eight on Seigaku to vote for Taka. He automatically wins so a vote is unnecessary."

"PSHT," said all the coaches.

"What makes you think we didn't take that into account?" chuckled Ryuuzaki.

"The people who hold the decision are among the people who have no teammates on your team!" said Banji.

The Tall Team was like: Um…did that just make sense?

"You mean…only people from St. Rudolph, Fudomine and Yamabuki will vote?" Renji tried.

"Exactly right!" said Sakaki.

"That being said," Ryuuzaki turned around and looked at the group who all looked quite bored. "Could we have all you folks on St. Rudolph, Fudomine and Yamabuki to come out onto the courts?"

Even though the Tall Team was a little disappointed with the lameness of their challenge, they decided not to complain or else they would end up having to do something foolish like the Hard Workers did.

Atsushi, Mizuki, Yuuta, Tachibana, Shinji, Kamio, Sengoku and Dan all met the coaches on the courts. The coaches quickly explained the situation and gave them each a chair to sit in so they would be comfortable while the Tall Team was talking. They were also given a pad of paper to take notes, but it's not like they were going to since they didn't really care. They pretty much had mutually decided that they were going to do whatever they could to screw the team over so they were going to vote for the worst person possible.

Renji went first. He very intelligently stated his case and announced that he was the smartest and the most capable leader among the group. The voters nodded their heads and knew that he was right so therefore they telepathically decided they would do whatever they could to keep Renji from being team captain.

Renji sort of got that vibe so he stopped halfway through his speech and figured it was pointless to bother. When he stepped down and gestured for the next person to go, everyone else was mildly confused because he had not only stopped in the middle of his sentence, but he was in the middle of a word! What word, you ask? As it happens, it was: trepidation. Don't ask how he ended up using a word like that in such a speech. He's Renji. He can do what he wants.

Bane stood up and spoke for a while about how he was good at making people do what he wanted them to do. Otherwise, they'd get a good clock in the face. And by clock, I mean a kick, not one of those things that you use to tell time. Still, getting one of those in the face would probably hurt a whole bunch anyway, but moving on.

The voters thought this was a good argument for a future unstable team so they kept Bane in mind.

Bane stepped down, and Sanada got up next.

Sanada rambled on and on about how he is co-captain of his tennis team and he was acting captain for quite a while Yukimura was ill had hacking up blood or whatever he was doing, so he clearly has experience. Of course, this argument immediately worked against him, but unlike Renji, this fact hadn't occurred to him, so he went on and described in full detail all the amazing things he did while he was acting captain. He also highlighted his recommendations and printed out eight resumes for the voters.

And the envelopes? Sealed…with a kiss.

Sanada felt pretty confident that he would be made captain of the team after that impressive speech, but Renji just slapped his forehead. It had only occurred to him AFTERWARDS that he should have told Sanada to act like a fool in order to receive the captainship. After all, Renji still had an alliance to Sanada since they were both on Rikkai Dai, and he also knew of Sanada's general competence. However, now they might have been left in the unknown and inexperienced hands of Bane (whose team had elected a FRESHMAN CAPTAIN), Kabaji (who basically had no authority over anyone whatsoever) or Taka (who was on Seigaku so that automatically made him undesirable in Renji's eyes).

The voters whispered to each other as Taka stood up.

"Hi," Taka said, waving nervously.

"Hi," said the voters as they waved back.

"Uh…" Taka looked at the people who had already spoken. "Frankly, I don't really want to be captain. I think I function better when people are telling me what to do. I don't think I would be a BAD captain, but I find myself to be a better follower. So what I'm saying is… don't vote for me."

Taka turned around and went back to the Tall Group. This speech made Renji disgruntled, especially as he watched the voters look at each other with promising expressions.

The last person stood up. That last person was Kabaji.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

And then he sat back down.

"I see," said the voters as a whole.

"All right, so you've heard their pitches," said Ojii. "We'll give you voters five minutes to talk amongst yourselves and figure out who you want to lead the team."

"GOT IT!" said the voters as they turned their chairs into a circle and leaned in.

"So basically it's between Kabaji, Bane or Taka?" Kamio said.

"Well, Taka did say that he didn't think he'd make a bad captain," Atsushi pointed out.

"That doesn't mean he won't still be terrible if he was elected," Yuuta pointed out.

"I think we should choose Kabaji," Sengoku shrugged. "I think it's pretty obvious why."

"No," Tachibana shook his head. "If we elect Kabaji, then he'll just relinquish all his power to Renji and Sanada so even though he'll be the OFFICIAL captain, he won't really be. We have to elect someone who would be obsessed with exhorting his own authority power even if Renji and Sanada have better ideas."

The group looked at each other and simultaneously began to nod.

"We take it by your simultaneous nodding that you have come to a decision?" inferred Banji.

"We have!" said Mizuki as he stood up. "As the elected spokesperson of the group…"

"Since when are you the elected spokesperson?" demanded Sengoku.

"Since I elected myself," Mizuki answered.

"Just say who you choose," ordered Sakaki.

"We decided upon…" Mizuki started, and then paused for dramatic effect. Then, for even more dramatic effect, he took a giant step forward and pointed directly at Bane. "Kurobane from Rokkaku!"

Bane gasped like he had just won Miss America, but quickly got a hold of himself and calmed down. He had been pretty sure that anyone except him, save perhaps Kabaji, would be elected. Little did he know that he was only elected because he would make the WORST captain.

And, since Renji is so smart, he knew right away that this was the fact. He had already reasoned everything out in his head and had hoped that they would choose Kabaji without thinking about that little fact that they happened to notice at the last second. Now he was stuck.

And Sanada was just like: WTF? He had not doubted his ability to become the captain at all. He was certain that the voters' judgment was going to prevail, but he didn't realize the corruptness of the judgment.

Taka didn't care. He didn't want to be the captain so he was glad that he hadn't been picked. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to be elected anyway, but he had also been pretty sure that either Renji or Sanada would have been made captain, so he suddenly came to the realization how close he actually was to becoming captain! GASP!

And Kabaji was like, "Usu."

"Thank you St. Rudolph, Fudomine and Yamabuki," said Ojii as he patted them all on their heads and told them to scamper off. Then he turned to Sakaki. "Don't forget to mark on the sheet who the captain is!"

"I, as a matter of fact, already did it!" Sakaki declared. "And I was looking at the group that was next."

"Isn't that the Freshman Team?" pondered Banji.

"I thought we changed it to the WTF Team…" Ryuuzaki said.

"Oh, so we did," Sakaki noticed. "All right! Listen up everyone! We are halfway through deciding the captains of each team! Once we finish with that, we'll be able to get to the FUN stuff!"

The tennis players all glared in response.

"Could we see the WTF Team out here as soon as possible?" said Ojii.

The pink freshmen looked at each other and then went to the courts to face their horrible fates.


	6. Unless You're the Prince of Tennis

Chapter VI- "Unless You're the Prince of Tennis…"

"BEFORE we start!" Horio announced as he stopped the coaches prior to them even beginning their explanation. "We have an announcement to make!"

The coaches didn't look as excited as the Freshmen might have hoped.

"We made up a secret Team Freshmen handshake!" Horio declared.

"Um…you DO know that our team name was changed to the WTF Team, right?" Ryoma said, adjusting his hat so it covered his face.

"Was it really?" Kachirou looked so very disappointed.

"That throws the whole rhyming scheme off!" said Katsuo.

"It's okay," said Dan. "We can always think up a NEW cheer!" (And no, we're not going to be writing that confounded 'desu' after everything he says. It's bad enough he's even here in the first place, but if he wasn't then the Freshmen Team… excuse me the WTF Team, would be short one member. If you are so affected by his lack of stupidity in saying 'desu,' then go and do something else because if you're going to let it bother you then we don't want you accompanying us on this journey anyway.)

"Good idea!" said Kachirou and Katsuo.

"I would have thought of that!" said Horio.

"All right, enough with you guys talking," said Sakaki since he had the same feelings as me concerning Team WTF.

"Can we just decide that I'm the captain and get this over with?" Ryoma sighed in that voice that suggested that he wanted everyone to hear even though it was a comment that everyone wasn't SUPPOSED to hear.

"No, Ryoma, you must EARN it," Ryuuzaki explained.

"I am OBVIOUSLY the only one worthy to receive the title, though," Ryoma pointed out.

"Ryoma, if that attitude keeps up, we're going to assume you're not a team player and then you'll be disqualified from the entire competition," said Banji.

"And if YOU'RE disqualified, then that means your team only has four people, which automatically disqualifies them as well," Ojii noted.

"And if THAT happens then that means none of you freshmen even have a shot at going to the tennis camp," Sakaki said.

"Yeah," said Ryuuzaki.

The four of them nodded their heads and then slowly started pondering that possibility.

"Okay, okay, I'll compete," said Ryoma since TENNIS IS LIFE.

Thankfully the coaches weren't at the point of no return with their idea so they were able to take it back and allow Ryoma to compete. They also didn't want to have to deal with the freshmen crying so they quickly revoked their threat.

"As freshmen, there are many things expected from you on a tennis team," Sakaki began. "For example, one is expected to work extra hard in practice, but generally not get to play when it comes to be game time."

Ryoma cleared his throat, and Sakaki added under his breath, "Unless you're the Prince of Tennis…"

"Thanks for making us feel bad about ourselves…" Kachirou pouted.

"In addition to this," Ojii continued, not even noticing or caring (is there a difference?) that the freshmen were sad. "Freshmen must pick up all the tennis balls after a practice."

"You can probably see where this is going," Banji said.

"Are we going to have to pick up tennis balls?" Dan inferred.

"Goodness no!" said Ryuuzaki as all the other coaches laughed at him. "What gave you that ridiculous thought?"

The freshmen looked confused.

"Think of it like a tennis ball scavenger hunt," Ryuuzaki explained once she had regained her composure. "While you weren't looking or paying attention, we sent the 3rd Year Team off with one tennis ball each and they were instructed to hide them. As the WTF Team, it is your job to go off and return here with one of those tennis balls."

"WOOT!" cheered the 3rd Year Team since they had heard their team name mentioned.

"The first one back with one of the tennis balls that were specifically marked by us becomes team captain," Ojii finished up.

"This sounds like a really troublesome competition," Ryoma said.

"Of course it is!" said Banji. "What did you expect? You're freshmen."

"So we're guessing that by your ridiculous 'WOOT'ing, that you have finished hiding the tennis balls?" Sakaki called to the 3rd Year Team.

"RIGHT-O!" the 3rd Year Team called back.

"That being said," Sakaki looked to the freshmen. "You may begin."

The freshmen looked a little confused at first, but then they realized that they had just been informed to begin. So, instead of waiting any longer, they all tore off in different directions in search of a tennis ball.

Except for Ryoma who was still there.

"Aren't you even going to bother trying?" Ryuuzaki put her hands on her hips.

"I was just wondering about one of the rules," Ryoma said.

"And what is that?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Am I allowed to ask one of the 3rd Years where the tennis balls are?" he said.

"You are allowed to do whatever you want in order to find a tennis ball," Ryuuzaki replied.

"Including asking one of the 3rd Years where one is?" Ryoma clarified.

"WHATEVER YOU WANT," Ryuuzaki was pretty sure her explanation was clear enough for him.

"Just making sure I don't get disqualified or something," Ryoma said.

"They probably won't tell you though," Sakaki pointed out.

Ryoma knew he could get ONE of them to tell him. And that one person… was Oishi.

He strolled over to the 3rd Years who were all still patting themselves on the backs for coming up with fantastic hiding spots that they were sure the WTF Team would never be able to find.

Ryoma only approached them and cleared his throat.

They all looked at him with these faces that were like; "EXCUSE us? Because we have been placed on this 3rd Year exclusive team, we have recently come to realize how wonderful and badass it is to be FOURTEEN instead of TWELVE, so if you desire to speak with us, make sure you use words and not just stand behind us and clear your throat. PS We're better than you! LOLZ!"

Ryoma was startled by this expression at first because he had never seen it by a collective before.

"Uh…Oishi?" he said. "I have a question."

"Yes?" said Oishi since he was part of the group, after all.

"Where did you hide your tennis ball?" Ryoma asked.

"I'm not allowed to tell!" said Oishi.

"The coaches said it would be all right," Ryoma assured him. "Don't you want a member of Seigaku to be the captain of this team?"

"Well, four out of five of the members of the team are on Seigaku so I'm pretty confident in the fact that a member of Seigaku will be captain," Oishi shrugged.

"Besides, he wants to see you suffer so you go find the tennis ball on your own!" said Yanagisawa.

"That's not true!" said Oishi. "I never want to see ANYONE suffer! That's why I always carry around a first aid kit just in case!"

"Well, is there any way you can tell me where one of the tennis balls are?" Ryoma tried.

Oishi battled internally for a moment.

"You're sure the coaches said it was all right?" Oishi asked.

"No, you can't tell him!" said Ryou.

"Why not?" said Oishi.

"Just think;" Saeki started. "If he's the captain then that team might actually function like a real team. If one of the others is the captain then we won't have to worry about them in upcoming challenges."

"I don't think we're going to have to worry about them no matter who the team captain is," Jirou evaluated. "They're just FRESHMEN."

The others had to agree and they all subsequently laughed in Ryoma's face for having been born two years later than them.

"I could beat you all at tennis," Ryoma said in a voice that was like ice.

The 3rd Years immediately stopped their rejoiceful laughter and instead looked dejected.

"That wasn't nice…" they sobbed.

"Okay…how about this?" Ryoma tried. "I'll teach whoever tells me where a tennis ball is how to do the Twist Serve."

Instantaneously, all five of the 3rd Years whipped a tennis ball out from behind their backs and presented them to Ryoma.

"Mine was first!" Jirou argued.

"No way, I was first!" Yanagisawa argued.

The others joined in on the argument as well until Ryoma told them to cease and desist.

"Well, you have to take one, don't you?" said Oishi. "Take mine. After all, we're both on Seigaku. It would be silly to teach the Twist Serve to someone who was NOT on our team!"

Ryoma could see the logic in that so he reached for Oishi's tennis ball.

"No, wait!" said Saeki. "If you teach your trump card to Oishi, then he'll teach everyone else on your team and then you'll be bumped off the Regulars!"

Ryoma blinked. He WOULD have thrown his head back and laughed because the thought of being bumped off the Regulars was just outrageously hilarious to him. So he took Oishi's tennis ball, saluted the 3rd Years and trotted back to the coaches. Oishi did the happy dance and the other four sulked.

Ryoma presented the tennis ball to the coaches.

"This is one of them, that's for sure!" said Sakaki as he observed the markings on the tennis ball.

"Ryoma is the captain of the WTF Team!" Ryuuzaki announced.

"Do we have to be called the WTF Team?" Ryoma asked.

"Yes," said Ryuuzaki.

"Fine," Ryoma frowned.

"Let's move right along, shall we?" said Banji.

"The next team?" Ojii asked of Sakaki.

"We will be evaluating both the 3rd Year Team and the 2nd Year Team in this single competition, remember?" said Sakaki. "So we need all ten members of those two teams to come forth!"


	7. Actually, It's Entirely Your Fault

Chapter VII- "Actually, It's Entirely Your Fault…"

"This will be a one on one competition," said Ojii to the 2nd Years and the 3rd Years. "We designed it as a competition between which year is better; 2nd or 3rd."

Both teams muttered under their breath that their own year was superior.

"So this will involve four mini competitions," said Banji. "It will be composed of relay races. If your team wins a relay, then you choose one person from your team that you want to be in the contending for the captainship. The other team will then choose between all your choices who they want to be your captain."

"Wait…" said Oishi slowly. "So that means… if let's say our team wins two of the competitions so Saeki and I get chosen, then the other team has to choose between the two of us who will be the captain?"

"Very good, Oishi, you caught on quickly," complimented Ryuuzaki.

"Is it a bad sign that I can't tell whether or not that was sarcasm?" Oishi looked uneasy.

"Sure!" said Ryuuzaki ambiguously.

"So the first of the four relays is that crazy egg on the spoon game," said Sakaki. "I feel fairly confident that you all have either played this before or at least know what the game is all about."

It was more or less true, and anyone who didn't know what the game involved received an extremely long winded explanation from Shinji.

Jirou, Oishi, Saeki, Yanagisawa and Ryou all got in line with Ryou in front simply because he had gotten there first. Momo, David, Hiyoshi, Kamio and Shinji, the team of 2nd Years, lined up next to their seniors with Momo at the head.

The coaches passed out a spoon and an egg to each team.

"Remember, if your egg breaks then you automatically lose," Ojii warned.

"On your mark!" said Ryuuzaki, raising her hand. "Get set! GO!"

The two groups immediately leapt to begin, but as it turned out, Momo tripped on something or other (he must have been concentrating too hard) and fell on his face, causing the egg to go SPLAT!

There was a bit of a pause as Ryou stopped his running and returned to his team.

"WE WIN!" they cheered after their delayed reaction.

"MOMO!" yelled the 2nd Years.

"What?" demanded Momo. "It's not MY fault!"

"Actually, it's entirely your fault…" Kamio pointed out.

"All right…" said Banji. "Way to ruin my favorite relay race, guys."

"Excuse us for living," said all ten tennis players.

"So, 3rd Years, choose one person to be in the race for captainship," Sakaki said.

The 3rd Years turned into a huddle. They discussed it briefly, and then it was decided that Saeki was the choice. After all, Saeki was an assistant captain, and the others figured he must have captain-envy since a freshman got to be captain of the tennis team instead of him.

"Okay, moving onto the next relay," said Ryuuzaki. "We will require that everyone takes off their shoes and puts them on the other side of the nets."

Everyone sort of new what was coming so they tried to tie their tennis shoes together (cause realistically, what else would they be wearing?) but the coaches quickly caught on and made sure all of the sneakers were apart. And then more youthful ones (AKA Sakaki) ran around and threw the shoes around so they were all mixed up.

"It's not going to be THAT hard since there're only twenty shoes…" Banji said when he watched all the students whine.

"But it's still annoying," said Hiyoshi just as Sakaki came back.

"Okay," he said, dabbing his brow with a towel. "You have to bound over the net, put both your shoes on and then come back. When you slap the hand of the next person in line then that person goes. The first team with all the players back here with their shoes on and tied wins."

"If anyone leaves early or returns to the line without putting their shoes on completely then your team will automatically lose," Ojii warned.

Since Ryuuzaki is CLEARLY the self proclaimed 'starter' of the whole thing, she signaled for everyone to go. The teams used the same order and sprinted for the net, leaping over it with great expertise like they were paid for it. After searching around for their shoes and putting them back on, Ryou and Momo returned to their lines.

The next people in line went, and so forth. The race was relatively close. The last person from each line, Kamio and Oishi respectively, left at almost the same time. Kamio had an advantage because he was fast, but his shoes had been tossed further than Oishi's who was lucky enough to have his shoes relatively close together.

However, WE ALL KNOW HOW UNREALISTICALLY FAST KAMIO IS. And it's not like Oishi has ever been revered for his speed, so Kamio was pretty much putting his shoes on and running at the same time and not losing any time. Oishi jumped over the net at almost the same time as Kamio, but naturally Kamio was back first.

Oishi looked sad, but his team assured him it was okay, even though they were glaring at Kamio and maybe secretly blaming Oishi for not being fast enough.

"Well, if we follow the logic of the 3rd years, I am the assistant captain of my team!" said Kamio proudly.

"But the last thing we want to do is to look like we're inferior to the 3rd Years and follow their logic!" Momo pointed out.

Even though Momo had a bad idea, the other 2nd Years thought it was more important to have their individuality from their seniors. So they picked Hiyoshi, mostly because we all know how obsessed Hiyoshi is with being captain for Hyoutei NEXT YEAR. Even though it took him like four seconds to lose to Ryoma…

"All right, this next challenge starts as soon as I finish speaking," said Sakaki. "You must get yourself in age order. Then, the oldest person in your group has to run to everyone standing on the sidelines and find the person who is the next oldest and bring him back. Then, the youngest person has to go to the people in the sidelines and bring back the person who is the next youngest. Once the seven of you are in an accurate age order line then that team wins."

Sakaki stopped talking, but everyone still looked confused.

"I said it started as soon as I finished talking," Sakaki reminded them.

Everyone gasped and said OH YEAH.

They all quickly exchanged birthdates. The 3rd Years established their oldest member, Oishi, the quickest and he immediately ran off towards the large mass of people who were bored.

"Hi Oishi!" Eiji cheered.

"Hi Eiji!" said Oishi with a wave. Then he remembered he was on a mission. "Okay, who here has a birthday closest to April 30th and is a 3rd Year?"

"Wait, ignore him!" said Momo as he barreled over. "I need someone whose birthday is closest to July 23rd and is a 2nd Year!"

Oishi looked at Momo with this face that was like; "Your insolence and disrespect makes me sad!"

"In case anyone cares, MY birthday is April 20th," said Marui as if that didn't mean anything.

"All right, let's go!" said Oishi as he grabbed Marui and dragged him back to the tennis court.

Inui flipped through his data book. "Momo, I believe you are seeking out Kaidou," he said.

"Thanks!" said Momo without bothering to check to see if Inui was right. Momo had learned at that point that Inui was always right and it was silly to try and question him. Even though Kaidou was annoyed with helping Momo, he went to the tennis courts anyway because he had 2nd Year pride.

"Inui, don't you have any 3rd Year pride?" Fuji asked.

"Yes," said Inui.

"Why did you help Momo then?" Fuji questioned.

"I always jump at the chance to prove that my data is useful," Inui said.

"Wait, do you have all of our birthdays in there?" said Atobe, looking annoyed, stopping just short of exclaiming STALKER!

But they didn't have anymore time to argue because Yanagisawa had imposed his presence on them. "All right, whose birthday is next after December 9th?"

He was quickly followed by Hiyoshi who wanted to know whose birthday was after December 5th.

They both looked over Inui's shoulder as he flipped through the data book and said, "Hm…"

"Kabaji…and Dan," Inui said, pointing at said individuals.

So then it came down to a foot race. Atobe ordered Kabaji to go fast for the 3rd years because he DEFINITELY had 3rd Year pride. But then he realized that Hiyoshi was the opponent and he had even more Hyoutei pride, so he stopped himself, and Kabaji as well.

"Actually, Atobe, I don't really want my team to win anymore challenges, because if I'm the only choice then I get to be captain," Hiyoshi admitted.

"Oh," said Atobe. "Then I get the best of both worlds. All right, go on Kabaji."

And so Kabaji and Yanagisawa departed.

The 3rd Years on the tennis courts cheered and then all the extra people were booted back to the waiting area. The 3rd Year Team then had to choose the second person they wanted to represent them, and since they thought of the idea first, they went with the theory that Oishi should be the next one because he's also an assistant captain of his respective team.

Momo looked at his 2nd Year compadres. "Guys, we have to win another challenge so the 3rd Years won't think they're better than us!" he announced.

"Yeah and otherwise Hiyoshi will automatically be the captain!" Kamio pointed out.

"Is there something wrong with that?" Hiyoshi said, looking annoyed.

"Yes," said Shinji. Everyone expected him to say more but he didn't, oddly enough.

"Why is that a problem?" Hiyoshi said.

"Because we refuse to be YOUR underlings!" David announced.

"Here, here!" cheered the others.

"We refuse to do as Santa's workers do!" David continued.

The others were ABOUT to cheer HERE, HERE! But then they stared at David confusedly.

"In that sense, you can say we REFUSE to be subordinate Clauses!" David said.

Everyone decided to murder him after that one, but the coaches cleared their throats to get attention.

"The last competition is DIZZY BAT!" said Ryuuzaki.

Of course their response was a groan but they were undeterred.

"Because we're sort of running out of time and we still have another group to go through, we're going to ask each team to choose someone from their group to compete for them," said Sakaki. "But you should choose wisely. Because if this person wins, then he gets to be in the contention for captainship."

So they took the advice of their coaches and made sure to choose wisely. The 3rd Years picked Ryou because it seemed smarter than choosing either Jirou or Yanagisawa. The 2nd Years decided upon Kamio because they realized that their earlier idea was actually kind of stupid and it would make the most sense to elect someone who is in a co-captain position instead of avoiding that type of person. Besides, Kamio was so very fast.

"All right, if there's any cheating then you automatically lose," Banji warned.

"Spin around ten times and then go to the baseline on the other side of the court," Ojii said. "The first one there wins."

The entirety of Hyoutei cheered for the 3rd Years because Atobe informed them of Hiyoshi's fiendish plan to become the captain. And they really did need at least one Hyoutei member to be a captain since there were none of them yet. And, of course, the 3rd Years all cheered for the 3rd Year Team so the 2nd Years had like three people cheering for them.

Kamio's speed meant nothing when he was dizzy. And it was certainly difficult to maneuver his way even more because he has no depth perception since he styles his hair like an emo.

In short, Ryou was able to make it to the opposite side of the court before Kamio was.

"Congratulations 3rd Years!" said the coaches as almost everyone on the sidelines erupted into cheers.

Hiyoshi rubbed his hands together diabolically. Even though he hadn't contributed to the failure of Kamio, he was gad that he lost.

"So…" said Ryuuzaki. "The 3rd Years have to choose between Hiyoshi and… that's it…"

The 3rd Years paused. "We pick Hiyoshi!" they said.

And then the 2nd Years had to choose between Saeki, Oishi and Ryou. Eventually they gave in to Saeki's captain envy. Even though it probably would have been better to choose Ryou who had absolutely no authority in decision making under normal circumstances so he would be unaccustomed to it, they pitied Saeki and gave it to him.

"So the captain of the 3rd Years is Saeki, and the captain of the 2nd Years is Hiyoshi," said Sakaki, scribing the results down.

"And we only have one team left to deal with!" said Ojii.

"If we could see Oshitari, Fuji, Marui, Sengoku and Kirihara on the courts now?" said Banji. "We have to choose the captain out of the Genius Team."


	8. I DO Want Another High Five

Chapter VIII- "I DO Want Another High Five…"

"The object of this challenge will be somewhat like a quiz show," Ryuuzaki explained.

"We'll ask you questions about your fellow Geniuses, and you will have to answer them," said Banji. "The first person to get a certain amount of questions right wins."

"And you're not permitted to answer questions about yourself," Ojii pointed out.

"I have a question," Marui raised his hand. "All the other teams' challenges involved the participation of other people. Our challenge doesn't seem to include anyone else aside from ourselves…"

"It's because we don't NEED anyone else," said Sengoku, crossing his arms and looking confident. "That's why we're geniuses!"

"Actually, Marui has a point," said Sakaki said. "We should somehow sacrifice the simplicity of our game and find a way to include the others!"

The other geniuses took turns smacking Marui upside the head as the coaches huddled.

Whence the coaches turned back around, they had come to a decision.

"You must choose someone to represent you who will answer the questions for you," said Ojii.

"How does that test US at all?" questioned Oshitari.

"It doesn't," said Ojii.

They waited for him to continue but he didn't.

"Okay…" said the Geniuses.

"And just so it's fair, you have to pick numbers out of a hat to determine the order in which you will choose the person to represent you," said Ryuuzaki as she produced a hat from behind her backs with the numbers one through five in it as if they had previously planned it.

One by one, the team took turns picking the papers. Kirihara got number one, Oshitari got number two, then Marui, then Sengoku and then Fuji.

"So who do you pick, Kirihara?" said Sakaki.

"Renji," said Kirihara. "DUH."

Everyone else cursed him.

"Oshitari?" Sakaki asked.

"Inui," Oshitari answered. "Again, DUH."

Everyone cursed him as well.

"Marui, your turn," said Ojii.

Marui considered it for a few seconds. "Well…" he said. "I guess I'll go with… Sanada?" He shrugged.

"And Sengoku?" asked Banji.

"I'll go with Mizuki," Sengoku decided.

"And finally," said Ryuuzaki. "Fuji. Who do you pick?"

Fuji smiled pleasantly. OF COURSE. "Yuuta," he answered.

…OF COURSE.

So the five mentioned people were summoned to the court. The Genius Team sighed and figured they'd get comfortable since it's not like they had to do anything for the challenge that would determine their captainship.

The coaches explained the rules to Inui, Yuuta, Sanada, Renji and Mizuki and informed them who they would be representing.

"We'll ask ten questions," said Ryuuzaki. "If there is a tie, we'll move to a sudden death tie breaker."

"The first set of questions will be easy, but then they will get more difficult," Ojii explained.

"Working with the order in which you picked your names…" said Sakaki. "We'll start with a question about Kirihara. Remember, Renji, you're not allowed to answer this question."

"Why?" said Kirihara, sitting up. "The rule was originally made to prevent us from answering questions about ourselves. But now we're not answering the questions so everyone should be able to answer all of them."

"Good point, Kirihara," said everyone, shaking his hand.

But the coaches didn't want to be proven wrong so they kept the restriction anyway, saying that they might have formed a telepathic bond with their partner in the few minutes they had been together.

"Okay," said Sakaki. "Which hand is Kirihara's dominant hand?"

"Right," said Inui pretty much before Sakaki had finished his statement.

"Correct!" said Sakaki.

Oshitari gave Inui a high five.

"Next is a question about Oshitari, so you can't answer, Inui," said Ryuuzaki. "What team does Oshitari play for?"

"Hyoutei!" pretty much everyone shrieked.

The coaches looked at each other. "Er…let's give EVERYONE a point!" cheered Banji.

"You might as well give none of them a point," Inui adjusted his glasses. "That was unfairly easy and I deserve a free point too."

"Don't get too obsessed with winning the game, Sadaharu," said Renji. "After all, it's not determining _your _captainship."

"Oh right," said Inui, looking pensive.

"But feel free to try as hard as you want," Oshitari said. "Don't you want another high five?"

Inui looked at his hand longingly.

"I DO want another high five…" he admitted.

"MOVING ON," said Ryuuzaki, clearing her throat. Then she kindly gestured to Banji.

"This one is about Marui so Sanada cannot answer," said Banji. "Who does Marui usually play doubles with?"

"Jackal Kuwahara," chimed Inui and Renji together.

Marui suddenly sat up. "Hey, where _is _he anyway?" he pondered aloud.

Inui turned around and accepted his well deserved high five. Kirihara left Renji hanging for a little while, but eventually he realized what he was waiting for and they exchanged a high five experience as well.

"Now a question about Sengoku so Mizuki can't answer," said Ojii.

"Come on, Yuuta, get us back in the game!" said Fuji, patting Yuuta on the shoulder, which only made Yuuta cringe.

"It is not 'us,'" said Yuuta. "This is YOUR challenge! Frankly, I don't want you to be captain for the sake of your team."

"Yuuta, that hurts me," said Fuji, looking sad.

Predictably, at the end of ten questions, Renji and Inui were both tied. Everyone else was booted away form the competition. Fuji was disappointed because he figured he was the best for the job. Sengoku didn't really care because that's just the way he is… and Marui… was seriously wondering where Jackal was and curious as to why he hadn't noticed his absence until the mention of his name.

It was sudden death overtime, and everyone knew that Renji and Inui would not yield to each other.

Surprisingly, however, when Sakaki asked the question, there was absolute silence. The question had been exceedingly easy (Who are you representing?) in an attempt to through the two datamen off.

So Sakaki repeated the question, but still neither Renji nor Inui replied. They were only staring at each other in absolute silence. Everyone was confused, and wondered if perhaps the two had fallen asleep, since Renji always kept his eyes closed and no one could see Inui's eyes anyway.

Suddenly, Renji spoke.

"Kirihara," he answered.

"YES!" Kirihara cheered, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Okay…so Kirihara wins…" the coaches looked ultimately confused.

Oshitari pulled Inui aside. "You threw that last question, didn't you?" he said.

"Of course," Inui replied. "Renji and I planned it all along. We rigged it so Kirihara would win, because he would not be a suitable leader for your team."

"I see," said Oshitari, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I'm never talking to you again."

Oshitari walked away from Inui, and Inui wasn't about to let anyone know just how hurt he was.

"All right, all right!" said Ryuuzaki. "Everyone come in the middle here and we'll explain what is next on the agenda!"

All eight teams met up with the coaches.

"You will have two days to prepare for the first task," Banji said. "By noon on the day after tomorrow, we expect you here to compete. You're not required to live together, or even prepare at all, but if you hope to win then preparation is essential."

"What IS the challenge?" asked some angry tennis player who would have liked to be at home eating a delicious meal.

"You are to be putting on a talent show!" said Sakaki. "Figure out what you want to do and include as many people as you'd like, but you only have five minutes to present your talent."

"Our judging will be severe," Ojii warned. "We will be judging on originality, presentation and, of course, the talent itself. We'll consider all the way from first place to eighth place. And trust me, you don't want to come in a bad place."

"Make sure you listen to your captain's advice," Ryuuzaki added. "Teamwork is the only thing that will get you through these challenges!"

"And if you're late or fail to wear your team color then your team is automatically disqualified," Banji said. Then he looked to the other coaches. "Anything else?"

The other coaches shrugged.

"We'll see you all at noon the day after tomorrow!" said Sakaki.

And if the coaches were ninjas, they would have disappeared right then and there. But they're not ninjas. So they ran away instead.

The tennis players that remained glared at each other; the war was officially on. No one was going to be caught slipping up. From then on, they decided there would be nothing else aside from the competition to go to the tennis camp. They would see no one else aside from their team, and they would do nothing but train. They were even willing to put TENNIS aside!

Well…almost. There's always time for tennis.


	9. I Want to Wear a Cool Costume

Chapter IX- "I Want to Wear a Cool Costume."

The next team, the Team Captains met at Atobe's mansion early in the morning. They resolved to come up with the most talented talent show anyone had ever seen in their lives.

"Now keep in mind we only have five minutes to show off all our copious talent," Atobe said as he sat down at the head of the table in the dining room. The other four captains were also seated, because anything else would have been absolutely ludicrous.

"We have to come up with an idea first," Tachibana reminded him as he rested his chin on his hands.

"Well, we all got a chance to sleep on it," Atobe said. "Any ideas?"

The other captains looked at each other uneasily.

Atobe gave a sigh. "Am I the only one putting ANY effort into this project?"

"No offense or anything, Atobe, but you're not the captain of this team," Kentarou said. "It's Yukimura's job to command us."

Kentarou gestured towards Yukimura who was seated on the other side of Tachibana.

"I don't mind," said Yukimura with a smile. "We're all brainstorming here."

"Atobe, you implied that you had an idea?" Tezuka said, trying to stay on task.

"I do, as a matter of fact," said Atobe, looking smug. "And I suppose you all want me to share the idea with you. Well I will."

The other four waited for him, but he just continued to sit there looking smug.

"Well?" Tachibana led.

"Give me a minute," Atobe urged.

"You didn't REALLY think up an idea," said Tezuka, his eyes narrowing as if Atobe had just offended or betrayed him. Or both.

"I DID," Atobe corrected sitting up straight. He realized he had lost his head a little so he casually and calmly leaned back in his chair. "It just occurred to me that none of you would be able to pull it off."

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Tachibana. "Just tell us what you're idea is."

"Very well," said Atobe as he stood up and disappeared into the other room.

The remaining captains looked at each other and waited.

"Do you think he really has something?" asked Kentarou.

"Probably not," Tachibana decided, crossing his arms. "He's probably off trying to find someone to give him an idea."

Atobe returned just then wheeling a large wooden box that was taller than he was but not much wider.

"What is that?" Yukimura inquired.

"This is our ticket to first place victory!" Atobe answered as he knocked the side of it confidently. "I had my servants make it last night while you all were doing nothing for our cause."

"That's all well and good, but what is it _for_?" Tezuka said, standing up.

"The grand finale of course," Atobe answered.

"Grand finale _of what_?" said Tachibana, getting a little annoyed.

"The magic show," Atobe said.

"You know magic?" Kentarou questioned.

"No, but it's not really that difficult," Atobe said. "Especially for this trick. All it takes is a little showmanship, and the hardest part his for the person who is actually disappearing."

He opened up the box with its swinging door and then revealed another hidden door that latched onto the back, leaving only a little bit of space for a person to stand.

"The assistant goes in, and then when the door closes, he goes up against the wall in the back and swings that door closed," Atobe narrated as he opened and closed the secret door.

The captains looked intrigued.

"Won't people be able to tell that the box suddenly looks smaller?" Tachibana finally said.

"You know, we're not going for being professionals," said Atobe, looking annoyed that Tachibana shot down his idea. "The point is that the difference will be so small because the compartment is barely thin enough to fit a person."

"That's because it IS too small!" Kentarou said. "No one could fit in there!"

"You can't make that judgment until we know for sure that that is a fact," Yukimura pointed out.

"Who volunteers to attempt to fit in there?" Tachibana asked. "It's definitely not me because I'm the biggest one here."

"Considering there is a massive height difference distinguishing Kentarou from the rest of us captains…" said Tezuka as he intelligently weighed his options.

"And he's a 1st year so therefore we have the authority to push him around…" Atobe added.

"I don't want to squeeze in there," said Kentarou with a frown.

"Yukimura, as the captain of this team, you have the authority to force him," Tachibana said.

"Well…if he really doesn't want to do it…" Yukimura said slowly. "I mean, can't we always think of something else to do for the talent show?"

"Excuse me, but I worked hard on building this box," Atobe said.

"You said your servants did it," Tachibana said.

"Well, I worked hard on explaining to them what I wanted," Atobe corrected himself.

"Kentarou, if you don't end up fitting then we have to think up a different thing for the talent show," said Yukimura. "Therefore, if you're so confident that you won't fit, then it won't take long."

Kentarou grumbled and argued but he was finally convinced to get in the box. They closed the secret door with seemingly no problem whatsoever and waited a few seconds.

"It appears to me that he fits just fine," Tezuka noticed.

The door opened again and Kentarou was standing there looking contemplative. "You know what?" he said. "I had an epiphany while I was back there…"

"Oh?" said the seniors.

"This could actually work," Kentarou said.

Team Captains threw a party and then started figuring out what else had to be done to make their trick even better.

"Well, we have to paint the box," Tachibana said. "The inside should be black so no one will be able to see the true proportions."

"Good point," said Atobe. "And the outside should be blue with gold stars."

"Why?" said the others.

"Because it's MY box, and I've decided I want it to be blue with gold stars," Atobe answered as if he were a victim.

"And we should get cool costumes too," Kentarou added. "I want to wear a cool costume."

"Do you have money to buy a cool costume?" Tezuka inquired. "Or perhaps a costume already available?"

"No…" Kentarou said slowly. "But if we're going to be spending money on paint, I think we can spend a little bit more on cool costumes. Obviously the magician has to have a cape, a wand and a top hat."

"Look, we don't have to spend more money on this than we have to," said Tachibana. "Let's just do the bare minimum and be done with it."

"But if we just do the bare minimum and other people go above and beyond then we won't get first place!" Kentarou argued.

"Yukimura, what do you say?" said Tachibana. "YOU'RE captain."

"Oh I don't know," said Yukimura with a shrug. "They're both good points. But let's not forget that Atobe is absurdly rich."

Atobe snapped his fingers. "That's right," he said. "I am."

"Oh yeah…" said the others.

So money was not an issue for Team Captains. They went out and bought the best of the best for their magic show. And then Atobe argued that he shouldn't have to paint the box since he paid for the paint, and the others thought that was a justified opinion so they painted the inside of it black, but when it came to the outside being blue with yellow stars… they decided to go with a nice solid blue instead.

As they painted, they started to realize that they probably should have practiced BEFORE painting it, but they were at the point of no return so they continued to paint anyway.

"Okay, so we know that Kentarou is going to be the one disappearing," said Tachibana as the box was drying. "Who is going to be the magician?"

"It all depends on who would be able to present the trick the best," Tezuka said.

"So…not you?" Tachibana said.

Tezuka threw a glare at Tachibana.

"I know I would get stage fright," said Yukimura.

"Yeah, and I wouldn't be able to do it either," Tachibana agreed. "Atobe, it was your idea. Do you want to do it?"

"Not particularly," Atobe said.

"_I _want to be the magician," Kentarou grumbled.

"Well too bad, you're the assistant," said Tachibana.

"I'm sure one of you guys would be able to fit back there," said Kentarou. "It doesn't really have anything to do with height."

"He's right, actually," Atobe pointed out. "It has everything to do with how wide you are around. Which means YOU going into the box, Tachibana, is out of the question."

"What?" demanded Tachibana. "What's that supposed to mean? I am SO not fat."

"You practically crushed Shishido with your enormous weight," Atobe said.

"Um…it's not MY fault that I'm taller than Shishido, and therefore weigh more than him," Tachibana said.

"Could you two stop arguing about pointless things?" Tezuka said. "We have to figure this out so we can start practicing."

"I'll go in the box," Yukimura offered.

"You said you'd get stage fright," said Tachibana.

"Not if my only job is to step in a box and most of my work is unobservable by the people watching," Yukimura said.

"So I get to be the magician?" Kentarou said eagerly.

Even though they were a little reluctant to give Kentarou what he wanted on the sole basis that he was a freshman, they let him be the magician. They figured it would be the best option since Kentarou was enthusiastic and did well under pressure filled situations.

"Let's try practicing without the box while it dries, and then we'll add the box element," Atobe said. "So by the time you're actually using the box, it will be second nature."

They all agreed and started their practicing, confident that THEIR talent would reign supreme.


	10. I Read About It In This Online Article

Chapter X- "I Read About It In This Online Article."

"I'm glad everyone here values punctuality as much as I do!" said Eiji cheerfully as he practically tore his door off its hinges to welcome the last member of the group, Choutarou, into his lovely home.

"I was worried I was late!" Choutarou admitted as he came in and joined the circle on the floor where everyone else already was.

"No…mostly everyone else was just early," Eiji shrugged.

"Has anyone thought of anything yet?" Choutarou asked.

"No," said Gakuto, leaning back. "We were all just sitting around waiting for everyone to show up."

"Okay," Choutarou shrugged.

"Let's start thinking now," Atsushi suggested. "Does anyone have any special talents or abilities?"

"I can do acrobatics like I'm being paid for it," Gakuto said.

"And I can do acrobatics like I'm being paid for it too, just not as substantially as Gakuto is being paid for it," Eiji added.

"I can make this weird sound with my nose," said Itsuki as he did just that. Everyone sort of gave him a weird look and told him to just stay quiet.

"What about you Ootori?" Eiji asked.

"I play the violin and the piano," Choutarou shrugged.

"Well can we do something to combine all those talents and make one super presentation?" Atsushi pondered. "Not the weird nose thing, but the other ones."

"Awww…" said Itsuki sadly.

"What if Ootori played an instrument and you guys jumped around and flipped and stuff to the music?" Atsushi suggested.

"Um, excuse me, it's called _acrobatic play_," said Gakuto, looking more offended than he should have been.

"Whatever!" said Atsushi.

"It might be all right," said Eiji.

"I don't know if I'd feel comfortable with all that pressure on my shoulders," Choutarou admitted.

"Besides, won't that take a while to choreograph?" Itsuki asked.

"I'm just throwing out ideas," said Atsushi.

"But Itsuki's right about the choreographing thing," said Gakuto. "And won't it look a little unbalanced because I'm so much better?"

"What?" said Eiji, shooting a bitchy glare at Gakuto.

"Well maybe Ootori can just play the piano then," Atsushi tried. "They DID say that we could have only one person performing if we wanted."

"That'll work," said Gakuto. "Let's do that."

"But…" Choutarou started. "That's…that's even MORE pressure!"

"You do recitals and stuff, don't you?" said Eiji.

"Yeah, but the only thing at stake is my own personal sense of accomplishment," Choutarou said. "Here, there are lots of things at stake. There are other people counting on me, there's judging in accordance to everyone else and also a potential tennis camp!"

"There's going to be lots of other competitions… this is just a drop in the bucket comparatively speaking," Atsushi said.

"Still, I don't know if I'd be able to do it," Choutarou said, looking like he was teetering on the steep ledge of hyperventilation.

"It's all right, all right!" Gakuto said. "Chillax. We'll think of something."

"Okay, thanks…" Choutarou looked relieved.

"But you're the backup if we can't think of anything," Gakuto said. "Agreed?"

"What?" said Choutarou. "No!"

"You know, if you're going to be apart of this team, you're going to have to learn the meaning of the words 'teamwork' and 'sacrifice'!" said Gakuto. "We're ALL going to have to make sacrifices for this team! Who knows what challenge the coaches might throw at us next?"

"It's true," said Eiji. "They might tell us that we have to send the tallest member of our group in order to complete a task."

"That would be me," said Choutarou sullenly.

"Or the youngest," Atsushi added.

"Again, me…" Choutarou sighed.

"And…" Gakuto started. Then he stopped. "Wait, he's the youngest AND the tallest? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"

"Regardless," said Eiji. "The point is, at some point in this challenge we may have to depend on you for a challenge if the teachers throw a curve ball at us. We just have to know you're willing to sacrifice for the team!"

"I am!" said Choutarou. "I love being apart of a team. Why do you think I play doubles? I just feel nervous about performing in front of everyone. I'm also afraid of…um… well, getting judged lowly in comparison to the other groups…"

"I know!" said Atsushi. "We could hypnotize him to get rid of his fear!"

"Hypnotize him?" repeated Itsuki. "How?"

"Will it work?" Choutarou asked since he wanted to contribute to the team after all the meaningful speeches.

"Sure!" said Atsushi. "I read about it in this online article."

"Hey!" said Gakuto. "How about we do THAT for our talent show?"

"Hypnotizing someone?" Atsushi clarified.

"Yeah!" said Gakuto. "It's original and we're going to be scored on originality!"

"None of us have ever done it before, though!" said Eiji. "We're also going to have to assume that the person we ask to be our volunteer isn't going to cooperate because he won't want us to win!"

"That's true…" said Gakuto, stroking his chin. "All right, maybe it won't work. Let's try hypnotizing Ootori first. If it works really well then maybe we could use that instead."

"But won't it be pointless because if it works, all of Ootori's nervousness will be gone so we'll use HIS talent?" Itsuki questioned.

"Good point," Gakuto noted. "So maybe we can hypnotize someone… WHILE Ootori plays the piano."

"Ahhh…" said everyone, nodding their heads.

"So what do we need to hypnotize someone?" said Atsushi as they looked up on Wikipedia on how to hypnotize someone.

"Is hypnotizing something we can do in five minutes?" Eiji asked, looking over Atsushi's shoulder.

"We're not focusing on that right now," Atsushi reminded him.

"Oh right," said Eiji.

"So we need something swingable… they say a pocket watch is preferable," Choutarou read. "Does anyone have a pocket watch?"

"Why would any of us have pocket watches?" said Gakuto.

"I don't know…" Choutarou said dejectedly.

Eiji searched around his house and finally located a marshmallow. Yes, out of everything he could have possibly chosen, he picked a marshmallow to tie to a piece of string.

"All right," said Gakuto, sitting down in the computer chair. The other four sat on the floor and Atsushi held the marshmallow on a string in front of Choutarou, waiting for instruction. "It says that something that will pull the patient out of hypnosis is using the phrase 'you are getting sleepy' because it feels Hollywood and farcical for them."

"So what am I SUPPOSED to say?" asked Atsushi.

"Just say to relax and only listen to the sound of your voice," Gakuto said.

"Relax," said Atsushi as he started swinging the marshmallow. "Only listen to the sound of my voice."

"You know, I can't really take this seriously because there's a marshmallow swinging in my face…" Choutarou admitted.

"You're going to have to take it seriously!" said Atsushi.

"I'll just close my eyes," Choutarou suggested as he did just that.

Atsushi sat there for a few seconds and then looked at Eiji.

"Then what's this for?" he asked, gesturing to the marshmallow.

Eiji shrugged. Atsushi was just about to toss the marshmallow, but Eiji decided to eat it instead.

Gakuto continued to read instruction as they went step by step through the hypnotism process.

"And by now, the patient should be willing to do whatever you command them to do," Gakuto read.

"After you wake up and when I snap my fingers, you won't be nervous about performing in front of anyone anymore!" said Atsushi.

Choutarou opened one eye. "That's not what I was nervous about," he whispered.

"Oh," said Atsushi. "Then when I snap my fingers, you won't be nervous about whatever you were nervous about."

"Okay," Choutarou said, closing both eyes again.

"All right, so wake up now!" Atsushi commanded.

Gakuto ran over to see if it worked as Choutarou opened his eyes.

"Well?" said Itsuki. "Did it work?"

"I don't think so," Choutarou said. "To be honest, I don't think I went into a trance at all."

"The site said that the patient will likely say that," Gakuto said.

"I really don't think it worked," Choutarou said.

"Let's test it out," said Eiji eagerly.

"All right!" said Atsushi as he snapped his fingers.

There was no immediate reaction.

"So…" Atsushi said after a bit of a pause. "You read to perform for our team?"

"No," said Choutarou. "I already said it didn't work…"

"Is he supposed to say that?" Atsushi asked Gakuto.

"Maybe it won't work until he's actually in a stressful situation," Gakuto suggested. "I think we should go for it and not think of any back up plan whatsoever and hope that the hypnotism pulls through!"

"I'm all for it!" said Eiji.

"I really don't think that's a good idea…" Choutarou said hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it," said Gakuto. "Once you get into the situation, you won't be nervous at all because we hypnotized you!"

"But I didn't feel anything!" Choutarou said. "I honestly can tell you that I am not hypnotized! There was no focus and I am no different than I was ten minutes ago."

"You're saying that NOW," said Atsushi. "But when the time comes, you won't be able to get on the stage fast enough!"

Choutarou didn't look convinced.

"Trust me," said Gakuto. "I'm your senior, remember? I've had a whole year more experience with life than you have!"

"I guess so…" Choutarou admitted, though he still didn't look entirely convinced.

"Can we go eat?" Itsuki asked.

"Well, we're pretty much done here," Atsushi pointed out.

"Yeah!" said Eiji, standing up. "As captain of Team Doubles, I officially adjourn this meeting!"

Everyone cheered and decided to go to Friendly's together because they wanted to at some point get on a first name basis with all of them.


	11. I Ordered The Funcake

Chapter XI- "I Ordered The Funcake."

Team Hard Workers was taking a break.

"I'm glad we stayed up all night practicing our bit for the talent show and everything…" Mizuki said cautiously. "But don't you think it's important that we get some sleep for the presentation?"

"We still haven't perfected our routine," Shishido said.

"Yes, but rest is important as well," Mizuki pointed out. He looked at Inui. "Am I right?"

"Mizuki is right," Inui said. "But I don't know if now is the time to call it quits. We are very close to perfection."

"I think we should work right up to the actual show," said Kaidou.

"I know what you're saying," Inui said. "You want to make sure our skills are as close to perfection as they can get. However, without proper rest, we will be more prone to mistakes."

Yuuta's stomach growled. "I'm hungry," he stated as if it wasn't obvious with his growling stomach.

"I think we should eat, rest and then we can get back together and continue working early tomorrow morning," Mizuki said. "Make sure everything's set up before the show even starts."

"Well obviously we're doing that," Kaidou said.

"Perhaps Mizuki has a point," said Inui.

"Maybe we could eat, rest and then get together again this afternoon," Shishido suggested. "We could practice until night, go to bed early and then get up early to practice some more."

"Yeah…" said the others, not including Mizuki.

Mizuki was just sitting there with this look that was like: Seriously?

"That's what we're doing then," said Kaidou.

"To reinforce team cohesiveness, we should also eat together," Inui stated, adjusting his glasses.

"What?" Mizuki almost whined while everyone else agreed.

"You're the one that bribed the coaches into putting you on this team, so you'll have to deal with our tendencies to go to the extreme with everything," Inui said.

"Bribed the coaches?" Mizuki repeated, sounding outraged. "How dare you make that insinuation!"

"I was not insinuating it," said Inui. "I observed your actions with my own eyes."

"Why did you want to be on this team so badly?" Yuuta asked innocently. In fact, it was SO innocent that a light shone behind him.

"The coaches put me here," said Mizuki. "I had no say in the matter."

"Whatever," said Shishido. "I'm starving. Let's go eat."

They went to the nearest Friendly's and got the breakfast specials because those are simply delightful and have the cutest names.

Of course, all they wanted to do was talk strategy. So, while they waited for their delightful dishes, Inui turned over the paper placemat and used on of the crayons to show one of his new ideas.

"And I think Kaidou should come around in this direction after Yuuta moves over here," Inui said as he drew the picture with several arrows.

"No, no," said Mizuki. "That would ruin the height order affect we were trying to convey."

"Does that matter?" questioned Shishido.

"If we change it so close to the end then they'll think that the height order was incidental and we'll lose points!" said Mizuki.

"That's right," said Inui. "So Shishido should come around here instead of Kaidou."

"But if Shishido goes over there then that will leave Yuuta hanging," Kaidou said. "Shishido's supposed to be here or else Yuuta's presence will be entirely pointless."

Inui looked at the paper and frowned.

"It's true," Inui said.

"How are we going to finish this up?" he pondered.

"What was wrong with what we discussed before?" Yuuta asked. "You know, when you go here, and Mizuki swings around the back, and then Kaidou and Shishido slide down this way and I stand at the end?"

"It's complicated, but I don't think we have any other choice," Shishido looked uneasy.

Inui shook his head. "It doesn't fit the rhythm of the rest of the performance," he said.

"Rhythm?" Shishido questioned.

"You know," said Inui. "The basic structure that keeps the whole thing together. If the rhythm is interrupted, there will be chaos and no one will know what we're doing."

"'I'll take your word for it," Shishido said but he still looked skeptical.

"Remember I already explained that problem?" Inui said. "That's why we had to brainstorm other ways to end it."

"I just don't think it'll be that huge of an issue if we kept it the same," Shishido shrugged.

"Well, it will be," Inui said.

"What if instead of ending in height order, we ended in a sort of like a pyramid?" Mizuki tried. "You know, tallest person in the middle and shortest people on the outside."

"What would that prove?" Kaidou said.

"Well, that way we'll be able to get away with moving Yuuta around this way, and Kaidou would be able to go there…" Mizuki said, picking up the blue crayon and scrawling next to Inui's hectic marks.

The others considered Mizuki's point.

"That sounds good," Shishido admitted.

"That way we'd still stay in rhythm with the rest of the performance and our continuity will be consistent because we'll still have some basis on height," Inui observed.

"I swear, if we don't make it within the top three, then I will be quite angry," said Mizuki.

"Top three?" demanded the others.

"…Or… not?" Mizuki looked confused.

"We are going to come in first," said Shishido. "Even if we don't have the best talent, we will have the best presentation."

"I see," Mizuki said, eyeing the paper with the plans on it. "I just had a thought."

"Oh?" said the others.

"What if we took me right out of the performance?" he tried. "I'm not very good at it anyway, and I can just be backstage setting things up. THAT way you guys can avoid more mistakes and also Yuuta will be able to stand here instead of all the way over here half the time."

"But what will happen when Kaidou has to go here?" Shishido pointed out.

"Inui can fill in," Mizuki said. "At this point, he's just waiting around anyway."

"You're just trying to get out of practicing more," Kaidou accused.

"That may be so," said Mizuki. "But if you consider my idea, you'll see it's really the best for the team and the performance."

"Again, I believe Mizuki may be correct," Inui said.

"You see," said Mizuki. "You are all so hard working and you go headstrong towards the first option without considering every one of the possibilities. Perhaps that is why the coaches decided to put me on this team! Just to balance out the rest of you."

Inui raised an eyebrow at the notion that Mizuki was more analytical than he. But he decided not to argue with it because he's Inui, and as long as he knows he's the smartest person in the world, he doesn't care of Mizuki lives on in a disillusioned world.

"WHEN are we going to get our food?" demanded Shishido after a long pause. The whole table had been awkward about Mizuki's statement, partially because they knew his point was true and just didn't want to admit it.

"It HAS been a while since we ordered," Yuuta agreed, glancing at his watch.

Just then, the waitress came over with a tray covered in food. (On separate plates, of course.)

"All right, who ordered the Smiley Face Pancakes?" asked the waitress.

"I ordered the Funcake," said Kaidou.

"I had the Smiley Face Pancakes," Inui raised his hand.

The waitress gave Kaidou his Funcake and Inui his Smiley Face Pancakes. Then he passed out the rest of the meals that had equally silly names, along with the drinks that were insane colors and in ridiculous cups with covers and those absurd straws that change color depending on if they are warm or cold.

"I have confidence in our future success," Mizuki raised his cup.

"Here, here!" cheered the rest of the hard working team.

One must wonder how long this optimism will last with THIS group.


	12. Can Anyone Wiggle Their Ears?

Chapter XII- "Can Anyone Wiggle Their Ears?"

"NO ONE has a unique talent?" Bane was practically punching himself in the head as they were all sitting around trying to brainstorm for the talent show.

"Well, that's kind of unfair to say," said Taka. "I'm sure all of us have talents. We just either can't think of them or can't do them in five minutes or less."

"What?" said Bane.

"For example," said Taka. "I think that cooking is one of my talents. But I definitely couldn't cook anything both impressive and edible in only five minutes."

"Can't we use our massive and collectively unrivaled height in order to do something that only we could be able to do?" Bane pondered. "If we do something that relates to our height, I bet we would get extra props because we'd be somehow relating to the basis of our team. And that's good."

"Why don't we work on thinking of anything in particular first before we try to think of something that relates to our height?" suggested Sanada, still looking a little resentful that Bane was elected captain when Sanada knew he deserved it so much more.

In unison, they all let out a heavy sigh and began to stroke their chins where their beards WOULD be if they were old enough. Because, let's face. No one has beards in middle school, except for maybe the previous captain of Seigaku. He had a ridiculous beard. But he was obviously on steroids to make him better at tennis or something because that's just not normal.

"Can anyone wiggle their ears?" Taka suggested.

"I can," said Renji like he was proud of it. Cause you know people who can wiggle their ears are always proud of it as if that makes them awesome or something. Which it does.

"Are you serious?" said Bane. "If we go up there and have Renji wiggle his ears as our talent then we'll definitely get last place. Do you guys WANT that?"

"You know, you could be a little more supportive instead of just shooting down everything we say," Taka said, looking ashamed.

"Um…" Bane said nervously. "How about singing? Can anyone here sing?"

The others looked at him skeptically, and Bane looked at those in his presence and realized his question was kind of ludicrous. Because he realized how ludicrous his question was, he decided to move on and not even bother to ask if any of them could dance.

They struck animated poses as they lied around and continued to think.

"Hey, where's Kabaji anyway?" said Sanada randomly.

The other three looked around and realized that Kabaji was not present.

"Well that's peculiar," said Bane. "Where is he? He should be here helping us brainstorm! No wonder we haven't come up with anything! We've only had the working of FOUR brains instead of FIVE!"

"Whatever, if he wants to bail on us then we'll just tell the coaches he had nothing to do with our presentation," Renji said. "That way, he won't get any credit for our work."

"The way this is going, I don't think he'd WANT any credit for what we come up with…" Taka said morbidly.

"Oh wait a second…" said Bane. "I remember now. I sent Kabaji out to get us some lunch."

The others glared at him.

"Thanks a lot for telling us that AFTER we cursed him," said Sanada.

"I hope he comes back with an idea," said Renji. "Because even if it's not within our abilities, the best we can do is hope we go last and then copy other groups so they lose points for originality and drag someone down with us."

"That's a slightly sadistic approach," Taka said.

"It's the best we can do at this point," said Renji with a shrug.

"You know what?" said Sanada, standing up. "Everyone's acting like we've already lost this! Don't you want to go to that exclusive tennis camp? We have to put our heads together and think of something unique and interesting that we can show off to the coaches!"

"Hey, I'M the captain!" said Bane, standing up dramatically as well. "I'LL do all the inspirational speeches around here!"

"They only chose you as captain because they figured you would make the WORST captain," Renji informed Bane, unable to keep the horrible secret within him anymore.

"Psht," said Bane.

Renji didn't care of Bane believed him. He only cared if the secret was out so it wouldn't have to fester within him anymore.

"You know, that sure explains a lot…" said Sanada thoughtfully.

"Oh yeah?" said Bane. "Like what?"

"Like how you're the captain instead of someone competent," Sanada answered ruthlessly.

Bane looked awfully skeptical, but if he hadn't seen it at that point, he wasn't EVER going to see it so he just decided to ignore everyone who tried to talk to him.

"What if…" Taka started, trying to get back on track with productive thinking. "What if…we showed off our most amazing tennis moves?"

The others considered this.

"No," Renji said finally. "There is a seventy percent chance that Team Genius will do that. And in that case, they will beat us easily."

"What if we did a skit?" asked Bane.

"A skit?" the others repeated.

"Yeah," said Bane. "Like… for example, last night I had this really weird dream. I was hanging out with this beautiful red haired woman, and then she suddenly turned into a gargoyle and I was really scared. But then Jesus came and everything was okay."

Long pause inserted here.

"If we end up doing that, I call being Jesus…" Bane added.

"We are NOT doing that," said Sanada.

"Why not?" demanded Bane. "I mean, what are the chances that any of the other groups would be doing a skit, let alone a skit about Jesus?"

"That skit is not about Jesus," Sanada said. "It's about your strange cracked out dream that includes Jesus as a gimmick and a footnote. You can't even talk about Jesus without offending people."

Bane crossed his arms. "I'm just trying to think of an idea," he said, looking dejected.

"Besides, you're too tall to be Jesus," Renji decided.

"What?" said Bane. "How do YOU know how tall Jesus was?"

"I don't," said Renji. "But I just think you would be too tall to be him."

"Why are we STILL talking about this?" said Sanada with a sigh.

"I'm hungry," said Taka.

Almost on cue, the door opened and Kabaji walked in. If you're thinking: "WTF DOOR?" then I'll have you know that they have been inside someone's house this entire time and not standing outside.

"Kabaji, did you get lunch for us?" said Bane, standing up immediately.

"Usu," said Kabaji as he whipped out a paper bag from behind his back.

He passed out all the sandwiches and they were all happy. You have to assume that this team is going to get hungry faster than any of the other teams because they are simply larger than the rest of them and therefore need more sustenance in order to keep their metabolisms happy. For a team like Team WTF in which everyone is pretty much midget sized, one could assume they could go DAYS without eating if they had a hearty meal prior to their fasting! But that's just outrageous.

ANYWAY, enough with the cracks about their tallness and onwards.

Kabaji suddenly got the hiccups. Everyone laughed at him because instead of making the standard hiccup sound, he said 'usu' every time he hiccupped. They laughed not because they found his suffering humorous, but just because that's absolutely ridiculous and doesn't happen in real life. And it also just so happens to be completely irrelevant so ONCE AGAIN, we must force ourselves to move on.

As they munched on their sandwiches to fill their bellies, they continued to ponder about what they would use for their talent show. The day was already half over, and in less than twenty-four hour's time, they would have to present something or other to the coaches. As you have seen, they have unfortunately not quite come to a conclusion quite yet.

But all that was about to change.

"I wish we would just think of something!" Taka exclaimed as he crumpled up the wrapper his sandwich came in and threw it in the pile with the other spherical wrappers since everyone does that whence they finish their meals that come up with crumple-able wrappers.

"Me too!" agreed the rest.

"Kabaji, you weren't here early, but we were brainstorming our various talents," Bane said. "Do you have any random talents that we could possibly use for our talent show?"

Kabaji looked thoughtful (as thoughtful as KABAJI can look) and then nodded.

"Usu," he said, and it surprised everyone. Just kidding.

"Oh really?" said Renji. "What is your random talent?"

Kabaji picked up three of the round wrappers and threw them in the air. He started to juggle them.

He did it successfully about three times and then he dropped them.

"Juggling!" said Bane. "Perfect! Can anyone else do it?"

Unfortunately, no one else could.

"Well that's okay," said Bane, rubbing his hands together diabolically. "The coaches did say that we could have as many people as we wanted participating. Kabaji can go up and juggle and that will be our talent!"

"But he's not very good at it," Sanada pointed out.

"With PRACTICE, he will do great!" said Bane. "And I bet if we used scarves or tissues, it would be even easier."

"ANYONE can juggle something that takes that much time to float to the floor," Renji reminded him.

"True…" Bane admitted. "Then he'll have to work extra hard! Got it, Kabaji? You have to perfect your juggling skills! I'll get some eggs!"

With that, Bane darted out of the room. I guess we can assume they were all at Bane's house.

"I don't know if this is such a great idea," said Renji.

"Yeah, it'll make a mess," Taka agreed.

"No, I mean to rely on this one talent to pull us through the whole show," Renji explained. "Kabaji having vague juggling talent isn't exactly going to WOW the coaches."

"Then let's just hope that everyone else has something as stupid as us," said Sanada with a sigh.


	13. Where's the Climax?

Chapter XIII- "Where's the Climax?"

"This is going to be the BEST one EVER!" Horio exclaimed.

Team WTF had decided upon a human pyramid. With the exception of Team Tall, they were the only team that had the advantage that all their members were basically the same height.

At first they were all going to stand on each other's shoulders and be a STANDING UP pyramid, but they quickly realized that something like that is only for overachievers.

So, instead, they did the good ol' pyramid on the knees. Of course, it wasn't even really a pyramid since there were only five of them, but they were hoping that their presentation would be so amazing that they would create the optical illusion that there was a person standing on the very top.

"But what do after we make the pyramid?" Dan asked. He was on the bottom in the middle, with Kachirou and Katsuo on either side of him. Horio and Ryoma had decided they were the most important so they deserved to go on the top. Well, after all, Ryoma IS the Prince of Tennis, and Horio has those two years of tennis experience. The others agreed as well, since they possessed neither of those two attributes.

"After?" Katsuo questioned. "We'd be done, wouldn't we?"

"So we're just going to assemble the pyramid and then we'll be done?" Dan clarified.

"…As opposed to what?" Horio looked skeptical.

"I don't know," said Dan. "Somehow it just seems anticlimactic. Especially since there's no one at the tip of the pyramid."

"It's true," said Ryoma.

"What do we do then?" the Freshmen Trio practically screamed.

"Maybe…" Ryoma considered the problem very seriously. After all, if this was just a ridiculous competition that the coaches were forcing them to do, he probably wouldn't care. But there was a tennis camp on the line, so he was going to strive to be all that he could be AS IF HE WAS IN THE ARMY but he's not.

"Maybe…?" the other four hung on his every word.

"We have to change the presentation," said Ryoma.

"How?" they asked. (Have you ever noticed that whenever there's a group of freshmen, they suddenly have this mind meld and can just say everything at the same time no matter what it is or how long it is? It's like they all have SYNCHRO!)

"We could get a milk crate to put in Dan's place, and then Dan can take my place," Ryoma began. "And then I can stand on the top and do something awesome."

There was a bit of hesitation.

"Like?" the freshmen asked. That was their only concern. They weren't worried about glorifying Ryoma since they do that every day of their lives anyway that they probably would have preferred it this way as opposed to the other.

"I don't know," Ryoma said. "I need some more time to think."

"Do you know any magic tricks?" tried Kachirou.

Ryoma raised an eyebrow in a way of saying: "Do I look like the Prince of Magic to you?"

"Okay, so not magic!" Horio said. "What instead?"

"Maybe I could do something…tennis related…" Ryoma said as if the thought of doing something tennis related was a revolutionary idea.

"What could you possibly do that was tennis related while standing on our backs?" questioned Kachirou.

Then Ryoma gave him a look that said: "I AM THE PRINCE OF TENNIS. WHEN IT COMES TO TENNIS, I DO WHAT I WANT."

"All right, something tennis related then," Horio agreed. "But…what?"

"You know, if you knew acrobatic tennis, then you would be able to flip off the pyramid and land in a dramatic pose!" said Katsuo. "Actually, now that I think about it, if you just knew acrobatics in general then you could do that."

"Well, I'm sure that we can think of something that's in my broad realm of possibilities," Ryoma assured them.

"Maybe you could put a ramp on either side of the pyramid and jump over us on a motorcycle!" Dan said excitedly.

He got mixed responses with that notion. Among them being the others smacking him for putting their lives in danger, and then Ryoma reminding him that that has nothing to do with tennis.

"And besides, where would we even find a ramp to suit our needs?" said Dan sadly.

"We're not even considering that!" said Horio.

"I can't ride a motorcycle anyway," said Ryoma.

"AND it's too dangerous!" Horio practically screamed.

"We WOULD get points for originality…" Dan said.

"BUT IT'S DANGEROUS!" Horio yelled.

"AND I can't ride a motorcycle, AND we don't have a ramp," Ryoma added.

"Well, putting all that stuff aside, it WOULD have been cool," Dan decided.

"Anyway, let's get back to brainstorming the stuff that's relevant, like what sort of tennis related action Ryoma is going to perform once he gets to the top of the pyramid," Horio suggested, trying to get off the subject of motorcycles flying near his head.

After a moment of brainstorming, no one really came up with anything. They didn't want Ryoma to just get up there and do one of his tennis moves because everyone had already seen them before. Ryoma mentioned something about having a new move he was going to show to the world soon, but he wanted to show it to the world in a tennis match and would prefer not to give it away to all his opponents during a talent show.

"What if we played music, and you got up there and danced?" said Kachirou.

"Okay, A," Ryoma started. "No. B, do you really think I'll be able to dance while standing on top of you guys and C, do you really WANT me to be dancing on top of you guys? Then, of course, D, I am doing something tennis related because tennis is…you know, just the best."

"Amen to that," said the others.

But then they realized they still didn't have any ideas.

"You know, this is getting to be really boring!" said Katsuo. "We thought up the idea for the pyramid so fast! Why can't we think up anything else?"

"We really just have to think instead of making pointless suggestions!" Kachirou agreed.

"We should have a team huddle!" Horio announced.

"Yeah!" said Dan. "That'll help us think!"

The four ran in and formed a huddle, leaving a little spot for Ryoma who was pretty much too cool for them.

"I'll be over here," Ryoma said.

"All right, but you're going to have to take whatever we come up with for an idea and do it!" Horio whined.

"Um…no, probably not," Ryoma responded, but Horio didn't care enough to listen and was, instead, engrossed with the other members of Team WTF.

Ryoma put his hands in his pockets and looked around absentmindedly, waiting for them to finish.

It went on for a little while to the point in which Ryoma fingered they had all fallen asleep in that position and he was JUST about to go over and make sure they were still awake when they stood up and said BREAK!

"Did you guys think of something?" Ryoma asked.

"MAYBE," said Horio. "But you haven't been being a team player so I don't know if we're going to tell you!"

"Well if you don't tell me then I'm not going to be able to do it," Ryoma pointed out. "And then it'll be your fault if we don't get a good score because our talent is anti-climactic."

"All right, fine," said Horio. "What exactly do we need to make this work, Dan?"

Dan looked at his notebook that he carries around because he wishes he was Inui.

"We need a trampoline, a tennis racket and three tennis balls!" Dan announced.

"Hm…" said Kachirou. "I'm starting to see a flaw in this plan."

"Yeah…" agreed Katsuo. "Getting the racket and the balls will be pretty easy, but where are we going to find a trampoline?"

"No problem!" said Horio. "Leave that to me! My younger sister has two years gymnastics experience, so my parents got her a trampoline so she could practice more!"

"I didn't know you had a sister," said Kachirou.

"We don't talk about her much," Horio shrugged.

"You guys still haven't told me what the plan is," Ryoma reminded them.

"All right, so we'll be in our pyramid form," Dan explained. "With the trampoline behind us."

"We'll try to jazz up the formation a bit so it's not ENTIRELY your responsibility to make it interesting!" Katsuo reported.

"And then you come running up and bounce off the trampoline," Dan continued as if there hadn't been an interrupted. "Going over us and landing in front of us with your racket and tennis ball. You hit the tennis ball away, and then me and Horio will each through another ball to you at the same time and then you hit those too!"

There was a pause as Ryoma waited for Dan to continue.

"Wait, that's it?" he said.

"Um…yeah," Dan said, not feeling so confident anymore.

"Where's the climax?" Ryoma asked.

"Well, we figured everyone will be awed when you come out of nowhere and LEAP over us!" said Horio.

"I guess," said Ryoma. "So if that's the climax, what's the point of me doing tennis moves after I do it?"

"Because it's tennis," Kachirou answered. "Basically everything should have SOMETHING to do with tennis."

"Point taken…" Ryoma agreed.

"All we have to do now is practice it so you don't crash into us and ruin everything," said Katsuo.

And so, Team WTF went to Horio's house and collected his forgotten sister's trampoline and brought it to a place where they could practice. Hopefully no one breaks their necks. Or…NOT hopefully, depending on how much you like the people on Team WTF.

**----**

**PS! For those folks who enjoyed "REMOTE" we'll have you know that a sequel is on the way by popular demand. LOLZ! So look out for "REMOTE 2: RETURN" on Monday. It'll be a hoot and a holler! LOLZX2!!!!11one**


	14. That's What She Said!

Chapter XIV- "That's What She Said!"

Team Six, aka Team 2nd Years, were pretty confident with the routine they had decided upon. They didn't know if they would win because they weren't disillusioned, but at least they would place high on the list. They knew the hard truth; there were plenty of other teams who were better than them and more passionate than them.

Still, they DID want to go to the tennis camp.

So, instead of dispersing after finishing with their practicing, they decided to go out and make themselves PURPLETASTIC!

Why, you ask? Have you already forgotten that each team was assigned a color, and as it happens, THIS particular team was assigned purple? Have you? Well, don't fret. If you didn't know before, you know now.

So they went to the mall. And then they went to Sears or something equally Sears-ish as that.

But not David. He had to continue practicing. So he went home to practice, and they promised to pick something up for him.

"I think it would be best to match completely," Hiyoshi decided.

"No way, that's too boring," Momo said immediately. "We should get stuff that's the same… but slightly different."

"What do you mean by that?" said Hiyoshi, crossing his arms. He was bordering on the edge of pulling the, "I'M CAPTAIN AND WHAT I SAY GOES!" card, but he figured he should at least hear Momo out just in case he had a good idea.

"Well just so we don't look like drones," Momo said. "We should get to pick something out on our own…like black pants and a purple top."

"I think I like that idea better," Kamio admitted.

"Fine," said Hiyoshi since he wasn't about to admit that he liked that idea better anyway.

"The hardest part of this little adventure will be finding something purple in the first place, though I still don't know why it had to be US who got purple, since that is a very annoying color…" Shinji complained but everyone ignored him because they didn't need the negativity.

So they went to the men's section. Then they realized they were not men, so they went to the BOYS section! Haw haw haw!

"I call the polo with a popped collar!" Momo practically pushed everyone out of the way to dive on top of said item.

The others glared at him because they had been thinking the same thing but had not been as invasive and enthusiastic about literally leaping upon the purple polo option.

"Hey, you know what we should also do?" Momo said as he caressed his purple shirt. "We should use a sharpie to write our names on the back and have numbers too… and write '_2nd Years Rock_' on the front!"

Everyone wanted to tell Momo to calm down before his overexcitement caused him to develop a seizure. But they also liked his idea.

"Hey, here's some hoodies," Kamio noted as he went to another rack. "I call the hoodie of there's a purple one!"

"You can't CALL things," Hiyoshi rolled his eyes.

"Momo got to call the polo," Kamio pointed out.

"Fine," said Hiyoshi as he discovered a purple t-shirt lying on a table. The words on the front said; "My other clothes are dirty."

This made him chuckle warmly to himself because the shirt was so very clever. He quickly covered up his chuckling, however, because he had a reputation to uphold and if someone caught him chuckling then they might think he had a personality or something! And Hiyoshi couldn't have THAT, now could he?

So, to keep up with the theme of being the same but different, Shinji found a long sleeved shirt that happened to be purple. Then they searched around for something for David, and then they found some purple overalls and they felt so evil and decided to get those for him.

So then they went to Jo-Ann Fabrics to get some fabric markers for going all out on their new articles of clothing. While they were getting the fabric marker, they discovered something that made them even more excited; bandanas of different colors! And thankfully there were purple ones. Of course they bought those too.

Then they went back to Hiyoshi's house. You can assume they inconvenienced several parents since they all live in different towns, but I guess they were beyond caring at that point. They were on a mission. And that mission was the make themselves very, very purple.

"Since I'm captain, my number should be 1," Hiyoshi decided.

"Fine," said Momo because he could see the logic in that. "It doesn't really matter. David can be 2, I'll be 3."

"And I'll be 5, and you can be 4," Kamio suggested, pointing at Shinji.

"Okay," Shinji shrugged.

They scrawled their names and numbers on the back of their purple clothing as if they were jerseys. And, on the fronts, they went a little crazy and decorated them with various sayings stating out fantastic people who were born in their year were.

"We should have nicknames…" Momo said thoughtfully.

"I think that might be going a little overboard," said Kamio.

"I think we're past the point of going overboard," Shinji gestured toward all the items they had just purchased.

"Point taken," Kamio nodded. "But still, I don't want nicknames."

"You just don't want a nickname because you're emo," said Momo, but it was in his head.

"What about these bandanas?" Hiyoshi asked, picking up one of the purple bandanas.

"Again," Momo said. "We all have to wear them, but however we want. In fact, I think we should all do something different with them!"

"Naturally," Hiyoshi nodded. "I'll tie mine on my head like this."

And so Hiyoshi tied the bandana on his head like a ninja.

"Hey, no fair!" said Kamio. "That's the best way."

"Well, I'm the captain," Hiyoshi reasoned.

"I'm going to tie mine on my arm," Momo decided as he modeled the bandana on his arm.

"We're going to look like we're in a gang," Shinji said as he put the bandana on his head like Cinderella. No one told him it looked silly because they enjoyed laughing at him.

"Well, we'll just be the purple Team 2nd Years Gang!" Momo announced.

Just then, the door opened and David walked in.

"Hey David!" they all cheered since they were excited to see his reaction to what they had purchased for him. They ambushed him before he could say anything stupid and explained what he had to do and how he had to wear the ridiculous purple overalls.

Unfortunately for them, David didn't really seem to mind the fact that he had to wear purple overalls. In fact, the only thing he seemed miffed about was the fact that they had gone shopping and had all this great fun without him!

David folded up the overalls and stashed the bandana in a bag that he would take home with him and then wear for the next day when the craziness would finally ensue.

"Did you work on the routine?" Momo asked.

"Did I?" David repeated, sounding flabbergasted that they would even ask something like that. "Does an active galactic nucleus have superluminal jets?"

They all stared at him.

"I swear, if this is one of your puns…" Momo started.

"No, it's not!" said David. "In short, yes."

"But you just said it wasn't," Shinji pointed out.

"No, I meant yes as in YES I worked on the routine," David said. "AND active galactic nuclei have superluminal jets. But no to the other thing about that being a pun. Though I guess it COULD be a pun…"

"How?" asked Hiyoshi with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, if it turned out that active galactic nuclei DIDN'T have superluminal jets!" David exclaimed as he slapped his knee and had a grand old time with laughing at his own lame joke.

"All right, you know what?" said Kamio. "If we end up losing because our talent is horrible, at least we'll still look the most fabulous out of everyone."

"Don't use the word 'fabulous,'" said Momo, looking very serious.

"I was being funny," said Kamio in annoyed tone.

"It wasn't very funny," Momo informed him.

"So anyway," said Hiyoshi. "I know everyone is hyped up about our great outfits, but since I am actually concerned about the talent as well, I want to see what David has come up with."

"Yeah, show us," Shinji practically ordered.

"Not a chance!" David said immediately. "You'll all have to wait until tomorrow just like everyone else!"

"But we're your team," Momo said. "We want to be able to have a say in what's going on."

"If you're going to put all the pressure on me to do an awesome job then you have to also put all your confidence in me to do an awesome job," said David, putting a hand over his heart and looking all noble.

"Are you ALWAYS this annoying?" Momo asked.

"No," said David. "Usually I'm much more! I haven't made a single pun yet, but I can change that! Someone say something that can be misconstrued as a sexual innuendo, and THEN you'll see my true skills!"

"Yeah right," said Hiyoshi.

"That's what she said!" said David as he burst out laughing.

Hiyoshi slapped his forehead.

"You set yourself up for that one," Momo said to Hiyoshi.

David pointed at Momo. "That's what she said!" he exclaimed.

"What?" said Momo. "That wasn't a good one."

David was almost doubled since he was laughing so hard. "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" he practically screamed.

"This is pointless," said Kamio.

"That's what she—" David started, but everyone punched him at the same time to shut him up.


	15. And Then He Kills Me First!

Chapter XV- "And Then He Kills Me First!"

"Any ideas yet?" Saeki asked his Team 3rd Years group of Ryou, Oishi, Yanagisawa and Jirou.

"No…" they droned, shaking their heads.

"Can anyone juggle?" tried Jirou. "Maybe we could juggle!"

"Can YOU juggle?" Oishi asked.

"No," said Jirou.

"Well, I can't," Oishi said.

The other three said that they couldn't juggle either.

"What about if we danced?" Jirou said as he stood up and looked all excited about his new idea. "We could get up there and knock everyone over with amazement at our dancing skills!"

"Jirou, would you be willing to do that by yourself?" Saeki asked. "Because I won't speak for everyone else, but I would rather not do something as socially humiliating as dancing in front of our peers and coaches unless we have absolutely no other choice."

"He speaks for all of us," Ryou agreed.

"Well, I wouldn't want to do it alone," Jirou sat back down. In fact, he lied down. "Wake me up if we think of anything."

"No, stay awake," Yanagisawa practically ordered. "You're really the only one coming up with ideas. Maybe you'll eventually think of something not stupid."

"Okay fine," said Jirou, sitting up again but still looking like he was going to fall asleep at any given moment.

"You know…" said Ryou after a bit of a lull in the brainstorming session. "In elementary school, Atsushi and I were in a talent show and we choreographed a fight scene. We came in second place."

They all stared at him skeptically.

"It was pretty cool," Ryou said.

"What, with swords and stuff?" Oishi clarified.

"They were cardboard, but yeah, basically," Ryou shrugged.

"You know what would be funny?" Jirou said. "If we PRETEND like we're going to do a certain talent, like juggling or something, and then we PRETEND to get in a fight, and then we all whip out swords and kill each other after an intense PRETEND fight sequence."

No one really knew how to react to that at first.

"Jirou, that is the BEST idea I have ever heard!" Saeki said finally.

"Yay!" cheered Jirou after everyone else had agreed.

"Because at first, it'll startle everyone, and then they're realize that we planned it and get awed by our amazing acting ability!" Yanagisawa said excitedly.

"Yes, 3rd Years OWN!" said Jirou.

They all put their hands in the middle of a circle and jumped up into the air like the Power Rangers.

"Okay, so what should our fake talent be?" Ryou asked.

"Well," Saeki rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe Jirou can come out and pretend like he's going to juggle…"

"I can't juggle though," said Jirou.

"Exactly," said Saeki. "You'll come out and fail, and then we'll come out and demand to know why you TOLD us you can juggle…"

"And then I'll whip out a sword…" Jirou continued.

"And then he kills me first!" Oishi said.

"Why?" said Saeki.

"To imply to everyone that he's serious," Oishi said. "Then you guys can all whip out swords and avenge me."

"You just want to be avenged, that's all," said Yanagisawa.

"Think about it logically," said Oishi. "If Jirou was coming at you with a sword, would you think he was going to stab you?"

"Well, logically, Jirou wouldn't HAVE a sword in the first place," Saeki said.

"But I think that sounds like a good idea," said Ryou. "Because not only will it be a powerful image, but it'll be one less person we have to choreograph."

"Okay," the others agreed.

"Who is going to win in the end?" Saeki questioned.

"I think the three of us should overwhelm Jirou and then strike a dramatic pose," said Yanagisawa. "Like Charlie's Angels, except much more manly."

"It is IMPOSSIBLE to make Charlie's Angels manly," said Ryou with a glare.

"I was just trying to use an image!" said Yanagisawa.

"And it worked," said Ryou. "Thanks a lot."

"How about…Three Musketeers?" Saeki tried. "They're pretty manly."

"Yeah, that's much manlier," said Ryou.

"But I want to win…" said Jirou.

"But if you're against the Three Musketeers, there's no way you can win," Yanagisawa pointed out.

"You guys aren't ACTUALLY the Three Musketeers," said Jirou.

"Maybe we SHOULD be…" said Yanagisawa.

"We could buy some Three Musketeers costumes," Saeki suggested.

"But then it'll be obvious right from the beginning that it's not serious!" said Jirou.

"It's obvious right from the part where you kill Oishi," Ryou said.

"Maybe you guys could stay off stage, and it can be only me and Jirou who get into the argument," said Oishi. "And once he kills me is when you guys come out in your Three Musketeers costumes."

"An argument between Jirou and Oishi…" said Saeki slowly. "Now THAT is something that I don't think would escalate to murder."

"We can make it dramatic enough!" said Jirou, looking like he was offended.

"Okay, okay," said Ryou. "Let's go through this. Jirou comes out, fails at juggling, then Oishi comes out and yells at him for ruining our chances at doing going to the tennis camp. Then Jirou kills Oishi…"

"Can we swordfight a bit before he kills me?" Oishi asked. "So I don't just DIE and then my part is over?"

"Why would you have a sword?" Saeki questioned.

"Why would JIROU have a sword?" Oishi replied.

"How about I'm juggling swords?" Jirou suggested.

"Aha…" said everyone.

"Okay, so you guys swordfight a bit too…" Ryou revised. "THEN Jirou kills you. Then the three of us jump out dressed as the Three Musketeers and kill Jirou in the end."

"But I want to win!" Jirou complained.

"You can't beat the Three Musketeers," said Yanagisawa. "Besides, you're the bad guy and the bad guy can't win."

"Why am _I _the bad guy?" Jirou demanded.

"Because you killed Oishi!" the three yelled.

"Oh yeah," said Jirou.

"Question…" Oishi said. "Where are we going to get these swords and costumes we keep talking about?"

They all looked at each other.

"Too the mall!" they exclaimed as they jumped up in the air and froze there and turned into a drawing with flower petals blowing by.

Then they unfroze and went to the mall.

Luckily, there was a seasonal store in the mall. And even MORE luckily, it was like… October. Which meant it was all set up for Halloween! And even more luckily than the other two things, there were Three Musketeer costumes at reasonable prices!

"Hang on," said Saeki as they were standing in line to purchase the costumes and the fake swords for Jirou's juggling. "Didn't the teachers say that we had to be wearing our team color at all times?"

"Oh yeah…" the other people on the team looked dejected.

"What's our team color again?" Ryou asked, looking at the costumes in hope that it would have some of the color on it.

"Green," said Saeki.

"Oh…" Ryou looked sad.

They were just about to turn around and put the costumes back, when Jirou grabbed their arms. (Yes, he somehow managed to grab EVERYONE!)

"We could paint our faces!" Jirou said excitedly.

"YEAH!" everyone cheered as they ran and got green face paint too.

"We're going to look pretty silly," said Oishi as they walked out of the Halloween store. "But at least Jirou and I don't have paint our faces."

"What? Why?" asked Ryou.

"Because we can just wear green t-shirts," said Oishi with a shrug.

"You guys should still paint your faces so it doesn't look as random and out of place when the three of us come out," Ryou reasoned.

"I wanted to paint my face anyway!" said Jirou. "And you'd just look funny if you were the only one without a painted face, Oishi."

"Oh fine," said Oishi. "It won't be that bad. It could be like war paint."

"We will have the best talent and presentation ever," said Yanagisawa.

"Not to mention the fact that it is so outrageously original," Saeki said. "I'm willing to bet that no one has anything like ours at all."

"Well, should we start practicing?" Jirou asked.

"Since everything else is all set, we might as well," Ryou shrugged.

They all went to a field or something and practiced out of costume. They figured they'd save the costumes for when the actual presentation came just so they didn't risk ruining them.

"And then I LUNGE forward and kill Saeki!" Jirou announced as he made a jab in Saeki's direction, but Saeki knocked his sword aside.

"No, Jirou," said Saeki. "The Three Musketeers have to win."

"Can't I kill at least one of you?" Jirou asked.

"No," said Ryou. "Isn't killing Oishi enough?"

"Can I wound one of you?" Jirou pleaded.

Saeki looked at Ryou and Yanagisawa who shrugged. "Okay, you can wound one of us," Saeki said.

"Can I cut someone's arm off?" Jirou asked, his eyes filling with sunshine and happiness.

"No," Saeki said.

"Aw," said Jirou.

"What's the last thing we say after we kill Jirou?" Ryou asked Saeki.

"Well…" Saeki said. "You two both say, 'all for one' and then I'll come in between you and point my sword to the sky and say, 'and one for all!'"

"Why do you get to say 'and one for all'?" Yanagisawa asked.

"Because I'm the captain," Saeki reminded him.

"Oh yeah," said Yanagisawa.

"If we perfect this, I think we'll win," Oishi said.

"We will definitely win!" said Jirou.

With that, they decided it was time to perfect it.


	16. Does It Have to be Expensive China?

Chapter XVI- "Does it Have to be Expensive China?"

Team Genius was all sitting around doing literally absolutely nothing. As it would have it, they hadn't done a single thing all day. The only reason they were actually all in the same room in the first place was because Kirihara has called them about a half an hour ago and complained that none of them showed up for his earlier meeting time.

So they all showed up for the SECOND meeting time. Mostly because they didn't want to have to listen to Kirihara complain again if they didn't come.

"Anyone get any ideas?" Kirihara asked.

"What?" the four of them said at the same time, looking at him and appearing confused.

"We're thinking of ideas for the talent show…" Kirihara reminded them.

"Oh right," they nodded and then went back to doing nothing.

"Does NO ONE care about this competition?" Kirihara stood up and looked angry.

"I care a little bit," Sengoku said with a mighty stretch.

"I don't," Fuji said plainly.

"I don't really think the reward justifies the humiliation we'll have to go through," Oshitari reported.

"Whatever," said Marui.

"It's a tennis camp!" said Kirihara. "What more inspiration do you need than that? At this rate, we're not going to win!"

The other four shrugged.

"Come on, we have to think up an idea," Kirihara slumped into his chair.

"I don't see why we can't just use Fuji's idea," said Sengoku.

"No way!" said Kirihara. "That was completely stupid."

Fuji sat up straight and shot a glare at Kirihara.

"Come on!" said Kirihara. "You can't seriously want to do that for a talent show! All you'll be doing is pulling the table cloth out and all the stuff will stay in the same place…"

"You never know," said Fuji. "Have you ever seen me do it? I'm really very good at it."

"I'm sure, but there's no way it'll get us first place, or even seventh place," Kirihara said. He let out a heavy sigh. "You know, I thought it would be cool to be on Team Genius, but it really just sucks."

"Well, hate to break it to you, but you sort of come by this attitude when you're better than everyone else and you don't really have to work at anything to stay there," Oshitari said as if he was the most bored person on the planet.

Kirihara thought for a moment as the other geniuses agreed.

"I know," he said. "How about we decide who, among the five of us, is the best genius?"

None of them answered at first. Then, all at the same time, all four chuckled warmly and said, "Well that's no contest. It's me of course."

Then came the glaring.

They all glared at each other.

Some say that's how the axis of the Earth got tilted.

Me? I happen to agree.

"Okay…" Kirihara said slowly. "I think we should do various competitions that relate to tennis in order to decide who is the best."

"That is the first good idea you have come up with all day," said Fuji.

"In addition, I think we should also test our skills outside tennis since being a genius means more than just being good at tennis," Kirihara continued.

"Agreed," Oshitari said.

"In fact, I think the ability to think up great ideas comes along with being a genius as well," Kirihara said.

"That sounds about right," Marui said.

"So I think we should find out who is the smartest and most resourceful too…" Kirihara said.

"Let the games begin," said Sengoku.

"All right, so our first task to figure out who is the best is to think of a talent for the talent show!" Kirihara announced.

The other four were about to respond, then they turned and looked at Kirihara who seemed so very eager to hear the answer. They gave a collective sigh and then relaxed in their chairs.

"What?" said Kirihara. "What is it? Don't you guys want to find out who is the best genius?"

"Kirihara, we appreciate your attempt to motivate us in a productive direction, but you made it too obvious just now," said Fuji as the entire battle aura in the room drained out in an instant.

"Come on!" Kirihara was on the verge of a temper tantrum. "Can't we just think of a talent and be done with it?"

"I think Fuji's idea is still good," Marui admitted.

"I think you'll agree, Kirihara, once you see it," Oshitari said.

"Guys, we are the best of the best from our teams!" said Kirihara. "I'm sure we can think of something better besides pulling a table cloth out from underneath a set of dishes!"

"But whatever we think of might end up taking a lot more effort to carry out than just doing this idea," said Sengoku. "And besides, we'll still have to think of the idea first!"

"Are you all being serious right now or are you just trying to annoy me?" said Kirihara as he put his face in his hands and looked utterly despaired.

"Come on, I'll show you," said Fuji as he lovingly took Kirihara and stood him up. Kirihara, of course, got away as soon as possible before he absorbed too much evil from Fuji and ended up dying.

The five geniuses went into the kitchen and set up a small table setting. The tablecloth was red and white checkers because everyone loves those tablecloths but no one actually has them. Then they set up some expensive china on top of it.

"Does it have to be expensive china?" Kirihara looked distressed.

"Just watch," said Fuji as he gripped the tablecloth tightly.

Then, in one quick motion, he tore the tablecloth out. None of the things on the table even moved an inch. There was no crashing. There wasn't even any wobbling. Kirihara could hardly follow the motion of the tablecloth, and after it was all done with, he looked at Fuji who was folding the tablecloth and looking content with himself.

"Wow!" said Kirihara. "That WAS cool!"

"Told you," said Fuji.

"Can I try?" Kirihara asked eagerly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Oshitari, holding Kirihara back before he could do anything rash. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" Kirihara demanded.

"I think you're a little too young to take on this massive undertaking," said Marui, patting Kirihara on the head.

Kirihara just swatted him away like he was looking for a catfight. "No way, I'm going to give it a try!" he said. "It doesn't look that hard. Besides, if I get really good, then maybe I can do it in the talent show too!"

"All right, Kirihara, but you want to try to start with less expensive plates and such?" Fuji asked.

"No way," said Kirihara. "The more weight, the better."

They only watched as Kirihara set up the tablecloth and expensive china again.

Then the promptly covered their eyes.

Then they heard the sound of many things smashing and breaking.

Whence they uncovered their eyes, they saw Kirihara standing there with his lip quivering, the tablecloth halfway pulled out and most of the expensive china scattered around on the floor as not-so-expensive shards of what used to be expensive china.

"I'm sorry, maybe in a few months you'll be ready," said Fuji, patting him on the back.

"Aw man…" Kirihara wept.

"On that note, I think we can call it a day," Oshitari decided.

"Yeah, I'm out of here," Sengoku agreed.

"Wait!" said Kirihara as he threw the tablecloth on the floor. "We're not done!"

"How are we not done?" said Marui. "We know what we're going to do for the talent and we don't have to practice it or anything."

"Are you saying that all we're going to do is have Fuji walk up there and pull the tablecloth out and then we'll be done?" Kirihara demanded.

"Why not?" said Fuji.

"Because there's no climax!" said Kirihara.

"Yes there is," said Fuji. "The climax is when I grab the tablecloth and everyone realizes what I'm about to do. There is a moment of horror when they think I will fail, but little do they know that I won't fail."

Then Fuji struck an evil sinister pose.

"I _never _fail," he added.

Everyone secretly cursed Fuji on the inside because they knew, deep down in their hearts, (but would never admit it) Fuji had already coined rights to the title of 'Genius.'

So, after some internal fist shaking, they decided that they were done for the day. After meeting for forty-five minutes AT MOST, they had established their talent to secure their victory.

And if they didn't win then…eh. Whatevah.


	17. How Did He Do It?

Chapter XVII- "How Did He Do It?"

"You will be scored on a simple one to ten scale," Ryuuzaki explained. "You can get up to ten points for the originality of your talent, up to ten points for the quality of your talent and then up to ten points for the presentation of your talent. So you can get up to thirty points."

"It's simple enough," Sakaki said. "The team with the highest amount of points comes in first and the team with the least amount of points comes in last."

"DUH," yelled everyone.

"Please, we're not in ELEMENTARY school," said Shishido. "We're in MIDDLE school."

"Oh right," said the coaches, rolling their eyes.

"The first order of business is deciding which order you will present your talent in," said Ojii. "Under normal circumstances, we would have whoever came in first place in the previous challenge decide the order, but since this is the first challenge, we obviously can't do that!"

Shishido had to once again explain to the coaches that they were not silly elementary schoolers. They were grown up middle schoolers.

"So we put the numbers one through eight in this hat and we just need the captains from each team to come forth and pick a number," Banji explained.

The captains did just that. They were instructed to not open the papers until after everyone had one. Then, once everyone did, they all looked at their numbers.

"Way to get number one, Kirihara," said Marui as he hit Kirihara up the head.

"Yeah," said the other three geniuses as they slapped Kirihara up the head as well.

"Hey!" Kirihara said angrily. "It's not MY fault!"

"So Team Genius is the first group to go?" Ryuuzaki inferred.

"Yes," they answered.

All the other teams took seats in the foldout chairs while Team Genius got up on the makeshift stage that the coaches had obviously rented from someplace. The rest of the teams were a little worried with what Team Genius was going to present them with. After all…they were…GENIUSES.

"You have five minutes…" said Sakaki, looking at his watch. "Go!"

Kirihara set up the table and Oshitari put down the tablecloth. Then Marui and Sengoku worked together to set up the expensive china.

Fuji was standing behind the table the entire time with his back to the audience for dramatic effect. The other geniuses backed away and gave him jazz hands as he slowly turned around and reached for the tablecloth.

"Dear god!" many tennis players exclaimed. "NOT THE EXPENSIVE CHINA!"

"Do not try this at home," Fuji said plainly as he gripped the tablecloth tightly and started to pull.

Just as he made the motion that he was going to pull, everyone pretty much ducked and covered out of anticipation and fear of hearing the smashing of the expensive china.

However, there was no smashing. Instead, it was quiet. All they heard was a clean "SWOOSH!"

When they felt they could look again, they saw Fuji folding the table cloth and all the china sitting there without a hint of wobble.

Then they all waited.

"You done?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"…Yes," said Kirihara with a slight glare at the rest of the group.

"Excellent job, Team Genius," said Banji once he had recovered from shock. "Which group is next?"

"Can't we find out our score now?" asked Marui.

The coaches convened.

"No," they answered simultaneously.

"Oh…" Marui looked sad.

"So…the second group to compete?" Sakaki led.

"That's us," said Kaidou, standing up.

"Team Hard Working," said Sakaki. "We are excited to see what sort of routine you have worked so hard to make!"

Team Hardworking couldn't really tell if Sakaki was poking fun at them or not, but they decided to take offense to his comment anyway.

Each teammate stood up on the stage and they all had three billiard balls. Then, after a good "One, two, three!" from Mizuki who was standing off the stage, the four them commenced in the most intense sequence of juggling EVER.

I mean seriously. They were moving around the stage and throwing the billiards back and forth and break dancing AND curing cancer.

It was by far the most unbelievably amazing thing the coaches had ever seen and they were sad when it came to an end. Naturally, Team Hard Working had made it so that their performance was EXACTLY five minutes.

And the best part was, none of them seemed tired AT ALL after the presentation.

"BRAVA!" said all the coaches as they gave Team Hard Working a standing ovation.

The other groups looked at each other awkwardly.

"Well, that certainly set the bar," Banji commented as he and the other coaches sat back down.

"Who's next?" asked Ryuuzaki.

"Uh…us…" Bane raised his hand.

"Are you serious?" Sanada said. "We're actually going to do this? I mean, they just did the same thing we were going to do except a thousand times better."

"Yeah, all we have is Kabaji juggling," Taka added.

"Well, we're obviously not going to beat them, but we'll at least beat the first team, right?" Bane reasoned.

"At this point, it is illogical to shoot for first place," Renji agreed. "But we have to compete nonetheless. There might be other people who have worse performances than ours."

The coaches cleared their throats.

"Okay!" said Bane. "Go ahead, Kabaji."

Kabaji went up to the stage and the coaches gave him his five minute time and instructed him to go.

And so Kabaji stood there for five minutes and juggled. The rest of Team Tall slapped their foreheads constantly throughout the presentation, especially when they looked over at the bored coaches.

The time limit was up and the coaches did NOT give them a standing ovation. In fact, they sort of came close to pushing Kabaji off the stage and forcing the next group on.

"The next team is…Team WTF?" Ryuuzaki said.

"Let's show them REAL talent!" Horio exclaimed as he jumped up and punched the air enthusiastically.

"YEAH!" agreed the other freshmen except Ryoma who was more along the lines of, "Woo-hoo."

Dan placed the trampoline in the middle of the stage and Ryoma stood with his back to the audience in the way back of the stage. Horio and Dan stood on the left edge of the stage while Kachirou and Katsuo stood on the right edge.

The coaches instructed them to go.

The quartet of freshmen standing on the edges all did a cartwheel. They weren't exactly in sync and some of their cartwheels were way lame, but it was a valiant attempt to jazz things up. Then they ran up next to each other and formed a stack right in front of the trampoline.

The coaches were a wee bit concerned that this wasn't going to turn out all right.

The people in the crowd were excited to see someone wipe out or be harmed.

"I'm so glad I wasn't put on the freshman team," said Kentarou under his breath.

At that exact moment, Ryoma turned around, racket in hand, and started running towards the trampoline. All the freshmen closed their eyes. The coaches closed their eyes.

Ryoma bounded off the trampoline and thankfully did not end up murdering or harming anyone. In mid air, he threw a tennis ball up and then thwacked it right at the coaches, bouncing it off their judges table. He landed gracefully in front of the stack and, just when everyone was going to applaud their tennis related stunt, Horio and Dan threw two more tennis balls at him, which he proceeded to thwack into the crowd as well.

No one really minded being pelted with tennis balls. They loved tennis.

So the freshmen got a standing ovation as well.

"I KNEW we should have done a different talent!" said Kirihara to his fellow geniuses. "I don't even think we're going to place in the top four. The FRESHMAN team did better than us."

"You don't KNOW that," Fuji pointed out.

"Yes I do," said Kirihara. "They got a standing ovation. We didn't. Therefore, they did better than us."

"I can't believe we're already halfway over," sighed Ojii. "This is so enjoyable."

"Yes, we can certainly tell that some teams worked much harder on their talents than others," said Ryuuzaki as she shot a glare in the general direction of Team Tall. They covered their faces in shame.

"Next is…?" Banji led.

"Us!" Saeki raised his hand.

"Wow, you guys certainly are festive with your green painted faces," Sakaki commented.

"We wanted to show our 3rd Year Green Team PRIDE!" said Jirou enthusiastically.

"All right, we'll be supporting you back here, Jirou!" said Oishi as he winked at the rest of the team. They all sprinted behind the stage because they had set up their costumes there previously and had to change into them as quick as possible.

Jirou got up on the stage holding the three plastic swords.

"Do not attempt this stunt!" said Jirou even though it was obvious the swords were fake. "I am a TRAINED professional!"

"Another juggling act…" sighed Ryuuzaki. "All right, five minutes, go."

Jirou threw the three swords up in the air and fumbled them. They clattered to the floor, and he stood there looking embarrassed. No one knew how to react, so a few people whispered.

"Jirou!" came Oishi's voice offstage. He came out. "What was that all about? You said you could juggle!"

"I know I said that…" Jirou said slowly. "But the thing is, I can't. I just wanted to be the center of attention!"

"Well, I can't tolerate people lying to me," said Oishi as he ran over and picked up one of the swords that were on the floor. "On guard!"

"That is a bold challenge!" said Jirou as he picked up a sword as well.

Everyone who was watching was a little confused. The coaches couldn't help but admit they were intrigued as Jirou and Oishi battled back and forth on the stage with lunges and parries and thrusts that were very impressive. Of course, it all stopped when Jirou "stabbed" Oishi in the chest.

"Oh the horror!" said Oishi as he collapsed to the ground.

"OISHI!" Eiji exclaimed as he collapsed to the ground as well. Except he fainted.

"I have done it!" said Jirou as he pointed his sword towards the sky.

"NOT SO FAST!"

"Oh no!" said Jirou as he spun around just as Saeki, Yanagisawa and Ryou ran out on the stage dressed in their Three Musketeer costumes.

"We will avenge Oishi!" said Saeki.

Then there was ANOTHER swordfight. Needless to say, everyone was still quite taken aback, especially when Jirou was stabbed by Ryou and finished his dramatic death just when the teachers declared that their time was up.

The five stood up, joined hands and bowed copiously.

"Oh I get it now…it was all planned!" Momo said finally.

Everyone who was near him smacked him.

"Well that was certainly the most unique thing I have ever seen," Sakaki said.

"Something is either unique or it isn't," said Inui. "Something can't be the 'most' unique."

Sakaki looked at Inui with this face that said, "Did you really just say that?"

"Um…anyway, great job guys!" said Ojii.

"I don't know whether I loved it or hated it," said Banji.

"Oishi, even though I knew you weren't REALLY stabbed, I was still horrified by the notion that anyone would kill you!" said Eiji as he ran over and hugged Oishi.

"Oh Eiji!" said Oishi.

"We're next," Kentarou said to the coaches as he pointed to himself and the other captains. "And we have somewhat of a large prop."

"How long will it take to get it on stage?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"If all goes well, no time at all!" said Kentarou as he put on a top hat and waved a magic wand in the direction of the stage. There was suddenly purple smoke with sparklies and, when it cleared, the large blue box that they had painted was sitting the middle of the stage.

"MAGIC SHOW!" cheered everyone.

"Yes, precisely!" said Kentarou as he ran up to the stage. "But where is my assistant?"

There was a knocking from inside the box.

Kentarou gave a fake quizzical expression and then opened up the door to reveal Yukimura standing inside. Everyone chuckled warmly and applauded as he came out and the two of the bowed.

"ENCORE!" shouted someone who clearly really likes magic.

"The show hasn't even begun yet!" said Kentarou as he did some slight of hand techniques and cleverly made his wand disappear into his sleeve without anyone noticing. More applause.

"He's actually pretty good," Atobe leaned over to Tezuka.

Tezuka, in response, leaned away from Atobe. He didn't even know why he was sitting next to Atobe in the first place. Of course, he was also sitting next to Tachibana and in the process of leaning away from Atobe, he had pretty much leaned on top of Tachibana. Tachibana leaned away from him because it was awkward.

"Since we are short for time, I only have time to present my grand finale!" said Kentarou as he danced around the box in a festive and entertaining manner. "As you can see, this is an ordinary box!"

Yukimura tapped on the outside of the box, went around it and tapped on the other side too.

"That is clearly an ordinary box," Sakaki said, looking thoroughly entertained.

"I will now make my assistant disappear!" said Kentarou.

Sanada was at the edge of his seat. Not because he was excited, but because he was horrified that Yukimura might never come back.

"If you would be so kind," Kentarou gestured towards the box.

Yukimura stepped inside, and Kentarou closed the door. He then danced around the box a little more before making his wand appear back in his hand and pointing it at the ground. More sparklies and smoke appeared and, while it was still somewhat smokey, he opened the door to reveal that Yukimura was no longer there.

"How did he do it?" gasped Jirou as he paused from his applause only to slap his cheeks in excitement.

Renji and Inui looked at each other skeptically. It was pretty obvious to THEM what had gone down.

"And no magic trick is complete without the prestige!" said Kentarou as he closed the door again. He did more showmanship and then opened the door again to reveal that Yukimura had returned.

Sanada gave a sigh of relief and was glad because he had almost wet his pants.

Everyone had been very entertained by Team Captain's presentation. Kentarou and Yukimura bowed probably more than they needed to, but it filled up the last few seconds in their time slot.

"Very good," said Ryuuzaki as they took their seats with the rest of their team. "We only have two remaining teams and I believe the next team is… Team Double, right?"

"That's us!" Eiji stood up. "Just so you know, we were GOING to use a piano but that would have been too difficult to move around."

"Guys, I'm still really nervous," Choutarou said, holding his violin. "I really don't think I was successfully hypnotized."

"Nonsense!" said Gakuto. "It'll be fine! Come on, go ahead!"

Choutarou was sweating bullets as he took his violin out of the case and stood up on the stage all by himself. He looked out at everyone staring at him and then figured out that he would be fine if he could just find Shishido's supportive face in the crowd.

But then he realized that Shishido's seat was empty.

Unfortunately for Team Double, Shishido had gone to the bathroom halfway through the magic show.

Of course, Choutarou froze and then had a mini panic attack. He thought about all the performances that preceded him and realized that he didn't stand a chance against them. He was terrified of letting his team down. After about thirty seconds of standing there like a deer in the headlights, he passed out. Just like that.

His team was shocked. They ran up on the stage to his aid but no one else moved. After seeing Team 3rd Year's presentation, they thought it was part of the talent show. Then Team Double explained that it was NOT part of the show so they quickly retrieved some smelling salts to revive Choutarou.

They weren't successful so they finally had to drag him off the stage.

"And your time is up…" Sakaki said regrettably.

"Aww…" said Team Double.

Then Shishido returned and took his seat next to Kaidou. "Did I miss anything?" he asked.

"Not really," Kaidou shrugged.

"Okay," Shishido shrugged.

"So the last team will go now," said Banji.

"That's us!" said Momo as he stood up to reveal to everyone how purple he was. His teammates stood up as well, and everyone was quite shocked to see the mass of purple migrate to the stage. They all struck a pose that they had clearly thought of beforehand.

"You five certainly are purple," Ojii commented.

"Aren't we just?" said Kamio.

"So you have five minutes to do your talent," said Ryuuzaki.

"No problem!" said David as he adjusted his purple overalls. He had put the bandana on the clasp of the overalls in the front, and he wore it proudly.

The rest of the team sat around him and he faced the crowd.

He pointed dramatically at everyone.

"Once upon a time there was a priest who believed heavily in God," David began, using a storytelling voice. "Which is understandable, because he is a God. One day, there was a horrible hurricane and all the people were ordered to leave the town immediately, but the priest refused to leave his church."

David began to pace.

"The water began to rise, but the priest still would not leave," David continued. "A helicopter descended to the church and the man inside said to the priest, 'Get in! I'll save you!' The priest just shook his head and said, 'No, no. God will save me.'"

The coaches seemed slightly interested in the moral that was going to come from this story.

"The water continued to rise. The priest moved to the second floor. Another helicopter came and the men showed, 'Come on! We'll save you!' But the priest replied, 'No, no. God will save me.'"

Now everyone was interested.

"The water continued to rise. The priest went to the roof. Another helicopter came and urged the priest to get in but once again, the priest said, 'No, no. God will save me.'"

David paused from his story and clenched his fist.

"To make a long story short, the priest ended up drowning," he said. "And, when he arrived at the Gates of Heaven, God was there waiting. The priest looked up at God and said, 'God, I had faith in you! Why didn't you save me?' And do you know what God said?"

Everyone shook their heads, not able to keep their eyes off him.

"God said," David said as he struck the most dramatic pose EVER. "I TRIED! I sent three helicopters!"

There was silence.

David stifled his own laughter.

The coaches looked at each other, then at David. Then at each other. Then at David again. The five minutes was up.

There were a few mild chuckles from the audience. A few nods and then some 'ohhh's. As a whole, I think, people weren't really amused.

"_I _liked it," Ojii shrugged.

"Thank you, thank you!" said the entirety of Team 2nd Year as they bowed.

"All right…" said Ryuuzaki slowly. "That was…interesting, to say the least."

"So…let's judge this and move on, shall we?" said Banji.

"This will take a few minutes, so talk amongst yourselves!" said Sakaki to the tennis players as the coaches all formed an exclusive huddle.


	18. He Means the Hypothetical Podium

Chapter XVIII- "He Means the Hypothetical Podium."

"All right, good talking!" said Sakaki after a few minutes had passed.

"We will be judging all the way down to eighth place, so would you rather we start with eighth or start with first?" Ojii asked.

"FIRST!" screamed everyone.

"Eighth?" Ojii repeated. "Okay. Eighth it is."

The tennis players were disgruntled because they sort of figured the coaches had already decided to start at eighth anyway so their response was entirely unnecessary.

"In eighth place," said Ryuuzaki. "Since they did not present a talent due to Ootori's little episode, they received no points whatsoever and were basically disqualified. So…yeah."

"Choutarou had an episode?" demanded Shishido as he stood up. "WHAT? WHEN?"

"When you were in the bathroom, I think," said Kaidou.

Shishido looked at Kaidou angrily. "When I came back and asked you if anything had happened while I was gone…" he began but he was interrupted by Ryuuzaki clearing her throat.

"In seventh place," she said. "This team received five points for originality, three points for presentation and five points for the talent. Team Tall!"

"Why did you announce that like we should be excited?" Bane said as he pouted.

"Well, at least we didn't place last," said Sanada.

"The only people we placed above were the group that didn't even present a talent, so that's nothing to be proud of," Renji said. And he would have adjusted his glasses right then and there if he HAD glasses. So Inui adjusted his glasses since they're practically telepathically linked. No, they ARE telepathically linked.

"Sixth place," Ryuuzaki continued. "Team Genius with their table cloth stunt."

"Sixth place?" demanded Kirihara. "Our talent struck fear into the hearts of the audience! I demand to hear the break down of the points!"

"Seven for originality, three for talent and eight for presentation," Sakaki read from his clipboard.

"THREE?" Kirihara demanded, sounding outraged. "That talent was AMAZING!"

"Calm down, Kirihara," Oshitari advised. "You're making us as a whole look less cool."

Kirihara looked at the other four geniuses who were standing there with their arm crossed looking totally stoic. Then he looked at everyone who was staring at them shaking their heads with disappointment.

"Oh…sorry…" Kirihara lowered his head and stayed quiet.

"With a total of twenty points, Team 2nd Year is in fifth place!" Ryuuzaki announced.

"How did THEY place above US?" demanded Kirihara.

"It's because our awesome purpletastic outfits!" Momo said.

"What about my talent?" David questioned.

"It's mostly because of the outfits," Ojii admitted.

"Shazam!" said Momo as he gave his teammates high fives. They were actually happy with fifth place because they were expecting to do much worse since they were relying on David to tell a joke as their talent show.

"So now we're into the top half of the talents," Ryuuzaki said. "With eight points for talent, six for presentation and seven for originality, which makes a total of twenty-one, we have Team WTF with their unique pyramid trampoline thing."

"I'm offended that we only got one point more than the stand up group," said Horio, crossing his arms.

"Think of it this way;" said Ryoma. "We did better than the 2nd Years. Making freshmen superior."

"That's not true!" Momo shook his fist at Ryoma. "Just you wait!"

"Fourth place is sort of the worst ever," said Dan. "Because we're so close to being one of the people to stand on the podium!"

"There is no podium," Kachirou pointed out.

"I think he means the hypothetical podium," Katsuo said.

"Ah, I see," Kachirou declared loudly.

"The three teams that are left are the Hard Workers, the 3rd Years and the Captains!" said Banji.

"We sort of expected it," said pretty much everyone.

"We'll start with third place," said Ryuuzaki. "This team actually only received one more point than the fourth place team."

"Which means we were only two points away from being in third place!" said Kamio proudly to his team.

"Stop making it about you guys!" snapped the people who were still waiting for results.

"Team Captains!" announced Ryuuzaki. "Congratulations! It was an amazing magic show!"

Team Captain didn't really react. They looked at each other with shocked expressions. It was clear they thought they were going to win.

"Okay…" said Sakaki when the captains STILL didn't say anything. "Moving on then…"

"Should we announce who came in first or second?" Ryuuzaki pondered to herself.

"Either way, the second place team gets no glory whatsoever," Inui said.

"Good point," said Ryuuzaki. "In that case, the team that came in first place with twenty-seven points is…THE HARD WORKING TEAM!"

Like the Team Captain, Team Hard Working didn't have a vocal reaction. Not because they were pompous and stuck up but because their celebratory victory expressions consisted mostly of internal sunshine and the occasional high five if one was feeling animated.

"Which means, Team 3rd Years came in second," Ryuuzaki added.

"We'll take it!" said Saeki. "Nice job, team!"

"All right!" cheered the team as they did a five way high five.

"Nice job everyone, except the teams who didn't do a good job," said Sakaki. "Let's not waste any time at all. We'll give you a little more time to do this next challenge because it's a little more difficult."

"For THIS challenge, there will be a detrimental penalty to everyone who doesn't place in the top three that gets progressively worse as your place gets lower," Banji warned. "So be sure to keep that in mind when you feel like slacking off."

"But for now, let's concentrate on the challenge instead of the outcome!" said Ojii as he whipped out an easel.

"We have written down eight genres on this easel," Sakaki said as he slapped the easel with a pointer that he went and got when no one was looking. "The first place team gets to pick which genre they want to do, then the second place team and so forth. Once a genre has been chosen, it cannot be chosen again."

"You can choose among romance, fantasy, humor, tragedy, mystery, parody, action and horror!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Team Hard Working?" said Sakaki. "You get to choose first."

The hard workers huddled together and quickly ran through all their choices thanks to Inui. They finally emerged.

"We'll take action," Kaidou said as several other teams cursed them.

"Very good," said Sakaki. "Team 3rd Year?"

"Mystery!" said Jirou immediately.

"We didn't discuss that!" said Saeki.

"But can we?" Jirou pleaded.

"Sure, I would have picked that anyway," Saeki admitted.

"So Team 3rd Year is mystery…" Sakaki said.

"Next up us Team Captain," said Ojii.

"We'll go with…" Yukimura looked at his fellow captains. They nodded knowingly. "Horror."

"All righty then," said Ojii.

"Next is Team WTF," Banji offered.

"Can we just be called Team Freshmen?" Ryoma requested.

"NO!" yelled the coaches.

"Fine, fine…" Ryoma rolled his eyes. "We'll take…um…"

"Come on, Ryoma, we trust you to pick an awesome genre for our skit!" cheered Katsuo, and of course the other freshmen agreed.

"…Fantasy?" Ryoma tried.

"Very good," said Banji.

"All right, Team 2nd Year, your choices are parody, romance, humor and tragedy," Sakaki said.

"We should pick humor!" said David to the rest of his group.

"In case you didn't notice, we sort of failed at humor just now," Shinji pointed out.

"What would be easiest?" said Kamio.

"Probably parody," said Momo. "Cause all we have to do is make fun of something that already exists so that means less work."

"Okay, let's go with that then," Hiyoshi agreed, turning to the coaches. "We pick parody."

"Parody it is!" said Sakaki. "Team Genius? Do you want romance, humor or tragedy?"

"We're not very funny people," Marui said to his group.

"And romance would be more than a little awkward on many different levels that would be impossible to count," Sengoku said.

"Okay, then tragedy," Fuji said.

"Hey, I make the decisions cause I'm captain!" said Kirihara. "And I say we pick tragedy!"

"That's the conclusion we just came to," Oshitari said.

"But it's better because I said it," said Kirihara, looking at the coaches. "We pick tragedy."

"Team Tall?" said Ryuuzaki. "You can choose either romance or humor."

"Uh…HUMOR…DUH," said Team Tall all at the same tame. Except for Kabaji because he just said, "Usu."

"So that leaves the romance genre to Team Doubles," Banji concluded.

"Romance?" said Itsuki. "How are we going to do ROMANCE?"

"We'll figure SOMETHING out," said Eiji, looking overly dramatic.

"So that does it!" said Sakaki. "From this point on, everyone has a clean slate so do your best in the next challenge."

"How long do these skits have to be?" Mizuki questioned.

"At least five minutes," said Ojii. "If it's shorter then you get disqualified."

"Got it," said Mizuki.

"Meet in this spot the day after tomorrow," said Ryuuzaki. "As in not TOMORROW at noon, but the day AFTER tomorrow at noon."

"Thanks for that clarification," said everyone sarcastically.

"Keep in mind that you don't have to memorize your lines, but you probably should because you know THEY are going to," said Sakaki, gesturing towards Team Hard Working.

"Damn straight," said Team Hard Working.

"You will be scored on integrity to the genre, the acting ability of the performers and the quality of the skit itself," Banji explained. "So be sure to stick to your genre, rehearse your lines and get props!"

"All that being said, feel free to disperse and get to work straight away!" said Ryuuzaki gesturing for them all to go away. "You have forty-eight hours to present a work of genius!"

Once again, there were glares. It was on. AGAIN.


	19. I Forgot to Cut One of Them!

Chapter XIX- "I Forgot to Cut One of Them!"

"I can't believe I fainted in front of everyone!" Choutarou said with the biggest pouty face EVER. "Now I definitely won't be able to go up in front of them all."

"It's all right!" said Eiji enthusiastically. "It was the entire group's mistake! All we have to do is come back and triumph over everyone else for this challenge to prove that we're a serious group with SERIOUS competition!"

"How are we going to do well, though?" Itsuki asked.

"I know," said Gakuto. "We have to make a ROMANCE based skit."

"That's going to be difficult, I admit…" Eiji said. "But we'll figure something out because a tennis camp is on the line!"

"Okay, so what do we do?" said Atsushi.

The five of them got in a circle and Eiji took out the piece of paper that the coaches passed out to the captains when no one was looking.

"All right," he said. "It has to be at least five minutes long and, unlike before, we have to include everyone. So all five of us have to have a speaking part."

"Do they explain anything about that detrimental penalty they mentioned that gets progressively worse?" Atsushi asked.

"Only that it exists," Eiji said. "They mainly just say that if we don't get in the top three then our lives our going to suck."

"Phenomenal," said Gakuto, rolling his eyes. "So what do we do?"

"We have to do something romantic…" Eiji said.

"I call not being the one to wear the wig!" Atsushi announced, and then everyone quickly threw their fingers on their noses so fast that they couldn't even tell who was the slowest.

"Wait a second!" said Eiji. "Just because we have to do a romance story doesn't mean that one of us have to dress up as a girl!"

"…" everyone felt a little uncomfortable with what Eiji just said.

"What we could do is show one HALF of the romance!" Eiji clarified.

"Oh," said everyone, feeling a little more comfortable.

"You mean one of us is the main character, and we show him pining over his lost love which will not embody any of us?" Itsuki asked.

"Yeah, she'll always be off screen or something!" Eiji announced.

"But…" Choutarou started. "It has to be romantic. If the lover is never shown then it's going to have a sad ending, which will be more tragedy."

"And we're being graded on our integrity to the genre," Atsushi pointed out.

"Well, just because the lover is never shown doesn't mean that we have to make it end tragically," Eiji said. "We could have whoever the lead is suddenly run off and announce he's going to go marry his lover!"

"That could work and if we do that then none of us will have to pretend to be in love with each other!" said Gakuto.

"All right, so should we write the script first or should we cast the parts first?" Itsuki asked.

"Well, let's at least think of a storyline first," said Eiji. "And personally, I think we should just be ourselves."

"But under what circumstances would the five of us every hang out?" said Gakuto.

Then he looked around as the others did so as well.

"Besides these," he said, looking a little annoyed that they hadn't come to that conclusion on their own.

"Maybe we could pretend as though it was sort of a side plot to this whole thing…like it's REAL time!" said Atsushi.

"What do you mean?" Itsuki asked.

"You know," said Atsushi. "Instead of thinking of a fictional skit, we could shoot for uniqueness and pretend as though one of us is ACTUALLY in love with someone."

"We could start a skit, and then not be able to go on with it because someone is too distracted with their love for another individual," Eiji agreed. "We'd get points for originality."

"But how would we end that type of skit?" Choutarou said. "We can't have that person just leave the area and marry someone. We're too young for that anyway."

"I've got it!" Gakuto jumped up and everyone was frightened for a moment before they regained their composure. "It can have a really inspirational ending by having the person who is in love announce, 'I'm going to go after her!' And then he runs off and the rest of us bade him farewell."

"So we make it obvious that he is eventually going to end up with her, without having her actually physically end up with her," Atsushi inferred.

"Exactly," said Gakuto, looking proud of himself.

"Awesome!" said Eiji. "We've got it! That'll be perfect!"

The others all agreed.

"Okay, so let's think of roles," Eiji said as he whipped out a pen. "Obviously we're all going to be ourselves, but what are our roles in the play? You know, the protagonist, and antagonist, the best friend figure…"

No one said anything.

"Does anyone WANT to be the protagonist?" Eiji asked, crossing his arms.

Still, no one said anything.

"Looks like we're going to have to draw straws," Eiji decided finally.

So he disappeared and reappeared a moment later (no, he's not a magician, he actually just walked away and then returned, but we were using creative terms and you are silly if you assumed that Eiji suddenly has magic powers) with a handful of straws.

Everyone obediently took a straw and, when it was all said and done, they compared sizes and determined that they each had the same sized one.

"What the hell?" said Gakuto sounding annoyed.

"Oops!" said Eiji as he swiped them all back. "I forgot to cut one of them!"

The slapped their foreheads as Eiji cut one of the straws, turned around and rearranged them again. Finally, he turned back around and presented the straws to his fellow doubles players.

TAKE TWO; everyone took a straw.

"I think I should be exempted from this gesture…" Choutarou said as he took a straw and pulled it out, immediately seeing that it was shorter than the others. He gasped dramatically.

"As your senior, Ootori, I can't allow you to take the lead," Gakuto said as he switched his straws with Choutarou so now he had the short one.

"Thank you…" Choutarou said, his eyes welding up with tears.

"So I guess that settles it," said Atsushi with a shrug. "Gakuto's going to be the one with a ridiculous crush on a girl that doesn't exist."

"At the risk of sounding like Shishido, this is lame," Gakuto complained.

"That wasn't a very good Shishido impression," Choutarou said.

"Well I wasn't TRYING to sound like him!" Gakuto snapped.

"Sorry…" Choutarou looked sad.

"Okay, now we need an antagonist," Eiji said as he tossed one of the long straws behind him.

"The antagonist will be Gakuto's rival for the love of this random mysterious person?" Itsuki inferred.

"Exactly right," Eiji said. "But of course this person will end up losing in the end because in romance movies, the good guy always wins."

Gakuto raised his eyebrows at Eiji.

"Which is exactly why YOU don't want that part, right?" he said, putting his hands on his hips.

"It has nothing to do with that," Eiji said even though it obviously did.

Atsushi picked out the first straw, but they didn't have to go any further because that was the short one.

"I didn't want to have to learn a lot of lines!" Atsushi whined.

"That's right…we have to memorize our lines too…" Eiji remembered. "And all of us have to have at least one speaking part!"

"That'll be easy," Gakuto said.

"What other roles are there?" Itsuki asked.

"Best friend figure and…um…" Choutarou started. "…Two more friends?"

"Maybe the last two people can be Atsushi's gang," said Gakuto. "You know, like his bouncers that just stand there and guffaw whenever he says something."

"That sounds good," said Eiji. He paused and looked at Itsuki and Choutarou. "Do you two want to be the guffawing bouncers?"

"Are there less lines to memorize?" Itsuki asked.

"Probably," Eiji answered.

"Okay," Itsuki shrugged.

"I will too…less show time works for me," Choutarou said.

"Okay, then I guess I'll be the best friend figure who gives you advice and it turns out you idolize!" Eiji exclaimed to Gakuto as the scenery around him erupted with golden happiness and flowers.

"I refuse to even PRETEND to idolize you!" Gakuto announced.

"It's going to be hard to believe that you two are best friends," Choutarou observed.

"We have to start making a script!" said Atsushi as he tried to get in between the two flippy doubles playing bitches since they had started cat fighting. "A little help?"

Choutarou and Itsuki intervened as well, and after much effort, the two were finally separated.

Everyone understood the severity of the situation; they had very little time to finish the script, get excellent props and memorize their lines. But Team Doubles was determined to do well after their not so great job in the previous challenge. They were certainly going to put all their heart and soul into it!


	20. Are You Correcting My Grammar?

Chapter XX- "Are You Correcting My Grammar?"

"I think that before we get to figuring out our skit, we should get to know each other a little better," Bane said to his team.

"Really?" Sanada raised his eyebrow. "I think we should work on the skit."

"I think most of our fault in the earlier challenge was due to the fact that none of us really knew each other," Bane shrugged.

"I attribute it to our laziness and lack of creativity," Renji said.

"And poor leadership," Sanada added under his breath but Bane could hear it just fine.

"Come on, SOMEONE back me up!" Bane ordered. "Taka, back me up."

"Um…I don't know, I think I'm going to have to agree with Sanada and Renji on this one…" Taka said uneasily.

"Fine," said Bane, crossing his arms.

"I understand your motives, Bane, and they are well intentioned," Renji said. "But what we need to do right now is buckle down and make a good skit so we won't receive a detrimental penalty."

"We're already the coach's least favorites," Sanada said. "We're the only team that put virtually no effort into our presentation and they know that. We need to have a good comeback."

"I don't think that round really counted, though," Taka said. "I mean, I think it was just a practice. Which is good, because we didn't do so well."

"That being said, we need to craft an amazing skit with good props and integrity to the genre," said Renji. "What is the genre again?"

"Humor," Bane said morbidly.

Renji suddenly didn't look so confident. "Well…what can we do?" he said.

"If we _got to know each other_ then we'd know our strengths and weaknesses," Bane pointed out.

Renji came pretty close to saying PSHTTTT at the notion that he did not already know everybody's strengths and weaknesses.

"The fact of the matter is simple;" Renji began. "None of us are funny people. Why did we choose humor?"

"Because the only other choice was romance," Taka said.

"All right," said Renji. "We must construct a very amusing skit or else we will be permanently branded as a slacker team."

"AND we don't want the detrimental penalty," Sanada added.

"All we have to do is come up with a skit that knocks their socks off," Bane announced. "Any ideas?"

"Should we watch some funny movies and get ideas from that?" Taka suggested.

"That's a good idea," Renji commented.

"No way," said Sanada. "Watching movies with Renji is no fun at all."

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" said Renji.

"Because you always just sit there and point out the continuity errors, or see the boom mic, or a camera man in the background, and it just ruins the moving going experience," Sanada explained.

Renji sat there stone faced. "I didn't know that bothered you," he said.

"It bothers EVERYONE," Sanada said.

"I know it would bother me," Bane shrugged.

"Well, it's irrelevant," said Renji. "Because we would be watching these movies for research, not for entertainment. Therefore, I will watch for the comedical aspects of the movie instead of the continuity errors."

There was silence for a little while. No one wanted to look at Renji because they had never heard the word "comedical" and were pretty sure that the word he was looking for was "comical" but at the same time, they knew Renji was overly smart and various things like that, so they were worried that it was a new word that only he knew about and they would just look foolish if they brought the error to his attention.

Finally, Bane couldn't contain himself anymore.

"Isn't it 'comical'?" Bane asked.

"Isn't what comical?" Renji said.

"You said 'comedical'." Bane answered. "I don't think that's a word. I think it was supposed to be 'comical'."

Renji paused a while.

"I don't think that sentence came out the way you wanted it to," he said finally.

"I think it did," Bane retorted.

"Are you correcting my grammar?" Renji inquired.

Even though Renji's eyes were closed, Bane could feel his stare burning a hole through him. "Uh…no, never mind…" Bane said.

"That's what I thought," Renji said smugly.

"All right so…funny movies?" Taka suggested.

They went to the computer to look up the funniest movies EVER so they won't mess up. Just when Bane was about to start searching the web, he went to dictionary dot com and decided to search for comedical. No one argued because everyone else wanted to see if it was a word to prove Renji wrong, and Renji wanted to show them all that it was a word just to prove his obvious superiority.

Sure enough, one result came up.

"Of or pertaining to the nature of comedy," Taka read.

"There, you see?" said Renji.

"I guess…" Bane still didn't look convinced even though it was there. ON DICTIONARY DOT COM. If it's there, it's got to be true.

So then Bane decided to search for the funniest movies of all time.

"Well, here's a comprehensible list," Renji said, pointing to the first search result.

Bane clicked on it and they were presented with a list.

As they scrolled down, they discovered that they had never heard of any of them.

"They're all made before the seventies or whatever…" Bane observed.

"Wait, there's a 1987 one," Sanada said.

But they hadn't heard of that one either.

"Whoever made this list doesn't know what they're talking about," said Bane. "They didn't even have Ace Ventura Pet Detective on it!"

"That is a quality movie," said Taka.

"It is difficult comedy to pull off," Renji reminded them.

They nodded in agreement and were just about to go off and search for another list that might have better movies when they were distracted because Kabaji was missing.

"How long as he not been here?" questioned Sanada.

No one knew the answer to that one since no one pays attention to Kabaji.

"Well forget him," said Bane. "We have to start working on our skit by getting some inspiration."

"Let's just go to the movie rental place and pick out some funny movies to watch," Taka suggested.

"All right!" said everyone as they piled into a vehicle to drive down there but then they realized they were in middle school despite their very adult-like appearances and attitudes so they had to unfortunately exit the car and start to walk.

Thankfully, they didn't have to resort to walking for TOO long because Kabaji suddenly rounded the corner!

He had a bag in his hand.

"That's right!" Bane said, slapping his forehead. "I told Kabaji to go get us some sandwiches."

"Will you stop doing that and forgetting about him?" demanded Sanada.

So they thanked Kabaji for his efforts and sat down in the front yard to eat their munchies while pondering about their options.

"After we get ideas for our skit…" Bane started. "How are we going to write it?"

"Don't you think we should focus on getting an idea first?" Sanada suggested.

"Well, I just want to know how much work I'm actually in for," Bane argued.

"Maybe we could each write a scene and then put the scenes together," Taka said.

"That sounds good," said Bane. "Less work for everyone."

"But that is not logical," Renji pointed out. "Because then character personalities will differ from scene to scene since it is impossible to remain consistent with those terms."

"That won't be such a HUGE deal…" Bane began but everyone told him he was wrong.

"We should just all write it together," Renji said. "That's still minimal work for everyone if the load is balanced easily."

"But like I said before," Sanada continued. "Let's forget all this stuff because it won't even come into play unless we think up a good idea first."

"And a good idea is essential if we hope to make a worthy comeback in the eyes of our coaches," Renji added.

"All right then what are we doing here?" Bane demanded as he stood up and threw his trash away in the nearest receptacle since littering is bad and we far from endorse such heinous actions and likewise for Bane.

Everyone followed suit because littering is for foolz, and then frolicked off to the nearest movie rental place which was, thankfully, not too far away. But it's not like it took them very long anyway because they have such long legs since they are the TALL TEAM! YAY!

So let's wish them all good luck on their future endeavors and hope everything goes perfectly.


	21. Obviously

Chapter XXI- "Obviously."

Kirihara angrily stomped around to the backyard of Oshitari's house. He was hopping mad because, once again, no one respected him enough to show up for his meeting time. And then, when he called their houses, all moms concurred that they were at Oshitari's house.

When he reached the backyard, he discovered Oshitari, Fuji, Marui and Sengoku all lounging lazily in Oshitari's pool that he has. No really, he does have one. At least he does NOW.

And a few chapters ago, we specified that the month this story was taking place was October. We're just going to assume that global warming is kicking in and this particular October day happened to be warm enough to constitute a lazy day in the pool.

"Hey!" was the only thing that Kirihara could muster up as he viewed the four of them floating around on various floatation devices.

They all vaguely turned and looked at him.

"Yes?" they chimed.

"What are you doing?" Kirihara demanded.

"OBVIOUSLY we're floating around in Oshitari's pool," Marui said.

"OBVIOUSLY," said the other three.

"I can see that," Kirihara said. "What I want to know is WHY you're doing that instead of being at my house brainstorming on what we can do for a tragic skit that we have to present to our coaches the day after tomorrow and it has to be GOOD because we did BADLY last time. Remember?"

"Of course we remember," said Fuji. "We're just choosing not to care."

"WHY?" demanded Kirihara. "There is a tennis camp on the line!"

"Kirihara, I think we have already gone over this," said Sengoku. "We're the best there is without having to work at it. Going to a tennis camp would be pointless."

"Yeah," said Oshitari. "All we have to do is concentrate hard enough during an intense match and unleash our inner strength."

"But it wouldn't HURT to practice!" Kirihara threw a temper tantrum.

"Yes, the actual practice wouldn't hurt, but the painstaking process we have to go through in order to attain that practice will hurt," Fuji pointed out.

Kirihara looked like he was going to explode with rage. Instead, he took a deep breath and calmed down.

"All right," he said. "I'M the captain of this team, and I say we brainstorm on a skit that tops all tragedies."

"I have a better idea," said Marui. "How about you make the skit and we'll just read it when we have to present it?"

"That's a good idea," said Fuji. "Less work for us."

"No!" said Kirihara. "This has to be a team effort!"

"Does it?" Oshitari looked at the others.

"Yes it does because I'm captain and I SAY it does!" Kirihara said.

"About that, Kirihara," said Sengoku. "We had a mutiny and elected a new captain."

"What?" said Kirihara. "Mutiny? Why didn't I hear about this mutiny?"

"Because you weren't here," Marui answered.

"You guys can't have a mutiny while I'm not here!" said Kirihara.

"Well we did," said Oshitari. "And we decided that Fuji is our new captain."

"We did," Fuji nodded.

"But…but…" Kirihara stuttered as the other four geniuses just looked at him.

Finally, he gave a heavy sigh and sat down at the edge of the pool.

"Look, guys," Kirihara said. "I know you don't like me all that much and you're not too psyched about taking orders from a second year, but can't we just put all that behind us and come up with a really great skit? I think everyone is expecting us to because we're geniuses. I think, in general, everyone was really disappointed with the talent we presented in the talent show and want us to come out of our shell and show what we can really do. They all know and we all know that we can do better. What you say? Do you think we can cooperate for just a little while to come up with something really good?"

The other four geniuses looked at each other.

"One minute," Sengoku said.

They all floated to the center of the pool and turned their backs to Kirihara. Kirihara could hear whispers, but he couldn't tell exactly what they were saying.

Finally, they turned back around and came to the edge of the pool.

"Kirihara, we respect your change of heart and realization," said Fuji. "So, we decided to give you a chance."

"We'll work under you for this one time," Oshitari said. "If it comes out well, we'll reconvene and decide whether or not we can accept it. Then, based on that, we'll have a mutiny or not."

"All right, I won't let you down," said Kirihara, looking determined. "But you guys have to cut me some slack and actually do what I say, all right?"

"Sure," said the other four.

"All right, great!" said Kirihara. "First order of business, you all have to get out of the water."

They all shot him a collective glare.

"Or…what I meant was…I'll go get my bathing suit so we can brainstorm in the water…?" Kirihara tried.

They nodded.

Kirihara gave a heavy sigh and ran off.

Whence he returned with his bathing suit, he joined the other geniuses floating around in the middle of the pool.

"All right, so our topic is tragedy," Kirihara began. "So let's start by thinking of the most tragic things we can think of. Okay?"

"Sounds reasonable," Sengoku shrugged.

"Maybe if we think of enough tragic things, it'll transform in a good idea for a skit to do," Kirihara offered. "Let's go around the circle. Oshitari, what is the most tragic thing you can think of?"

"Hm…" Oshitari rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Losing at tennis."

"Yes," agreed Fuji. "Especially since we're geniuses."

"Yeah," Marui said. "It's just embarrassing."

"We're not looking for embarrassing," said Kirihara. "We want something absolutely tragic."

"If we angst it up enough, then it'll be tragic," Sengoku pointed out.

"And then maybe we could commit mass suicide at the end," Fuji said with a content smile and horseshoe eyes.

"All right…that's just creepy…not tragic…" Kirihara said uneasily.

"It's a tragedy," said Oshitari. "We have to have at least three fifths of us end up dying at the end. If not three fifths, then certainly all of us. We have to have approximately three fifths to all five fifths of us die at the end."

"Why did you say the same thing so many times?" Marui questioned.

"Don't question me," Oshitari warned.

"All right, sorry," said Marui.

"Okay, so we have to definitely die at the end," Kirihara counted off what they had already decided on. "The basic plot is that we lose at tennis, and pretty much all of us die."

"Mass suicide, I'm telling you," Fuji said.

"Why would we commit mass suicide?" said Kirihara, looking a little annoyed.

"The grief of our loss is too much," Fuji answered. "We could all be on the same team, and when we lose, we just become so very sad that we kill ourselves right then and there."

"All of us?" Sengoku said. "Do _all _of us have to die?"

"Well, I can live at the end," Fuji shrugged. "Maybe it should be mass murder instead of mass suicide. And then I commit suicide."

"Okay, this is getting more than just a little creepy," Marui said.

"Let's try to think of things more tragic instead of creepy," Kirihara suggested. "We know tragedy is basically when somebody dies and everyone deals with it. Therefore, I think we should focus more on having one person die and everyone else's angstful reactions as opposed to all of us committing mass suicide after losing a tennis match."

"Are you telling me that you've never felt like killing yourself after losing a match?" Fuji said.

"Um…"

"I wouldn't know," Fuji said smugly. "I don't lose when it counts."

"So, since Fuji seems kind of excited about the dying potential, do you want to be the one who dies, Fuji?" Sengoku asked.

"All right," Fuji said. "That would certainly be something tragic."

Everyone rolled their eyes when Fuji wasn't looking. And I'll have to tell you this; Fuji was mightily suspicious that all of them decided at exactly that moment to spin around on their flotation devices so they could roll their eyes with their backs to him.

"Okay…so this is our skit," Kirihara said. "Fuji dies… and we all angst about it."

"Sounds golden," Oshitari said.

"Yeah, can we do something else now?" Marui asked. "I'm getting pruney."

"Wait, we have to actually think up lines!" Kirihara said, chasing after them as they all went to the ladder to exit the pool.

"Obviously, Kirihara, we have to go someplace with a computer or several sheets of paper so we can write the script," Sengoku said.

"OBVIOUSLY," said all the geniuses.


	22. GO! GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Chapter XXII- "GO! GET TO THE CHOPPAH!"

"If we don't come in first place for this humiliation then I am going to do something drastic…" Shinji sighed as he fit himself with a curly blond wing. Kamio then came over to him wearing a black wig, except of course Kamio cannot move the hair out from in front of his eye so it looked absolutely ridiculous.

"I know what you mean," Kamio sighed.

"Did you all do the necessary research?" Hiyoshi asked as he adjusted a leather jacket that he probably had lying around the house. Or maybe he borrowed it from someone. Or maybe he borrowed it from that guy who took his place in the live action movie.

"Yes," said Shinji and Kamio, looking despaired.

"This is going to be the baddest skit ever," said Momo as he adjusted his tennis jacket. "And by 'baddest' I mean the best."

"Why do _I _have to play the girl again?" said Shinji.

"I have to play a girl too," Kamio pointed out. And he had the black wig which meant he was playing the EMO GIRL.

"I'm sort of glad I get to play the douche bag principal," said David as he adjusted his tie.

"All right, let's practice our awesome parody," said Momo as he put a CD in the CD player and started it.

Immediately, the song 'Don't You Forget About Me' from that movie the Breakfast Club started playing. The five of them just started dancing around like foolz for a little while before Momo finally stopped the song.

"Actually, David, it doesn't make sense for you to be here," he said. "The douche bag principal shouldn't get the privilege of dancing with The Breakfast Club."

"Is there actually a scene like this in the movie?" Hiyoshi asked.

"I haven't seen it," Momo admitted.

They went around the circle and quickly established that no one had seen it.

"All right, how about we think of something we've all seen," said Kamio as he took off the wig.

"Hm…" said everyone.

Then they noted Hiyoshi's leather jacket, and Shinji's blond wig.

"Have you guys seen Grease?" David asked.

At first, there was a slight look of confusion but then everyone got excited.

"We could do that Summer Loving scene," said Momo, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

"I don't want to be in it," said Shinji as he took the wig off.

"No, you have to do it," said Momo. "You look the best in the wig."

"I can't sing," Shinji said.

"None of us can," Momo reminded him.

"Excuse me, I take offense to that," said David. "_I _can sing."

Everyone laughed and complimented David on the first funny thing he has ever said in his life. But then they noticed that David looked sad because he was being serious.

"Well, if David wants to play the girl so badly, I say we let him," Shinji said, handing the wig to David.

"It seems kind of awkward, though, right?" said Hiyoshi. "David is significantly taller than I am."

"Whoever said _you _were going to play the lead?" Momo said.

Hiyoshi frowned. "I've got the leather jacket," he said. "And, out of everyone who isn't David, I am the tallest."

"I am so taller than you," Momo argued.

"No way," said Hiyoshi.

The two stood back to back and ordered everyone else to report on who was taller.

"Well…Hiyoshi's like… an INCH taller," Kamio said finally.

"Ha," said Hiyoshi, crossing his arms.

"Fine," said Momo. "Since you obviously want to be in love with David so badly, you can have it."

"Hey," said Hiyoshi, suddenly not feeling as victorious.

"Besides, it's not like height is going to matter," Kamio said. "The two of you will never be standing next to each other because the whole song is about how they're not in contact."

"Actually, it's about Summer Loving," Shinji said helpfully.

Kamio raised an eyebrow at Shinji.

"What about the groupies?" said Shinji to the others since he didn't feel like dealing with Kamio's accusing stares. "Obviously the rest of us will play the backup singers. One group will have two and the other group will have only one. It will sound dumb if there's only one back up singer."

"Maybe we can run back and forth and be both," Kamio suggested. "We would obviously use high pitched voices when we're the girls, of course. And maybe we could put on backwards caps when we're being the boys just to slap people across the face with the distinction."

"You know, this is either going to be really good or really bad," David said as he tried on the blond wig to make sure he looked awesome in it. And trust me, he looked absolutely fantabulous. And if Renji were here, he would assure you that is an actual word even if others dispute it. "I don't think it can go anywhere in between."

"Well then let's make it really good!" Momo declared. "We're going to practice all day. But I think the three of us have the most work to do, Shinji and Kamio."

"You guys?" said Hiyoshi, looking almost offended. "Obviously David and I have the most difficult job."

"I think we should parody lots of things," Momo said, completely ignoring Hiyoshi. "At one point, I should whip out a machine gun and yell, 'GO! GET TO THE CHOPPAH!'"

"What?" said everyone else.

"You know," said Momo. "From Predator."

"Obviously," said Hiyoshi. "But that just wouldn't make any sense. At all."

"Well, maybe instead of making it just a parody of Grease, we could try to make it a comprehensible story featuring characters from all kinds of well known movies…" Momo said as if they hadn't already thought up an idea that they were going with. "One of which is from the Predator movie."

No one knew how to react to this.

"And then Kamio can—" Momo started but then he gasped dramatically and threw his hands over his mouth. "OH MY GOD."

"What now?" said Hiyoshi with an exasperated sigh.

"What if we parodied…OUR CAPTAINS," said Momo.

Everyone was going to initially refute his idea, but they then considered it.

"Tezuka, that would be me," Momo started. "Can be trying to get to the choppah. Meanwhile, Kentarou and Atobe are singing about summer loving, but it's actually Hiyoshi and David."

"What about us?" said Shinji. "Both of us have Tachibana as a captain."

"Maybe we could give Tachibana a split personality like in that movie…" Momo trailed off.

"Psycho?" Hiyoshi suggested.

"Yeah!" said Momo. "One of you could dress up as an old lady and that's Tachibana's split personality."

"Oh, way to give away the end of the movie for me, thanks a lot," said David, looking annoyed.

Everyone smacked him.

"So what do you think, guys?" said Momo. "That way, we could parody movies AND our captains and hope that they have good humor about the situation and don't end up benching us for the season."

"You know, even though it goes against my better judgment," Hiyoshi said. "I think I like your idea. It is so parody oriented that no one can accuse us of not being true to the genre."

"I don't know if I'll be able to pretend to be Tachibana's split personality, which is an old lady," Kamio said. "You'll have to do it, Shinji."

"No one will get it," said Shinji.

"We'll just have to explain it at the beginning then," said Momo. "Maybe, right when the skit starts, we can introduce who we are. Or just go on the stage pretending to be those people."

"What, you mean calling each other by the name of our captains instead of our actual names?" said Hiyoshi.

"Yeah," said Momo. "Everyone will THINK we have gone crazy, when in reality, we are masterminds of parody."

"I like the way you think, Momo," said David. "Even though there are absolutely no visual similarities between me and Kentarou, we'll just have to urge people to use their imaginations!"

"All right, I'll go for it," Shinji said.

"Me too, I guess," Kamio shrugged.

"I'm in," Hiyoshi said coolly.

"All right!" cheered Momo. "Let's get to acting like our captains!"


	23. Without Costumes, We'll Surely Fail

Chapter XXIII- "Without Costumes, We'll Surely Fail."

"This is the perfect opportunity to unveil the new meaning of our team acronym," said Horio to his fellow freshmen.

"Why, because no one will take us seriously?" Ryoma questioned.

"No, because they _will _take us seriously!" Horio announced.

"How are they going to take us seriously if we are in the middle of doing a skit that is supposed to be in the fantasy genre?" Dan asked.

"Just work with me," said Horio. "We have to think up a new meaning for the 'WTF' that we have been branded for."

"I think it's probably more important to think up a plot for our skit," said Kachirou nervously.

"Do you guys want to be known as the Worst Team Forevermore?" Horio demanded. "Let's think up a new meaning for those letters so we won't feel as inferior."

"But we're naturally inferior because we're freshmen!" said Katsuo as if he was happy about it. Then Ryoma cleared his throat. "Except Ryoma. Cause he's the Prince of Tennis."

"Holler," said Ryoma.

"Well, whatever then," said Horio. "I'LL think up a new meaning for the acronym and you guys think of a plot for the skit."

"But we need all of our brain power to come up with the best skit ever!" said Kachirou.

"We managed to place above the 2nd years, but we also have to place above the 3rd years!" said Katsuo.

"You know, there are other teams in the competition that we're up against as well," Ryoma pointed out.

"But the years are the only ones that matter!" said Katsuo. "Because they're representing their years."

"Yeah!" agreed Kachirou. "If we beat the 2nd and 3rd Year Teams then that's like beating them ALL which proves that Freshmen are the best!"

"Whatever," said Ryoma.

"You're right!" said Horio. "If that's the case, then I'll help out too and think of a different acronym later!"

"What's our genre again?" said Ryoma as if they hadn't just mentioned it five seconds ago. In fact, he probably DID remember it and was just pretending he didn't remember so he could seem cool like he didn't care about the outcome of the competition even though it's obvious he did since it involved a tennis camp and whether or not he was allowed to go.

"Fantasy…" Dan pondered. "That shouldn't be too hard. As long as we include some unicorns and elves, we're all set."

"I don't know about that Unicorn thing," said Ryoma. "Unless you have any Unicorn costumes lying around."

"Unfortunately, I don't have any of those," said Dan.

"But, considering it IS October and it's ridiculously close to Halloween…" Katsuo began. "I'm willing to bet that the seasonal store in the mall is open with Halloween costumes!"

"Yeah!" said Kachirou. "I bet that's where the clever 3rd years got THEIR costumes for the talent show!"

"To the mall!" shouted Team WTF as they were just about to jump up into the air but then Horio ran over and stopped them.

"Hold it!" he said.

"What?" said the other freshmen.

"Think about this for a nano," said Horio. "If we go to the costume store and buy costumes, then it'll look like we're taking ideas from the 3rd years! Then that'll make it look like we idolize them and think they're better than us!"

"But they ARE better than us!" said Kachirou. "We're only freshmen!"

"No!" said Horio. "We have to come up with our own ideas and not rely on the 3rd years! Originality is what is going to win us this competition!"

"Well, think about it," said Ryoma. "Team 3rd Year came in second place. We came in fourth place. They had costumes. We didn't. If you put two and two together, you'll see that costumes are basically essential."

Horio rubbed his chin thoughtfully and considered Ryoma's statement.

"You're right," he said. "Without costumes, we'll surely fail."

"So…?" Dan said slowly.

"TO THE MALL!" they exclaimed as they jumped up in the air and froze there and turned into a drawing with flower petals blowing by.

Then they unfroze and went to the mall.

"Maybe we should have written our skit first," Dan said as they looked around in the store for costumes.

"Why?" said Horio. "We can all just by a fantasy-ish costume and that'll be our characters in the skit! That way, we won't write certain characters in that don't have costumes available!"

So they scattered about in the shop. And by 'scattered,' I mean split up into two groups. The stupid Freshmen Trio that everyone hates went one way while Ryoma and Dan went the other way. It's not like Ryoma and Dan are friends or anything, but when Dan saw Ryoma go off in the other direction, he decided he wanted to follow him instead of the stupid Freshmen Trio.

"Fairy costumes!" Kachirou said excitedly.

"Fairies are fantasy, right?" said Katsuo.

"Don't get fairy costumes!" said Horio. "That's just ASKING to be made fun of!"

"Why does it matter?" said Katsuo. "It's not like anyone respects us anyway."

"We need something badass," said Horio. "Something AMAZING! Something that will gain us respect from our peers and elders and FORCE them to realize how awesome we are! After all, it seems as though the 2nd and 3rd years all forget that they themselves used to be freshmen at one point."

Horio crossed his arms and felt cool about his recent speech, and of course Kachirou and Katsuo admired him for it.

"Okay, what should we get?" Katsuo said.

Just then, Ryoma walked over carrying a costume. Dan was chasing after him. "I found this Legolas costume and I'm buying it so you guys better not copy me," Ryoma told them.

"Maybe we can ALL get a Legolas costume and we can ALL be badass elf archers!" said Horio.

Ryoma glared. "Excuse me," he said as he pointed at himself. "Prince of Tennis." Then he pointed at Horio. "NOT the Prince of Tennis. Get it?"

"Okay…" Horio hung his head in shame.

"And I found this fairy costume!" said Dan as he held up a green fairy costume that came complete with the wings and a wand and all that other jazz.

The others only stared at him.

"Look, I tried to tell him not to," said Ryoma.

"No, it's fine, whatever…" said the Freshmen Trio.

"What?" said Dan, looking confused as to what the issue was with him wearing a frilly fairy costume.

"Anyway, what else is in fantasy?" Kachriou asked as he continued to look up and down the isle.

"That's it!" Horio practically screamed as he slammed his fist into his palm and looked triumphant. The others waited for him to say something but he just continued to stand there and remain silent.

"What's 'it'?" Ryoma finally asked even though the conversation was beneath him. EVERYTHING is beneath him.

"The new meaning of the acronym!" said Horio. "WTF! We're The Best!"

"…That would be WTB," said Dan.

"No it wouldn't," said Horio. Then he paused and thought it over in his head. "Oh right. Never mind."

"How about…" Kachirou pondered. "Winners…That…Finish!"

The others raised an eyebrow at him.

"What about 'Wasn't That Fun'?" Dan asked.

"Or, better yet, 'Wasn't That Fantastic'?" said Katsuo.

"'Weren't They Fantastic'," Ryoma said.

Everyone oohed at his ability to think up something so marvelous.

"So that's what WTF means from now on!" Horio announced. "Let's make sure to tell everyone at the next challenge coming up!"

"Until then, do you think we can attend to more important matters?" Ryoma said.

"Yeah!" said Horio. "How about the three of us get witch costumes?"

"Okay!" said Kachirou and Katsuo.

After purchasing the cheapest version of the witch costumes they could find, they returned back to Horio's house because they were, in case you didn't notice, at Horio's house at the very beginning. Horio's mother, who had two years cooking experience (she didn't cook very much in her earlier years) made them some cookies. And Horio's dad, who had two years tree house building experience, made them a tree house so they could hide out there to concentrate on their work. (Clearly he is a treehouse building GENIUS if he was able to build one so quickly with only two years experience.)

And so the Worst Team Forevermore… I mean… Weren't They Fantastic Team started working on their skit that included three witches, a badass elf archer and a fairy.


	24. Is Paranoia the Same Thing as Fear?

Chapter XXIV- "Is Paranoia the Same Thing as Fear?"

"Why can't we think of any ideas?" Atobe demanded of the other captains sitting around the table. He impatiently drummed his fingers. "_Well?"_

No one answered.

Atobe inspected his fingernails. "Kabaji contacted me and said that his team checked online for some ideas."

"No way," said Tachibana with a sigh. "I only go online sometimes, and people's grammar is so bad it just ends up making me depressed."

"LOLZ!" Kentarou exclaimed.

All of the captains glared at him for that one. Even Yukimura!

"Geez…" said Kentarou, sinking in his seat.

"You have no right to be captain of your team," Tezuka decided right then and there. Somehow those words made it past the filter that converts almost everything he says into something along the lines of, "Don't let your guard down."

"I agree," said Tachibana. "I just didn't want to say anything."

"Aww man…" said Kentarou sadly.

"Guys," said Yukimura. "First of all, I don't think this is constructive for our team atmosphere. Second, I think there are better things we can be doing with our time aside from putting Kentarou down for no reason."

"Well said," said Tachibana.

"You were doing it too," Atobe reminded him.

"Whatever," said Tachibana.

"Anyway," Yukimura led.

"I'm still for the checking online idea," Atobe said.

"Are you kidding?" said Tachibana.

"Yes," said Atobe sarcastically. "It's a joke I just made up."

"We don't want to look like we're copying another group because then we're acknowledging that they have a good idea, thus defeating the purpose of the entire competition!" Kentarou announced.

Atobe sighed and didn't want to admit that Kentarou was right, even though it would absolutely impossible for anyone to ever find out that they had looked online for ideas. Besides, many other teams had looked online. Online is the source of all answers.

So they all sat there clearing their throats awkwardly.

"Okay, so we're horror," Tezuka finally decided to take charge. "Let's think of things that scare us."

"Vampires," Yukimura said almost immediately.

"Wow, that was a quick reaction," Atobe noted.

"I just don't like them," said Yukimura as a shiver ran down his spine.

"I feel like there's a funny story to go along with this irrational fear," Tachibana said, looking amused.

"It's not irrational," said Yukimura. "And I wouldn't mock you for whatever fear you have."

Tachibana lowered his head, looking ashamed. "Frankly," he said. "I have this fear of things that make noises that I can't see."

"Like the boiler room when you're upstairs or something?" Kentarou inquired.

"Yeah, something like that," said Tachibana.

"Why are you afraid of that?" Kentarou raised an eyebrow.

"Well, not specifically that," said Tachibana. "But if I'm walking, and I hear a strange sound and I don't know where it came from then I get all paranoid on whether someone is following me."

"Is paranoia the same thing as fear?" Kentarou said skeptically.

"All right, what are you afraid of then?" Tachibana challenged.

"Turning into a tree," Kentarou replied.

No one knew what to say in response to that.

"You mean physically becoming a tree?" Atobe asked.

"Yeah," said Kentarou. "Just imagine if that happened. It would be awful."

"I guess…" said Atobe. And if he had been standing up, he would have backed away from Kentarou. "I'm going to go with something a little more plausible. Home invasions. Every time I think of a strange man peeking in the window or invading my home, it freaks me out."

"And that's scary because that could actually happen," Tachibana eyed Kentarou.

"You're the one who's afraid of the boiler room," Kentarou reminded him.

"I never said I was afraid of the boiler room," Tachibana pointed out.

"Regardless, I think we're getting somewhere with this brainstorming session," Yukimura noted. "What do you fear, Tezuka?"

"What do I fear?" Tezuka seemed taken aback by the question and had to seriously think about it. "Well, naturally, not being able to play tennis for one reason or another—"

"That was a given, Tezuka!" Kentarou interrupted.

"Yeah, none of us said it because we figured we had all come to the mutual understanding that that was our biggest fear," Atobe said.

"I see…" Tezuka rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps the notion that someone is going to let his guard down strikes fear into my heart, because it can be easily avoided by simply keeping his guard up."

No one was going to tell Tezuka that he was an absolute Looney Toon because they didn't want to have to agree with his defending arguments.

"All right, how can we take these various aspects and turn them into a horribly scary skit?" Yukimura suggested.

"Okay, how about this?" Kentarou started. "There's this guy and he's turning into a tree—"

"We're not going to include that one," Tachibana said immediately.

"What?" said Kentarou. "Why?"

"Because you don't really fear that," Tachibana decided. "You're just saying that to look cool because you feel pressured to be funny in front of your elder peers."

"Huh?" said Kentarou, looking confused.

"I have to agree with Tachibana on that one," said Atobe. "I believe you about as much as I believe people who are afraid of clowns."

"I want to put my foot down right now about people who are afraid of clowns," said Tezuka, putting his hands up. "They are stupid and I hate them."

The other four captains were surprised with Tezuka's sudden declaration.

"Why is that?" Yukimura inquired finally.

"Because," said Tezuka. "Clowns are just people with makeup on. I especially loathe it when teenage girls pretend to be horrified of them and act like they're proud of it, and when a clown walks by they cling to their friends. No one is _actually _afraid of clowns."

"You're right, Tezuka," said Tachibana. "But do you have a right to condemn them so harshly?"

"Yes," said Tezuka plainly.

"All right…we've eliminated some of Tezuka's hostility towards people with fears of clowns…so let's move on…" Atobe said uneasily.

"I think we should just combine all our greatest fears and make one big scary skit!" Kentarou announced.

"Great idea," said Tachibana. "It's right up there with duck and cover."

"Ow, that was harsh," said Kentarou.

"Think about it," said Tachibana. "If we make a skit only about _our _greatest fears then, sure, it'll scare us and everything, but not everyone is afraid of the same things as us. Realistically speaking, our skit would be about someone turning into a tree because he let his guard down while a vampire hears scary noises and his home gets invaded."

Everyone mulled this over.

"I see your point," said Kentarou. "That sounds pretty stupid."

"We have to think of mainstream horror," Tachibana said.

"What is mainstream horror?" Yukimura pondered.

"Zombies," Atobe tried. "And…a little girl singing in the distance."

"That actually is pretty creepy, though," Kentarou said.

"Yeah so," Tachibana led. "We have to think of what would scare other people but we also have to be careful not to copy another movie or else they'll accuse us of doing parody and we'll lose points for not sticking to our genre."

"So I guess we have two options," said Yukimura. "The zombie type movie with ghosts and other creepy elements, or human horror with a murderer and all that jazz."

"Hm…a slasher…" Atobe said thoughtfully. "In which we are all whittled off one by one…that could be absolutely horrifying for everyone to watch."

"What's the scariest way for that to end?" said Tachibana. "Should we figure out who the murderer is or should we all end up dead?"

"It would be more horrific if we ended up all dying," Kentarou said. "But can I be the murderer?"

"Pssssshhhhttt," said the other four captains (EVEN TEZUKA) but then they realized that Kentarou was being serious.

"Why would you kill us?" said Tachibana.

"Because you all constantly make personal jabs at me for being a first year instead of a third year," Kentarou replied.

"Even though that would be a legitimate reason for murdering us, _I suppose_, we don't want to send a ridiculous message that first years are superior to third years," Tezuka said.

"We've got a basic idea of what we have to do," said Yukimura. "Maybe we'll figure out the best ending as we go along! Okay?"

"OKAY!" said everyone, including Yukimura.


	25. I Happen to Find Death Very Funny

Chapter XXV- "I Happen to Find Death _Very _Funny."

"Do you think there's a way to incorporate our Three Musketeer costumes into this skit?" Yanagisawa pondered aloud.

"Probably not," said Oishi, but he was probably just jealous because he didn't get a costume.

"We have to write a mysterious adventure that everyone will be in utter awe of," said Saeki. "Any suggestions?"

"Let's find Carmen Sandiego!" Jirou exclaimed.

"NO THAT'S STUPID," pretty much everyone started to yell, but then they stopped to consider what sort of things could possibly happen.

"Come on, don't leave my hanging!" said Jirou. "I don't like standing here like an idiot."

"Not like an idiot, Jirou," said Ryou, putting his arm around Jirou's shoulder. "Just standing."

"Really?" said Jirou, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes!" said Oishi. "Not only would it make it interesting, but also humorous!"

"We would have to be careful not to make it _too _humorous because that's the job of Team Tall," said Saeki.

They all looked at each other and then laughed heartily at that notion, considering the people that Team Tall was composed of.

"Anyway," said Saeki, wiping a tear from his eye. "We have to somehow find Carmen Sandiego."

"This will be badass," said Ryou. "We could all be gumshoes."

"What is a gumshoe?" said Jirou.

"I'm not exactly sure, but you know they're always like, 'Hello Gumshoes!'" Ryou answered.

"All right," said Saeki. "But one of us should be Carmen Sandiego and run by looking sneaky during the scene changes."

"That's golden," Oishi said.

"Do you think that costume store has a Carmen Sandiego costume?" Yanagisawa inquired.

"That is highly unlikely," said Ryou.

"But let's go anyway!" said Jirou. "Cause I'm bored with just sitting around here!"

They all shrugged and decided to go just for kicks.

"Well what do you know!" Oishi exclaimed as they entered the costume store to see that there was a Carmen Sandiego costume right in front of them.

"Wow," said Saeki. "What are the odds?"

"It's a girl's costume, though," Ryou noted, looking at the back of the costume that was in a little bag and in the kid's section.

"And it's for kids ten to twelve," Yanagisawa said, looking over Ryou's shoulder.

"And us being _third years _and everything, there is certainly no one among us younger than fourteen," Ryou said.

"Yeah, so it probably won't fit any of us," Jirou said with a nod.

"Actually, Jirou, I'd venture a guess that it might fit you," Saeki said.

"What?" said Jirou, looking beyond offended. "Are you saying that I am the size of a ten year old?"

"No," said Saeki. "But a twelve year old, maybe."

"Yeah, Jirou, if you're the only one it'll fit then you have to be Carmen Sandiego," Yanagisawa said. "Besides, it was your great idea."

"No way," said Jirou.

"Come on, don't you want to be the star again?" Oishi said, trying to use his famous Oishi charm.

Jirou considered this possibility. "I don't know…"

"Just imagine it," said Ryou. "We'd be saying; Where in the world is Jirou Sandiego?"

"Well, that sounds awesome and everything…" Jirou said, just trying to be annoying.

"All right, now you're just trying to be annoying," Yanagisawa pointed out as Ryou threw the costume at Jirou.

"Okay, okay!" said Jirou. "I'll be Jirou Sandiego! But _only _if you call me that!"

"Let's find detective hats and magnifying glasses," Saeki said to the others.

"Hey, does Carmen Sandiego ever kill anyone?" Ryou asked as they all started looking around.

"No," Oishi answered. "She mostly only just steals national monuments like… the Eifel Tower… or Mt. Rushmore. You know, stuff like that."

"Really?" Ryou raised an eyebrow. "How does she accomplish that?"

"I don't know…" Oishi said.

"Isn't Mt. Rushmore like…a mountain?" Yanagisawa questioned.

"Don't ask me how she does it," Oishi said. "Maybe it's metaphorical. Like she's holding it hostage and going to destroy it unless they pay her a certain amount of money."

"That's dumb," said Ryou. "We should make her kill people."

"Why, do you want to turn Carmen Sandiego into a murderer?" Saeki said, looking amused.

"Well, I just thought it might be funny if Jirou killed Oishi again," Ryou admitted.

"Hey!" said Oishi, putting his hands on his hips.

"It's nothing personal," Ryou assured him.

"Well, I don't want to be killed again," Oishi said firmly.

"Which is fine because Jirou Sandiego doesn't plan on killing anyone," Jirou said.

"Good, because there's nothing funny about death," Oishi announced as if he was some sort of public service announcement.

"I happen to find death _very _funny," Ryou said.

"What?" demanded Oishi, looking very concerned.

"I was just kidding!" said Ryou.

"Oh good," said Oishi. "I was worried that I was going to have to get you some professional counseling."

"Hey, can I have a pipe?" Yanagisawa said as he picked up a prop pipe.

"Absolutely," Saeki said as if he was in charge. Actually, technically, he sort of is since he's the captain and everything.

"Hey, since it seems kind of ludicrous for Jirou Sandiego to steal mountains and large buildings, how about we have her steal some kind of expensive jewel?" Jirou suggested.

"That seems to make much more sense," Saeki said. "Jirou, you're full of great ideas today."

"I'm _always _full of great ideas!" Jirou announced. "It's just that no one listens to me because they think that I'm _not _full of great ideas!"

"Or maybe your delivery is just off," Ryou noted.

"Huh?" said Jirou.

"All right, now it won't seem completely random when we announce that Jirou Sandiego has stolen the moon or something," said Oishi.

"The moon?" Jirou said as his eyes lit up. "Jirou Sandiego wants to steal the moon!"

"Oh no," said Yanagisawa. "He's speaking in the third person now!"

"No, I'm just saying that the _character _Jirou Sandiego wants to steal the moon," said Jirou.

"I thought we were just talking about how it would be outrageous for Jirou Sandiego to steal a mountain or large building, let alone the moon," said Saeki.

"Yeah, yeah!" said Jirou. "But wouldn't it also be unfair to belittle Jirou Sandiego's abilities by forcing him to steal a valuable jewel instead of something grand like the moon?"

"Uh…" the other four said as they looked at each other because they didn't have an intelligent way of responding to Jirou's comment.

"Please?" said Jirou. "I'm the one who has to go through the humiliation of wearing the costume."

"All right, all right," said Saeki. "But we have to address the problems that would occur if the moon were to suddenly disappear. I mean, what about the tides and all that stuff?"

"Yeah, I think the entire world would basically crumble within a day if the moon suddenly went missing," said Oishi.

"I think we're all missing the big picture here," said Ryou. "Where would you _put _the moon? If it's not hovering around in outer space, where is it?"

"Technicalities!" said Jirou with a laugh. "I say we leave all that minor stuff to the viewers at home!"

"And just try to ignore the fact that the world would be destroyed?" Yanagisawa said.

"Yes," said Jirou. "It's all part of Jirou Sandiego's master plan!"

"Oh, so Jirou Sandiego is not going to murder Oishi but he's willing to destroy the entire earth?" Saeki said.

Jirou initially looked stumped, but he finally just got a serious expression and nodded. "Yes!"

"Guys, let's just let Jirou steal the moon and pretend as though it's a completely plausible thing," said Oishi reasonably.

"Fine, fine," said Ryou. "We won't start discussing the horrible things that would happen in the event that the moon would be stolen. And we won't address the fact that you really just can't steal the moon."

"Yay!" cheered Jirou as he threw some confetti up in the air.

"Can I be the person who tells you all that Jirou stole the moon?" Yanagisawa requested.

"_Jirou _didn't steal the moon," said Jirou. "_Jirou Sandiego _did."

"Same thing," said Yanagisawa.

"No," said Jirou. "_Jirou Sandiego_ is an evil mastermind who will steal the moon. _Jirou_ plays tennis."

"Whatever!" said Yanagisawa.

"Anyway," said Saeki. "Yanagisawa, yes, you can tell us that the moon was stolen."

"Maybe we can be gumshoe musketeers…" Ryou contemplated.

"I don't think there's a way to incorporate the musketeer costumes," said Oishi.

"Besides…" said Saeki. "I think only one of us can be the gumshoe. The other people have to be witnesses."

"Oh yeah," said everyone else.

"Any preferences?" Saeki asked. "Oishi? Since you had a small part in the other performance, do you want to be the gumshoe?"

"That way, when you thwart Jirou Sandiego in a plan to steal the moon, it'll be like payback for the time I stabbed you!" Jirou said.

"Well…all right," said Oishi with a shrug.

"So the two of us are witnesses," said Saeki.

"Can I be a Mexican witness?" asked Yanagisawa as he grabbed a poncho off the rack. "A Mexican witness with a pipe?"

"You guys don't have to ask my permission," Saeki said.

"All right!" cheered Yanagisawa. "I'm a Mexican witness with a pipe!"

"This is going to be a good skit," said Oishi to Saeki.

"I think so too," Saeki said with a nod.

Then they went off to purchase their costumes.


	26. Tennis is Action Packed, Isn't It?

Chapter XXVI- "Tennis is Action Packed, Isn't It?"

"Listen up, team," said Mizuki as he slapped a pointer against an easel that had nothing written on it. "In the last challenge, we came in first place. We have started strong. Now is not the time to slack off. We have to show everyone that we're still the best and our winning wasn't just a fluke or beginner's luck. We are the hardworking team and we have to prove to everyone that our hard work pays off!"

"That's great and everything, Mizuki, but _I'm _the captain of this team," said Kaidou as he stood up and swiped the pointer from Mizuki. "And, as captain, I elect Inui to come up with another good idea."

He handed the pointer to Inui and then sat back down. Mizuki looked like he was going to complain but then he just decided to let it lay and he sat down as well.

Inui took the pointer and got to his feet. "This pointer is a little…pointless," he observed as he put it down. Then he took a look at the easel. "I think a marker would be my weapon of choice."

"I have one," said Yuuta randomly as he handed Inui a marker.

"Thank you, Yuuta," said Inui as he turned back to the easel. He wrote the word 'ACTION' at the top and underlined it.

"What were the requirements again?" Shishido said, raising his hand politely. "Five minutes at least, and everyone needs a speaking part. Was that it?"

"Basically," Inui answered. "It is also crucial that we come in first, second or third place because there are going to be extremely detrimental penalties for everyone else."

"No problem," said Kaidou, crossing his arms.

"We have set the bar for the previous challenge!" Mizuki announced, standing up and passionately shaking his fist in the air. "Everyone else is striving to defeat us, which is why we have to do even better than the first presentation!"

"Why are you acting like that, Mizuki?" Yuuta said, covering his face and looking embarrassed _for _Mizuki.

"I'm just trying to rally the troops," Mizuki answered. "Everyone on this team is so boring. You all just sit around and do internal rallying."

"That's how we get rallied up," said Shishido.

"We just used the word 'rally' in three different ways," Inui said.

"So we did," Kaidou nodded.

"We just didn't use 'rallies'," Yuuta added.

Mizuki only sat there looking horrified. "That's it!" he said. "You guys are ultimately boring. I say we do something fun!"

"Something fun?" Shishido repeated. "What are we supposed to do? Did you not notice when they told us we had to make a skit?"

"Yeah, but we can take a little break from brainstorming," Mizuki shrugged.

"You were the one who was trying to 'rally the troops' literally one minute ago," Inui reminded him.

"That was then, this is now," said Mizuki. "You guys are bordering on hopeless. Sure, you work hard and everything, but all work and no play makes Mizuki a dull boy!"

"Under normal circumstances, Mizuki, I would tell you to just leave," said Kaidou. "But all of us need a speaking part in order for this to work. It's part of the guidelines."

"Okay, so maybe we don't have to _go _anywhere," said Mizuki. "But maybe we could _do _something fun."

"Like?" Shishido yelled with his ultimately skeptical and sarcastic voice that he was using only to make Mizuki feel like anything he said would be futile.

"How about Twister?" Mizuki said as he pulled a Twister mat and the spinner out from behind his back. "It's the hot spot."

Inui slapped his forehead. "We obviously have different and more important things to do."

"I don't want the detrimental penalty that gets progressively worse as our placement gets worse," Yuuta said, looking uncomfortable.

"Geez, Mizuki, we're not going to waste time playing twister when we're supposed to be writing a skit," said Kaidou, rolling his eyes.

"I can tell you all _want _to play," said Mizuki, waving the mat around.

"No, Mizuki, we don't," Shishido said harshly as he looked back at Inui. "Could we get something done? I'd rather not stay up all night practicing again, but I will if I have to."

"Ditto," chimed the others, save Mizuki.

"Save Mizuki indeed," Mizuki said as he dropped his Twister implements and slouched into his chair.

"Now that we have that interruption out of our way," Inui said, uncapping the marker and underlining 'ACTION' again. "Does anyone have any bright ideas?"

"Action is going to be difficult because we don't have the luxury of stunt doubles, a budget or special effects," Shishido said. "That means no explosions, no car chases, and certainly no dramatic drops from a helicopter."

"In retrospect, I think we should have chosen something else," Yuuta commented.

"No, we're fine," Kaidou assured him.

"All we have to do is start thinking," Inui said. "Things will fall into place."

Everyone put their hands on their chins and began to ponder.

"Anyone come up with any ideas yet?" Mizuki asked.

No one answered.

"Okay…so how about we play some Twister then?" Mizuki tried.

"Mizuki…" Yuuta sighed.

"Say," said Shishido slowly. "Tennis is action packed, isn't it?"

"That is a fact," Kaidou said. "You have an idea?"

"What if we did a dramatic tennis skit?" Shishido suggested.

"Dramatic?" Inui said. "Do you think there's enough action in tennis to qualify it was 'dramatic'?"

"Yeah, of course," Shishido said. "We could do an epic tennis thing. It would be great."

"It could work," Yuuta said optimistically. "Maybe we could find some sound effects too."

"We would have to make it even more dramatic than your every day tennis match, though," Inui said. "Like have the fate of the world hanging in the balance of the single match."

"So an evil mastermind says he'll destroy the world if the hero doesn't play a tennis match against him," Kaidou tried.

"Or, instead of tennis, we could make it a Twister game," Mizuki said.

"Enough about Twister," Shishido ordered.

"I'm just being annoying now," Mizuki said, looking smug and maybe even a little content.

"Obviously," Shishido threw a glare at Mizuki for good measure.

"Anyway?" Yuuta said, clearing his throat and trying to avoid any more confrontation.

"Right," Inui said, stepping away from the easel to reveal that he had been scribing all of the ideas—even the ones concerning Twister. "Let's consider the roles that would involve."

"Hero, evil mastermind," Kaidou counted on his fingers.

"Referee," Yuuta added.

"Evil mastermind's lackey," Shishido tried. "And the hero's sidekick."

"Is this hero suddenly a _super_ hero?" Inui asked.

"Maybe it would be better that way," Shishido said. "That way he can have super human tennis abilities that real people can't do in real life."

"I see," said Inui as he finished writing the five names on the easel. "Does anyone want to be someone in particular?"

"Could I be the evil mastermind?" Mizuki raised his hand.

"No," said Inui.

"Why not?" Mizuki demanded.

"Because you annoy me," Inui answered plainly. "And you're being counterproductive to our plan making process."

"You wrote down all my ideas," Mizuki pointed at the easel.

Inui looked at the easel. "So I did," he commented. "But that's just because I was in the zone."

"I see," said Mizuki.

"Does anyone _else _have any preferences?" Inui asked.

"We don't care," the others answered.

"Very well," said Inui as he magically accumulated a hat and five pieces of paper with the names of the five roles on them. "We'll just pick these names out of this hat in order to determine who gets each role. Everyone come up and take a paper."

One by one, the other four members of the team took the papers out of the hat and then Inui kept the last one for himself.

"I got the worst role ever," Mizuki complained.

"Referee?" Inui tried and Mizuki nodded. Inui wrote Mizuki's name down. "And my role has been decided that I will be the evil mastermind's lackey. Joy."

"I'm the hero," said Shishido, trying not to sound _too _proud of himself as he showed everyone the paper.

"Great," said Kaidou sarcastically, showing his paper that said 'sidekick'. It's not like Kaidou has anything in particular against Shishido that would make him loath being his sidekick, but Kaidou basically was going to be unhappy with any role that involved him _not _playing tennis.

Yuuta opened his paper and frowned. "I'm the evil mastermind," he reported.

"That hardly works at all," Mizuki said. "Let's trade, Yuuta."

Yuuta was about to say, "NEVER!" but then he realized that this would have been a good thing for him. He didn't want a lot of lines or to do anything embarrassing so being the referee would be the best role for him. Besides, Mizuki wanted to be the evil mastermind in the first place so it seemed like everyone would be happy in the end.

"All right," Yuuta said, offering Mizuki the paper.

"Happy day!" Mizuki cheered. "I'm the evil mastermind now."

Inui looked disgruntled because he didn't want Mizuki to get what he wanted, and he _especially _didn't want to be Mizuki's lackey.

"Does anyone else want to trade?" he offered. "Kaidou?"

"No," said Kaidou. "If I'm going to be a non tennis playing sidekick then I might as well be on the team that wins."

"Fine," said Inui. "I don't care anyway." But you could tell he did.

"Should we develop a script now?" Shishido asked.

"No, I think we should play Twister now," Mizuki said. "We deserve it after all our hard work."

The others were about to light their torches and run Mizuki out of town, but they considered his statement. Yes. They _did _deserve at least one game of celebratory Twister before they buckled down and the _real _work began.

"All right," they said finally, and then argued over who got to be the spinner.


	27. Yet, From the Darkness Emerges…

Chapter XXVII- "Yet, From the Darkness Emerges…"

"Welcome, welcome!" exclaimed Ryuuzaki as all of the forty tennis players showed up at exactly the right time. Though, they weren't as thrilled as Ryuuzaki and the other coaches were.

"We have been so excited about seeing these skits and we're expecting them to be amazing," Ojii warned.

"But, before we start, we have a few minor announcements," Banji said.

"Yes, for all of you idiots who can't count, you might notice that eight groups of five means there are only forty people," Sakaki said.

There was a wave of silence among the group.

"For the record," Inui said as he raised his hand. "I noticed, I just didn't say anything because the less people I had to compete with was better for me."

"Well we don't believe you," said Ryuuzaki.

"I believe you, Sadaharu," said Renji.

"Thank you, Renji," said Inui.

"Anyway," Sakaki continued. "The remaining five people that would make the count up to forty-five are five individuals who are on what is called 'The Waitlist'."

"But we felt bad for them so we decided to make a team just for them!" Ojii said.

Everyone gasped dramatically and looked around for those people.

"But their team will be different than yours," said Banji. "Because they are not an _official _team, they have special exceptions."

"They will participate in all of the challenges _after _this one," said Sakaki. "But instead of competing to place, they are competing to get off of the waitlist. After this competition, from then on they will be in the competitions as well."

"However, every team who places _beneath _them will receive a penalty," said Ryuuzaki. "You will have to send one of your teammates to the Waitlist Team and, in return, a member of the Waitlist Team will join your team."

There was more dramatic gasping.

"Naturally, the people in first, second and third won't count," said Sakaki. "So even if the Waitlist Team places first, only the teams that placed forth and lower will receive the penalty."

"This is even _more _incentive for you to do better!" said Banji. "Because, if by the end of the small challenges you are on the Waitlist Team, then you have no opportunity to compete in the big challenge to go to the tennis camp."

"The horror!" everyone exclaimed.

"I feel like we should change our skit to an exact recount of what just happened," Atobe said to his teammates, crossing his arms.

"Who is on this Waitlist Team?" Marui asked. "Jackal, right? I've been wondering what happened to him."

"Yes, he is on the Waitlist Team," said Ojii. "Along with Niou and Yagyuu from Rikkai Dai, Ishida from Fudomine and Akutsu from Yamabuki."

"Akutsu?" Sengoku repeated loudly. "Why did _he _sign up for the tennis camp? I thought he quit tennis."

"Yes…" said Banji slowly. "However, he said he specifically was only competing in the challenges just so one of you wouldn't be able to go."

They all stared at Banji.

"But you let him do it anyway?" Gakuto practically demanded.

"Yes," said all the coaches.

"But enough with all that hullabaloo!" exclaimed Ryuuzaki. "Let's get started with the skits we've been looking forward to for so long!"

"Could you tell us what the detrimental penalty is first?" requested Tachibana.

"No!" said all the coaches.

"We will decide the order based on who won the previous challenge," said Sakaki. "So, basically, Team Hard Workers will go first, then Team 3rd Years, then Team Captains and so forth."

"So get up here, Team," said Ojii. "We're expecting great things from you!"

"You won't be disappointed," Shishido assured them as they got up on the stage, all making sure they were clad in some sort of attire that involved the color orange, since that's their team color after all.

Everyone waited eagerly as they got on the stage in their ready positions, which pretty much involved the entire team being backstage with the exception of Mizuki who stood in the middle.

Suddenly, he looked up and said, "In a world where evil rules all."

"Lord Mizuki!" said Yuuta as he ran out on the stage. "No one can oppose you!"

"People push each other over to get closer to the one man who has the power," Mizuki continued, acting as though Yuuta wasn't there.

"Lord Mizuki, there might be a problem," Inui said less than convincingly as he stepped on the stage as well.

"The people of the world have no one to turn to," Mizuki said, striking a pose.

"Isn't there anyone who can stand up to the evil overlord?" Kaidou questioned as he stepped up on the stage and pointed at the crowd.

"Yet, from the darkness emerges…" Mizuki said slowly.

There was a slight pause and nothing happened. Mizuki, Yuuta and Inui exited stage right just as Shishido came strolling out on the stage swinging a tennis racket in his hand and whistling casually. Everyone in the audience was secretly excited because they love tennis. Kaidou looked over at him and then approached him.

"What are you doing with that?" Kaidou said.

"I'm going to go play tennis," Shishido answered.

"Are you crazy?" Kaidou said. "Lord Mizuki outlawed tennis."

The entire crowd gasped dramatically.

"I don't care what Lord Mizuki says," Shishido said as he WAY overacted. "I like to play tennis and no evil overlord is going to stop me from playing!"

What followed was the most overdramatic and drawn out scene of Shishido pretending to play tennis against a wall. Nothing was really happening aside from that until Inui suddenly stepped onstage and ordered Shishido to follow him back to Mizuki's evil lair.

Shishido obliged because he "wasn't afraid of a challenge." Kaidou followed because he had nothing better to do.

When they arrived, Mizuki was sitting on a chair that was clearly supposed to be a throne.

"Lord Mizuki, I caught this one here playing tennis," Inui said.

"What?" demanded Mizuki as he stood up and looked outraged.

"That's right!" Shishido said, pointing at Mizuki. "I have reason to believe that you only outlawed tennis because you're afraid that someone out there might be able to beat you!"

"Ridonkulous!" Mizuki said with a wave of his hand, and all the other actors rolled their eyes because they had previously discussed with Mizuki that they didn't want him to say that, and had finally gotten him to agree, but he clearly lied. CLEARLY. "Bring my racket to me, and I will show you who will beat who!"

Yuuta ran out and handed Mizuki a racket.

Then another extremely drawn out tennis sequence began with Inui, Yuuta and Kaidou periodically commenting, interrupted and pretty much just being annoying whenever they had the chance. The match actually went on longer than anyone had intended and there's only so long you can watch people fake playing tennis while making up moves and saying the names of their moves.

Finally, when it was all said and done, Mizuki clutched his heart and had a very long death. Once he was dead, the scene resembled something very much like that scene in the Wizard of Oz when the guards realize that the witch is dead. Then they all hoisted Shishido up into the air and paraded off stage.

Then they all came back and did their bows as the crowd clapped.

"There you have it!" said Ryuuzaki as she stood up.

"The team that placed first in the previous challenge has just set the bar that all of you have to strive to beat," Sakaki said.

"No problem," various people whispered to various members of their team.

"If memory serves correctly," said Banji, scratching his head. "The team that placed second in the previous challenge is Team 3rd Years. So that means you are all next."

"All right!" Jirou jumped up into the air. "Everyone see that bar? Prepare to have it RE-SET!"

"Not likely," said Kaidou, shaking his fist at Jirou and his teammates.

"Please don't make any enemies," Saeki said, trying to calm Jirou down.

"Team 3rd Years will be doing 'Mystery'," said Ojii. "Take it away team."

The crowd fell silent in anticipation.


	28. Our Team Name is the Form of a Question!

Chapter XXVIII- "Our Team Name is in the Form of a Question!"

"Ready everyone?" said Saeki to his teammates as they donned their various costumes. The others nodded eagerly, and then Saeki whipped out a tuner and blew into it so it played a steady note.

This intrigued everyone.

Then, all at once, the entire Team 3rd Years began to snap their fingers and… sing.

_"Well, he glides around the globe and he'll flimflam every nation, he's a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery. His itinerary's loaded up with moving violations, tell me…"_

"Where in the world is--" Jirou said as he jumped out from the group and shrugged his shoulders in an over-animated fashion.

"Jirou Sandiego," chimed the rest of the group in the lowest voices they could muster.

Everyone in the crowd was just sitting there with their jaws on the ground as Jirou swashed his cape and ran off the stage. The others departed from the stage as well with the exception of Oishi who stood alone, looking around like he was waiting for something to happen.

"Gumshoe!" said Ryou as he walked onto the stage and Oishi turned around.

"Chief!" Oishi said.

"Jirou Sandiego's detachment of diabolical desperados has struck again!" said Ryou flawlessly as if it was by far the most important line to remember. "This time, he went for the big one. Jirou Sandiego has stolen…"

Ryou paused for the drama.

"THE MOON."

It worked because everyone gasped. Dramatically.

"The moon?" Oishi exclaimed.

"Yes," said Ryou as he turned and faced the crowd. "The Moon, or Luna in Latin, is Earth's only natural satellite and it is the fifth largest moon in the solar system. The moon is slightly more than a quarter the size of the Earth and its gravitational pull is only about one sixth of our home planet." Ryou then faced Oishi again. "You heard me correctly, Gumshoe. You have to double up on double trouble, put the moon back in it's rightful place and then _capture Jirou Sandiego!_"

"WOO!"

There was a cheer from the crowd, and everyone looked around frantically to see who had done it, but it was indistinguishable. But it's not like they were angry or anything since they all wanted to do it too.

"Thanks, Chief, I won't let you down," Oishi assured Ryou.

Ryou left the stage and, in his place, Yanagisawa stood with a pipe, a poncho and a sombrero.

"Say," said Oishi as he approached Yanagisawa. "Did you happen to see where Jirou Sandiego went after he stole the moon?"

"Hm…" Yanagisawa said as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

Their skit continued in this manner for quite the while until Oishi eventually found Jirou Sandiego, played by Jirou. Apparently, he had used a shrink ray on the moon and was now parading around with a moon that looked remarkably like a tennis ball.

Oishi and Jirou proceeded to have a battle over who got to keep the moon. Of course, Oishi had to rise victorious because otherwise we, the innocent folk of Earth, would be without a moon. Once Jirou Sandiego was behind bars, Oishi took the tennis ball and held it up triumphantly.

"Well, Gumshoe," said Ryou as he walked back on the stage. "It looks like you really proved yourself. You solved the mystery and captured Jirou Sandiego! Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Chief," said Oishi as his smile went PING!

Then the five of them got together and repeated their rendition of "Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?"

On the last "Doo-waaaah" they all gave a generous bow, and received quite the generous applause.

"AMAZING!" shouted the coaches as they clapped until their hands got sore.

The Hardworkers gave each other inexplicable expressions that others had a difficult time reading. The rest of the crowd was still pumped after seeing such an enthralling adventure wrought with so much mystery.

"That will certainly be a difficult act to follow because I already know that I'm going to be biased towards this group no matter what anybody else does," said Ryuuzaki. "That being said, let's move on! Team Captains!"

"That _will _be a difficult act to follow," said Kentarou. "But we'll scare everyone with our horrible slasher!"

"Horrible?" Tachibana raised an eyebrow.

"Horrible as in bloody and brutal, not the quality," said Kentarou, putting his hands on his hips as if he were disappointed with Tachibana for making that kind of mistake.

"Let's just get this over with," said Tezuka because he knew better.

Meanwhile, the 3rd Year Team was all sitting down, feeling proud of themselves.

"I think it was a good idea to add the song," said Jirou. "And you guys said that they wouldn't like the song!"

"I think the song pretty much made the entire skit, actually," Saeki admitted. "Jirou, you're actually very good at thinking up ideas when you bother to pay attention!"

"I recommend paying attention more often," Ryou said.

"Daw, you guys are just saying that!" said Jirou as he took off his ridiculous Carmen Sandiego hat.

"That's enough talking!" ordered Sakaki. "It's time for Team Captains to show us their Horror skit!"

"Let's just double check to make sure that everyone on the team is wearing at least one article of blue clothing," Ojii pointed out.

"Oh right!" chuckled the other coaches.

The captains all looked at each other. They had actually forgotten about the color thing and were hoping that everyone else had remembered as they frantically checked to make sure everyone had donned at least one piece of blue.

"Check, check, check, check…" Banji went down the line but stopped once he got to Tachibana. "Oh. Tachibana. You're not wearing anything blue."

"Yes I am," Tachibana said as if just SAYING it would convince them.

"You know the rules!" said Ryuuzaki. "We said that if you everyone wasn't wearing their team color during the competition then the team would be automatically disqualified!"

"But…" Tachibana started.

"No buts!" said Ryuuzaki. "If you're not wearing any blue then your team is disqualified!"

The rest of the captains turned their heads slowly and glared at Tachibana with utmost hatred in their eyes.

"I _almost _wore jeans today!" Tachibana said angrily.

"Wait, so Yukimura's team was just disqualified?" inquired Sanada.

"Right," said Sakaki. "You Captains might as well just sit down because presenting your skit would be pointless."

"Unless you _want _to, because I love watching these skits so far," said Ojii.

"Yeah right," said Atobe. "Pointless humiliation is pointless if it doesn't have a point."

"Whatever the horrible detrimental penalty is, I hope you're the only one who suffers from it," Tezuka said cruelly to Tachibana.

"Now, now," said Yukimura, trying to remain completely happy and pleasant but you could tell that even _he _was annoyed with Tachibana's lack of team spirit, even though it was only chance that the rest of them had shown up with blue on.

The rest of the teams were secretly rejoicing that Team Captains had been disqualified because it was one less team to compete against and it also guaranteed that none of them would be in last place. Of course, it was also a reminder that they had to double check if everyone was wearing the team color.

"Don't worry, everyone!" said Momo as he stood up in his chair. "The captains will have their moment to shine!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Kentarou.

"Nothing," said Hiyoshi as he grabbed Momo and pulled him back into the sitting position.

"That random outburst certainly has intrigued me," Ojii admitted.

"Well, Team 2nd Years is coming up pretty soon," said Banji reported. "Right after the next team, as it would happen."

"And that next team is the WTF Team!" Ryuuzaki announced.

"Before we begin," Horio said as his team took the stage. "We just want to say that we have finally established what our team acronym means."

"I thought it meant 'Worst Team Forevermore'," Shishido said.

"Really?" said Choutarou since he was, of course, sitting next to Shishido. Both of them were also sitting with their appointed teams too, but the two of them were on the end of their appointed teams where the other team happened to meet. "I thought it meant 'What The F—'"

"It could go either way," Shishido interrupted.

"Oh," said Choutarou with a nod.

"Now it doesn't mean _either _of those!" Horio said as he slammed his fist into his other fist, which only Horio is stupid enough to do. "Our name now officially means 'Weren't They Fantastic?'"

The entire crowd stared at them.

"Wait," said Ryuuzaki. "So you guys are the…WTF? …Team?"

"Yes," sadi Kachirou. "Our team name is in the form of a question!"

"None of you can say _that_!" said Katsuo.

"Hm," said Fuji as he turned to his team. "Kind of makes me want to be… Team Genius…? You know, in the form of a question."

"Okay," said the rest of the team.

"Hey!" said Horio. "You guys can't take the thing that makes us unique!"

"We just did," said Sengoku. "Just now. It _just _happened."

"Enough of this dilly dallying!" said Sakaki, sounding annoyed. "We don't care what the acronym means! It could mean 'We're the Freshmen' for all I care!"

"Hey!" said Dan. "That's actually really good!"

"Yeah!" said Horio. "I like that! 'We're the Freshmen'! How about that's our name, guys?"

"Great!" said Kachirou. "That way, Team Genius? can't steal our fire by having their team name in the form of a question!"

"Well now our team name is, 'We're the Geniuses'!" said Marui. "…Geniuses? You know, in the form of a question."

"NO!" yelled all the freshmen as they threw temper tantrums.

"No more Team Name changing!" said Ryuuzaki. "You guys are still just Team Genius and you guys are Team WTF and we don't care what it stands for."

"Thank you…" said Ryoma, looking relieved.

"Ha!" said Horio to Team Genius.

"We didn't really want to change our name to that stuff," said Oshitari. "We just wanted to be annoying."

"And we're jerks," Kirihara added.

"Speak for yourself," said the other geniuses as they avoided him like the plague.

"Hey…" whined Kirihara. "Why can't I join in on the mocking?"

"Because you're a second year," answered Fuji plainly.

"And _what _is wrong with second years?" said the entire 2nd Year Team but they regretted it because Fuji threw the glare of doom at them.

"Enough, enough!" commanded said Banji. "Team WTF is going to their skit and I am curious about their costumes!"

"They're doing Fantasy," Ojii read. "This should be interesting."

In short, it wasn't interesting. Team WTF had clearly spent _way _too much time brainstorming for their new team acronym because their scene changes were all off and, towards the end, they just started making it up as they went along.

"Haha!" said Horio as he ran around 'flying' on his broomstick. "I'm going to cast a magic spell on you and your unicorn that is always helpfully offstage!"

"Guess who?" said Katsuo as he put his eyes over Kachirou's eyes.

"Uh…Katsuo?" Kachirou suggested.

"…Right…" said Katsuo, looking disappointed. "But guess again anyway!"

"…Katsuo?" Kachirou tried.

"Right again," said Katsuo. "Two in a row! I can't fool you. You saw right through my petty charade."

"I should do good instead of evil with my power!" said Dan righteously.

"I don't want to be part of this anymore," said Ryoma as he walked right offstage.

Everyone who was left afterwards gave a nervous bow as they received a hesitant applause and took their seats back in the crowd.

"All right…" said Ryuuzaki. "That was…different. A little chaotic, but then again, it was fantasy, wasn't it?" She laughed a little, then stopped. "Wasn't it?"

"Yes," said Team WTF.

"Halfway over already?" Sakaki exclaimed. "And we've only seen three skits! Let's just keep going, shall we?"

"Team 2nd Years," said Banji.

"That's us!" said Momo, standing up. "And you'll find that all of us have on _lots _of purple!"

"That you do…" said the coaches all together.

The 2nd Years took the stage and got ready to wow everyone with their performance involving parody.


	29. You Forgot to Duck

Chapter XXIX- "You Forgot to Duck."

"Well?" said Ryuuzaki. "What's the hold up?"

"We just have to get our costumes on," Momo said.

The coaches nodded and allowed this.

All five of the 2nd years turned around for a moment and then simultaneously faced the crowd again except now each of them had a sign around his neck that said the name of his appointed captain. Kamio and Shinji both had Tachibana's name, but Kamio was Tachibana to the first power, and Shinji was Tachibana to the second power.

At first, no one really knew how to react until Hiyoshi finally took a step forward and raised his hand.

"If you were all impressed by the singing presented to you by the 3rd Years, prepare to be awed by…Team Captain," Hiyoshi said he snapped his fingers and then the rest of the 2nd Years struck gangster poses.

"I don't act like that," said Atobe, crossing his arms.

"Yes you do," said Tachibana, looking amused. He was probably just amused because he was entertaining the notion of there being two of him, and he couldn't possibly imagine anything more fabulous than that.

"I don't want to see where this is going," Tezuka sighed, but he couldn't look away as Momo, Shinji and Kamio left the stage. Hiyoshi and David moved to opposite sides of the stage just as music from the heavens started playing, and it was the painfully familiar tune from Grease.

And, as the two of them burst into a poorly choreographed rendition of the Grease theme, Atobe felt like he was going to drill his brain out of his head, while Kentarou was in hysterics.

"I don't look like that!" Kentarou laughed but he loved it. "And I definitely don't _act _like that!"

"For the record, Kentarou and I did _not _have a summer of love," Atobe announced.

"Yeah right," said Tachibana just to be annoying.

"I'm glad I'm not portrayed in this abomination," said Yukimura with a pleasant smile.

Halfway through the song, however, Momo ran out onto the stage and flailed around foolishly. "GET TO THE CHOPPAH!" he yelled.

Hiyoshi and David stopped their song as they watched Momo flail a little more before he ran off stage again.

Then everyone looked at Tezuka.

"I don't know why he thinks that's an accurate portrayal of me," said Tezuka as his facial expression didn't change at all.

"So…" said David to Hiyoshi. "I guess we should probably get to that chopper."

"More Fudomine!" Tachibana ordered.

"Why do you _want _to see them slander your reputation?" Atobe demanded.

"I think it's funny," Tachibana replied.

"It is," said Kentarou. "It's pretty funny."

So they watched some more as the 2nd Years spoofed just about every movie they could possibly think of. Every once and while, they threw something in that their captains say all the time just to remind the crowd that they were _also _spoofing their captains as well. For example, Momo occasionally ordered everyone not to let their guards down as they hiked to Mordor to pull the sword out of the stone. In addition, the split personality of the two Tachibanas was especially prominent during the scene in which they had to travel to Hogwarts in order to defeat Lex Luthor.

When it was finally over, the clap was nervous at first, but eventually everyone realized that it was very entertaining and therefore the second years deserved a hearty applause.

Even the captains had to admit they had fun finding all the things that had been parodied.

"Thank you, thank you!" said all the 2nd Years as they bowed excessively until the coaches had to practically kick them off the stage.

"That was very educational," Sakaki said.

"Interesting choice of words," Ojii commented.

"I'm at a loss, mostly," Sakaki said. "I don't know whether I loved it or I hated it."

"We'll evaluate it fully later," said Banji. "I took notes so I wouldn't forget anything!"

"Overachiever," Sakaki accused.

"Anyway!" said Ryuuzaki before the others could get into an argument. "I think we should just keep going! Only three left! And next is…Team Genius!"

"Or… Team Genius…?" Banji tried. "In the form of a question."

"Or 'We Are Team Genius'," Ojii pointed out. "And _then _in the form of a question."

"I think Team Genius just says it all," Sengoku shrugged.

"Touché," said basically everyone.

"So," said Marui as Team Genius took the stage. "Our genre was tragedy. And this is our skit about how Fuji dies and we all mourn about it."

Everyone was about to raise their eyebrows but quickly withdrew them.

"I'm minding my own business," said Fuji as he walked in place. "And now… I have died."

He put his hand on his forehead and fell to the ground.

"Oh dear," said Oshitari as he walked over to where Fuji was lying. "What a tragedy. Fuji is dead."

"Truly tragic indeed," Sengoku agreed.

Kirihara slapped his forehead.

Because the skit had to be a minimum of five minutes, they all continued to stand there for another four minutes and fifty seconds lamenting about Fuji's death.

"Five minutes yet?" Oshitari inquired of the coaches.

"Technically you have another thirty seconds but I'm bored and Ojii fell asleep!" said Sakaki as he hit Ojii over the head to wake him up. "So you can stop now!"

"Well, thank you for your time," said Fuji as he stood up.

Team Genius left the stage, and then the coaches looked at one another.

"You know something I noticed about Team Genius?" said Banji. "They're underachievers!"

"Among other things," Ryuuzaki said, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway!" said Sakaki. "Next is Team Tall. And it better be good or we will disown all of you as people who play on our team."

"You can say that all you like, but I am not disowning Taka from my team no matter how horrible the skit is," said Ryuuzaki.

"Thanks!" said Taka.

"Hurry up!" ordered Ojii since he was obviously bored.

"Let's do this," said Renji with a sigh to his teammates.

They all had on the red t-shirt they had been giving at the beginning since they weren't ambitious enough to actually go out and get full out costumes. They were fairly certain they were going to fail at humoring anyone so they had practically already thrown in the towel.

"Okay, we're starting," said Bane. "How do you make it start? Scene."

"We'll just assume you started once it gets funny," Banji said.

"Kabaji," Sanada said.

Kabaji came onto the stage (since no one else noticed the fact that he wasn't there before) wheeling a cart in front of him. There was a white tablecloth draped over the cart.

When he came to a stop, he whipped the tablecloth off to reveal several stacks of pies.

"All right!" cheered David.

And, because David cheered, no one else wanted to do it because they didn't want to look like they liked the same thing as David. But they were also secretly very excited.

"Taka," said Renji. "I'll have you know that if brains were gas then you wouldn't have enough power to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny."

"Yeah well you're possessed by a retarded ghost," Taka retorted.

"Why you," Renji said as he picked up a pie and hurled it in Taka's direction.

Taka, however, ducked just in time. The pie connected with Sanada's face who only stood there and took it like a man.

Everyone in the crowd laughed because they loved pies and they especially loved pies in people's face. And they loved it even more because it was Sanada. And Renji. WTF!

"Hahahaha!" chuckled everyone else on the team in a rather forced sounding way, but it was convincing _enough_.

"Oh yeah?" said Sanada as he wiped some pie out of his eyes and then picked up a new one. Then he hit Bane in the face with it.

"Hey!" said Bane.

"You forgot to duck," Taka pointed out.

"Well, so did you!" said Bane as he threw a pie at Taka, but Taka actually _did _duck and the pie instead went right on Renji, which made people laugh again because Renji acted as though it didn't even happen. I mean, even Tezuka had to sort of laugh at that. And when I say 'sort of laugh' I mean the corners of his mouth turned up slightly in warm regard to the events that were occurring in front of him.

"Watch it," said Renji as he flicked Bane's nose.

"Ow!" said Bane, rubbing his nose.

"I'm still here," Sanada raised his hand.

"Oh right," said Bane, picking up another pie and turning around. He then chucked the pie right into Sanada's face _again_.

"Oh Sanada," said Yukimura, looking ever so amused.

"Wait, I already got a pie in the face," said Sanada as he picked up a pie and, without warning, threw it at Taka.

"I was on a roll…" Taka whined as he wiped pie off of himself.

"Hey guys, Kabaji is the only one without pie on his face," Bane pointed out.

The four of them looked at Kabaji who was only standing there looking foolish, which takes a lot when all the people around him are covered in pie, yet he _still _manages to look the most foolish of them all.

There were only four pies left, so everyone was glad it worked out without any problems. They each took a pie and Kabaji stood there like a really ugly tree as they all pelted him with pies.

And that was the icing on the cake as the entire crowd clutched their sides and laughed. It wasn't funny because it was pies in the face. It was funny because it was _those people _with pies in their faces.

"I've got a ladder," said Taka as he picked a ladder up off the floor that they had put there earlier. He began turning around and moving pointlessly as the ladder swung around and everyone else had to dodge and duck in order to avoid being smacked in the face.

Then Renji pulled out a stack of dishes from the bottom level of the cart. He stood there for about two seconds before he bumped into Taka and his crazy ladder antics and then he dropped all of the dishes on the floor except for one.

Taka put down the ladder and they all walked over to Renji who was standing there with the one dish.

"I'm sorry, everyone," said Renji. "I simply had to pick up those dishes."

"And I simply had to pick up that ladder," Taka shrugged.

"Well, don't distress yourself," said Sanada.

"Yeah, you didn't break _everything_," Bane said.

"I guess," said Renji. "We still have this plate."

Then they all looked at Kabaji.

Then, without warning, Renji hit Kabaji over the head with it and it shattered.

"Usu," said Kabaji as if that wouldn't hurt.

There was more laughter, and then bowing.

"That was surprisingly entertaining," said Ryuuzaki as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"We do what we can," said Bane as he handed towels to his teammates.

"How are we supposed to perform our skit with pie all over the stage?" Gakuto demanded, gesturing angrily towards the messy floor.

"Deal with it," said Sakaki. "That was funny."

"All right," said the entire Tall Team as they did a secret handshake that involved elevating their arms to great heights so short people like Gakuto would not have been able to join in on the fun.

"I hate tall people," said Gakuto with a frown.

"I think it's funny how our team is filled with so many short people while theirs is filled with so many tall people," Eiji said. "Hence the name, of course."

"I'm not short," said Choutarou.

"Well obviously," said everyone…IN THEIR MINDS.

"This is the last skit of the day," said Ojii. "Then we will judge and then you will all move on with your lives!"

"Move on with our lives?" Shishido said, standing up in a hurry. "Does this mean we're done with this mindless activity and you've decided who is going to the tennis camp?"

"No," said Ojii. "Sorry for being unclear. By 'moving on with your lives' I meant that you would be moving on with your lives that involve our ridiculous competitions."

"Oh," said Shishido, sitting down.

"It's all right," everyone else said, comforting him since their hopes had also been dashed.

"I just don't feel motivated to do this skit right now," said Gakuto with a heavy sigh.

Everyone was only sort of just half paying attention to him at the time, so he sighed louder.

"I just don't feel motivated to do this skit right now," Gakuto repeated.

"But Gakuto, you have a really important part of this skit," said Eiji.

"I know," said Gakuto, clenching his fist dramatically. "But I'm way too distracted by something."

"Something?" Eiji inquired.

The group of people watching was now confused because they happened to notice that Eiji and Gakuto were the only ones on the stage.

"Yeah…something…" said Gakuto, looking all broody and angsty.

"Is it…Lucinda?" Eiji asked, putting a hand on Gakuto's shoulder.

"I'm _trying _to forget her!" Gakuto started, and then he looked at the crowd. "What are you all staring at? We'll start the skit when we're ready!"

"Can't you tell he's in _pain_?" demanded Eiji. "Have a heart, will you?"

"Oh come on!" came Atsushi's voice as he came walking on the stage, quickly followed Choutarou and Itsuki. "Are you serious? We're in the middle of something important. Is this really the time to be freaking out over something you can't have?"

"That's just the thing!" said Gakuto. "You talk about Lucinda like she's a possession! She's not!"

"You're only saying that because she doesn't belong to you," said Atsushi as he put his hands out for Choutarou and Itsuki to high five.

They did.

"Guffaw," said Choutarou and Itsuki.

"Atsushi is so not a stud and he doesn't have a gang," Ryou whispered to the rest of his team. "This is obviously made up and part of this skit."

"Well obviously," said the rest of the team and anyone else who happened to hear. And Oshitari.

So the skit within a skit continued for a little while and then it was interrupted by more brooding from Gakuto.

"Oh geez," said Gakuto as he walked on the stage with a piece of paper in his hand. "A letter from Lucinda!"

Then Gakuto had a really dramatic monologue that made Ryuuzaki pull out her tissue box and blow her nose and then dab her eyes. (WITH A DIFFERENT TISSUE! IF IT WAS THE SAME ONE THEN THAT WOULD BE GROSS.)

Well, since Ryuuzaki was the only person in the entire crowd who lacked a Y chromosome, she was pretty much the only one who enjoyed it. And then, at the end, when Gakuto got up on a soap box and announced that he wad going to go after Lucinda, Ryuuzaki stood up and cheered.

"I don't think this deserves a standing ovation," whispered Sakaki with a yawn as Gakuto ran off the stage and Eiji bid him a farewell.

"Your mom, Sakaki," said Ryuuzaki as she continued being the only one who was clapping for more than courtesy.

"Anyway!" said Banji as he stood up once he got tired to waiting for Ryuuzaki to sit down. "We have seen eight—"

"Seven," Ojii corrected.

"Oh right," said Banji.

All four coaches glared at Team Captain. And then the captains all glared at Tachibana. And then Fudomine glared at the captains except Tachibana. And, while everyone was distracted, a certain someone got some lovin'.

"We have seen _seven _wonderful skits," said Banji. "And I'm sure you're all eager to see who came in which place! Except Team Captain who knows they came in last."

"Wtf," said Team Captain, glaring at Tachibana _again_.

"So, once again, you may all talk amongst yourselves as we tally up the points and decide your fates," said Ryuuzaki. "And remember, the lower place you get, the worse your horrible punishment will be!"

"And the horrible punishment will affect you in the next challenge," Sakaki reminded them. "And the worse you do in the next challenge, the more chance you'll have at losing one of our teammates."

"I almost feel like we should lose the next challenge on purpose so we can get rid of Tachibana," said Atobe.

"I do _not _suck," said Tachibana.


	30. We Just Basically Rule

Chapter XXX- "We Just Basically Rule."

"So that was a helpful break in time in which we could discuss which skits we liked the most!" said Ryuuzaki.

"Can I just say that this whole thing is completely outrageous and bordering on child abuse?" Gakuto raised his hand.

"You can criticize us all you want but keep your snide remarks to yourself," said Ojii.

"And while you're at it, don't criticize our methods!" Sakaki ordered.

"Anyway," said Ryuuzaki, clearing her throat slightly as she held out her hand for the clipboard. Banji handed it to her and she looked upon the page on top. "As last time, we are grading on a thirty point scale. You can get a maximum of ten points for the acting ability of the participants, ten points for the quality of the skit and then another ten points for integrity to the genre."

"In last place is Team Captain because they were disqualified," Sakaki said flatly.

"Because of Tachibana," said the entirety of Team Captain except for Tachibana because for him to say it would just be dumb.

"So that means that this team will have the most dire of all the consequences," Banji said.

"Obviously," said Team Captain, and Tachibana said it too this time.

"In 7th place, keeping up with their tradition of not putting any effort into anything at all, Team Genius!" Ryuuzaki announced as if it were a joyous thing.

"What?" demanded Kirihara. "What's the breakdown of the points?"

"You asked for that last time," Fuji reminded him.

"We came in sixth last time!" Kirihara practically shrieked. "We're doing _worse_! The only team we placed above was one that was disqualified!"

"People have to change their placings in this competition," said Inui. "It would be unrealistic to believe that you would improve in every challenge when there are seven other teams who expect to improve as well."

"Well said," said Ryuuzaki, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Still," said Kirihara, crossing his arms. "I want to hear the breakdown of the points."

"You sure you want to hear it?" Ojii leaned over and looked at the results on the clipboard and made an uneasy expression.

"Yes!" Kirihara demanded.

"Let's just put it this way," said Sakaki. "You hardly beat Team Captain."

Kirihara looked so shocked that it gave the coaches an opportunity to move onto the next team.

"In sixth place," Ryuuzaki began. "The WTF Team!"

"WHAT?" Horio screamed at the top of his lungs so the world shook off of its axis. That's how it happened, you know. "Our skit was _amazing_!"

"And our team name is 'We're the Freshman' Team!" said Dan.

"That is just so redundant," Kachirou sighed.

"What about, 'We're Team Freshman'?" Katsuo suggested.

"YEAH!" cheered the other freshman.

Except Ryoma. He smacked all of them.

"Shut up," he ordered. "I thought our goal for this competition was to place above the third years and the second years. All we managed to do was place above the Captains and the Geniuses."

Then Ryoma paused for a moment and the other freshmen looked contemplative.

"You know, now that I've said it like that…" Ryoma started. "It doesn't sound that bad."

"Tachibana, if you ever have children, I hope they are deformed," Atobe announced.

"All over a stupid competition?" Tachibana said angrily.

"A competition…that would eventually bring me to a tennis camp," Atobe pointed out. "YEAH."

"You really did ruin _everything_," said Kentarou.

"Can I just say something in my defense?" Tachibana said as he stood up.

"In ten words or less because we're bored with you," said Banji.

"You're all overreacting," said Tachibana. "It's not a big deal."

He counted his words in his head.

"You idiots," he finished.

"Who came in first?" Mizuki demanded as if that pertained to the conversation that was going on.

"Not your team," said Ojii. "Your team actually came in 5th place!"

Everyone on Team Hard Worker looked floored.

"What?" Shishido finally sputtered. "Fifth place? As in… we only placed above the disqualified team, the abysmal team and the disorganized team?"

"Are we the abysmal team or the disorganized team?" Sengoku whispered to the other Geniuses.

"I wish we were the disqualified team," said Marui.

"How did that happen?" said Yuuta, looking distressed and upset. "We worked so hard on our skit and practiced so much!"

"Sometimes hard work alone just doesn't cut it," said Ryuuzaki.

"WE KNOW," said Team Hard Working.

"It's not that your skit was bad or anything…" said Sakaki. "It's just that the four skits that placed above yours were better."

"All right!" cheered the 2nd Year, 3rd Year, Tall and Doubles Teams.

"While the quality of your skit was pretty good," Ojii explained. "The acting was off. But the biggest weak point might have been the whole… lack of action."

"What about the intense tennis matches?" Kaidou practically growled as he drummed his fingers angrily.

"Yeah…tennis matches…" said Ojii. "Right…"

"Let's just get on with it," said Jirou since he was impatient about finding out who the winner was.

"Well, this announcement is for fourth place, as you all probably know considering there are only four teams left that haven't been judged," said Sakaki. "And this is the last team that will have to experience dire consequences since the first, second and third placed teams are not punished."

"Which team is it?" Sanada said as no one told him that he had missed a big chunk of pie on his nose.

"In fourth place…" Sakaki said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Team 2nd Years!"

All at once, there was an immense reaction. Team 2nd Years all began to pout because they were sure they were going to win since they had parodied so many things. At the same time, Teams 3rd Years, Tall and Doubles all called a temporary truce to rejoice with each other since they did not have to experience dire consequences.

"Wow!" said Choutarou. "We came in last place in the other competition, and now we're placing in the top three!"

"And we came in second to last place in the other competition and we're placing in the top three," Taka pointed out.

"We placed second in the other competition," Saeki said with a shrug.

"We just basically rule," Ryou added.

"I think we came in fourth place last time," said Momo with a frown to his second year team.

"Boo," said the rest of the team disappointedly.

"Great reactions, everyone," said Banji. "Do you think we can all move on with our lives now?"

"That depends!" said Jirou. "Are you going to get right to announcing the winner?"

"Well, first we announce 3rd place, _then _we announce the winner," Banji reminded him.

"Speaking of third place…" said Ryuuzaki, trying to get attention, and she certainly succeeded because everyone leaned in to hear what she had to say.

"Regardless of where we place, I'm still happy about our amazing comeback!" Eiji announced.

"Which is good, because you guys are the ones who came in third place," Ryuuzaki said anticlimactically.

Team Doubles looked at each other.

"You _had _to say that, didn't you?" Gakuto crossed his arms at Eiji.

"We would have placed third whether Eiji had said anything or not," Atsushi pointed out.

"Besides, we should be happy!" said Choutarou. "Third place is a _good _thing. It's much better than last place and we narrowly avoided dire consequences."

Team Doubles stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, and then they decided they needed a group hug. So they gave each other one, leaving everyone else only watching and secretly feeling jealous.

A few teams (who will remain unnamed) even tried to have their own little hugfest but they found this was just weird so they promptly stopped.

"Has everyone satisfied their PDA quota for the day?" said Sakaki, raising an eyebrow at the young tennis players.

"Err…yeah…" they all mumbled because they had to admit they were being rather hug happy at a completely random and unnecessary time.

"Good!" said Sakaki. "Because we're about to announce the winner and it is between Team 3rd Years and the surprise Team Tall!"

"We just needed a chance to get into the competition," said Bane.

"Shut up," ordered all the coaches.

"And the winners are…" said Sakaki slowly.

They all leaned in.

"TEAM 3RD YEARS!" Ryuuzaki shrieked just as Sakaki was about to open his mouth to say the answer. This caused everyone to be quite frightened because they had expected Sakaki to speak but they were instead ambushed by Ryuuzaki.

After they got over their initial startledness, Team 3rd Years cheered and celebrated because they had come in first.

Team Tall looked at each other, shrugged and decided to celebrate as well because they had just improved so gosh darned much and proved to everyone that they weren't as lame and underachievery as Team Genius.

"And now," said Banji, interrupting the celebrations. "For the dire consequences."

Everyone in places 8th through 4th gasped dramatically. Those in the first, second and third places chuckled warmly because they didn't have to worry about whatever was going to be inflicted upon the others.

"How long is this dramatic pause going to have to be?" Kamio said as he came very close to dropping to his knees and shaking his fists at the heavens.

The coaches looked at each other deviously and then back at the tennis players.

"As long as it has to be to create enough suspense to keep you coming back for more."


	31. No Tennis Camp is Worth This

Chapter XXXI- "No Tennis Camp is Worth This."

"All right, that was good waiting," said Ryuuzaki. "Do you all remember way back when we forced you all to live in families in separate houses?"

"Yes," groaned everyone who had been apart of that abomination, which is basically everyone except the WTF team minus Ryoma.

"Remember that competition where we asked you questions about your teams?"

"Yes," they all groaned again.

"So this competition is going to be similar to that, but slightly different," Ryuuzaki began. "Each team will have to answer a certain amount of questions out of eight. Once that team reaches that goal, they don't have to answer anymore questions. Any team that does not answer the amount of questions required will have to send one member of their team to the Waitlist Team."

"And the detrimental consequences?" Sakaki led, sounding a little excited.

"The first, second and third place teams each have to answer three out of eight of the questions correctly for them to be safe," Ryuuzaki explained. "Same with the Waitlist Team. However, every team after that has to answer an increasing amount of questions. For example, the eigth place team, the Captains, have to answer eight questions out of eight. The seventh place team, the Geniuses, have to answer seven. And so on."

"So we have to answer every single question right or else Tachibana will have to be on the Waitlist Team?" said Atobe.

"What?" demanded Tachibana. "You've already _decided _that it's me?"

"Well obviously," said the rest of the Captains team.

"This is how it's going to work," said Banji. "Sort of backwards from the way we did it last time. We are going to ask the Captain of each team a series of eight questions in private that will involve choosing between his four teammates. Then we will ask the same questions to the teammates and they have to come to a consensus on how they felt their captain answered the question."

Everyone groaned. _Again_.

"And, because we have these resources at our disposal, look what we made!" said Ojii as he pulled a lever and a curtain fell to reveal a game show looking area with nine podiums of varying colors. Each podium comfortably held four people, as Team Waitlist on their white podium was kindly demonstrating.

"Team Waitlist has elected Akutsu as their captain," said Sakaki as Akutsu walked up and looked all threatening and frothy.

No one wanted to be near him so they went to their podiums to mingle and wait as the captains of each team were interrogated.

"_There _you are, Jackal!" chuckled Marui as he went to his black podium.

"I noticed that you didn't notice I was here," said Jackal with a frown.

"Sorry," said Marui with a shrug.

"The Waitlist Team is pretty much all of Rikkai Dai," Niou observed.

"That's our fault for taking forever to sign up," Yagyuu pointed out.

"I'm Tetsu," said Tetsu.

And a few minutes later, the coaches returned and reported that they sent the appointed captains off to get ice cream so there would be no chance of them possibly giving any hints. Everyone else was appalled but there was nothing they could do about it so they decided to just get this over with as quickly as possible so they could go get ice cream too.

Huge numbers appeared on the screens behind each team:

Team 3rd Year- (3)

Team Tall- (3)

Team Doubles- (3)

Team 2nd Year- (4)

Team Hard Working- (5)

Team WTF- (6)

Team Genius- (7)

Team Captain- (8)

Team Waitlist- (3)

"That number will descend with each question you answer correctly," Banji said.

"We gathered so much," said all the teams. Together. IN SYNCHRO!

"I will ask the first question," said Ryuuzaki, clearing her throat. "Now you must answer how you believe your captain answered but your entire team must come to an agreement before answering. Who, of the four of you, deserves to go to the tennis camp the most? We'll start with you, Team 3rd Year."

"Well, I play on the same team as Saeki, so he'd probably pick me," Ryou suggested.

"That seems like good enough reasoning to me," said Oishi as he looked at the coaches. "Ryou!"

"Correct!" said Ryuuzaki as confetti fell upon the 3rd Years and they cheered.

"So this team has already answered one correctly which means they only have to answer two more," said Sakaki as a pointless recap, and he was quickly informed that his recap was pointless.

"Team Tall?" Ryuuzaki asked.

They had already been pondering their possibilities and Renji had been working out the exact statistics of Bane choosing each one of them, and the rest of the team trusted his results.

"Taka," Renji reported.

"Right again!" said the coaches, and there was more confetti and more cheering.

"Team Doubles?" said Ryuuzaki. "You're up."

"By process of elimination," Atsushi said. "We've evaluated that Eiji would choose Itsuki!"

Sakaki was excited because he got to press his buzzer that made the WRONG noise instead of pull the confetti.

"Eiji actually chose Ootori," said Ryuuzaki.

"Me?" Choutarou said, beaming with happiness and sunshine.

"Don't be happy, we got a question wrong," said Gakuto.

"It doesn't matter," said Atsushi. "We have seven more chances to get three right. We'll be fine."

"Way to jinx us," said Gakuto.

"Team 2nd Year, it's your turn," said Ryuuzaki. "How do you think Hiyoshi responded to the question?"

Team 2nd Year consulted each other and had to systematically choose one of them, trying to make as much sense as possible. Of course, it really was difficult because it's not like Hiyoshi had a specific personality or anything aside from what people make up about him.

"Uh…" said Momo. "…Me?"

"Correct!" cheered Ryuuzaki.

"Three more wild guesses to go!" said David.

"Team Hard Working?" said Ryuuzaki. "In your opinion, who do you think Kaidou believes is most deserving of the tennis camp?"

"Initially, we believed that Kaidou would choose me because I'm pretty much the only one he knows," said Inui. "But then we reevaluated and came to the conclusion that Kaidou is very honorable and would choose who he truly believes deserves the camp instead of who he believes is the least annoying."

"And?"

"Shishido," Inui responded.

"Right!" said Ryuuzaki. "And just so you know, we don't need your life story before the answer every single time."

Inui adjusted his glasses and had this expression that was like, "WHAT. I'M INUI."

"Team WTF," said Ryuuzaki.

"Is there a possible response where our captain might potentially choose himself over the four of us?" Dan asked.

"Well, actually, Ryoma answered himself the first time around but we made him change his answer," Ryuuzaki said.

"Oh," said the WTF Team as the re-consulted each other to come up with the bestest answer and they quickly realized that Ryoma hated them each equally so therefore he probably said a name at random.

"I think he might hate Dan a little less than he hates the three of us," Katsuo said, gesturing to the freshman trio.

They realized that Katsuo was right so they responded with Dan and then they had a party; for they were correct!

"Hey guys," said Marui in anticipation of the fact that his team was next to respond. "I'll bet that Kirihara picked me because we play on the same team."

"You don't think he'll be honorable like Kaidou and pick the person who truly deserves it?" Sengoku questioned.

"This is _Kirihara _we're talking about, remember?" Marui said.

"Well said," Oshitari nodded. "In that case, we choose Marui."

They turned and looked at Ryuuzaki who was still paying attention to the WTF Team, surprisingly enough.

So Oshitari cleared his throat and got her attention, then repeated his answer.

"And that's right," said Ryuuzaki.

"What did I tell you?" said Marui.

"There's so much less negativity and stress when Kirihara isn't here," Fuji observed. "I feel as though we can function as a team better without him. Maybe we should do as the Captains are doing and lose on purpose so we can replace him with someone less annoying."

The rest of the team contemplated this possibility.

"Hey!" said Kentarou. "We're not losing on purpose! We're just keeping our options open!"

"In the extremely likely event that we don't answer every single question right, we have just already picked someone ahead of time that we don't want to hang out with us anymore," Tezuka finished.

"No tennis camp is worth this," said Tachibana but it was obvious he didn't mean it.

"Team?" said Atobe so the rest of his team after Ryuuzaki asked them for their response. "I think it's vitally important that we think with the purity and nobility of Yukimura for this response."

"He would so pick me," said Kentarou.

"I don't think so," said Atobe. "He _knows _that my name is the first name on the list so therefore he believes that I most certainly deserve to be at the camp more than anyone else."

"If I were in his place, that's how I would answer too," said Tezuka.

"You would vote for me, Tezuka?" said Atobe, looking surprised.

"Only because I couldn't vote for myself," Tezuka answered flatly and honestly.

"I don't know, guys," said Tachibana. "I would choose Kentarou because he's the youngest and therefore—"

"Has more time to go to tennis camps," Atobe interrupted. "Do you _want _to get this wrong?"

"Besides, not everyone is obsessed with helping people younger than him getting better at tennis," said Tezuka.

"I thought it was a good idea, Tachibana," said Kentarou supportively.

"Do you guys have an answer yet?" said Ryuuzaki impatiently.

"We don't have any leeway to get anything wrong or answer on a whim," said Tezuka. And then they all waited for it…waited for it… waited for it… "We can't let our guards down."

They let out their breath they were holding.

"Okay," said Atobe. "We're answering with me, then."

The others nodded.

"And that is… right!" said Ryuuzaki. "You guys are still here for another round!"

They gave each other high fives. Even Tachibana got one.

"And finally, the Waitlist Team," said Ryuuzaki. "And just so you all know, if the Waitlist Team fails to answer their three questions right out of the eight then no one has to send anyone to the Waitlist Team."

"Our answer is Tetsu," said Jackal confidently before any of the teams could try to distract them by shouting random answers.

"Right!" said Ryuuzaki. "Sakaki, would you now like to do a less pointless recap?"

"Sure!" said Sakaki. "As you can all see, every team except Team Doubles answered their questions right, which means you're all moving onto the next round in complete safety, with the exception of Team Captain who is always in dire trouble."

"We'll immediately move onto the next question and go in reverse order so it is fair," said Ojii. "And I will be asking this one! Out of the four people on your team, who do you believe your captain would most want to be stranded on a desert island with?"

All the teams got into huddles like they were on Family Double Dare as the coaches waited for them to emerge with their answers. Unfortunately, there was no physical challenge option, or else they likely would have taken it. I know _I _would have.


	32. So Not For My Sparkling Personality?

Chapter XXXII- "So Not For My Sparkling Personality?"

"Now, who do you think Akutsu would most like to be stranded on a desert island with?" Ojii asked of the Waitlist Team.

"Tetsu," replied the entire team at exactly the same time without even a moment's pause. This made everyone quite suspicious because they were fairly certain that Akutsu hardly knew Tetsu on account of the fact that they never met prior to the little tennis camp challenge they were on.

"Correct!" said Ojii. "The Waitlist Team only has to answer one more question right and then everyone better watch out and hope they answer all their questions too! Captain's Team?"

"Well, personally I know who I would want to be on a desert island with the most," said Tachibana.

"And who's that?" Kentarou asked.

"Atobe," Tachibana replied.

"Oh?" said Atobe, looking slightly interested.

"Yeah," said Tachibana. "Because you're rich and therefore your family will spend a limitless amount of money to find you."

"Well said," Tezuka noted.

"So not for my sparkling personality?" Atobe said.

"No," Tachibana answered flatly.

"I think that's a good reason!" said Kentarou. "Do you think Yukimura thought of that reason?"

"I think Yukimura might have been considering more along the lines of who has the most sparkling personality," Tezuka said.

"Which means it's probably not you," said Kentarou.

"Do you all have an answer yet?" demanded Ojii impatiently.

"I think there should be a time limit," announced Sakaki.

"No, no, we have an answer!" said Kentarou as he looked back to his team. "Do we?"

"I'd say it's Atobe again," said Tachibana.

The others were reluctant, but they didn't mind if they lost all THAT much, and they figured that since it was Tachibana's head on the chopping block, they might as well let him pick the answer.

"Atobe?" guessed Tachibana.

Ojii decided to pause dramatically because he knew that ever answer was important for Team Captain.

"Correct!" he said and the Captains were subsequently showered with streamers.

"Maybe you're not such a deadweight after all, Tachibana," said Atobe.

Tachibana didn't have time to answer because Ojii had already moved onto Team Genius and was questioning them as to who they thought Kirihara would like to be trapped on a desert island with.

"Well, not Fuji," said Sengoku.

"Why not me?" said Fuji even though the answer was so obvious that the others didn't feel it necessary to even reply.

"Probably Marui again," Oshitari said.

"Yeah," Marui agreed. "Out of everyone on the team, he really only knows me."

"Is that your answer?" inquired Ojii, and the Geniuses answered in the affirmative. "And you are correct!"

"I thought we were just going to lose on purpose so we could get rid of Kirihara," Fuji said.

"Well, we still have to answer another five questions out of the six," Oshitari pointed out. "There is a great chance that we might still lose."

"Once again," announced Horio since the WTF Team had began their response while the Geniuses paid attention to much more important things such as themselves or basically anything else. "We have reasoned that Ryoma hates Dan the least so therefore he would choose to spend time with him on a desert island!"

"And once again, WTF Team, you are right!" said Ojii. "What does your acronym stand for again?"

"Um…" said the entire team.

"We sort of forget," said Katsuo.

"Can we change to WWF instead?" asked Dan eagerly.

"World Wresting Federation?" questioned Kachirou.

"No," said Dan. "World Wildlife Fund."

"Both of those make no sense," said Banji.

"Whatever!" said Ojii. "Moving right along! Team Hardworking? Answer the question how you thought Kaidou answered!"

"The logical choice would be myself," said Inui. "Because I can provide methodical strategies that will enable us to leave the island."

"Is that brainstorming or your answer?" asked Ojii.

"_Obviously _it was our answer," said Mizuki.

"And it's a good thing too because you got it right!" said Ojii.

"Everyone's getting all the questions right," said Ryuuzaki, sighing. "At this rate, no one will be switched to the Waitlist Team!"

"Why do you want anyone to switch?" said Sakaki. "It's not like anyone on your team is on the Waitlist Team."

"True," Ryuuzaki noticed.

"Next up is Team 2nd Years," said Ojii.

Team 2nd Years all looked at each other and shrugged. Again, they knew nothing about Hiyoshi. Even the people who are on Hyoutei tried to challenge themselves by guessing in their heads, but none of them knew the answer well enough to be sure of one.

"Um…" Momo said because he was the designated guesser after his previous success. "I'm going to go with…Shinji?"

"I'm sorry, that's incorrect," said Ojii. "The right answer would have been Kamio!"

"I said that!" said Momo. "Didn't I say that?"

"No, you said Shinji," said David.

"You were supposed to say that I did say that," said Momo.

"There's like fifty witnesses," Kamio pointed out.

"Whatever," said Momo, crossing his arms.

"Team Doubles, do you want to put yourselves on the board?" said Ojii.

"Definitely!" said Atsushi. "And we've concluded that since Ootori is the tallest, he would definitely be able to reach the coconuts on the highest trees the easiest so therefore Eiji would pick him."

"_That _was our reasoning?" Choutarou said, looking slightly horrified.

"Well, I can't say that's exactly why Eiji made his decision, but at least you're right!" said Ojii.

"Awwwwwwlllll right!" said everyone as they leapt up into the air like Power Rangers and did an extended high five.

"Continuing," said Ojii. "Team Tall. What would Bane decide?"

"Kabaji," said Renji.

"Wait, we haven't discussed that at all," said Sanada before Ojii could reveal if they were correct.

"It is the most logical choice," said Renji.

"Why?" said Taka. "I would pick someone I'd be able to talk to."

"Yes, that might be you," said Renji. "But try to think like Bane."

The others rubbed their chins thoughtfully. Kabaji just stood there stupidly since his opinion didn't mean anything as far as they were concerned.

"Okay," said Taka. "If I'm Bane, then I want someone to just be there to take orders from me and stay out of my way."

"Hence," said Renji.

"Right," said Sanada, looking at Ojii. "Kabaji is our answer after all."

"And it's a good thing too!" said Ojii. "You're correct!"

"Your use of data is excellent, Renji," said Inui.

"As is yours, Sadaharu," said Renji.

"Please don't start your banter right now," said Shishido, looking a little disgusted. And he's really one to talk. Shishido received a glare from Renji and Inui but they didn't feel like doing anything to actually show their anger.

"So Team Tall only has to answer one more as well," said Ojii. "Excellent. Team 3rd Years? Would you like to join the club of only having to answer one more question?"

"Would we ever!" said Jirou enthusiastically.

"Then answer the question," said Ojii.

"I just did," said Jirou.

"No, he means the other question," Oishi reminded Jirou.

"Oh right," Jirou said, looking slightly embarrassed. "What was that again?"

"Do we have an answer for it yet?" Yanagisawa asked the rest of the team.

"I think we did it by process of elimination based on who would have the best survival skills and is the least annoying and the easiest to talk to," Ryou said.

"And what was our conclusion?" Jirou questioned.

"Me of course," said Oishi, looking proud of himself.

Yanagisawa had lost because they figured no one would want to be stuck somewhere with someone as annoying as him. Jirou lost because they figured Saeki would reason he wouldn't do his fair share of the work to keep them alive. Ryou had lost because he basically has no personality and it was likely that Saeki would get bored after sometime. So that only left Oishi.

"We must say that Saeki did have a difficult time answering this question," said Ojii. "But you're right!"

"HURRAY!" cheered Team 3rd Years as they threw their arms up into the air and cheered.

"Now Sakaki is going to do a recap for us!" announced Ryuuzaki.

"Yes, because it is my job," said Sakaki as if he had accomplished anything. "So far, everyone is still in the game with six questions to go. Team 3rd Years, Team Tall and Team Waitlisted each have only one more question to answer. Team Doubles must answer two while Team 2nd Year and Team Hardworkers must each answer three more questions. Team WTF, Genius and Captain must answer four, five and six questions respectively."

Those who were doing well looked relieved. Those who weren't doing so well didn't look so relieved.

"Let's keep going so we can get out of here sometime this century," Banji suggested. "Team 3rd Year, answer brave and true according to what you believe you captain would say. Who, of the four of you, would Saeki least likely invite to a family dinner?"

It was pretty obvious this question was going to strike a couple of nerves. Why did it have to be _least _likely? Many of the groups pondered this fact before quickly realizing that they had to answer the question.

Unfortunately, it was necessary to separate the most annoying or embarrassing person from the group and state that person's name. Team 3rd Year was to begin and, with a heavy heart (not really though) they easily declared that Yanagisawa was the most annoying and therefore Saeki would not want him at a family dinner. Much to Yanagisawa's dismay, they answered correctly. The team tried to be happy about it, however, because this meant they were finished answering questions and no longer had to subject themselves to such torture!

"This also means that none of us are going to the Waitlist Team!" cheered Jirou.

"They act like we're some kind of plague," said Niou, looking disappointed.

"Just ignore them," Yagyuu insisted.

Likewise with Team Tall, they immediately settled on Kabaji because even though you would want him on the island with you to do all the work, no one would want him over for dinner because that would just be dumb and a waste of good food.

"Correct!" said Banji. "Team Tall is also finished with _their _questions as well!"

"Happy day!" cheered Team Tall even though as I go back and look at the four that are there, I notice that it really makes no sense for any of them to cheer that.

"Team Doubles?"

"This is pretty easy," said Gakuto. "Eiji basically likes everyone in the world. Except me."

"That's true," said Atsushi. "He really just doesn't like you at all."

"Is that your answer?" Banji asked.

"Yes it is!" said Gakuto.

"You're right!" said Banji.

Team Doubles was about to throw a party because they momentarily thought they were finished as well but then they remembered they had gotten a question wrong earlier so they still had to answer another one! Boo hoo for them.

Banji was really on turning to Team 2nd Years when they bombarded him with this answer; "David."

"Why… that's absolutely correct!" said Banji.

"We didn't even have to guess that one!" said David as if it was a good thing that everyone had mutually decided that he was by far the most annoying one there.

"Two more to go and we're in the clear," said Momo, looking relieved.

"With four questions to go, we just have to answer half of them right," said Kamio in a very determined voice.

"Team Hard Working?" said Banji.

"It's always pretty obvious who the most annoying is," said Inui as he and the rest of the team pointed at Mizuki. Mizuki even pointed at himself. He was probably proud of the fact that no one on his team liked being around him. In fact, there aren't really a lot of people that like being around Mizuki in general.

And they were found correct as well. Like Team 2nd Years, they only had two more questions to answer.

"We have to agree with Inui on this one," said Horio. "The most annoying on the team is always so obvious!"

"Yeah!" said the rest of the team as they pointed at Horio, but Horio pointed at Kachirou.

"Wait…which is it?" said Banji, looking ultimately confused.

"Guys!" said Horio. "I thought we decided that Kachirou wouldn't be invited to Ryoma's dinner party!"

"No, first we decided that Ryoma probably answered that he wouldn't want to invite any of us equally," Dan pointed out.

"And then we decided that Kachirou was the most annoying out of all of us!" Horio reminded them.

"We thought you were kidding about that," said Katsuo.

In the end, Horio ended up being ostracized from Team WTF against his wishes even though he kept saying that there was no way he was the choice. Once the answer was revealed, however, he felt pretty silly because he turned out that he _was _the choice.

"You're all good at figuring out who your captain dislikes the most," observed Ryuuzaki.

"Team Genius?" said Banji.

"We're sort of guessing here, but we're going with Fuji," said Sengoku.

"Are you really just guessing?" said the entire world. They all said it as a collective, but they made sure to whisper or else they could have hurt someone's ears with their collective noise.

"We were kidding," Marui said.

"Oh," said Banji. "About your guess or about the fact that you were guessing?"

"We pick Fuji," said Oshitari, sounding impatient.

"Well you're right!" said Banji. "We're on a roll here, so Team Captains? It's your turn."

"Yukimura's a tough one because he's generally not annoyed by anything a person does," said Tachibana.

"Except for the fact that you forgot to wear blue today," Atobe pointed out. "He seemed pretty annoyed at that."

"So annoyed that he would decline me an invitation to his house for dinner?" Tachibana said, taking it personally.

"It's enough for me," Atobe said.

"Maybe you're just petty," Tachibana challenged.

"What about me, guys?" said Kentarou. "I'm a first year, after all. And I'm pretty gosh darned annoying. I mean, even Yukimura is probably annoyed by me."

"Good point," said Tezuka. "We'll go with that answer."

"And it's a good thing you did!" said Banji. "Because that's the right answer!"

"Yay!" said Kentarou. Then he paused. "Wait. Not yay." Then he looked sad.

"Finally, Team Waitlisted," said Banji. "If you answer this right then you're all done answering questions and giving yourselves a greater chance of getting off the Waitlist Team."

"We're going with me again," said Tetsu.

"Yes," said the rest of the team, nodding confidently.

"Correct!" said Banji. "Team Waitlist is all finished!"

"HUZZAH!" cheered Team Waitlist.

"Hey," said Inui. "That doesn't seem right. Akutsu would choose Tetsu if he was stuck on a desert island yet he would not invite him home for dinner? I think there may be foul play among Team Waitlist."

"Whatever do you mean?" said Team Waitlist with devious grins.

The coaches didn't seem to notice, however. And if they did notice, they probably just didn't care.

"And now for the recap!" said Sakaki. "Team Waitlist, Team 3rd Years and Team Tall have all finished and are safe! Every other team is in the same place as it was last time except with one less question to answer. Team Double must only answer one more question before they're all done! Keep up the good work, everyone!"

"Since the last question was so easy, we have decided to use this hard one next!" said Ryuuzaki. "Who, of the four of you, did your captain say is… _the best at tennis_?"


	33. Yeah And I Actually Am

Chapter XXXIII- "Yeah. "And I Actually Am."

The basic response from the heinous question was a collective gasp.

And much arguing.

But eventually, the coaches got them to settle down and convene with one another for the answer.

A few fights broke out.

Many feelings were hurt.

Almost everyone fainted at least once.

Several minutes passed and finally the teams gathered calmly to reluctantly announce their answers.

"Team Captains," said Ryuuzaki. "I know this is a difficult question for you to answer, but how do you think Yukimura responded to this question?"

"Even though _I _am obviously the correct answer for this question," Atobe said but he didn't make his sentence complete. He just stood there looking irritated.

"We immediately ruled me out based solely on the grounds that I am a first year," said Kentarou but he sounded bitter.

"We hypothesized that Yukimura would say Tezuka is the best at tennis out of the four of us," Tachibana said, trying to be mature even though he was dying a little on the inside.

And Tezuka just stood there. He wasn't looking proud of himself or accomplished or anything. He was just wearing his usual blank expression as if he was about to tell everyone not to let their guards down because you know he just doesn't tolerate the kind of behavior that involves guards being let down.

"And you're correct!" said Ryuuzaki as she stuck her tongue out at the other coaches who crossed their arms and scoffed.

"Even though…" Atobe said, but he was so appalled that he couldn't even finish the sentence.

"Team Genius?" said Ryuuzaki.

"On the grounds of the fact that we're all geniuses, we choose to pass on this question," said Oshitari.

"Pass?" said Ryuuzaki. "You can't pass."

"Yes we can," said Marui. "We don't want to answer."

"You have to answer," said Ryuuzaki. "Just make a guess!"

"But we couldn't possibly decide who is the best among us because all these other guys are under the impression that they are the best," said Sengoku.

"It's not about who is _actually _the best," said Ojii. "It's just about who you think Kirihara believes is the best."

"And it's apparent to me at least what that answer would be," Fuji said.

"Nevertheless, we won't answer," Oshitari said firmly.

"You have to answer," said Ryuuzaki. "I order one of you to answer!"

With that, every genius said his own name.

"Boooo!" said someone from a random team as they threw a head of lettuce at the Genius Team for being so self-absorbed. They all threw a glare in different directions so they could cover more ground.

"Fine, fine," said Sengoku with a sigh. "Even though it's not _actually _true, we're going to answer with Fuji."

"And yes, it _is _actually true," Fuji added.

"That's right!" said Ryuuzaki.

"See?" said Fuji to the others.

"No, she was saying 'that's right' to the fact that Kirihara believes you are the best at tennis out of the four of us," said Marui. "Not that you actually are."

"Yeah," said Fuji. "And I actually am."

"Moving on!" Ryuuzaki said firmly, looking at the WTF Team. Or is it the WWF Team now?

"On account of the fact that I have two years tennis experience, we think Ryoma picked _me_!" said Horio.

"Wait, wait!" said Dan. "Is there any chance that Ryoma picked himself again?"

"He did," said Ryuuzaki. "But then we made him change his answer."

"Well, he has grounds to pick himself," said Momo. "He's the Prince of Tennis."

"That's true," said everyone thoughtfully.

"Anyway," said Banji, clearing his throat.

"So we'll go with the Horio answer," said Kachirou.

"And you're right!" said Ryuuzaki.

The WWF Team cheered but everyone else looked disappointed. They collectively wanted the freshmen to be on the Waitlist Team because they didn't think any of them deserved to go to the exclusive tennis camp. The Waitlist Team looked especially disgruntled because no one was getting their questions wrong and, at this rate, all of them were going to _remain _on the Waitlist Team and have no chance at all to go to the exclusive tennis camp! Noooo!

"Hard Workers?" said Ryuuzaki.

"We believe that Kaidou recognizes Shishido's hard work and ability to play tennis," Inui reported as Shishido stood there looking proud.

Ryuuzaki paused. "I'm sorry, that's wrong," she said.

Shishido deflated with unhappiness. Inui looked even _more _unhappy because his data was wrong.

"Kaidou answered that he believed Inui was the best at tennis on the team," Ryuuzaki said.

And now Inui had mixed feelings because he liked being perceived as the best, but he didn't like being wrong.

"Let's move onto the 2nd Years," said Ryuuzaki.

"Who haven't we guessed yet?" Kamio said to his team.

"Me, me!" said David excitedly.

"All right, we'll go with that," said Momo. "We think Hiyoshi thinks David is the best!"

"I'm sorry, you are also wrong," said Ryuuzaki. "Hiyoshi answered that he thinks Momo is the best."

"Score!" said Momo.

"No, we got it wrong!" said Kamio.

"I know," said Momo. "But I like being the best."

"You're not actually the best," said Shinji. "It's just that a random person who you hardly know and probably wouldn't know at all if not for this stupid competition thinks you're the best out of a group of four people that he doesn't know at all. That's nothing to be proud of."

"Shut up!" Momo ordered.

"Team Doubles, if you answer this question right then you don't have to answer anymore questions!" Ryuuzaki announced, ignoring Team 2nd Years.

"No problem!" said Jirou.

"Jirou, you're not on that team," said Oishi. "You're on _our _team."

"Do you even ever play doubles?" said Atsushi with a raised eyebrow in Jirou's direction.

"Sorry," said Jirou, lowering his head and looking ashamed. "I just like answering all the questions."

"Go to sleep, will you?" said Gakuto.

"All right," said Jirou with a yawn.

"Anyway…" Ryuuzaki led Team Doubles.

"In spite of the fact that Eiji hates me the most, we also think that he respects my ability to play tennis better than him the most!" said Gakuto.

"So we pick Gakuto," Choutarou finished up when he noticed that Ryuuzaki wasn't reacting and must not have known that that was their answer.

"Right!" said Ryuuzaki. "Team Doubles is all finished answering their questions!"

"We're all safe!" said Team Doubles as they hugged each other like a great big Hyoutei/Rokkaku love child.

"Team Tall and Team 3rd Years don't have to answer so we can move right onto the next question," Ojii said.

"Wait!" said Sakaki. "What about my not so pointless recap?"

"Oh right," said Ojii. "Go ahead."

"Team 2nd Years, Team Hard Workers and the WWF Team only have to answer two questions each," Sakaki reported, double checking his clipboard. "Team Genius must answer three more and Team Captain must answer four more. No one is in imminent danger of being eliminated except, of course, for Team Captains."

"And we have Tachibana to thank for that," said Atobe.

"I am never going to live this down," said Tachibana.

"That's true," Atobe said.

"We'll begin with Team 2nd Years," said Ojii. "Who would your captain most trust with his life of the four of you?"

"That's a tough one," commented someone random who had to ponder the question.

"I kind of want to see how Saeki would have responded to this one," said Ryou to the other Team 3rd Years members.

"Probably me," said Oishi.

Ryou was about to argue but he knew it was pointless to dispute _that_ obvious point.

The 2nd Years cleared their throats to get their elders to stop talking.

"This one is important to get right," said Kamio. "We have to put a lot of thought into this wild guess!"

"Instead of guessing wildly, why don't you four dig deep into what you know about Hiyoshi's personality and emerge with an answer that way?" questioned Banji.

Banji received skeptical looks from the 2nd Years. Then Hyoutei joined in. Then everyone who knew Hiyoshi at all (which was like two people) added their skeptical expressions to the pile as well. Banji was so overwhelmed that he almost had to go to the hospital but, thankfully, an answer from the 2nd Years interrupted the potential coma.

"We're going to guess…" said Momo. "Have we guessed Shinji for anything yet?"

"I think we have," said David. "But let's do it anyway. Shinji seems pretty trustworthy."

"But he did say that he thought Momo most deserved to go to the tennis camp," Shinji pointed out.

"But that doesn't mean he'd trust Momo with his life," said Kamio. "That just means he thinks Momo most deserves to go to the tennis camp."

"Whatever!" said Momo. "No matter how much reasoning we do, it's still going to be a wild guess!"

The rest of the team shamefully agreed and somewhat vowed to get to know Hiyoshi better. Little did they know that his total lack of a personality _was _his personality!

"We're going to go with our first guess!" announced David. "Shinji!"

"Unfortunately you're wrong," said Ryuuzaki who looked pretty bored with all the discussion. "But don't worry. The one person he answered was the one person you never considered!"

"Kamio?" said David.

"Me?" said Kamio, looking flattered.

"Why should we not worry about that?" said Shinji, looking confused. (Or as confused as Shinji can look.) "That just further reinforces the already well known fact that we don't know Hiyoshi at all."

"Whatever!" said Ryuuzaki. "Team Hard Workers!"

"Instead of being annoying and long winded like I could have been," Inui said with a slight change of expression in the direction of the 2nd Years. "I am going to answer simply and without event. Kaidou most trusts me."

"And I am going to respond simply and without event," said Ryuuzaki. "Yes."

They paused.

"Wait, can we have an event?" Mizuki requested.

"Oh very well," said Ryuuzaki as she pulled the lever to make confetti and streamers fall upon the Hard Workers which made them cheer and love life.

"Only one more to go for that team!" said Sakaki as he made the mark on his clipboard.

"WTF Team?" said Ryuuzaki.

"We're WWF Team now," said Katsuo.

"I don't care if you're the BRB Team," said Ryuuzaki. "Just answer the question."

"I think we should be the ROFLMFAO," said Kachirou with a chuckle. "Team."

"That being said," said Dan, looking a little hesitantly at his teammates. "Our guess is that, after himself, Ryoma might trust me with his life?"

"And you're right again!" said Ryuuzaki.

"What?" demanded Horio. "I was so sure it was me!"

"You guys only have to answer one more question as well!" said Ryuuzaki as she showered confetti and streamers on the WTF…WWF… ROFLMFAO Team… whatever they're called. Then she looked at Team Genius. "You guys haven't gotten a single question wrong," she noted. "Well?"

"We're going to go with Marui again on this one," said Oshitari. "On account of the fact that Kirihara doesn't like or know any of us, but sort of likes and sort of knows Marui."

"In a 'we play on the same team' sense, not a sexual sense," Marui added.

"TMI," said the entire WTF Team.

"Well, you're reasoning was correct because that is how Kirihara responded!" Ryuuzaki announced. "Whether he has feelings towards Marui in a sexual sense or not is not what we're here to decide."

"He better not," said Marui, shaking his fist in the air.

"Finally, Team Captain," said Ryuuzaki. "If you don't answer this, you're eliminated."

"We know," said Team Captain, once again looking at Tachibana. Except Tachibana… he just looked annoyed.

"Who would Yukimura trust with his life?" said Ryuuzaki.

Sanada looked grumpy because he was fairly certain that Yukimura would never trust _anyone _aside from him! And everyone know about Sanada's pettiness so they tried not to look as not to embarrass their own selves.

"Guys, for real, he would _definitely _pick me," said Tachibana.

"Yeah right Tachibana," said Atobe. "We know now that we can't even trust you to wear blue on a given day, so why would Yukimura trust you with something as fragile as his life?"

"I am a very trustworthy person," Tachibana said since he didn't have a response to what Atobe said.

"Do you think Yukimura would be able to put the blue thing aside?" said Tezuka. "Probably not. I know I wouldn't be able to."

"All right then fine," said Tachibana. "You know what? Let's just get it wrong, okay? Then you can put me on the Waitlist Team and then the next time someone else has to put someone on the Waitlist Team then I'll switch to a different team and I won't have to deal with you guys."

"I think you have a little to much faith in yourself," said Kentarou with a raised eyebrow.

"If Yukimura sought it best to have me on a desert island, I think he would also believe I would be able to handle his life the best," said Atobe confidently.

"Regrettably, I must agree," Tezuka commented.

"All right!" said Kentarou. "I'm going with majority!"

"Whatever," said Tachibana.

"Our guess is Atobe," said Tezuka to the coaches.

"Are you sure?" said Ryuuzaki. "Because if you get this wrong then you have to send someone to the Waitlist Team."

"We don't really mind," Atobe said.

"Good," said Ryuuzaki. "You're wrong. The right answer was Tachibana."

"HA!" said Tachibana.

The Captains Team was very disappointed. They might have said that they weren't, but it was pretty obvious that they were. It was mainly because almost everyone else there was on their teams and the captains wanted to set good examples for them by winning all the time. Too late now.

"We'll deal with the Waitlist Team thing afterwards," said Ojii, looking over at the Waitlist Team who were all slapping each other five.

"For now, let's have a recap and then move onto the next question," said Banji, gesturing for Sakaki to do his thing.

"Team 2nd Years and Team Genius each have two more questions to answer," Sakaki announced. "The WTF Team and the Hard Workers Team have only one. There are three questions left so no one is in danger of getting eliminated right away."

"Ready?" said Ojii. "Who is the most attractive?"


	34. I'm Sorry I Was So Unpredictable

Chapter XXXIV- "I'm Sorry I Was So Unpredictable."

"_Obviously _it's me," said Mizuki.

"It's not your team's turn," said Ojii.

"Oh, I meant just in general," Mizuki said.

No one wanted to get in a slap fight with Mizuki so they let him be under the impression that he was the most attractive in order to get on with their lives in a peaceful civilized manner.

"Team Genius, you begin," Ojii said.

Team Genius all pulled themselves into a huddle that lasted a grand total of five seconds. They basically moved into the huddle and, in the same motion, moved right back out of it.

"Though we all have our individual attractive qualities we believe that, as a whole, Oshitari is the best looking among us," Sengoku answered calmly and collectedly.

"Does the rest of your team agree with this decision?" said Ojii, noting the fact that everyone else on the Genius Team was standing there rolling their eyes with the exception of Oshitari who was standing there with an expression that might have suggested he was going to shout out, "SNAP!" if he was a more extroverted character.

"Does it matter?" Oshitari said instead of shouting "SNAP!"

"I guess not," said Ojii. "Well, Team Genius, you're right!"

"Whoop dee doo," said Fuji.

"It looks like the four of you are more connected with Kirihara than you originally thought," said Banji.

"But not in a sexual way," Marui corrected.

"I didn't imply that in any way," Banji pointed out.

"What makes you think we're connected with Kirihara whether it be sexual or not?" Fuji inquired.

"Because you only have one more question to answer and have thus far answered all of your questioned correctly," Banji replied. "And the only other team to do that was Team 3rd Years."

"No, we did it too," said the entirety of the Waitlist Team.

"Yean but you guys cheated," Ryuuzaki said.

"…True…" Team Waitlist admitted.

"Wait, you guys knew they cheated but you didn't do anything about it?" demanded Atobe, sounding beyond offended.

"We told them to cheat," Sakaki said. "We wanted them to win so at least one person would be put on the Waitlist Team to set an example so everyone would know our threats weren't empty."

"Why did _I _have to be made the example?" Tachibana said despairingly.

"Now, now, Tachibana, you haven't been put on the Waitlist Team _yet_," Banji reminded him.

"_Anyway_," said Ojii, clearing his throat. "It's all fine and dandy that Team Genius has gotten their question right, but let's move onto the WWF Team and see how they answer."

"If you get this right then you're all safe," said Ryuuzaki.

Everyone crossed their fingers in hope that Team WWF would get it wrong because no one likes freshmen and would like to see the entirety of Team WWF on the Waitlist Team.

The freshmen all looked at each other blankly. As far as they were concerned, they were all equally unattractive as it was, but to think about Ryoma's opinion was basically impossible. It's not like Ryoma cared about anything aside from tennis, and they highly doubted that Ryoma sat around pondering about which freshman was the most attractive.

No one wanted to speak first. Finally, Horio put his finger on his nose. Dan quickly caught on and put his own finger on his own nose as well. Katsuo and Kachirou both realized what was happening at the same time and attempted to be first, but Kachirou was just a moment slower.

"Um…me?" said Kachirou since he had lost.

"I would be lying if I said Ryoma didn't put someone at random," said Ojii.

"Are we right?" asked Horio, sounding commanding.

"Actually, you are!" said Ojii, throwing a party and only inviting the freshmen. But not Kentarou. He wasn't invited.

"How come they're so good at randomly guessing and we get it wrong all the time?" Momo said, sounding appalled.

"They're just luckier, I guess," Kamio shrugged.

"It's their youth!" David announced.

"They're only a year younger than us," said Momo, annoyed.

"Still, they _are _younger!" David said. "Just look at how well the 3rd Years did!"

"No, that's just because we're awesome," said Ryou.

"Oh," said David.

"Next is Team Hard Workers," said Ojii. "Because I would like to finish this competition soon."

"We're just going to go with me on this one," said Mizuki confidently.

"We haven't discussed it yet!" said Shishido.

"Is this even a matter that _needs _to be discussed?" Mizuki said.

"Whatever," said Shishido, crossing his arms and turning around childishly. Maybe he secretly believed that he was the most attractive one, or maybe he just felt like being petty. The world may never know the true answer.

"But we _will _know the answer to this question!" Ojii said. "And if this is right then your team is safe and doesn't have to answer anymore questions!"

Team Hard Workers leaned forward and listened attentively.

"And you're right!" said Ojii. "And, by default, everyone on your team is also safe."

Everyone wanted to cheer but they didn't want Mizuki to know that they acknowledged his attractiveness.

"Finally, the 2nd Years," said Ojii. "Who did Hiyoshi say is the most attractive?"

"Er…" the team looked awkwardly at one another and tried to sum up who they, as a collective, believed was the most attractive in hopes that maybe Hiyoshi was a poser and followed the crowd. Even though he wouldn't have known how the crowd was going. Maybe he was _such _a poser that he would have predicted how the crowd would react and therefore mold himself to look like that previously so no one would think he was a poser. But we're smarter than that, Hiyoshi.

"Shinji?" Momo guessed.

"Right!" said Ojii with absolutely no dramatic pause whatsoever so the 2nd Years complained a little while because they felt they had been gypped.

"How about another one of those not so pointless recaps, Sakaki?" Ryuuzaki requested.

"I'd be delighted," said Sakaki. "Every team is safe except for Team 2nd Years and Team Geniuses. They each have to answer one more question and there are only two more questions left to be asked. So far, only Team Captains has to send someone to the Waitlist Team."

"So let's move right along because this might very well be the final round!" said Banji.

"I'll ask the question," said Ryuuzaki.

"I haven't asked any questions yet," said Sakaki.

"Well, you've been doing the recaps and haven't let any of us get a turn at that," Ryuuzaki reminded him.

"So?" said Sakaki.

"I'm asking the question because I'm a lady," said Ryuuzaki. Everyone tried to stifle their laughter but it was a good thing that Ryuuzaki was so distracted by herself that she didn't notice them. "Okay, last two teams, who did your captain respond when asked the question, 'Who is the most useful asset to the team?' You're first, Team 2nd Years."

Team 2nd Years went into a huddle.

"Okay, if we get this wrong, we still have one more chance to get it right on the next question," Kamio said. "So there's no pressure…yet."

"That's like a fifty-fifty chance!" said Momo.

"But if you think about it," Shinji began. "We only have a twenty-five percent chance of getting this right. And if we get it wrong then we only have a twenty-five percent chance of getting _that _question right. So wouldn't that be a 12.5 percent chance?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Who are you…Inui?" said Momo, looking slightly irrirated.

"Actually, I think that would still be a fifty-fifty chance," said David, confused.

"AHEM," said Ryuuzaki. No, she didn't even bother clearing her throat. She literally just said that word.

"We haven't guessed me in a while, I don't think," Momo said. "He _did _say I most deserved to go to the tennis camp. And it was my idea to get these cool purple outfits."

"Yeah but you did drop the egg in the egg relay," said Shinji.

"That was so long ago," said Momo. "And besides, we were playing against each other then so technically, by losing that challenge, I kept us from having the chance of someone else elected captain so he's captain because of me."

"Do you really think he'll have that convoluted reasoning?" said Kamio.

"I have no idea," Momo admitted.

"Fine, fine," said Kamio. "Our guess is Momo!"

"And I suppose Hiyoshi _does _have that convoluted reasoning because you're right!" said Ryuuzaki. "Which means this team is safe as well!"

"Hurray!" cheered the 2nd Years as they jumped into the air like Power Rangers. (You know, now that I think about it, I don't think Power Rangers jump up into the air particularly often…)

"Team Genius?" said Ryuuzaki. "Who is the most useful asset in Kirihara's eyes?"

"I think Kirihara considers all of us as useless and somewhat of a burden," Fuji said honestly.

"If you answer this question correctly then none of you will be put on the Waitlist Team," Ryuuzaki reminded them.

"Well, let's just think of shallow Kirihara and how he would answer," said Marui as he actually looked as though he was thinking. "Me!"

"Yes, probably," Oshitari sighed.

"I agree," Sengoku nodded.

"Is that your answer?" said Ryuuzaki.

"Yes," chimed the entire Genius Team.

"And you're right!" said Ryuuzaki. "This team answered all their questions correctly which means the competition is over!"

"But now I'm curious about what the last question was," whined Gakuto.

"Should we tell them?" Ojii asked the other coaches.

"The question was," said Banji. "Who would you put on the Waitlist Team if your team loses?"

"Now tell us how they answered!" said Momo eagerly.

"No," said all the coaches.

Just then, all the captains of the teams came back from getting ice cream and joined their teams. Yes, it was very abrupt and not to mention timed absolutely perfectly, but who are we to judge?

"Okay, so every team is safe except for Team Captains," said Sakaki.

"I'm sorry I was so unpredictable," said Yukimura, looking ashamed as if it were his fault.

"Don't worry," said Kentarou. "We weren't allowed to get a single one wrong, that's all!"

"So, Team Captain, we're going to conduct an anonymous vote to send someone to the Waitlist Team," said Banji as if it was just a thing that no one really has to think about and they just make it happen on a day to day basis. He passed out a pen and slip of paper to each member of the team.

"Obviously it's going to be me," said Tachibana, crossing his arms. "There's no point of having a vote."

"Shut up Tachibana," ordered Atobe.

The Captains all discretely wrote down who they thought deserved to go to the Waitlist Team, folded their papers and then handed them back to the coaches. The coaches put the papers into a hat and started waving their hands over it like it was a cauldron. Needless to say, it was unnecessary and stupid as they were promptly told by the youth of the group and thus life continued.

"The first vote is…Tachibana!" said Ryuuzaki as she showed the vote to everyone.

"What a surprise," said Tachibana.

"The second vote…Atobe!" said Ryuuzaki.

"How dare you!" said Atobe as he slapped Tachibana.

"Hey!" said Tachibana. "I wasn't going to vote for _myself_!"

"You could have voted for someone else," said Atobe with a harrumph.

"The third vote!" said Ryuuzaki as she pulled out the paper, opened it up and looked at it. She seemed surprised. "…Kentarou."

"What?" Kentarou said. He looked around confusedly, and then he ran over to Tachibana and slapped him.

"What the hell?" demanded Tachibana.

"Stop hurting Tachibana!" screamed Fudomine.

"Who voted for me?" said Kentarou, looking frightfully upset.

"The fourth vote!" said Ryuuzaki. "It's…also Kentarou!"

"Ahh!" Kentarou yelled. "They were plotting against me!"

"And the fifth vote…Kentarou," said Ryuuzaki. "It looks like we're sending Kentarou to the Waitlist Team."

"Why did everyone conspire against me?" Kentarou cried.

"Because you're a freshman," said Atobe.

"Why didn't anybody tell me we were conspiring against Kentarou?" said Tachibana.

"Because then it would have been less dramatic," Tezuka replied.

"Which means Kentarou voted for me!" said Tachibana as he slapped Kentarou. They had a slap fight that only ended in tears.

"What a surprising turn of events!" said Sakaki. "I guess it's official! Kentarou is now on the Waitlist Team. Well, Team Captain, who will you bring from the Waitlist Team to be a new member of your team?"

"No matter who it is, he won't be good enough simply because he's not a captain," sighed Atobe.

"Let's pick Tetsu," said Tachibana since he was now happy.

"I vote for Jackal, Yagyuu or Niou," said Yukimura.

"I don't really care," said Tezuka honestly.

"Whatever," Atobe agreed. "Just not Akutsu because he doesn't even want it. He just wants to take it away from someone else."

This left Yukimura and Tachibana to stare at each other.

"Should we fight it out?" Yukimura joked.

"Um…" said Tachibana because if you're Yukimura, you just shouldn't make that kind of joke. "I guess we can take one of the Rikkai Dai people. You're captain after all."

"Tachibana!" wept Tetsu because he was all happy about potentially being on Tachibana's team and now… not so much.

"All right," said Yukimura to the waitlisted people. "Let's do it so it's fair. Out of those on Rikkai Dai, who has the best record?"

The three looked at each other. Like they knew.

"How about you just take it then, Jackal?" suggested Niou. "Yagyuu and I will wait until there's a chance for _both _of us to get off the Waitlist Team."

"Okay," said Jackal since there was no way he was going to turn down that offer.

"All right," said Sakaki. "So now Kentarou is on the Waitlist Team and Jackal is now on the Captains Team. Are we all set? Good."

"Now let's discuss the challenge that's coming up tomorrow morning!" said Ryuuzaki excitedly.

"Already…?" everyone whined.


	35. We Are Officially Going to Get Hardcore

Chapter XXXV- "We Are Officially Going to Get Hardcore."

"I have here in my hand nine scrolls," said Ojii, waving said scrolls around. They were all regular paper colors except for one which was purple. "Four of them have written directions, four of them have a map and one of them has both written directions _and _a map."

Everyone stared at him.

"Directions and a map to what?" a confused tennis player finally inquired.

"I'm glad you asked!" said Sakaki. "But you'll just have to find out when you get there. Each map and set of directions leads to a different location where you must collect an item and then bring it back to us. Whoever gets back first wins."

"As before, any teams that place below the Waitlist Team must send one of their teammates to the aforementioned team," Ryuuzaki reminded them. "Aside from the first, second and third place team, otherwise it just wouldn't work out cleanly."

"Now," Banji continued. "You will all receive the maps or directions at random. However, we'll have a vote to decide who gets the map _and _the directions."

"Obviously, you can't vote for yourselves," Ojii said. "So you all have to decide which team is most deserving of the easiest task!"

"Or maybe, which team is incompetent enough to fail even with copious instruction," Inui pointed out.

The others agreed.

"Or that…" Ojii admitted, looking a little disappointed.

"And that would likely be the Freshman Team," Inui continued.

"Hey!" said Horio. "We are SO not incompetent!"

"Be quiet," Ryoma said. "Let them give us the easiest instructions."

"But it's the _principle _of the thing!" Horio announced.

"No it's not," Ryoma said, turning to his peers. "We are _quite _incompetent."

Everyone was so shocked after Ryoma spoke that they didn't know quite how to respond. Ryoma was admitting his personal fault even if it was through selfish intentions? It couldn't be possible!

"What about us, Team 3rd Years?" said Saeki. "We're doing such a great job, I think we _deserve _the best directions!"

"You don't deserve the best directions _because _you're doing the best job," Renji announced.

"When's the last time anyone noticed Team Tall do anything special?" Tachibana commented. "Maybe it's a trend and we should give the directions to _them_."

"Or what about Team Captain on account of the fact that they lost most recently and therefore are the biggest losers and need an advantage?" said Bane bitterly.

"I think Team Doubles has the best teamwork so maybe they should get it," said Oishi.

"Thanks, Oishi!" said Eiji with his thumbs up.

"Since when are we judging by who has the best teamwork?" questioned Shishido, crossing his arms. "We should judge by who works the hardest for it, not by who has the best teamwork. No offense, Choutarou."

"None taken," said Choutarou.

"Judging by your reasoning, then I say we should judge based on who is the tallest," said Renji. "Which is Kabaji."

"Why is that my reasoning at all?" Shishido questioned.

"Because you just chose how we should judge ourselves based on what your team was based around," Renji said.

"I don't see a problem with that," Inui said.

"What about Team Waitlist, guys?" said Kentarou desperately.

"Of course, Team 2nd Years might fail because they have proven to be quite dysfunctional," Inui backtracked.

"No we haven't!" snapped Team 2nd Years.

"If you're talking dysfunction, then take a look at _our _team!" said Kirihara. "We're hardly motivated enough to even bother looking for the item."

"He's got a point," Oshitari admitted.

The rest of their teams thoughtfully stroked their chins.

"Well, all right," said Atobe. "But only if you promise to remain unmotivated."

"Was Atobe's singular response enough to make the entire group agree?" questioned Ryuuzaki.

Everyone was still uneasy because they weren't sure if they wanted to hand over the best instructions to a team put together based on their "genius-ness" but, as they looked back at the previous challenges, they happened to notice that they really didn't do any more than the bare minimum. So even though they all wanted the directions, they surrendered them to Team Genius.

"Well, to be honest, that was quite a surprising decision," said Ryuuzaki as she uneasily handed the purple scroll to Kirihara since he was the captain of his team.

"I'm pretty surprised too…" Kirihara said as he took it with no further comment or argumentation.

He turned back to his team who were all looking at him.

"What?" said Kirihara.

"Well," said Fuji. "You did well in the previous challenge."

"I didn't even interact with you guys at all," Kirihara said.

"Yes, but you made your answers easily predictable," Marui reminded him.

"Oh," said Kirihara.

"So therefore, we have decided to accept you as our leader," Oshitari said.

"Really?" Kirihara said, his eyes filling up with bunnies and sunshine. Not literally because that would basically be completely lethal.

"Yes, we are officially going to get hardcore," said Fuji.

With that, all of the geniuses turned and glared at the other teams.

"Oh no," the other teams whispered to each other. "Team Genius finally got hardcore. We're doomed."

Of course, they didn't recite it like that because that would just be unrealistic and foolish. They said basically all of that stuff but in frantically and _not _at the same time.

"Team Genius gets all hardcore as we practically hand the challenge over to them," said Inui. Then he stopped and pondered. "Knowing them… they planned it all along…"

Team Genius only looked _more _sinister after Inui's revelation.

"Okay, even though you all know at this point that you're not going to come in first place, you can strive for second!" said Ojii as he handed the scrolls out to all the other teams.

"Where did you get these scrolls?" questioned Itsuki. "Where did you get a purple scroll?"

"Be quiet!" ordered the coaches.

"We're going to count to ten and then you all get to open your scrolls and begin your search," said Ryuuzaki.

The coaches looked at each other as the captains on each team got ready to open their scrolls.

"Actually, counting is lame so you can just open them now," Ryuuzaki revised.

They didn't need to be told twice; everyone tore open their scrolls.

"Ah!" gasped Horio. "We literally tore the scroll!"

"I knew we should have given the special scroll to that team," Inui shook his head at Team LOL or whatever their acronym is at this point.

"All right, we got directions!" Kamio said. "This is good!"

"But it's so far away…" Hiyoshi pointed out, referring to the object they sought.

"I don't know how to read maps," said Jirou, holding the map upside down.

"Good thing there are the rest of us on the team," said Ryou, confiscating the map from Jirou.

"Why aren't any of you moving?" said Sakaki. "Team Genius has already gone."

All the other teams looked to the place where Team Genius used to be standing only to discover that they were not standing there anymore. (As hinted by the word choice of 'used to be'.)

"Stupid hardcore Team Genius!" the other teams cursed them as they scrambled to catch up.


	36. They Opted to Run to Our Destination

Chapter XXXVI- "They Opted to Run to Our Destination."

The entirety of Team Genius was scrunched in the backseat of a taxi, whistling innocently to themselves, except for Kirihara who had the map opened up and was peering at it intently.

"Well," he said. "According to these directions, we're actually going to a mall."

"A mall?" questioned the entire team as they leaned over to look at the map. And Kirihara happened to be sitting in the middle so it looked choreographed.

"Yeah," said Kirihara. "At least, that's what it looks like."

"So whatever item we're looking for is located inside of a mall," Fuji reasoned.

"I hope we don't have to buy anything," said Sengoku. "I didn't bring any money."

"We could always do a street show or something," said Marui. "We've already shown that we have talent in both our talent show and our skit."

"That's true," said Fuji. "We could get a tablecloth and a table and some expensive china."

"Where would we get that stuff?" said Kirihara. But everyone else glared at him so he quickly added, "Never mind…"

Meanwhile…

"Wait a second…" said Oishi slowly as he held up his map. "We're right back where we started!"

The rest of Team 3rd Years looked around and gave a heavy sigh.

"We're reading this wrong," said Saeki. "I wish we had gotten the directions."

"This is horrible!" exclaimed Jirou. "I don't want to switch our team around!"

"We're so cohesive!" Yanagisawa added.

"Cohesive?" Ryou repeated. "You think of that one all on your own?"

"Don't even start," Saeki warned. "Let's keep this positive."

"_Wait a second_!" came a voice that did not belong to a third year. They spun around and saw Team 2nd Years all scratching their heads and peering at their directions.

"Which way is north?" Momo said with an exasperated sigh.

"This is impossible!" Kamio agreed.

"I sort of wish we had gotten the map…" Hiyoshi admitted.

Then they looked up at saw their elders standing in front of them.

"Say…" said Oishi. "Do you guys wanna…team up?"

"Team up?" Momo said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It sure is tempting!"

"It would be quite ironic for the 2nd years to team up with the 3rd years even though we've been treating this entire competition among all of us as a sole competition with just you guys," Shinji added.

"Don't tell them that!" said Kamio.

"We respect your ability to do well in the challenges," said Hiyoshi to the 3rd Years.

"And we respect your…" Jirou started. "Your…" He looked to his teammates for help.

"Ability to…wear…lots of purple," Saeki finished haltingly.

"Are you mocking us?" said Momo, putting his hands on his hips.

"No," said Saeki. "Look, you want the map and we want the directions. How about we just trade?"

"That might work better," Yanagisawa agreed.

"Hold on, we have to have a huddle," said Hiyoshi, grabbing his team and pulling up away into a huddle.

"Why are we having a huddle?" questioned Shinji. "They just want to trade so I think we should so we can move on and get back to the race and not place below the Waitlist Team."

"But I think it's a much better idea to team up with them," said Hiyoshi. "They've placed in the top three in all of the challenges. The top two, I think. We're always somewhere in fourth and fifth. I think they could boost us to a higher place, don't you?"

"That's true," said Kamio. "I think we should do it."

"Team up with them, you mean?" said Momo. Everyone agreed.

"OKAY BREAK!" cheered the team as they all clapped their hands and separated.

"We've decided we want to team up," said Hiyoshi to Saeki since they were the appointed captains after all.

"Hm…" said Saeki as he turned to his 3rd Years.

"Um…" said the other 3rd Years. Then they shrugged.

Saeki turned back to the 2nd Years. "Okay," he said.

"All right!" cheered the 2nd Years.

They were just about to turn around and head out on their way when they found Team ROFLMAO standing there with their arms crossed in a sad attempt to look somewhat bad ass.

"So you two are teaming up…" said Ryoma. "How about us too?"

"Why would we want to team up with you?" said Hiyoshi, raising an eyebrow.

"Because we're the Freshmen, you're the 2nd Years and you're the 3rd Years!" said Horio. "Our years will be equally represented!"

The 2nd Years and 3rd Years looked at each other skeptically.

"You just want to team up with us because you accidentally ripped up your directions," Saeki inferred.

"Er…" said the freshmen awkwardly.

The elders threw their heads back, laughed and then left the freshmen in the dust.

"What are we going to do now?" whined Kachirou.

"Let's follow them!" said Katsuo deviously. "They'll never even know!"

"We have to be sure to stay quiet!" Dan reminded them even though it was totally obvious.

So as that team with a random acronym chased after the 2nd Years and 3rd Years, Team Waitlist was waiting at the bus stop.

Kentarou was standing with his arms crossed and a massive frown on his face as the rest of the team stood a few feet away from him because they had been bonding over the past few days and didn't like Kentarou being there just as much as he didn't like being there.

"All right, what the hell!" Kentarou finally yelled. "They can't call themselves _Team Captain _anymore because Jackal is _so_ not a captain! I am! Me!" He turned to the rest of the team. "Right? Me!"

"Whatever," they said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"And why is this bus taking forever?" Kentarou demanded, coming oh so close to throwing a temper tantrum.

"Chillax, whoa," said Akutsu. And you know if you get a "Chillax, whoa," from Akutsu, you are _way_ over the edge.

Thankfully, the bus pulled up just then. If it had taken any longer, Kentarou would have probably had a seizure. But his not-seizure was pointless because when they boarded the bus, the found Team Captain was already on it.

It was super awkward for the moments they stood near the bus driver.

"Oh dear," said Yukimura finally.

Kentarou sat down in the front seat and Team Waitlist filed in, deciding not to sit in the same seat as him since he was radiating bitterness that was just so darned uncharacteristic of him that it made it twice as frightening.

"Did we make the right decision?" Atobe said to his teammates since they were out of earshot of Team Waitlist.

"Of course we did," said Tachibana.

"You voted for me," Atobe reminded him.

"Are you always going to bring that up?" Tachibana said.

"Thanks for picking me, by the way, guys," said Jackal.

Everyone else kind of ignored him. Kentarou had a point that it was weird to have him on the team because he wasn't a captain but they were still called Team Captains. We can't have Jackal going around under the impression that he is a captain or will be captain someday. That would just be disastrous, especially for Yukimura because he is the captain on the team Jackal _wishes _he's the captain of.

"Tell me again why we're riding the bus?" said Tezuka.

"What?" said the others.

"Because we're following our directions," Yukimura answered, holding up the scroll.

"But doesn't Atobe have buckets of money at his disposal?" Tezuka sighed, looking out the window.

"Why do I always forget about that?" Atobe pondered.

Atobe stood up and pulled the "Stop" string that makes the bus driver know that you have a stop. They once again had to have an awkward moment as they passed by Kentarou, and then exit the bus. Atobe used his state of the art cell phone to call his limo driver that he apparently had forgotten all about.

"Stop that bus!" came the collective voices of Team Hard Workers as they ran up, but the bus drove away before they had the opportunity to get on it.

"Sorry," said Yukimura, but he probably wasn't _really _sorry. Then again, it's Yukimura so maybe he was.

"Great," said Mizuki. "Now what are we going to do?"

"Looks like we're going to have to run after all," said Inui.

"I wanted to do that anyway," said Kaidou.

With that, Team Hardworking ran off, but Mizuki stayed where he was with a shocked expression on his face, and then he looked at Team Captain (which has Jackal on it even though he's not a real captain).

"What is this?" he demanded, gesturing at his team that was disappearing over the horizon.

"It's your own fault," said Tachibana as Atobe's super fast limo driver pulled up and opened the door for them.

Mizuki watched them all get in the car and drive off, and he frowned very animatedly.

Then he happened to catch sight of another bus driving up to where he was standing. His team was already gone, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to get on the bus anyway.

And, as it happened, Team Doubles was already on the bus.

"Hello," said Mizuki, waving to them as he sat down with Eiji who happened to be the one who ended up sitting by himself. Knowing Team Doubles, they were probably fairly rotating who had to sit alone to make sure everyone had a turn to sit with everyone else.

"What are you doing here?" said Eiji.

"Riding the bus," Mizuki answered as the bus started moving again.

"Where's the rest of your team?" Choutarou asked, standing up and looking around for Shishido.

"They opted to run to our destination," Mizuki answered, rolling his eyes. "You guys don't mind if I tag along and meet up with them once they get there?"

"We do kind of mind, actually," said Gakuto rudely.

But it's not like Gakuto could do anything to stop him.

Meanwhile, Team Tall was outside a sandwich shop, waiting for Kabaji to exit with delicious treats for them.

"How long have we been waiting for this taxi?" Sanada questioned, gazing helplessly at the directions.

"Too long," Renji said as he turned to Bane. "Where did you tell them to pick us up?"

"Right here!" said Bane. "Don't try to blame their lateness on me."

"Hey guys," said Taka. "Can we make a promise to each other that no matter what we'll do as much as we can to make sure the five of us go to the tennis camp?"

"How so?" said Bane. "If we lose then we have to switch someone to the Waitlist Team."

"Well," said Taka. "I think if that happens then we should lose on purpose the next time and just switch the person back."

Everyone mulled over what Taka said.

"Good man," said Renji, patting Taka on the back.

Kabaji came back with their sandwiches and handed them out, and then Team Tall made a promise that the five of them would go to the tennis camp.


	37. It's Got Holes and the Pope is Holy!

Chapter XXXVII- "It's Got Holes in it and the Pope is Holy!"

The coaches didn't have much to do as they waited for their beloved tennis players to show up outside the main entrance of the mall.

"Maybe we should have given them a time limit," Ryuuzaki remarked.

"Yes, because aside from Team Genius showing up here over a half an hour ago, we haven't even had any indication of any other team arriving!" Sakaki added as he pointed at the grinning and confident looking Team Genius as they stood there like they were being paid to look overly cocky.

"Nice job Team Genius, by the way," said Banji.

"What's our prize for being here first?" questioned Sengoku.

"We're going to wait until everyone is here so we don't have to explain it nine times," Ojii said flatly.

Team Genius looked disappointed but, in the end, they didn't care because they knew they were badass.

It was exactly then that a group of ten people wandered over to them looking super confused. As it would happen, this group of ten people was two teams; 2nd Years and 3rd Years.

"Is this where we're supposed to meet?" Momo asked the coaches.

"Well obviously," said Ryuuzaki as she made a grand gesture towards herself and her fellow coaches. "Why else would _we _be here?"

"Hurray!" cheered both the 3rd and 2nd Years as they jumped up into the air and clicked their heals.

"It seems only Team Genius arrived before us," Ryou observed.

"Word," said Team Genius as they struck gangster poses.

"Teaming up really worked out," said Hiyoshi as he held out his hand for Saeki to shake.

"Yes it did," said Saeki as he shook Hiyoshi's hand. (And no, it's not just completely random that these two are shaking hands. They are, after all, the captains.)

"Wait, you teamed up?" said Sakaki, sounding amazed.

"We sure did!" said Jirou.

"Well then who do we award second place and who do we award third place?" said Banji, looking legitimately concerned as if the issue was important at all.

"I think that because we're 2nd years, we should get second place," said Kamio. Needless to say, the other 2nd Years agreed, but the 3rd Years brought up the argument that they were older and therefore they deserved the higher place. Then Team 2nd Years argued that they hadn't placed so high yet so they should get it, but Team 3rd Years threw that argument right back and brought up that because they had consistently ranked in the top three, they deserved it.

"Besides, _we _did all the work," said Yangisawa, referring to himself and the third years. "You guys only tagged along."

"That's not true!" said Momo angrily.

"Hey guys, look!" said David suddenly as he picked up a leaf on the ground that had been munched on by the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar. "This leaf is _so _holey that I presume it is the pope of leaves!"

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" they all said.

"Get it?" said David. "Full of holes? Holy? It's got holes in it, and the Pope is holy!"

Everyone only continued to stare at him with blank expressions.

"Never mind," David said. "It's not funny if I have to _explain _it."

"It probably wasn't going to be funny anyway," Oshitari said.

"No, it was funny, trust me," David said.

"_Anyway_," said Ryuuzaki. "We coaches were just flipping a coin while—"

"Together?" Fuji interrupted.

"Huh?" said Ryuuzaki.

"You were all just flipping a coin?" Fuji repeated. "Together?"

"Yeah, isn't that a one person job?" questioned Marui.

Ryuuzaki glared at them. "Anyway, there was some coin flippage, and we established that Team 3rd Years have placed second and Team 2nd Years have placed third."

"Outrage!" yelled Team 2nd Years.

"HOORAY!" cheered Team 3rd Years.

"Besides, it's not like it matters because the top three teams aren't affected by Team Waitlist anyway," Banji added with a shrug.

"Oh right," said the entirety of the two teams.

"HA!" came the chorus of an extremely annoying trio of freshmen. Everyone groaned as Horio, Katsuo and Kachirou jumped out from behind a tree and pointed dramatically at the coaches. "WE HAVE ARRIVED!"

"Where's the rest of your team?" said Ojii.

"Right there," said Horio as he pointed at Dan and Ryoma who were standing slightly off to the left.

"Oh," said Ojii. "Well, congratulations because you've arrived fourth, and also _before _Team Waitlist so you're all safe."

Ryoma looked at his team and suddenly regretted ever doing anything productive for the team, and vowed that he would lose four challenges in a row on purpose so he could get rid of his annoying team.

"We followed you the whole way!" said Katsuo proudly as he pointed at the elder teams. "You didn't even see us follow you on that bus!"

"Yes we did," said Oishi. "We just didn't say anything because you could have easily gotten on the bus _without _following us so it could have been circumstantial."

"Well, we're still sneaky!" said Kachirou, looking a little dejected.

It was exactly then that a huge stretch limo pulled up to exactly where the coaches were standing. The super fast limo driver got out of the car and opened the door to reveal…

"Ah, if it isn't Team Captains minus Kentarou plus Jackal!" said Sakaki. "They are only in such an oxymoronic situation because they came in last place in the previous competition!"

Jackal frowned a little bit, but the Captains said yes, whatever Sakaki, have your fun and laugh, because someday we will defeat you.

The next vehicle to arrive was a bus carrying the entirety of the Waitlist Team. Kentarou was quite angry to discover that he had missed beating Team Captain by only a few seconds because he was sure that all of this was all a trick and they planned on taking him back but now…he was pretty much shot down. AGAIN.

"Look on the bright side, though," said Tetsu to his fellow Waitlisted teammate. "There are three teams we arrived before so that means three of us will be put on other teams! You might be one of them!"

"Really?" said Kachirou as his eyes welded up with tears.

"Tetsu, I'm so proud of you for inspiring those younger than you," said Tachibana as he put his hand on Tetsu's shoulder.

"Really, Tachibana?" Tetsu exclaimed as his eyes welded up with tears as well. He almost took his ridiculous head scarf thing in order to wipe away his tears, but he ended up just using his shirt sleeve instead.

About ten minutes later, another bus arrived and it revealed Team Doubles and… Mizuki.

"Mizuki, where's the rest of your team?" asked Ryuuzaki as the bus drove away.

"I don't know," said Mizuki, shrugging flamboyantly.

"Well, it doesn't count until they get here," said Ryuuzaki.

"It doesn't matter anyway," said Sakaki. "After all, the placings are really just split up so that there are a chunk of teams who arrive before the Waitlist Team and a chunk of teams who arrive after the Waitlist Team."

"Oh no!" Eiji exclaimed, looking at his team. "The Waitlist Team got here before us!"

Team Doubles looked at Team Waitlist standing there, and one by one, each of their lips began to quiver at the mere thought of losing one of their teammates.

"Don't worry, just pick me!" said Niou. "After all, I play doubles too!"

"But it's not the same!" wailed Team Doubles as they all hugged each other in vain hopes their gesture would keep them together forever.

By and by, Team Tall arrived in a taxi and was also quite sad to discover they had arrived after the Waitlist Team. Team Hardworking had a similar reaction, but they weren't quite as sad because they knew they wanted to get rid of Mizuki anyway.

"Well, everyone's here!" Ojii noticed as he whipped nine white envelopes out of his pocket.

"In here are directions for the next challenge that will begin right after we make some team adjustments," Sakaki explained. "Depending on the place you arrived, you get certain advantages."

"You said the placing didn't matter!" said the 2nd Years angrily.

"Disregarding the 2nd Years entirely," Ryuuzaki said. "Team Doubles gets to choose first from Team Waitlist since they placed the highest out of the people who arrived after Team Waitlist."

Team Doubles had a very tearful vote and, in the end, there were five votes for Itsuki.

"Five votes?" said Sakaki as he counted again.

"Did you vote for yourself, Itsuki?" Atsushi questioned.

"We were supposed to vote for the person we wanted to win, right?" said Itsuki, looking confused.

Team Doubles patted Itsuki on the head and decided he would certainly be missed, but they had to choose someone from the Waitlist Team out of Kentarou, Akutsu, Niou, Yagyuu and Tetsu.

"You know, Niou had a point about how he plays doubles," Gakuto said.

"I play doubles too, though," said Tetsu.

"Me too," Yagyuu pointed out.

"I _could_!" said Kentarou.

"Stop whoring yourself out!" Team Doubles screamed at him.

So they convened and, in the end, they settled on Tetsu. They had actually considered picking Kentarou simply because he was the only short one and they liked having everyone short except Choutarou because it secretly made them chuckle, but it just didn't seem as funny because Kentarou was a freshman so he had an excuse for being short. So, they decided to go in the complete opposite direction and choose a tall, doubles playing, second year friend for Choutarou to hang out with.

"Thanks guys!" said Tetsu. "But I sort of wanted to be put on Team Captain so I could be with Tachibana."

"How about you just be grateful?" Atsushi suggested.

"All right, so Tetsu is now on Team Doubles and Itsuki is now on Team Waitlist," said Sakaki. "Team Tall, you get to pick next. You can choose any of the five, including Itsuki."

Team Tall looked at each other. "It doesn't matter who we send," Renji said quietly so only his fellow teammates could hear. "Because we've already decided to lose the next competition to get that person back. Does anyone volunteer?"

"I'll do it," said Taka since he's such a nice guy.

"And we should choose someone we won't get attached to and won't mind kicking out in the next round," Renji added.

They looked at Team Waitlist: Kentarou, Niou, Yagyuu, Itsuki and…

"Akutsu," Team Tall all nodded at each other.

So, after the vote, Taka was sent to Team Waitlist, and most of the other people were quite surprised by this because there was no one in the world who disliked Taka so the decision seemed bizarre, especially when they had the option of sending Bane away. But no one knew of Team Tall's fiendish plan!

"And we choose Akutsu," Renji added.

This shocked everyone even more. Who in their right mind would exchange Taka for Akutsu? For realz.

"And, because Akutsu was the captain of Team Waitlist previously, Taka takes his place as captain," Banji added.

"Oh no!" Taka exclaimed. "If I had known that would happen, I never would have agreed to this!"

"Ahh…I see…" Inui said with a nod.

"What do you see?" Yuuta asked Inui.

"I see what they did," Inui said so only his team could hear as the coaches told Team Hardworking to choose someone. "They are going to lose on purpose in the next round so they can get Taka back. That team has formed an alliance."

"How honorable…" Kaidou said, looking amazed.

"We should do the same thing!" said Shishido ambitiously. But then he looked at Mizuki. "Never mind."

"Hey!" said Mizuki, putting his hands on his hips.

"You don't want to be on this team anymore anyway," Yuuta reminded him.

"Oh right," said Mizuki with a nod. "Well, then we should at least foil Team Tall's plans!"

"You mean choose Taka?" Inui gasped as if it that was the most dramatic thing in the entire world.

"Yes, it will be so fiendish and foilsome!" said Mizuki, rubbing his hands together.

But Team Hard Working admired Team Tall too much to do something like that. Besides, it was _Taka _and there's no way they would betray him. And, additionally, Kaidou was the captain so he had the ultimate choice and really… he would _never _do that!

"So we'll do an anonymous vote…" Ojii started.

"No, we're sending Mizuki over," said Inui. "There's no need for an anonymous vote."

"And I send myself!" Mizuki added as he walked over to Team Waitlist.

"Okay…" said the coaches slowly.

"Who do you choose in exchange?" asked Ryuuzaki.

"We choose Kentarou because we recognize his tenacity to get off the Waitlist Team!" said Kaidou immediately.

"We didn't discuss that…" said the rest of the team awkwardly, but it was too late because Kentarou was jumping up into the air and cheering.

"My new best friends!" Kentarou exclaimed as he ran over and pulled Team Hard Working into a big group hug. "I promise I won't let any of you down!"

"Why doesn't anyone ever choose us?" said Niou with a frown as he turned to his bestest friend Yagyuu.

"Maybe we creep them out," Yagyuu shrugged.

"OKAY!" said Sakaki. "This is all fine and dandy. Now, everyone send your captain and take the white envelope with the number on it according to the place you came in during the race. So Team Genius, you take the 1, while Team Tall takes the 9 and everyone in between."

"Your advantages and directions are inside," said Ryuuzaki. "When you have completed the task and collected the item, return to where we started and we will judge you based on the quality of the item and what place you return in!"

"Go!" said Banji as all the coaches sprinted away while the teams tore their envelopes open.

"Wow!" said Kirihara from the Team Genius huddle. "There's a hundred dollars in here!"

"All we got was a ten…" Bane complained to the other members of Team Tall.


	38. We're Not Talking About Shishido

Chapter XXXVIII- "We're Not Talking About Shishido."

"What's it say?" Kachirou asked as he leaned over the shoulders of his teammates while all other teams had opted to go into the mall first.

"It says…" Ryoma said, snatching the directions away and holding them as if he was the only one who could read. And you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if he really was the only one who could read out of those five. "_With Halloween around the corner, it is your job to take the money we have given you and whatever you have at home to make a costume for each member of your group and model it based on the theme we've given you! We will be scoring on how quickly your team returns to the meeting spot and how well executed the show is. Good luck!"_

The team looked at each other. "I think our coaches watch too much reality television," Horio commented.

"Team Genius got one hundred dollars and Team Tall got ten dollars," said Dan. "So, since we came in fourth place, we must have gotten seventy. Right?"

"There's only sixty here!" Katsuo exclaimed.

"Count it again!" Horio added.

"There's more written here," said Ryoma. "It says that the first, second and third place teams each received one hundred, ninety and eight respectively, and the fourth received sixty and it continued down from there."

"Why?" said Dan. "That doesn't make sense."

"I don't know why," said Ryoma. "I'm not _them_."

"It doesn't matter whether we have sixty dollars or seventy dollars because it's still plenty enough to buy awesome costumes at the Halloween store that's right here in the mall!" Horio announced.

"But they'll probably score us on originality like they always do," said Kachirou. "If we just buy costumes then we won't get any points for originality."

"Then what's the point of giving us money?" demanded Horio.

"To _make _costumes," Ryoma said as he took the money and pocketed it because he didn't trust anyone else with it. And if I were him, I don't think I would trust any of them with it either.

"Well then what should we buy?" questioned Katsuo with a flamboyant shrug.

"Can we buy a puppy?" Kachirou asked as his eyes filled with sunshine.

"…" said the others.

"How about some glitter?" Dan suggested.

"You all should probably know what are costumes are before you decide on what we're going to buy for them," Ryoma said, slapping his forehead.

"Good idea," said Horio as he yoinked the directions out of Ryoma's hands and looked them over. "It also says we also need to model our costumes, and on account of the fact that I am the most attractive one in the group, I think you should all listen to my modeling tips!"

They just stared at him and hoped their collective stare would be enough to convince him they didn't agree. Well, they didn't agree with the idea that Horio was the most attractive, but they didn't particularly mind if Horio led the way in the modeling since none of them wanted to do it themselves.

"All right, so Horio is going to be the lead model, then," said Dan. "Is there anything in particular that you want to wear?"

"As long as we cover all of my man parts in a conservative fashion, I'll be satisfied," said Horio, crossing his arms. The rest frowned at him because the last thing they were considering was to make a costume for Horio that was in the least bit revealing, _especially _of his man parts.

"Why are you guys acting as though we get to pick our costumes?" Ryoma said as he took the directions from Horio. "It says specifically on the paper that we're assigned what our costumes are."

"Really?" said Horio. "Where does it say that?"

They looked over the paper but discovered there was nothing written concerning what they're costumes were supposed to be.

"Hey, there's something on the ground here," Dan observed as he picked up a small piece of paper that was folded in half. "This must be what we were assigned!"

Dan slowly unfolded the paper but, at this point, I don't wish to spend anymore time with a stupid loser ugly team. I suppose their new team name can be Stupid Loser Ugly Team, but that will get annoying so I'll make an acronym out of it; Team SLUT! YAY!

Meanwhile, inside the mall, most of the teams had dispersed with the exception of the 2nd and 3rd year teams.

"I think that since we teamed up in order to get here, we should pool our money together and make a fantastic Halloween presentation!" David announced.

"Here here!" cheered the rest of the second years.

"You guys are only saying that because we have more money than you," Yanagisawa said as he and his team flipped through the precious bills.

"Only by ten dollars," Momo pointed out.

"It's still more because we're elder," Ryou said as if that were true.

"No, it's only because our coaches flipped a coin while none of us were looking and you guys happened to win!" Kamio argued.

"Whatever!" said the 3rd Years as they gave their inferiors the hand and strode away from them.

"This is going to be great!" said Jirou excitedly as he took the folded paper from Saeki. "I don't even know what everyone else has to be and I know ours is the best!"

"I have to agree with Jirou," Saeki said, looking satisfied.

"I think we should make it tennis related," Oishi suggested.

"How?" asked Saeki.

"Isn't it obvious?" Oishi replied.

"Oh right…" Saeki said.

Boy oh boy, they sure are vague! Let's see if the 2nd Years are being any _less _vague!

"Ours is dumb!" complained Momo. "We should have gotten a better one because we're cool."

"We probably got this one because we're _not _cool since the coaches probably handed out the themes based on our teams," Shinji said with a shrug.

"What makes you think something like that?" said Hiyoshi. "And more importantly, what makes you think we're not cool and this theme has anything to do with how our team actually is?"

"Everyone knows we're the best and we don't need that kind of attitude coming from you, Shinji," said Kamio, looking disappointed.

"Sorry," said Shinji.

Team Doubles, meanwhile, made their trip to the Halloween Store Shop, lamenting over their measly thirty dollars they had to foolishly squander on a meaningless competition. Besides, they were also still angry about Tetsu's presence and Itsuki's lack of presence.

And it certainly showed because they were practically standing on the other side of the shop as Tetsu pulled something off the shelf to show the others only to discover they were no longer standing in the same general vicinity as him.

"Guys," said Tetsu as he walked over to the other four as they tried to look as though they were observing something on the shelves and they hadn't just abandoned him because he wasn't Itsuki. "I know you're disappointed because you had to lose someone to the Waitlist Team, but I can contribute! I swear!"

"We're sure you can contribute, Tetsu," said Atsushi. "Just not as well as _someone_ could have."

"I don't think you're being fair," said Tetsu.

"Yeah, and I think we're kind of inflating the memory of our lost comrade too," Gakuto added.

"Now that I think about it, he never really did anything to contribute to the team," Eiji said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"What about that time where he helped me perfect my super fast serve?" said Choutarou, putting his hands on his hips.

The others stared at him.

"What?" said Choutarou.

"We're not talking about Shishido," said Gakuto.

"We're not?" said Choutarou. "Then who are we talking about?"

"Itsuki," the other four answered.

"Oh," said Choutarou. "Now I'm embarrassed."

"But anyway," said Eiji. "I guess we can stop being petty and accept to Tetsu. For the time being, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Tetsu, looking distressed.

"Nothing, nothing," said Eiji, perhaps maybe even appearing a little sinister.

"Now let's shop for these costumes!" said Atsushi as they all jumped up and punched the air. Yes, like Power Rangers.

Meanwhile, Team Tall had decided to go to the food court to satisfy their massive appetites and they didn't bother pretending as though they liked Akutsu because they purposely picked out a table that only had four chairs and sat down without even saying anything to him. Akutsu wasn't really offended because he knew no one liked him but he was miffed for their disrespect.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" he demanded.

The other four tall people only looked at him and shrugged. They weren't particularly afraid of Akutsu for several reasons. First of all, they were all just as tall as him and, often times, weighed more. In addition, both Sanada and Bane have proven to be quite the violent people so they could easily stand up to Akutsu, while Kabaji is a lump and even if Akutsu punched him, it wouldn't bother him. As for Renji, he would just stand back and collect data as usual so he probably wanted to instigate a fight, knowing him.

"When are we going to get our stupid costumes?" Akutsu demanded as he grabbed a chair and wedged it into the table even though the people around him obviously didn't want him there.

"We don't feel like participating," Bane said flatly.

"What?" said Akutsu, raising an eyebrow. "You guys don't care about the tennis camp?"

They had previously decided to lie and tell Akutsu that's what the truth was, but now that they were in the situation, they found themselves unable to tell such a heinous lie. So, against their better judgment, they explained their entire plan to Akutsu.

"So," said Akutsu. "You didn't pick me because you like me the most. You picked me because you _hate _me the most."

"Yeah…pretty much…" Bane answered. "But you knew that, didn't you?"

"Sure, whatever," said Akutsu as he stood up and walked away but he was secretly crying on the inside. He happened to walk by the Hardworking Team who was also in the food court brainstorming. He hissed at them and they hissed right back because naturally gifted people are the ones the Hardworking Team hates the most!

"What's wrong with him besides the obvious?" said Shishido with an angry squint.

"Probably just the obvious," said Yuuta.

"Anyway, what's the plan, guys?" said Kentarou excitedly.

"It's good that we can think of a plan without Mizuki inhibiting us as usual," Inui noted.

"Not to defend Mizuki or anything, but when it came to the planning part, he was usually pretty good at it," Yuuta pointed out.

"No he wasn't," said Inui as he adjusted his glasses, but he was probably just bitter because he knew it was true.

"If we could spend as much money as we wanted to on our costumes then we could make good ones," said Kaidou.

"Yeah," said Shishido. "We only have twenty dollars. That's hardly enough to cover one person after looking at all the prices at the Halloween store."

"Did you guys really run all the way here to the mall?" Kentarou questioned.

"For the fifth time, YES WE DID," said Kaidou awfully impatiently. "You're making me regret the decision of bringing you to this team."

"Don't say that!" Kentarou begged.

"Actually, we were all pretty taken aback by that decision, Kaidou," Inui said.

"I wanted to recognize his ambition, but now I don't care!" said Kaidou.

"Guys, guys, it's only one incident," said Yuuta, trying to be the peacemaker.

"Yuuta's right," Shishido agreed. "He's nowhere near as bad as Mizuki."

"That's not what I said!" said Yuuta despairingly.

This cyclical conversation continued but we don't care about it! We'll just move onto Team Captains.

"It sure is a good thing you're filthy rich, Atobe," said Tachibana as the whole team stood inside of Atobe's gigantic closet that was probably bigger than all of their houses. _Combined_.

"Yes, but just because I'm filthy rich doesn't mean I have costumes that would be appropriate for this situation," said Atobe with a sigh. "It's sort of random."

"Why didn't we even bother with this generous amount of spending money we received?" questioned Jackal but he was ignored because he did not have captain status.

Then the captains of the captains spoke up and said, "I'm sure we can think of something."

Tezuka's eyes wandered to the tennis section of Atobe's giant closet. He remained fixated on it for a long time as everyone else searched through the closet, perhaps in search of Narnia, but they seemed disappointed. One by one, they joined Tezuka over on the tennis side of the closet.

"Are you all thinking what I'm thinking?" Tezuka asked the other four.

"Play tennis?" Jackal asked, looking confused.

"Even better," said Tachibana as the four captains did a secret handshake of knowingness that Jackal felt ultimately left out of.

"Don't worry Jackal, we'll teach you the secret handshake," said Yukimura supportively even though they probably didn't have any intention of doing so.

Meanwhile, the Waitlist Team found they were struggling with life so they finally looked at each other and decided it was time for some introductions. After establishing that, they felt much better. And you've probably forgotten as well who is on this team; Taka, Mizuki, Niou, Yagyuu and Itsuki.

"I think our costumes fairly represent our team as a whole!" Niou announced. "Because it shows exactly what we must do in order to come back in this competition!"

"That's awfully morbid," said Yagyuu.

"Enough with your playful banter!" Mizuki said. "As captain—"

"Didn't the coaches make Taka the captain?" Itsuki asked.

"Oh, I don't mind," said Taka with a shrug.

"I meant as someone who has captain status under normal circumstances," Mizuki said.

"But you don't even have that," Yagyuu pointed out. "You're just the manager."

"Well I'm closer to captain than you guys are," said Mizuki. "So everyone has to listen to me!"

They couldn't possibly argue with that logic, especially since Taka didn't look like he was going to step up to the plate. So they allowed Mizuki to lead the way to the Halloween store.

"You seem to like being on the Waitlist Team," Taka observed while looking at Mizuki who didn't seem phased.

"I'm just glad to be off that psychotic team I was on," said Mizuki. "Did you know that instead of waiting two minutes for a bus, they chose to run to this mall instead from where we started?"

"I had heard that," Taka admitted.

"Well, you didn't seem too worried about being on the Waitlist Team either," Yagyuu pointed out to Taka.

"Yeah, it almost seems like you _volunteered _to go," Niou said, crossing his arms.

"Um…no I…didn't?" Taka said unconvincingly.

Just then, they crossed paths with Team Genius. Everyone on that team was already carrying bags and walking in the opposite direction of the Halloween store, towards the exit of the mall.

"I'm so glad you guys decided to get hardcore," Kirihara said to his teammates as they all got on a bus to take them back to the coaches. ALREADY! I know, WTF!

"Yeah well," said the others as they shrugged as if it were no big deal.

"Um…there's no chance that you guys will…you know, become UN hardcore?" Kirihara asked nervously.

"No, once we go hardcore, there's no going back," said Fuji.

"Good," said Kirihara, relieved.

"Unless we stop caring," Marui added.

"Tell me, why do we care again?" Sengoku asked.

"Because the other teams viewed us as the most incompetent and useless so we had to prove them wrong," Oshitari replied.

"Oh right," said Sengoku.

"And let's show them why we're called the Geniuses!" said Kirihara ambitiously.

"Unless we prove it enough and we can just go back to doing the bare minimum and not caring," Fuji added.

"So you guys only care about how the others perceive you?" Kirihara said. "You don't care about the tennis camp at all?"

"A little bit," said Marui. "But not enough to do stupid things like this."

"Because we're obviously the best already," said Oshitari.

"What about Ryoma?" said Kirihara.

"That's true… he _is _the Prince of Tennis…" Sengoku said thoughtfully.

"Why didn't you bring that up sooner?" Marui said, slapping Kirihara upside the head.

"So are we motivated for good now?" said Kirihara.

"Yes," all of the other Geniuses answered definitively.

Then there was a slight pause.

"…Maybe," they all finished together.


	39. Should We Swear?

Chapter XXXIX- "Should We Swear?"

"I must say, we are _sorely _disappointed with the presentation we were just… presented with!" Ryuuzaki announced.

"If any of you have hopes of going to this tennis camp, you must be ready to go all the way and truly put your pride on the line!" Sakaki added.

"If you think you can get through this by only putting in fifty percent, then you are sadly mistaken," Ojii said.

"As a matter of fact, I hardly think one hundred percent is nearly enough in order to attend such a prestigious tennis camp!" Banji finished.

All the coaches looked at each other and nodded.

"Okay, that's what we'll say to them regardless of what they present to us just so they'll feel obligated to do better," said Ryuuzaki.

"Should we swear?" Sakaki questioned.

The others gasped. "Keep in mind, none of these boys are older than fourteen!" said Ojii.

"It's true, their virgin ears should not hear foul language," said Banji, putting a hand over his heart.

"Personally, I agree with Sakaki," said Ryuuzaki. "The message will sink in better if we swore."

"Thank you, Ryuuzaki," said Sakaki.

"How about if the presentations are _actually _bad… then we'll swear!" said Ojii.

Banji stared at the other three. "How come we're speaking in this predefined order?" he asked curiously.

"Huh?" said Ryuuzaki.

"What are you talking about?" Sakaki said.

"Yeah, what predefined order?" questioned Ojii.

"You're right, maybe I'm just imagining things," shrugged Banji.

Just then, Team Genius strolled over since they were in absolutely no hurry whatsoever since they knew for a fact that they were the first ones back and that they were the most badass of all the other teams combined.

"You guys are back already?" said Sakaki, totally breaking the predefined order the coaches had been speaking in previously.

"Yes," said Sengoku. "Are you surprised?"

"Well frankly, yes," Sakaki admitted.

"Why?" said Marui. "You all know for a fact that we're more badass than all the other teams combined, don't you?"

The coaches coughed but they didn't dare say otherwise because they didn't want to be on Team Genius's list of people to kill.

"We didn't expect anyone to be back for quite a while," said Ryuuzaki.

"Yeah, don't you guys have to do anything to improve your costumes or work on them or anything like that?" Ojii tried.

Team Genius looked at each other and then back at the coaches.

"No," they answered in unison.

"Well, in that case, we'll all just have to stand here twiddling our fingers while we wait for the other teams to join us," said Banji.

"All right," said Team Genius.

With that, Team Genius and the coaches all began twiddling their fingers, waiting around for the other teams to join them.

"So uh…where are your costumes?" Ryuuzaki said since the silence was making her uncomfortable.

"In these bags," said Oshitari as they each held up their own bag.

"Why don't you all go change into them then?" suggested Ojii.

"It seems a little silly to change into them when there isn't even anyone else here," Fuji remarked.

"Ah yes, so it does," Ojii agreed.

So there was more twiddling and more standing and more waiting for everyone else to join them.

"Aren't you guys bored or anything?" asked Ryuuzaki.

"No, not particularly," said Kirihara. "But I can't speak for everyone…"

"We're fine," Marui said.

Again with the twiddling.

Finally, Sakaki just cracked and said, "If you five are such geniuses, why can't you tell that we feel awkward with your basic presence and we wish you would kindly go away and come back in an hour or so?"

The five geniuses looked at Sakaki.

"Of course we noticed," said Sengoku.

"We just like watching people suffer," said Fuji.

That made all the geniuses look at him.

"Speak for yourself," Oshitari said.

"What?" said Fuji. "Don't you agree?"

"Not really," said Marui uneasily.

"You mean to tell me that you don't enjoy watching people suffer?" said Fuji as if he couldn't possibly fathom the idea of a genius _not _enjoying watching people suffer like him.

"No, I think that's a special trait that is excluded solely to you and various sadists or mass murderers," said Sengoku.

"Oh," said Fuji as if that comment was in no way offensive. "If that's the case, then why are the four of you standing around?"

"Obviously it's because we wand to be the first people here," said Kirihara. "If we left now then when we come back, other teams might beat us."

"You guys can leave if you want and we'll make sure you come in first place anyway," said Ojii.

"First place, as in you were the first to arrive here," Banji specified. "Not that you automatically win the competition because you still have to compete and show us your costumes."

"So, theoretically, if we left and then came back last, you'll still act as though we were the first ones to arrive?" Marui clarified.

"Well, that seems fair," said Oshitari. "After all, we were the first ones to arrive but they told us to go away."

"Absolutely," said Ryuuzaki.

"Seems fair enough," said Kirihara. "In the meantime, we'll have time to discuss why it has to be _me _who gets the worst costume."

"Oh don't start this again," said Sengoku, slapping his forehead.

"I just don't see why it's me!" said Kirihara. "I'm the captain so I should get first choice!"

"Yes, but you're also a second year and we're all third years," Fuji responded.

"Besides, my costume is way worse than yours," said Marui.

With that, the geniuses all walked away while continuing to bicker about who should be stuck with the worst costume. This, again, left the coaches all alone to continue to discuss how they would further torture their beloved tennis players even more, if it was truly possible.

"What haven't we done yet?" questioned Banji.

"Perhaps we could force them to make puppets," said Ryuuzaki.

"Puppets?" said Sakaki, sounding offended. "That's pathetic."

"But we could make it challenging," said Ryuuzaki, trying to defend her pathetic idea. "You know, give them ten minutes to make a puppet! And then… make them think up a skit right on the spot! With their puppets!"

"No, the puppet idea doesn't work," said Ojii.

"Fine," said Ryuuzaki. "I don't care then. You guys have to think up the next idea of what they have to do because I thought up the Halloween costume fashion show."

"We should make them do another talent show," said Banji. "I liked the talent show."

"I agree," said Ojii. "I, too, enjoyed the talent show."

"And if we made them do it again then they would know this time what our standards are and all the teams that did a bad job would do a good job this time around. And the teams that did a good job would know that the other teams will be trying harder and therefore they would try harder as well!"

"But there's still the issue that we've _already _done a talent show," said Ryuuzaki, but she was probably going to say she didn't like the idea no matter what they said.

"What about a three legged race…?" said Ojii thoughtfully.

"But they're teams of five," Sakaki pointed out.

Before the extremely enthralling conversation could continue any further, they suddenly heard something in the distance coming up over the hill; it was the not-so-melodious sound of a not-so-good joke being told.

"And then God says to Jesus and Satan—" David was saying.

"WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT," yelled everyone.

"Ah, it seems Team 2nd Year is the second to arrive!" announced Ryuuzaki, trying to interrupt David because she didn't like his jokes and puns just as much as the next person.

"Second?" Momo said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Yes, Team Genius came and left," said Sakaki. "We made them leave because they were being creepy."

"Oh, that's understandable…" said Kamio thoughtfully.

"Well," said Ojii. "Why doesn't David tell us a hilarious joke in order to pass the time?"

Everyone felt like strangling Ojii, but they had to admit they were curious about a joke that involved God speaking to Jesus and Satan simultaneously.

"All right!" cheered David. "Okay, I'll start from the beginning. So one day, Jesus and Satan were in an argument over who was more superior and who was more worshipped. The argument got _so _heated the God eventually got involved in order to keep innocent earthlings from feeling the wrath of the trials they had originally set up to prove who was better.

"So God said to Jesus and Satan, 'We can have the very same challenges but on the computer!' He gave them each the same computer with no advantages to either of them and said the task would involve making an extremely complicated spreadsheet that would prove speed, intelligence and resourcefulness.

"And the competition began. Both worked diligently and it was impossible to tell whose spreadsheet was better. Then, by some sheer accidental incident, lightning struck both of the computers, causing the power to go out and both of the computers to shut down. Satan cursed angrily as he rebooted his computer and opened up a new spreadsheet to start over, and happened to lean over and notice Jesus was opening a file and still had all of the data he had already put into the spreadsheet before the power had gone out.

"Satan demanded, 'Why did I lose my information but Jesus still has all of his?' God simply smiled and replied, 'Jesus saves.'"

David had hardly even finished the joke before he was attacked by everyone within a three mile radius of where he was standing.

"I feel as though Ojii is partially responsible for this abomination!" said Sakaki. "He was the one who gave David the permission to tell that joke."

"That is three precious minutes of my life that I will never get back," Hiyoshi sighed sadly.

"Hey, why so down?" David cried once air had returned to his shriveled lungs from being strangled. "Turn that frown upside down! And then…" He paused a moment as if he was trying to decide whether or not it was worth it.

"I dare you," said Momo, pounding one fist into his palm.

"And then turn your butt sideways!" David yelled.

He was about to be attacked, but instead everyone just stood and scratched the tops of their heads, more confused than angry.

"What?" said Shinji. "What does that even mean? There is no correlation between a frown and a butt and there's no reason for that to be even considered a joke because it's not funny and, what's more, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever."

"Well, it helped me avoid a beating," said David as he shrugged flamboyantly.

"That's true!" said everyone as they gave each other thumbs up.

And, since this is going at an extremely slow and excruciating rate, I'm just going to say that, by and by, all the rest of the teams showed up in this order: Team Waitlist, Team Doubles, Team Hard Working, Team 3rd Years, Team Captain, Team SLUT and then Team Tall. Team Genius returned from getting ice cream and it was clear they did not yet come to a conclusion of who had to wear the worst costume because they were still bickering about it.

"Enough of this!" said Ryuuzaki. "We're going to start the competition! We'll go in backwards order of when you arrived to do the show, starting with Team Tall! So get changed into your costumes and WOW us!"

She gestured towards a curtain they had set up when no one was looking specifically for getting changed behind. Team Tall looked at each other and shrugged, then proceeded to get behind the curtain to get changed for the fashion show…


	40. We Are a Tennis Playing Gangster Gang!

Chapter XL- "We are a Tennis Playing Gangster Gang!"

"Akutsu, why aren't you going behind the curtain to get changed?" said Ryuuzaki, putting her hands on her hips.

But Akutsu only stood there like a big smoking dragon…puppet.

With that, the rest of Team Tall poked their heads out of the curtain.

"Uh…" said Bane uneasily. "We actually have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Ojii asked.

"Go ahead," Bane said to Renji.

"Why should I?" said Renji. "You're the captain."

Bane pouted, but he knew Renji was right, so he faced the coaches and looked apologetic. "We…didn't get any costumes," he said.

The coaches only stood there with expressions on their faces that they couldn't possibly understand anything less than what Bane had just said. Instead of asking Bane to repeat himself and explain, they turned to each other and tried to figure it out amongst themselves.

"We...accidentally spent the money on…sandwiches?" Sanada said, trying to save them a little bit of dignity, but he pretty much made it worse.

"We are very disappointed in you," said Sakaki. "And your team theme was my favorite one!"

"They were the Vikings?" Banji exclaimed, looking disappointed as he peered at the clipboard Sakaki was holding.

"We are sorely disappointed," Sakaki repeated.

"Sorry," said Team Tall as they bowed their heads in shame except for Akutsu who only stood there like a big smoking dragon puppet. I don't think anyone in the world should be compared to a big smoking dragon puppet, but somehow Akutsu manages to pull it off.

"Your team also managed to arrive here _last_," said Ryuuzaki. "I'm very disappointed."

"I think it's a given you should accept last place," Banji pointed out. The other teams cheered.

"Well, although we are _quite _disappointed," said Ojii _again_. "We are going to move on. Team…er…what is your acronym now?"

"We decided to rearrange the letters of our names to create an acronym!" Horio announced.

"And it is…?" Sakaki led.

"Khrdk!" Horio said, but it basically just sounded like he had a seizure in his mouth.

"I told you it would sound stupid," said Ryoma, slapping his forehead.

"Why don't we just abandon this foolish running gag and call them Team Freshmen?" asked Ryuuzaki. "I think it would eliminate a lot of confusion for everyone involved."

"Personally, I don't think it's fair that the Freshmen get to choose their own name and we're all forced to have lame names like Team Hard Working," said Shishido.

"I like our team name," said Fuji to his fellow geniuses. They, of course, agreed.

"Well, whatever!" said Banji, but then Ryuuzaki leaned over and whispered something in his ear, which of course caused the entirety of the coaches to gather and discuss something.

"That's it!" Sakaki whispered discreetly. "The perfect next challenge!"

"What is?" Banji questioned.

"They'll have to think up team names and we'll judge on creativity, originality and all that other stuff!" Ojii explained.

"Aha!" said Banji, pointing his finger up in the air. "It's brilliant!"

"But we should probably make our way through this one before we get too excited about the next one," Ryuuzaki reminded them.

They turned to face their tennis players and inquired about the whereabouts of Team SLUT just in case they had been stuffed in lockers, but all of the elder students (with the exception of Kentarou) reported that the freshmen had gone behind the curtain to change into their costumes.

"Wonderful!" said Sakaki. "At least they brought costumes unlike _some _teams we know!"

All the coaches glared at Team Tall.

Unfortunately for them, the freshmen had just stepped out from behind the curtain. Everyone was pretty confused because all that had changed about them was they had taken off their shoes, had a sheet wrapped around each of their necks and were wielding swords from the Halloween store.

After a few minutes of everyone staring at them in confusion, Momo finally spoke up and said, "I don't get it. Are they super heroes?"

"I should hope not," said Atobe.

"I'm not sure I understand your vision either," said Ryuuzaki. "Aren't you supposed to be Hobbits?"

"Obviously," said Horio.

"Hobbits?" everyone repeated in disbelief.

"I did not get hobbits _at all_," declared Jirou as if his opinion mattered to anyone except himself.

"Do hobbits carry swords?" said Ojii.

"They do if they're on epic journeys," said Kachirou.

"I told you we shouldn't have wasted all our money on buying the swords!" said Katsuo.

"What's with the sheets?" inquired Sakaki.

"They're our cloaks," said Dan, looking somewhat ashamed that an explanation was required.

"All right…" said Ryuuzaki slowly.

"So…your team showed up second to last..." said Sakaki, making a note on his clipboard. "Just so you know, you barely placed above Team Tall."

"What?" demanded Horio. "But they forfeited!"

"We didn't forfeit!" argued Bane. "We were just hungry, that's all!"

"All I'm saying is that you better pray everyone did worse than you," said Banji. "Which, I think, might take effort."

The freshmen bowed their heads in shame but no one felt bad for them because they're freshmen and therefore they should be humiliated. So, in fact, everyone laughed as they dejectedly took off the sheets and put their shoes back on. At least they each got a sweet plastic sword out of the deal.

"Next up is Team Captains," said Ojii. "And we're expecting great things from you guys."

"And you won't be disappointed," said Tachibana.

"Even though you showed up third to last?" Sakaki said.

"That just goes to show how much time and effort went into making these costumes superior to everyone else's," said Yukimura with a content smile as the captains all disappeared behind the curtains. Well, except Kentarou. He only watched them with hate in his eyes.

Poor Kentarou doesn't really belong anywhere; it's always, the freshmen except Kentarou or the captains except Kentarou. He just needs some friends. He needs to be on Rokkaku where he can do sea activities all day and have people who respect him.

After a few minutes, the entirety of Team Captains except Jackal burst through the curtains, striking a dramatic pose. They were each dressed in their appointed tennis teams' uniforms, except they had masks over their eyes and bandanas and dramatic capes and sashes that clearly several of Atobe's servants spent a lot of time putting together! Then Jackal came running out a few seconds after them dressed in a lamer version of Yukimura's costume and doing jazz hands. Clearly, he was a sidekick.

"Wow, they even did a dramatic entrance!" announced Sakaki as he applauded.

"Well…daw…" said Team Captains as they embarrassedly kicked the dirt in front of them.

"So… you're a team of tennis themed super heroes?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Yes, we are," said Yukimura as he removed his mask. "My super hero name is Rikkai Dai Man."

"From there, I can assume everyone else's name," said Ryuuzaki.

"I'm Rikkai Dai Boy," said Jackal, sounding proud.

"I said I could assume," said Ryuuzaki.

"Well, this is great!" said Ojii. "They even thought up names for themselves!"

"It's not like it took any effort to think up those names," said Gakuto. "What would be like saying I'm creative for thinking up a name like Gakuto Man."

"That _is _creative, Gakuto," said Oshitari.

Gakuto looked at Oshitari with a raised eyebrow. "What?" he said.

"I don't know," said Oshitari with a shrug. "We haven't interacted for a while."

"That's true!" said Gakuto, putting his hands on his hips. "What's up with that?"

"I have no idea," said Oshitari. "I guess it just comes with being individuals whom are solely identified by a single personality trait. You by your doubles, and me by my genius abilities."

"Uh…that's not exactly what I was thinking…" Gakuto admitted.

"Ahem!" said Ryuuzaki, clearing her throat. "Neither of you are on the team we are discussing right now so be quiet."

"Team Captains," said Ojii. "We are very impressed with your costumes and your originality. You did much better than both Team Tall and the freshmen combined."

"I feel like combining those two would come out with something in the negative numbers," said Atobe.

"Hey…" said the tallest and the shortest people, bowing their heads in shame.

"Let's keep trucking along and get a look at some more of these beautiful costumes!" said Ryuuzaki. Team 3rd Years, you're up."

Team 3rd Years were all in a huddle at that point.

"What do we do?" said Yangisawa. "They made their costumes tennis themed as well! And we're going right after them! They're not going to give us points for originality!"

"Don't worry," said Oishi. "We've placed excellently in all the challenges so far and we'll do so this time as well!"

"Not to mention the fact we have the best costumes out there," said Saeki.

"That's true, we do," said Ryou.

"So what are we waiting for?" Jirou asked.

"Team 3rd Years, are you forfeiting?" questioned Ojii.

"No!" said Team 3rd Years as they hastily ran behind the curtain so they could change into their awesome outfits.

Everyone was expecting something awesome from Team 3rd Years because, as they had stated on several occasions, they always placed well in the challenges they had encountered thus far. They also knew the 3rd Years had a significant amount of money to start with so even their purchased props would be superior.

After a few minutes, the four of them pushed the curtains aside and there stood a collaboration of gigantic t-shirts, bling and rolled up pant legs. There were doo rags. Good god, there were doo rags.

At first, the coaches were speechless. Team 3rd Years all struck ghangster poses as if they had previously thought up their formation and, knowing them, they probably had.

"I feel like we should have some music," said Jirou as he started bobbing his head.

"You know," said Ryuuzaki slowly. "When we wrote 'gangsters' on the card we gave you, we figured you would interpret it as those 1940s gangsters with the suits and the fedoras."

"That wasn't specified," Saeki pointed out.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet!" said Ryou. "We're all packin'!"

Everyone dove to the ground as Team 3rd Years reached behind their backs. However, much to their surprise and excitement, the team only pulled tennis rackets out.

"We are a tennis playing gangster gang!" said Oishi as he struck a ghangster pose but no one could take him seriously because he was Oishi.

"We can see that," said Ojii.

"Well, now that you've thoroughly managed to frighten us, perhaps we should move onto the next team…" said Ryuuzaki awkwardly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" said Jirou, putting his hands on his hips.

"We thought you would come as 1940s gangsters, not like a gang… who plays tennis…" Ryuuzaki explained.

"Hey, the card said, 'gangsters' and that's it!" argued Yanagisawa.

"On account of the fact that we interpreted it our own way full of originality, don't you think we should be rewarded instead of penalized?" Saeki questioned. "After all, most of these competitions are about originality, and if we were to forsake that then what would that make the point of these challenges?"

The coaches were nearly brought to tears with Saeki's speech.

"You're right!" said Banji. "It was amazing!"

"Hey!" said Horio. "Then…same goes for us! We interpreted a minimalist outlook on hobbits and—"

"Don't bother," said Ryoma as he hit Horio over the head with the plastic sword. After it connected, Ryoma had a single instant in which he wished the sword was real, but quickly vanquished the thought of murder from his mind.

"All right, I've made a few adjustments to the score, and now we can move onto the next team to arrive…Team Hardworking!" said Sakaki. "And I sure am curious to see how you pulled this one off with such a small amount of money."

Team Hardworking only glared angrily at the coaches and wandered off behind the curtains. Perhaps they were glaring because they were angry with the coaches for giving them a difficult group to get costumes for, or perhaps they were angry about the fact that they received so little money. They may have even been glaring because of the scoring system that had just been altered for the 3rd Years, or maybe they were mad because they knew their costumes were bad so therefore they were glaring in vain hope that the coaches would be so frightened that they would give them higher scores anyway.

As it would happen, none of these reasons are correct. The real reason they are angry is simply that they are hard workers, so therefore they are bitter and full of so many glares they sometimes don't know what to do with them.


	41. Don't Go There, Momo

Chapter XLI- "Don't Go There, Momo."

There was a considerable amount of time in between the point when Team Hard Working went behind the curtain and when Team Hard Working emerged from the curtain. None of them looked very happy and they were certainly wearing an extremely bare minimum type outfit that was very out of character for their team.

"What is this?" said Sakaki. "You don't even have weapons."

"We didn't have enough money," they all said.

"What are they supposed to be?" questioned Atsushi, raising his hand.

Everyone looked at them; they each had a varying colored green shirt on except Kentarou who was wearing a red bathrobe. The ones in green each had a different colored bandana; Kaidou had a blue one, Inui had a purple one, Yuuta had an orange one and Shishido had a red one. Other than that, there didn't seem to be anything different from what any of them would wear or look like any other day.

"Supposedly the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," said Ojii, looking at the clipboard.

"Whoa!" said Momo immediately. "That's such a cool one! I wish _we _got that one!"

Basically everyone agreed, but Team Hard Working just stood there looking angry.

"What is with the never ending death glares?" questioned Ryuuzaki.

"The Hardest Working people are, without a doubt, the individuals who deserve to go to the tennis camp the most," said Inui. "And we have all decided that this competition is solely for humiliation purposes and is no way weeding out the ones who truly deserve to attend the tennis camp."

The coaches seemed offended at first, but then they looked awkward.

"Is it true?" asked Hiyoshi since he doesn't have a personality so it might as well be him or else he might just never get a chance to say anything.

"Of course not!" said Sakaki. "How dare you all say something like that! Your group was the fifth to show up and your costumes are terrible! The only reason you're going to place above the freshmen is because you arrived before them!"

"Don't you think they should place below us because we at least tried?" questioned Kachirou.

"You tried?" said Banji.

"Yes…" cried the freshmen team.

"Well this has been several upsetting disappointments!" said Ryuuzaki. "Three teams have failed to put in sufficient effort! We have half a mind to decide who gets to go to the tennis camp right now!"

Everyone perked up and leaned in to listen.

"But we're not going to do that!" said Ryuuzaki. "Because we have a contest to judge in order to eventually decide who deserves to go to the camp!"

"Can you at least tell us if any certain teams have no chance of making it to the tennis camp?" asked Shishido. "Because, frankly, we're tired of working so hard without a tangible goal."

"I never expected Team Hard Working to be the first ones to quit," said Ojii.

"Since no one on Team Hard Working wants to participate anymore, can Team Waitlist become Team Hard Working?" asked Niou.

"We never said we wanted to quit!" said Yuuta frantically. "Well, I won't speak for everyone, but I definitely don't want to quit!"

"That's the spirit, Yuuta," said Fuji proudly as if he had done anything to spawn Yuuta's determined cries. Yuuta only gave Fuji an annoyed glare because he knew Fuji was trying to take credit for his determinedness, which was just ridonkulous. Fuji was, of course, unaffected by this glare because his own face can reflect lasers.

"Yes, Yuuta is right," said Inui.

"We're not dropping out of the competition, we're just voicing our opinions," Kaidou added.

"Well stop it," Sakaki ordered.

"I'm Splinter," said Kentarou.

"We could tell," Ryuuzaki said.

"Really?" Kentarou asked.

"Yes, the bathrobe was a dead giveaway," Ryuuzaki replied.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Kentarou asked sarcastically.

"Yes," said Ryuuzaki. And, before Kentarou could complain about no one respecting him, Ryuuzaki announced, "Team Doubles! Since you arrived fourth, it is your turn to present your costumes to us!"

"I'll have you know ahead of time that we put lots of effort into this," said Eiji proudly. "We took everything into account beyond the costumes itself! We considered hair, height and everything else that composes the characters we were assigned to make sure it was perfect."

"Oh?" said Sakaki. "That's good to know."

"Everything Eiji just said is not a lie," said Gakuto.

"They're obviously just sucking up!" called some annoyed participant from the crowd of people who play tennis. With as many people as there are, it's pretty surprising how often everyone remains helpfully quiet. I know if there was a group of almost fifty middle school boys in one spot where _I _live, most of time would be taken up with telling them all to be quiet. But of course, we must realize that these particular middle school boys are not average middle school boys. They play tennis and they're responsible. And they play tennis. And they play tennis too.

With that, Team Doubles disappeared behind the curtain to change into their costumes. The others were a little excited because after such an introduction, they expected the result to be great if they had really spent that much time deciding who should be who. After all, in most cases, the other teams just tried to do whatever they could to finish since no one wanted to be doing this in the first place.

"Just so you know," said Atsushi as he poked his head out of the curtain. "We weren't entirely true to every single one of the costumes and interpreted them creatively."

"And what does that mean?" Ryuuzaki questioned.

"Just wait!" said Eiji as he pulled Atsushi back in.

After more anticipation, Gakuto stuck his head out of the curtain, but there was a very facially distracting aspect of his…well…face. He had on thick rimmed square glasses, which was certainly out of the ordinary, and took everyone aback.

"Are you all ready for this?" said Gakuto in the fashion remincient of that song that goes: "You all ready for this? Da-nuh nuh nuh…nuh-nuh…nuh-nuh-nuh…" Well, you get the picture.

The curtain suddenly flew open and there was an explosion of confetti as the rest of the team leapt out in their brightly colored outfits. Gakuto had on an orange sweater and bright red shorts, and Choutarou had on long brown pants and a green shirt. All the while, Tetsu looked almost like he was dressed in a sailor outfit complete with the handkerchief around his neck and Atsushi had a purple jumpsuit on and his bandana was purple as well.

As the confetti settled, the four of them stood there in their dramatic poses as if waiting for something else to happen. Gakuto finally nudged Choutarou in the back.

"Oh right," said Choutarou. "Scooby Doo! Where are you?"

"Rover rere!" Eiji shouted so enthusiastically that basically everyone died a little inside as he dove out from behind them dressed entirely in a full out dog suit. Of course, with the appearance of Eiji, everyone else immediately saw that the rest of the team was dressed as the various Scooby Doo characters, and the creative interpretations were clearly to make certain characters male so there would be no unfortunate cross dressing experiences that would scar them for life.

The coaches clapped because they of course adored the theatrics of it all.

"And we like how you didn't go out and buy the Scooby Doo costumes at the Halloween store," commented Ojii.

"We didn't really have enough money to do that," Gakuto admitted.

"So you spent all the money on that dog suit?" Banji suggested.

"Oh this?" said Eiji, looking at what he was wearing quite proudly.

"No, Eiji had that in his closet," Atsushi said as if it were totally normal.

"Oh," said the coaches, and almost everyone in the group of tennis players except for maybe the ones on Seigaku, but especially Oishi who only looked slightly embarrassed.

"Now I'm just curious," said Sakaki. "What did you spend the money on?"

"The…confetti," Choutarou answered as if it were obvious.

"Ohhh…" said the coaches, nodding.

"Well I must as that you did a very excellent job," said Ryuuzaki. "And we approve of your creative interpretations of the characters."

"All right!" cheered Team Doubles as they hugged each other.

"You can all get changed before we go onto the next group if you want," said Ojii.

Team Doubles seemed confused. "We're fine," they all answered at the same time. AS IF WHAT THEY WERE WEARING WAS NORMAL.

After confirming they were sure, the coaches turned to the team that had arrived just before them; Team Waitlist!

"I'll have you know I carried this team through this challenge!" Mizuki announced.

"Why didn't you ever bother being productive while you were on _our _team?" Shishido demanded angrily.

"You guys failed this challenge on your own accord," said Mizuki as he pushed the rest of Team Waitlist, Taka, Niou, Yagyuu and Itsuki, behind the curtains. "Don't try to blame it on me."

Team Hard Working shook their fists at Mizuki and suddenly felt that maybe they should have tried a little harder just to show Mizuki they didn't need him.

"Let's see it, Team Waitlist!" Sakaki ordered after they had spent a long time behind the curtain.

"You can't rush fashion!" Mizuki called.

Everyone sighed as they continued to wait.

Finally, a hand shot out from behind the curtain. The hand obviously belonged to Mizuki, and he was holding a small portable CD player, and he placed it on the ground. He pressed the 'play' button and 'Thriller' started playing, which surprised everyone because they had never even thought about bringing music.

Mizuki flung the curtains open and strutted out like a model on a catwalk. He was wearing an extremely costumed vampire outfit, but he strutted it like it was the highest thing in fashion, turning and posing dramatically, and then returning to the curtain where the rest of his team was only standing awkwardly and waiting for him to come back. It was pretty obvious that the catwalk had not been apart of their original plan but Mizuki had decided right then and there that he wanted to do it, so he did it.

After Mizuki finished posing, he turned the music off. The rest of the team was dressed up as various other undead creatures like zombies and mummies but, as a whole the presentation wasn't particularly well done. It was almost as if they had spent all their money on Mizuki's costume and then haphazardly threw the rest of them together, which probably wasn't terribly far from the truth.

"Uh…" was the basic reaction of everyone around.

Yagyuu slapped his forehead, and Niou looked somewhat uneasy. Itsuki had an ultimate questionable expression on his face while Taka tried to look elsewhere as if he were too embarrassed to see the coaches' reactions.

"Right…" said Sakaki since he realized no one else was going to say anything. "That was…very nice."

He slowly began to clap and everyone else joined in since they were at a loss for anything else to do.

"Right, so who's next?" Banji asked, checking Sakaki's clipboard.

"Team 2nd Years, on account of the fact they showed up second," Sakaki replied.

"Even though we were actually the first ones here, but the coaches obviously like Team Genius the best," said Momo controversially.

"Don't go there, Momo," Fuji said in an entirely unthreatening tone, but you know he actually was threatening.

"Just so you know, we don't have a mini skit or a catwalk or any music accompanying our costumes though, in retrospect, I'm thinking it might have drastically improved it though I don't know what we could have possibly done to make it fit…" Shinji pondered as all the 2nd Years went behind the curtain. Well, not _all _of them! Only the ones who are on Team 2nd Years of course!

Mizuki took this opportunity to confront his old team. "What did you think of that?" he said, obviously still in model mode as he threw his hand out and put it on his hip dramatically.

"Frankly, it just made us, as a whole, quite uncomfortable," Inui answered.

"I speculate my team will place above yours, which means you'll have to send someone to the Waitlist Team," said Mizuki.

"If you think we're taking you back then you're sadly mistaken," said Kaidou.

"Yeah!" said Kentarou. "_Sadly _mistaken!"

"Don't act like you're on this team," said Shishido to Kentarou.

"I'm going to the Waitlist Team, aren't I?" Kentarou said sadly.

"Sorry but…" Yuuta started but he didn't know how to follow up. "…Yeah."

Kentarou kicked the dirt sadly but everyone was instructed to be silent as the 2nd Years were ready to present their themed costumes.

"Looking at everyone else's group costumes, I think we kind of did ours wrong," Kamio admitted as all five of them awkwardly stepped out from behind the curtain to reveal they were all wearing the exact same thing; a black cloak, scarf, circular glasses complete with a lightning bold scar.

"You're _all _Harry Potter?" said Ryuuzaki, seemingly disappointed.

"The card said Harry Potter," said Hiyoshi.

"Well we figured it would be obvious that we wanted you guys to be a variety of characters _from _Harry Potter," Ryuuzaki explained.

"Well you should have specified that by writing 'Characters from Harry Potter,'" Hiyoshi pointed out.

The coaches looked like they were mulling it over when Gakuto raised his hand and commented, "Well, our card simply said 'Scooby Doo' but we didn't all dress as Scooby Doo."

"Good point," said the coaches.

Team 2nd Years glared at Gakuto who received some high fives from his teammates.

"All right, we'll take all of it into account," said Ojii. "And we'll move onto our last but not least team."

"In fact, we're the best team," Sengoku said.

"I still don't like my costume," Kirihara complained. "Couldn't we have creatively interpreted it?"

"No," Marui said.

"Why not?" Kirihara said.

"Because we're geniuses," Marui replied.

Everyone rolled their eyes as the geniuses went behind the curtain to change into their costumes.

"And, just so you know, we also took into account personality and appearance in order to decide who was who," Oshitari said as he peeked out. "Except for Kirihara. We bullied him into having the worst costume."

Everyone chuckled but as soon as Oshitari disappeared back behind the curtain, they only glared. They figured maybe Oshitari was making it up to make them look better, but then again, he might not have been. After all, they were geniuses and had probably thought of everything before it had even happened. As a matter of fact, they had probably known what the challenge was before it even happened.

Then, as they waited for Team Genius to present their costumes, everyone suddenly came to the realization that that team was just going to take everything the other teams had already done and simply make it all better.

It seemed to only take them a few seconds to get ready before the curtain slowly opened. Everyone only looked a moment before quickly averted their eyes once they realized Kirihara was in a dress and a wig.

He stood there all lonesome for a moment before he was suddenly joined by Sengoku dressed as a scarecrow. At this point, it must be pretty easy to decipher what group Team Genius received and they were soon accompanied by Oshitari as the Tinman, Marui as the Lion and, surprisingly enough, Fuji as the Wicked Witch. It wasn't quite as disturbing to see Fuji in a dress, somehow.

And, as if their costumes weren't visually professional enough, they all walked forward, turned around and walked back at the same time as if it had been rehearsed several times, but everyone knew better.

The coaches clapped, and as soon as their hands stopped moving, Kirihara dove behind the curtain to put man-clothes back on before the coaches could even critique them.

"Fantastic," said Banji.

"Amazing!" exclaimed Ojii.

"Perfect," Sakaki said.

"Flawless!" Ryuuzaki finished.

Which, of course, frustrated and dejected the rest of the teams. Even the ones who didn't try were sad.

"For that humiliation, all I can say is that we better win!" Kirihara announced.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Fuji shrugged.

"Well, I guess it's time for us to add up these scores and report to you who the winners are," said Sakaki anticlimactically. "And, I can tell you right away that some people will be going to the Waitlist team so get ready!"

All the teams who knew for sure they were sending one looked at each other somewhat sadly or excitedly if they wanted to get rid of a particular person. The coaches wandered off to convene in private where they would not be interrupted by eager tennis players.


	42. We've Personalized Purple Paraphernalia!

Chapter XLII- "We Have Personalized Purple Paraphernalia!"

"Gather round everyone!" called Ryuuzaki. "Gather round!"

"We're already gathered," Tezuka pointed out.

Ryuuzaki looked around and realized Tezuka was telling the truth. "Oh," she said. "Well, in that case, everyone just listen up! We have decided the winners of this challenge! And remember, every team who places below Team Waitlist must send one of their members to the Waitlist Team."

"It's pretty obvious which teams placed below the Waitlist Team," Ryoma remarked.

"That may be so," said Sakaki. "But the order is important to decide the order in which each team gets to choose the player from the Waitlist Team to take back."

"I think even the order is obvious though," Ryoma shrugged.

"Well then just be quiet and listen," Sakaki ordered.

"In first place!" Ojii started. "In the recent challenges, this team has shown exceptional ability with skill, effort and performing in a timely manner! Though they had somewhat of a rough start, Team Genius has once again placed first!"

Sakaki pulled a confetti ball down and showered Team Genius with streamers. No one really cheered because they didn't particularly like Team Genius but they did give the obligatory golf clap and congratulations just so the geniuses wouldn't kill them in their sleep.

"We attribute our recently success almost entirely to Kirihara!" announced Marui.

"Huh?" said Kirihara.

"That's right," Fuji agreed. "If it weren't for Kirihara, I cannot imagine we would even be nearly as successful as we have been."

"Really?" Kirihara said excitedly.

"Absolutely," said Oshitari. "You are our captain after all."

"And you looked killer in that dress," Sengoku added.

Kirihara frowned at Sengoku's comment, but his head was too inflated at that point to take it personally.

"Anyway, now for second place," said Banji. "This team displayed a commitment to the group they were assigned to as well as providing the audience with entertainment as they presented! This team was amazingly prepared, and we greatly respect their work ethic!"

"Team Doubles!" Ryuuzaki said.

"All right!" cheered Team Doubles as they jumped up into the air with glee. They actually started walking towards the coaches as if they expected to take home some kind of prize, but then they realized the only prize they were getting was in the form of a tennis camp…MAYBE.

Team 3rd Years and Team Captains looked somewhat appalled because they were convinced they would take home either first or second place. But they tried to remain good sports and shook hands with Team Doubles.

"We did it everyone!" said Eiji as he put his hand in the middle of the group. One by one, the others joined and then they jumped into the air again. This team really is very airborne.

"And third place," said Sakaki. "This is a team that has consistently placed well in all the challenges, and that is exactly what we're looking for in a team who deserves to go to the tennis camp! I am talking about, of course, Team 3rd Years!"

"Nice job, guys!" said Saeki to his teammates.

"Word," said Jirou, striking a gangster pose.

"In the hood," said Oishi, but everyone told him not to say it because he was Oishi and therefore he just looked ridiculous.

"_I _think you look cool when you act gangster, Oishi," said Eiji supportively.

"Thank you Eiji," said Oishi, wiping a tear from his eye.

Meanwhile, Team Captains had become _quite _appalled by this point because they knew for a fact that they had awesome costumes and they had even thought up names for themselves!

"I bet it's because you're not a captain, Jackal!" said Atobe.

"Don't blame this on me!" said Jackal.

"It's all right, Jackal," said Yukimura. "We still love you."

"Pfft," said the other captains on the team which made Jackal sad.

"And in fourth place," said Ojii. "This is a team that has had its ups and had its downs and has also been disqualified on a certain occasion! Team Captains!"

Team Captains only looked bitter because they wanted to place better than they had.

The coaches were a little put off by Team Captains' lack of enthusiasm so they turned away from them and secretly held something against them that just might carry over into the next round.

"Unfortunately for all the teams remaining, you placed _below _Team Waitlist," said Sakaki. "Because Team Waitlist has placed fifth!"

"Amazing job, team," said Mizuki as he went around and high fived each member of his team but they all felt awkward around him after he had done his catwalk a few minutes earlier.

Then Mizuki turned around dramatically and pointed at Team Hard Working as his cape billowed in the wind.

"And you sought to banish me!" he laughed.

"Shut up, Mizuki!" said Kaidou angrily.

"How did we place below them?" cried Momo. "Our Harry Potter costumes were better than their half assed zombie costumes!"

"Yes, but you showed no creativity," explained Ryuuzaki. "All of you came dressed as Harry Potter when we expected you would each come as a different character."

"Though, you did place sixth, so that means you get first choice of the Waitlist Team," said Banji, trying to sound optimistic.

"Why does it matter?" sighed Hiyoshi. "We're still losing a member of our team."

"We're the _purple team_!" said Kamio. "We all have personalized purple paraphernalia!"

The coaches did feel a little bad for them, but rules were rules.

"Seventh is Team Hard Working," said Sakaki. "Even though you offend us, your extremely lackluster costumes were still better than the other two."

Team Hard Working chose not to comment, though they did glare.

"The Freshmen Team placed eight because, unlike Team Tall, they at least brought something that resembled costumes," said Ojii.

"Oh no!" Horio shouted. "Who are we going to get rid of?"

All the other freshmen looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"And, in last place, Team Tall," said Ryuuzaki. "Sorry Team Tall, but you were basically disqualified."

"Oops," said Team Tall.

"With all that said," said Ojii. "It is now time to Waitlist the hell out of these four teams!"

"Team 2nd Years," said Sakaki. "You get to go first."

Team 2nd Years all looked despairingly at each other as the coaches handed them each a piece of paper to write down the name of the person they wanted to get rid of. Even though it pained them so, they all decided on David even though David didn't know that. Of course, after the coaches revealed the votes, David of course _did _know and was quite sad that he had been banished.

"Now, Team 2nd Years, who will you choose?" Sakaki asked, gesturing toward Team Waitlist, which consisted of Mizuki, Taka, Niou, Yagyuu and Itsuki.

The four remaining members of Team 2nd Years convened.

"None of them are second years, right?" said Hiyoshi disappointedly.

"I think we should pick someone who will make our team, as a whole, much better than it is now since we need to win some challenges," said Shinji. "After all, we have yet to perform exceptionally well in a challenge and, now that I think about it, I don't think we've ever placed in the top three…"

"Well, who helped Team Waitlist along in that challenge?" Momo asked.

Team 2nd Years looked a little pained at who they were going to choose, but they knew it would be the best for their team.

"We choose…" said Hiyoshi and he literally could not believe he was about to say it, but he said, "Mizuki."

"Me?" said Mizuki, pointing to himself. "I am so surprised! I'm not even a 2nd Year!"

"Why would you choose Mizuki?" said Shishido to Team 2nd Years. "You'll regret it later."

"It's for the best!" cried Team 2nd Years.

"I get the feeling we're never going to get off of Team Waitlist," said Yagyuu to Niou.

"It certainly seems that way," said Niou, looking disappointed.

"All right, so Mizuki is now with the 2nd Years, and David is now on Team Waitlist!" said Sakaki. "Team Hard Working! You guys get to choose next."

"We're not going to bother with the anonymous vote, because we want to get rid of Kentarou," said Inui.

"He just doesn't work hard enough," said Yuuta since he felt like he had to give a reason.

Kentarou looked like he was going to burst into tears as he was exiled from yet another team.

"Which one out of the five of you works the hardest?" Kaidou demanded of Team Waitlist as if he were a drill sergeant.

The people on Team Waitlist looked at each other and shrugged. As far as they were concerned, they were all sort of on the lazy side and, to be honest, none of them really wanted to be on the psychotic hard working team.

"Fine!" said Kaidou, looking at his team for help. "Who do we choose?"

"How about…Niou?" suggested Inui.

"That's random," said Yuuta.

"Nothing I do is random," said Inui, sounding a little offended.

"So Niou is now on Team Hardworking while Kentarou is back on Team Waitlist," said Ryuuzaki.

"Nice job Niou, you have graduated to a real team," said Yagyuu, shaking his double's partner's hand. "Enjoy."

"I'll probably be back after the next challenge…" Niou said, rolling his eyes.

"Team Freshmen?" said Banji. "Who will _you _send to the Waitlist Team?"

Team Freshmen at least had the decency to have the anonymous vote and their vote actually came down to a nail biting situation. The Freshman Trio would never vote out one of their own and they would certainly never vote for their hero, Ryoma AKA the Prince of Tennis. So that only left Dan to vote for. Dan and Ryoma both voted for Horio, but unfortunately, three is usually more than two so Dan was left out in the cold.

"That was a bad move," said Ryoma, slapping his forehead.

"Who voted for me?" Horio demanded as if it wasn't obvious.

"Well…bye guys…" said Dan sadly as he waved goodbye to his fellow freshmen.

They didn't feel bad because they were already looking at their choices.

"We should pick Kentarou because he's a freshman too!" said Katsuo.

"But two other teams have already booted him off their teams so that means there's obviously an annoying problem with him," Ryoma pointed out.

"Well, he's a freshman, so therefore he must be on our team!" Horio announced. "Right, everyone?"

"Right!" cheered Katsuo and Kachirou.

Kentarou had mixed feelings because he didn't want to be on the Freshman Team, but he didn't want to be on Team Waitlist even more. So he quickly agreed and ran over to where they were standing, and he suddenly felt extremely tall.

"All right, it's official!" said Ryuuzaki. "Dan is now on the Waitlist Team and Kentarou is on the Freshman Team."

Ryoma slapped his forehead again. I swear he has done that so much that he probably has a hand mark there now.

"And, finally, Team Tall," said Ojii.

"We're uh…gonna all just decide on Akutsu," said Bane.

"Akutsu is our choice," said Renji more clearly.

Akutsu practically growled at the other members of Team Tall as he stomped over to Team Waitlist. He didn't care about not going to the tennis camp, but he did care that he had been used.

"Okay…" said the coaches awkwardly.

"And who will you take onto your team?" asked Ojii.

"We'll take Taka," said Sanada.

"All right," said Ryuuzaki. "So Akutsu is back on Team Waitlist and Taka is… back on Team Tall. Wait a second…" She pointed at Team Tall. "You all lost on purpose so you could get your team back together!"

Team Tall hastily tried to disagree, but then they noticed that all the coaches' eyes were filling up with tears.

"That is so honorable!" wailed Sakaki as he blew his nose loudly into a hanky.

"That team has _my _vote!" announced Banji.

"HEY!" screamed the other teams.

"That's right, Banji, we must reserve judgment!" said Ryuuzaki, hitting Banji on the top of the head. "There are still several more challenges to complete!"

"Yes there are," said Sakaki. "And speaking of such challenges, we have the rules for your next one right here."

With that, Sakaki held up a scroll and waved it in everyone's faces. They waited for him to reveal it, and slowly he began to unroll the paper…


	43. HIYOSHI!

Chapter XLIII- "HIYOSHI!"

"The goal of this challenge is simple," Sakaki read. "You team must think up a team name and—"

"We already have team names," Renji interrupted immediately.

"_New _names," said Ryuuzaki.

"Why?" whined everyone.

"Because the ones you have now are dumb," Ojii answered.

"I happen to like our team name," said Fuji with a shrug as he looked at his teammates, who happened to agree.

"Our team name _was _good because it perfectly described who we are and our state of being, which was nothing to be ashamed of," said Atobe. Then he threw a glare at Jackal. "Of course, I hope the tense I used was noted."

"It was noted," said Inui since he notes _everything_.

"You guys are the one who arbitrarily picked _me_!" Jackal said as he looked as though he would burst into tears at any given moment.

"It's all right, Jackal," said Yukimura supportively.

"No more arguing!" said Banji. "You will all think up new team names whether you like it or not!"

"And how will we be judged on this challenge?" questioned Hiyoshi.

"Depending on how much we like your new name," Ryuuzaki shrugged.

"What's stopping us from naming our team 'Our Coaches Are Awesome'?" Hiyoshi asked. "Or something to that extent?"

"HIYOSHI!" yelled everyone since they had the same idea but they weren't going to say anything because they didn't want anyone else to get the idea.

"That's true…" said Sakaki thoughtfully. "Perhaps we should think up strict guidelines. We wouldn't want every team coming in here trying to suck up to us by all naming themselves the same thing."

"So what are the important things to judge on?" Ryuuzaki questioned. "Creativity of the new name, of course."

"A name that still somewhat applies to the original team concept?" Ojii suggested.

"Right," Ryuuzaki agreed. "And also originality."

"We usually judge three things in the challenges, don't we?" shrugged Banji. "So that should be fine."

"What do you mean by thinking of a name that still applies to the original team concept?" questioned Jirou.

"We mean something like…" said Sakaki thoughtfully. "We don't expect Team Hard Working to coming in called 'The Lazy Lizards' because it has nothing to do with showing how hard working they are!"

"So that means 'The Short People' is out," said Bane, snapping his fingers.

The rest of his team discreetly chuckled at his funny. And you know _those _guys. They were pretty discreet.

The coaches decide to ignore Bane entirely because they thought he was just being stupid. "I guess we'll just be obvious with the scores and grade each on a scale of one to ten," said Sakaki. "Then add up the three scales so make a combined score. Obviously, whoever has the highest number is the winner, and the lowest is the loser."

"And anyone who places below the Waitlist Team must send someone to said team!" Banji added.

"We know all of these guidelines already!" announced Horio. "So therefore we don't have to listen to them again!"

"As much as I don't want to admit it, Horio is right," added Ryoma.

"We're tired of hearing the same rules over and over!" bellowed all the other tennis players.

"Whoa, geez," said Ryuuzaki. "If our constant repetitive explanations offended you so much, you all should have said something earlier instead of waited for Horio to take the initiative and following his lead."

"If you guys got mad, we wanted Horio to take the fall," said Tezuka. And let me tell you this; it looked quite funny for Tezuka to say something so gosh darned silly.

"And I gladly took the fall for my friends and teammates!" declared Horio.

A few people mumbled about being neither Horio's friend nor teammate, but he pretended not to hear them because if he actually did hear them then it would only make him sad.

"How long do we have for this challenge?" Choutarou asked politely.

The coaches looked at him skeptically.

"So when we're trying to explain the rules to everyone, we are instructed to be quiet," said Banji, putting his hands on his hips. "So we agree to stay quiet, you immediately attack us with various questions about the challenge! How do you like that?"

"Hey, don't blame Choutarou for your own mistakes!" Shishido ordered. "Are you okay, Choutarou?"

"Yes," said Choutarou. "I thought they made a valid point."

"Your feelings aren't hurt?" Shishido made sure.

"I think I'll be okay," said Choutarou, trying to be strong.

Banji _did _feel a little bad for hurting Choutarou's feelings since he was probably one of the only ones who had not shouted at the coaches earlier, but not bad enough to actually apologize."

After a little bit of pausing, another more outspoken tennis player demanded to know how long they had for the challenge because it didn't look like the coaches were going to relinquish that information anytime soon.

"You have until tomorrow morning!" said Sakaki. "And if you're late then your team will automatically be named a humiliating acronym that can double as useless internet slang!"

That was enough incentive to make anyone work hard because no one wanted to be on the same level of lameness as the WTF Team which is, in case you have forgotten, the Freshman team.

"There is another twist you will encounter in the morning," said Ryuuzaki. "So be prepared for surprises."

"Why is it a surprise?" demanded Gakuto. "Why couldn't you just tell us what's going to happen?"

"We were _going _to, but because of everyone's out burst at us, we're keeping it a secret!" Ojii said.

"When did you decide to do something like that?" said Oshitari. (Hyoutei has been particularly vocal in this chapter, haven't they? I suppose I could go back and change who says what on account of the fact that most of the stuff in this chapter is mundane questions that could have easily been asked by anyone else. Then again, everyone has a soft spot for Hyoutei somewhere in this cold, dark hearts so I don't think they'll mind if certain characters speak more than others. I mean, even Hiyoshi has gotten his own little shrine of speaking opportunity as well as having the chapter named after him since he was forgotten in the first chapter and no one loves him since he is just Hiyoshi. I think the only character who hasn't said anything who is also on Hyoutei would be…Kabaji.)

"Usu," said Kabaji pointlessly and everyone ignored him. Maybe he just had the hiccups.

"We decided it telepathically!" Ryuuzaki snapped in response to Oshitari's comment.

"Can you tell certain teams who didn't yet at you?" Saeki asked. "Because my team didn't yell at you."

"We're too mature for that," said Yanagisawa, gesturing towards his fellow Third Year teammates.

"Oh really?" said the coaches.

"THEY'RE LYING!" screamed everyone as chaos ensued until they were all calmed down again.

"We are getting too into this," Kamio noticed as they had to put out fires and turn a few cars back over.

"Is a tennis camp really worth all this animosity that's been building up as a result of these competitions?" Yuuta said.

Everyone looked at each other and simultaneously answered yes, then tore off in different directions with their teams in order to think up the most creative team name, while also preparing for any surprise that might…surprise them.


	44. I Am Boss

Chapter XLIV- "I Am Boss."

"Time sure does fly when you're standing around doing absolutely nothing!" Ryuuzaki announced as she and the other coaches didn't move an inch from their spots as they waited for their tennis players to return with ridiculous new names. Quite obviously they don't have lives outside of their pointless competitions so there wasn't any need for them to venture elsewhere.

"Aside from Team Genius, which team do you think will come up with the greatest new team name?" questioned Banji.

"Any team that has a member of Hyoutei on it," said Sakaki quite un-biasedly. JK.

"Say, doesn't every team include a member of Hyoutei?" said Ojii.

"Not Waitlist Team or the Freshman Team," said Sakaki. "Which is good because those are the two most loser teams."

"I'll have you know that most of the people on the Freshman Team are from Seigaku," said Ryuuzaki with a glare.

"I know," said Sakaki smugly.

The other coaches had to hold Ryuuzaki back, which was extremely difficult considering the fragility of said coaches. Thankfully, since all of them are pretty old, they all forgot about various insults by the time all of the athletes showed up so they could once again be unnecessarily cheerful in a majorly out of character fashion.

"Welcome back, teams!" said Ojii. "Your enthusiasm is inspiring."

Of course, the teams looked less than enthusiastic. But you knew that.

"Let's just get on with it," ordered Tezuka impatient.

"And don't forget to reveal the special surprise to us," Sanada said in a slightly threatening fashion.

"How could we possibly forget to reveal the special surprise to you?" said Sakaki, slapping his knee.

"So reveal it," they ordered.

"All right, we will," said the coaches, looking slightly offended.

"Surprise!" Banji shouted, causing all of the tennis players to jump. "We are giving you the opportunity to change your captain if you so desire!"

Everyone gasped, but especially the captains. No, not the team, but the people on the various teams who are captains of their appointed teams.

"Isn't that a wonderful surprise?" said Ojii.

"Do we _have _to change our captains?" questioned Bane, looking somewhat discouraged.

"No," said Ryuuzaki. "But you as captains have no say in the matter. It is fully up to your teams whether or not they want to change."

"So let's go around and see who would like to change, starting with Team Captain since they were originally Team One when we first made the teams back in chapter one and forgot to mention Hiyoshi," Ryuuzaki announced.

"Yeah, that was discouraging to me and several people noticed!" said Hiyoshi, putting his hands on his hips. "Thankfully they all pointed it out or else I might not have been included even though I obviously was later on!"

"Be quiet, Hiyoshi," said Jirou. "Nobody hates you, but nobody likes you either."

"Oh," said Hiyoshi, looking disappointed.

"So we're not revealing our team names right now?" questioned Sengoku.

"Not yet," said Banji. "After the captain switching, if it even occurs."

"It will occur," came a few murmurs from the crowd.

"Anyway; Team Captain?" said Ryuuzaki. "Would you like to change your captain to someone aside from Yukimura?"

The captains all looked at each other and then at Yukimura who was just standing there smiling.

"Well, I can't say that Yukimura really does anything," Tachibana admitted.

"Yukimura is an excellent captain!" said Jackal, putting his hand over his heart. "Why do you think Rikkai Dai is the greatest team ever?"

"Holler," said the entirety of Rikkai Dai.

"You did not just go there," said the trio of captains Jackal was addressing.

"Now, now," said Yukimura, trying to keep the peace. "I don't mind it if you all want to change captains. It's not important to me. So calm down, Jackal."

"But Yukimura!" said Jackal. "You are _clearly _the superior captain!"

"As long as you and I know that, it doesn't matter who they change the captain to," said Yukimura with a shrug.

"Well said, Yukimura!" said Sanada, wiping a tear from his eye.

They were now receiving angry glares from everyone who was not captained by Yukimura. Finally, the trio of captains decided to telepathically make a decision with their various smug or stoic expressions and Tezuka said, "We choose Atobe."

"That's a surprise," Ojii commented.

"He's always the one who provides the money and the stuff," said Tachibana.

"Besides, we had a discussion the other day about who we would have chosen to be the captain of the team if Yukimura had not won the original competition of inspiring people," Atobe added.

"Well that's fantastic for you," said Sakaki. "So Atobe is now the captain of Team Captains. Let's move on to the team originally addressed as Team Two, which would be Team Doubles."

"I just want to say that we toiled over many a team name," said Atsushi.

"We had a lot of good suggestions," Gakuto translated.

"That's all well and good, but we're talking about if you want to switch captains," said Sakaki.

"_What_?" demanded all of Team Doubles.

"Were any of you listening when we _just _explained what we were doing?" demanded Ojii.

"I guess not," said Choutarou, looking slightly confused, glancing over at his equally confused teammates.

"Would you like to switch captains?" Banji asked.

"You mean out of the people who are on the team already?" Tetsu clarified, and the coaches nodded. Tetsu looked back at his teammates and said, "I don't think I have any right to vote in this since I just recently joined the team."

"Nonsense, Tetsu!" said Eiji. "You're one of us now!" (This, of course, stung for Itsuki but no one noticed enough to care.)

"Well, I think we should change the captain to me!" Gakuto announced. "Right, Ootori?"

"I don't know," said Choutarou thoughtfully. "Even though I should have blind devotion to you since we're on the same tennis team, I can't help but think it would be best for this team if we just kept Eiji as the captain, as to avoid animosity and controversy."

"What does it matter, anyway?" said Eiji. "I consider _all _of us captains on this team!"

"Daw," said everyone else on the team as they hugged.

"I'm taking that team hug as a no, you don't want to change captains?" said Ojii.

"Exactly!" said the entire team, giving the coaches a thumbs up.

"Right…" said Ryuuzaki. "Then Eiji is still the captain of Team Doubles. Let's hurry this along a bit. What are you thinking, Team Hard Working?"

"I'm going to relinquish captainship to Inui," said Kaidou, looking as though it was the most difficult decision he has ever made. "It seems as though that's the way it should have been from the very beginning. He possesses more leadership qualities than I do."

Inui supportively put a hand on Kaidou's shoulder.

"Well that's great and everything…" said Ojii. "But it has to be a decision made by your team and not by you."

"That's dumb," said Kaidou with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you think, team?" said Inui, addressing the rest of his team. "Will you shift captainship to me?"

"Whatever," said Yuuta and Niou with a shrug.

"I think _I _should be captain," said Shishido.

Everyone burst out laughing in his face except for Inui who just stood there stone faced.

"Whatever," Shishido revised his statement, embarrassed.

"All right so Inui is the captain of Team Hard Working now," said Sakaki, still trying to keep himself from laughing. "What will you do, Team Tall?"

"We're going to keep me as the captain!" said Bane.

Once again, everyone burst out into hysterical laughter, except for Renji this time. Even Kabaji laughed! But his laugh sounded like this: "Usu! Usu! Usu!" Yeah, pretty dumb, eh?

"So…no then?" Bane asked when everyone calmed down.

"No, Bane," said Renji. "It is clear who the captain of our team should be."

"That's right," said Sanada as he put his hands on his hips and a flag waved behind him and wind blew in his direction. I swear, he could have had a cape.

Renji only stared at Sanada until Sanada realized he was being stared at.

"Me, right?" said Sanada.

"No, Sanada," said Renji. "Me."

"You're out of line," said Sanada as he looked like he was going to have to smack a bitch, and so Renji backed off.

"Very well," he said.

"That's what I thought," said Sanada, crossing his arms.

"It's okay with me," said Taka since he didn't want to be smacked either. And, even though Kabaji probably wouldn't have been able to feel a smack because he's just that dumb, he agreed as well.

"The change has been noted!" announced Ryuuzaki. "Sanada is now the captain of Team Tall.

"I think you would have made an excellent captain, Renji," said Inui.

"Thank you, Sadaharu," said Renji.

"Go ahead, Team Freshman!" said Ojii. "You guys are next."

"Even though Ryoma is the Prince of Tennis, he is selfish and doesn't exhibit leadership qualities!" announced Horio as he stood up on a soapbox. "So therefore our team has unanimously decided that I should be the new captain!"

The other members of the team coughed a little.

"Didn't we?" said Horio.

"That we did not!" said Kentarou as he whipped out his own soapbox and, when he stood on it, he was taller than Horio. In fact, when he _wasn't _standing on it, he was still taller than Horio. "Hear me, Freshmen! Our friend Horio was right when he said Ryoma is a fantastic tennis player but does not have the right qualities to be a captain!" Horio then pointed dramatically towards the sky and the two other freshmen followed his finger with sparkles in their eyes. "Look towards the horizon, look towards change, look towards experience! Vote Kentarou!"

"YAY!" cheered Katsuo and Kachirou.

"I am boss," said Ryoma.

"True, but you're not _the _boss," said Kentarou. "At least not anymore."

"Is it official?" said Ryoma.

"Oh yes," said Katsuo and Kachirou as they surrounded Kentarou like groupies. Kentarou's teeth went PING!

"But guys!" said Horio longingly.

"Sorry Horio…" said the other two freshmen, looking slightly ashamed.

"All right, Kentarou wins by majority," said Sakaki. "Congratulations, you're the new captain of Team WTF."

"My first act of captain will be to change that horrible acronym!" Kentarou announced.

"That's nothing special because we were doing it anyway," Ryoma pointed out.

"But I'll do it with _style_!" said Kentarou, and if it was in Japanese, he would have said 'style' in English.

"With that said, Team 2nd Years has the floor," said Banji.

"I think we're going to regret this decision for the rest of our lives, but we're going to switch captains," said Kamio, putting a hand over his face.

"Is it because no one hates me but no one loves me?" said Hiyoshi.

"Basically," said Momo. "And, like most of the others, you don't exhibit leadership qualities."

"But I'm gonna be captain of Hyoutei next year!" said Hiyoshi.

"Don't go spreading that rumor," Atobe warned. "Or I might just be inclined to make Ootori captain."

"Yay!" cheered Choutarou.

"But if I don't exhibit leadership qualities, who on this team does?" said Hiyoshi, putting his hands on his hips.

Momo, Shinji and Kamio all turned and pointed at Mizuki who was standing there with a light shining behind him.

"Oh no," said Hiyoshi. "_Him_? He's not even a second year!"

"But I will lead this team of mediocrity to victory!" said Mizuki heroically.

"And we've all agreed," said Kamio regrettably.

"I can't believe this is happening," said Hiyoshi.

"Neither can we," said Shinji simply. There didn't need to be anymore words.

"Team 2nd Years have made a surprising decision," said Ojii. "So now Mizuki is the captain. Will Team 3rd Year do the same thing?"

"Make Mizuki our captain?" said Jirou, raising an eyebrow. "Certainly not!"

"No, he means changing our captain," said Yanagisawa.

"Absolutely not!" said Jirou. "Saeki is the best captain ever!"

"Really?" said Saeki.

"Really," said Atobe crossly.

"I mean…well, the best captain out of the five of us?" said Jirou nervously.

"That's better," said Atobe.

"I don't have any problem with you being captain, Saeki," said Oishi.

"And I don't have any problem with me being captain either, Oishi," Saeki replied.

"You're a fair and just captain," Ryou added.

"Why, thank you, Ryou," said Saeki.

"No problem," said Ryou, looking proud of himself for making someone's day.

"Well, that was all quite friendly," Ryuuzaki commented.

"We're a friendly sort of team," said Jirou, putting his arms around everyone. "Because we're mature."

"You know, everyone on _our _team is a third year too," Tachibana commented. "_And _we're captains, except Jackal. So you can't say that."

"But you guys don't like each other," said Yanagisawa. "We like each other."

"In a strictly friendship sort of way," Ryou added.

"We don't care about your ambiguously gay team!" Ojii announced. "There are just two more teams to go and this has already dragged on too long! Team Genius, are you going to change your captain?"

"Certainly not!" Fuji exclaimed as if such a thought was blasphemy.

"Why would we do something like that?" Oshitari added while Sengoku and Marui nodded in agreement.

"Are you guys being serious?" Kirihara said, amazed.

"Of course we are," said Fuji. "We said in the previous competition that you are the reason for our success, and if we changed captains now then we might lose that success."

"Besides, though we're all geniuses, we don't want to be captains," Sengoku said.

"Why?" Kirihara asked.

"Because then we have to be responsible all the time," Marui said.

"Oh," said Kirihara. "So am I not a good genius because I aspire for something more?"

"You're just a late bloomer," said Oshitari, patting Kirihara on the head.

"It's settled then," said Ryuuzaki. "Kirihara will remain the captain of Team Genius. Last and not least, we have the Waitlist Team."

"We actually are the least team," said Yagyuu. "On account of the fact that being on this team is a punishment."

"True," said Ryuuzaki thoughtfully. "Then the last and least team. Though it doesn't really matter all that much, would you like to change your captain from Akutsu?"

"What's the point?" questioned Itsuki.

"What do you mean, what's the point?" demanded Sakaki. "The point is that you have to decide if you want to change your captain or not!"

"She just said it didn't really matter," David pointed out.

"_That _doesn't matter!" said Banji, glaring at Ryuuzaki. "Just make a decision so we can get onto bigger and better things like the next competition!"

"I'll be staying the captain," said Akutsu threateningly as he turned around and puffed smoke at his fellow team of losers. "_If that's all right with all of you."_

They all backed off and quickly agreed with him.

"Excellent!" said Ojii with a clap. "I'm so glad we have made each team a little happier!"

"Thus negating the pointless competition we went through to decide who the captains were at the way beginning," said Hiyoshi bitterly.

"Oh be quiet, Hiyoshi," said everyone.

"With Hiyoshi hushed, we can finally move on and learn all of your fantastic new team names!" Ryuuzaki said. "And let me tell you this: we had better be impressed."


	45. Am I Going to Have to Start Punching You

Chapter XLV- "Am I Going to Have to Start Punching You?"

"Before we begin to hear the new team names," Sakaki started. "We must sadly report to you that there is only one more challenge following this one."

"FOR REALZ?" everyone shouted, being sure to specify that they were using a 'z.' Except for Oishi. He used a 's.'

"Yes, for realz," sighed Sakaki.

No one said anything.

"Why is it okay for Sakaki to speak gangster, but not for me?" Oishi said.

"Because you're Oishi," everyone replied.

"What will be the final competition?" asked Shishido since he was clearly unconcerned with Oishi's inability to speak gangster. Or, rather, everyone else's inability to allow Oishi to speak gangster.

"If we told you now then it would be unfair," said Ryuuzaki.

"This made changing the team captains around somewhat pointless, didn't it?" Inui inferred.

"No, there is a significant point," Ojii replied.

"I see," said Inui, making a note in his data book.

"Then thinking up these team names also has a hidden meaning having something to do with the final challenge?" Tezuka inferred.

"Perhaps," said Ryuuzaki. "We're not at liberty to say."

A few people had guesses, but they either didn't want to look stupid in front of everything when they were refuted or they didn't want to get their hopes up.

"What does this mean for the Waitlist Team?" questioned Itsuki.

"Sadly, Team Waitlist will not be participating in the final challenge," said Ojii regrettably. "There will only be one more opportunity for the people on the Waitlist Team to switch off of the team and onto one of the teams that can compete."

The people on Team Waitlist all crossed their fingers, except for Akutsu who didn't really care because he was only there to take the tennis camp opportunity away from someone else, which is _wrong!_

"But that final challenge is a day away!" said Banji with a chuckle. "Let us focus on the here and now! We simply must hear these fantastic new team names you have thought up!"

"I must say I am very excited," commented Ryuuzaki. "This whole challenge was my idea."

"You wish," said the other coaches.

"Let's just go in the same order as we did before!" Ryuuzaki said cheerfully. "Starting, of course, with Team Captain who will soon be known as something else!"

"How about the new team captain presents that new team name?" said Sakaki.

"Good idea," said Ojii.

"And be sure to thoroughly explain your new team name as well," Banji added. "That will add to the fun of it all."

"Ahem," said Atobe as he thoroughly enjoyed having the most authority and made sure everyone knew how much he enjoyed it. "We, the Captains, have chosen a name that, I must admit, I am unfit to explain."

"How so?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Because it was Tezuka's idea and he insisted on nothing else," said Atobe, gesturing toward Tezuka.

Tezuka stood there looking completely stoic, and then he crossed his arms. "Pillars."

"The Pillars?"

"No. Just Pillars."

Tezuka was getting pretty peeved about having to explain that.

"I'm glad we finally get an explanation as to why you're obsessed with that," said Banji.

"Because, as captains except for Jackal, we are the pillars of our respected teams," Tezuka announced.

No one said anything until Ryoma finally spoke up with, "What does that even mean?"

"You know," said Tezuka with a cold glare.

"The way he explains it makes sense," Tachibana shrugged. "Though I don't know what's wrong with being The Pillars."

"No, not The Pillars," said Tezuka. "Just Pillars."

"We get it," said everyone.

"Obviously not because I have to keep explaining it," said Tezuka. Even though he was annoyed, no one could tell. They just thought he was farting.

"Well, all right then," said Sakaki. "I guess it goes along with all of the guidelines we enforced. How about you, Team Doubles?"

"I just want to say that we toiled over many a team name," said Atsushi.

"We had a lot of good suggestions," Gakuto translated.

"Okay…" said the coaches.

"We rehearsed that part," Tetsu admitted.

"We could tell," Ojii answered.

"In the end, we decided to name our team after one of our favorite doubles' techniques!" Eiji declared, undeterred by sarcastic remarks. "Switch Trick Play!"

"Hey, not only is that catchy and following the theme of being related to doubles, but it also sounds like a great band name!" said Banji.

"What, and Pillars doesn't?" said Atobe.

"Switch Trick Play sounds like a sexual position!" came a voice from the sea of tennis players.

"Who said that?" Gakuto demanded, but no one confessed.

"We also think it reflects our team," said Choutarou. "Because we weren't doing so well at the beginning and then we had a great turnaround."

"That you did," said the coaches, clapping politely.

"Excellent," said Sakaki. "Switch Trick Play and Pillars are both very creative and unique names. Will you follow the trend, Team Hard Working?"

"Most definitely," said Inui. "We based our new team name on the hardest working individual on the planet."

"Oh?" said Sakaki.

"Yes," said Inui. "It was fairly unanimous. We have decided to call ourselves Entrepreneur."

Each of the coaches made an initial unimpressed expression, but slowly they all changed and started nodding.

"The more I think about it, the more I agree!" said Ryuuzaki.

"I love the name!" said Banji. "I think it's wonderfully creative!"

"I could certainly tell you _worked hard _on that name!" said Ojii with a wink.

"I would say we've heard that one before, but we haven't," said Shishido. "But I wish you hadn't said it just then."

"Well excuse me," said Ojii, looking offended.

"So far we think you are all doing very well," said Sakaki, turning to Team Tall. "Team Tall, the other teams have set a very high bar."

"But that shouldn't be a problem for you because you're so tall!" laughed Ojii.

"Am I going to have to start punching you?" Bane threatened.

"No…" said Ojii nervously.

"Anyway, Team Tall, you may tell us your team name now," said Sakaki.

"There are several parts of our team name," said Renji.

"I believe it is the job of the captain to introduce the team name," said Sanada, clearing his throat.

"Very well, you introduce it and I will explain it," Renji said.

"Why should you explain it?" Sanada said. "I am captain."

"Because you will explain it wrong," Renji replied.

Sanada frowned, but he wasn't about to argue with Renji so he turned to the coaches and said, "We have decided to call ourselves Beanstalk Rhapsody."

A silence swept over the entire group. "I can't wait to hear the explanation for this one," Ryuuzaki said finally.

"On the surface, our name applies to our team," Renji began. "Beanstalks are notoriously tall plants, and a rhapsody implies something of good fun and loyalty. However, there is also a deeper meaning to our name as well. At the top of Jack's beanstalk, there is a world of giants and, as you have previously mentioned on several occasions, we are all quite tall. In addition, a secondary meaning of rhapsody is the start of an epic poem, which is also very long, or tall, and usually narrates the lives of great heroes accomplishing great tasks. Our name basically means we are tall people who can accomplish great things."

Again, there was a silence.

"Did you think of that name, Renji?" Inui asked.

"No, Sadaharu," said Renji. "As a matter of fact, Kabaji did."

"Usu," said Kabaji.

"Well, I just don't even know what to think about that," Banji admitted. "But I know this much: I am impressed."

"And I don't think Team WTF can top it," said Ojii. "Not with all the various team names they have attempted to present us with throughout this entire competition."

"Not at all, coach!" said Kentarou proudly. "Even though this is my first competition with this team, I'll have you know we have collectively thought up the most superior acronym than we have ever produced!"

"Another acronym?" the other teams groaned.

"I said it was superior!" Kentarou argued.

"And what is it?" said Sakaki, looking exasperated.

"It is FRESHMAN," said Kentarou. "Ready to explain, team?"

"Freshmen Rock Ever So Hella Much All Night!" the others chimed, except for Ryoma who only stood there like: "This is retarded."

"Hey, I actually like it," said Banji. "It's edgy, and it is most definitely the best one they have ever come up with!"

"Yes, even though acronyms are normally quite lame, we've decided we like this one!" Ryuuzaki said.

"All right!" cheered the freshman.

"Well, I know we say this often, but can this team rise to the occasion?" said Sakaki. "Team Second Years?"

"You're damn straight we can!" said Momo enthusiastically.

"Now, now," said Mizuki. "Remember who you have elected your captain."

"Oh right," said Momo, bowing his head in shame.

Mizuki took a step forward. "This team name was of _my _suggestion," said Mizuki. "Please try to keep up with the reference."

"Just tell us what it is," said Ojii, looking annoyed.

"We are calling ourselves The Jan Brady Syndrome," said Mizuki.

"Jan Brady?" questioned Kaidou since he just wanted to refute everything Mizuki said.

"Yes, the middle child on the Brady Bunch," said Mizuki. "She always resented her older and younger sisters for getting more attention than her, even though she was the best daughter of the three."

"Ooooo," said the coaches, impressed.

"How can _that _impress you?" said other members of Team Hard Working AKA Entrepreneur. Again, they didn't want Mizuki to thrive.

"It's creative and amusing," said Sakaki. "Do you want to take a whack at it, Team 3rd Years?"

"Well, following up with our gangster theme," said Saeki.

Team 3rd Years all got together and formed a similar pose to the last one they had during the previous challenge.

"Respect Your Elders," Saeki said as he did a double pat on the chest and then made a gang symbol with his fingers. The others copied his motion (which made everyone chuckle at Oishi). Their sign was basically just holding out three fingers...each finger symbolized a year they had been in middle school. Oh yeah.

"Respect Your Elders?" repeated Atsushi, looking directly at Ryou. "How is that gangster?"

"Because we did the gangster chest pat," said Ryou as he repeated his action.

"Whatever," said Atsushi, rolling his eyes.

"Interesting, but also very creative and entertaining!" announced Ryuuzaki. "And I must say we thoroughly enjoyed your presentation as well!"

"Suck ups," murmured someone. Maybe it was the same person who accused Team Doubles' new name of sounding like a sexual position. Maybe it was someone different. Maybe it was the still bitter Hiyoshi. No one will ever know.

"Two more to go," said Ojii, gesturing for Team Genius to reveal their name.

"Well," said Fuji before Kirihara could say it. "You all had quite the speeches about how long it took you to come up with your new team names. I'll have you know that it didn't take us very much time at all."

"We knew right away what our team name was going to be," Marui said.

"That's what comes along with being geniuses," Sengoku added.

"On account of the fact that we here are all of _your _weaknesses, we have decided to call ourselves…" said Oshitari, and then they all looked at Kirihara.

Kirihara sighed somewhat and then said, "Achilles' Heel."

"By which all of you are Achilles, and we are your heel, therefore we are your weakness," Oshitari re-clarified.

"We get it," said Banji. "And we _love _it!"

"That we do!" cheered the other coaches.

"It's pretty bold to name yourselves after a weakness," Tezuka commented to Fuji.

"Well, we are quite bold," Fuji shrugged.

"And finally," said Sakaki. "Last and least, we have Team Waitlist."

"We were inspired by our zombie costumes in the previous competition much like Team 3rd Years were inspired by their gangster costumes," said Dan. Then he paused. "Even though I wasn't on the team back then. But that's irrelevant!"

"_I'm _the captain!" said Akutsu. But you know he loved Dan and secretly wanted to pat him on the head. But he didn't because he didn't want people to disrespect him.

"I'm so sorry!" said Dan hesitantly.

And you know Akutsu hardly held back the pat on the head.

"Yeah," said Akutsu, clearing his throat. "You better be!"

"And what is the team name?" led Ryuuzaki.

"I don't care!" said Akutsu, crossing his arms childishly since now he felt embarrassed even though no head patting took place. "Someone else say it!"

"Um…we named ourselves Resurrection," said Yagyuu. "Because it is our goal to be so."

"And what a good goal that is!" said Sakaki.

"Well, we must say that we are very, very impressed with everyone's team names!" said Ojii. "I think this will be the most difficult challenge to judge by far!"

"I agree," said Banji. "So let us start to discuss it now so we are sure to award the winners accordingly!"

The anticipation was much more intense because they knew this would be the last Waitlist of the enormous competition and no one wanted to end up there. And so the coaches gathered, and the teams were once again forced to wait to find out who had won.


	46. I Feel Famous By Association

Chapter XLVI- "I Feel Famous By Association."

"Surprise!" shouted Ryuuzaki as she spun around and showered confetti down upon all the tennis players. "You _all _win!"

They all gasped and hugged each other as the confetti dazzled them.

"Wait, wait," said Sakaki. "No, you're not all going to the tennis camp."

"What?" demanded Mizuki, putting his hands on his hips. "Then what were you referring to?"

"You all win the name challenge," Sakaki explained.

"WHAT?" exclaimed everyone.

"We cannot choose a winner," laughed Ojii. "All of the names were just _so _fantastic!"

"But what does that mean for the Waitlist Team?" whined David.

"Yeah, now none of us have a chance to compete in the final challenge and go to the tennis camp," said Yagyuu.

"Oh don't worry, Waitlist Team," said Banji. "To make it fair, we're just going to give everyone on the Waitlist Team a chance to switch with anyone they like!"

There was silence for a bit.

"HOW IS THAT FAIR?" screamed everyone who wasn't on the Waitlist Team.

"HURRAY!" cheered the Waitlist Team as they jumped up into the air and threw more confetti.

"How are we supposed to make a decision like that?" said Dan. "With just one word, we're automatically taking away someone's chance to go to the tennis camp! Most people have never been on the Waitlist Team at all! So is it right to take that opportunity away from them on a whim from our coaches?"

"Yes," said Yagyuu.

"This is dumb," Akutsu announced. "I have gone along with this dumb thing for long enough. I don't feel like competing in anymore competitions and it's wasting my time! Besides, I don't want to have to end up on the team that wins because I don't want to go to a stupid tennis camp anyway!"

"What exactly are you trying to say, Akutsu?" questioned Taka.

"I'm leaving," Akutsu said as he turned around and stomped away as if he had been wronged in so many ways.

"Akutsu, wait for me!" Dan shouted as he blindly tore after Akutsu without addressing anyone else.

Everyone looked at each other confusedly.

"All right," they said.

"Well, look on the bright side!" said Ryuuzaki. "That's two less people who will have the chance to trade places with someone to take them out of the challenge!"

"_And _Akutsu's gone," Ryoma added.

"So," said Banji. "Yagyuu, Itsuki and David, you all can choose anyone from any team to trade places with for the final challenge."

"Could we know what the final challenge is so we can base our decision of where we want to go on that?" Itsuki asked.

"No," said the coaches.

"Well, I don't want to end up choosing to be on the Hard Working team if the challenge ends up being something about people skills," said Yagyuu, sounding almost frantic.

"Well, you should choose the Hard Working team anyway so we can be on the same team!" announced Niou.

"Not me not me not me not me not me," said Kentarou, crossing his fingers.

"I think we should choose people who we feel don't deserve to go to the tennis camp," said Yagyuu to the two others.

"Is there such a person?" wondered Itsuki.

"Or, perhaps, someone we have personal grudges against," Yagyuu added. "People who have beaten us in various tennis matches over our years."

"You guys are thinking about this too much," said Ojii. "It's pretty simple. Just pick someone."

The three made a circle and started to make a list of people they didn't like or didn't think deserved to go to the camp. They also made sure to factor in how afraid they were of that person and whether or not that particular person might kill them in their sleep if they denied him the right of the entering the tennis camp.

"We have made our decisions," said Yagyuu finally as he adjusted his glasses.

"And who will you all be taking the place of?" said Sakaki, making a grand gesture in the direction of the sea of tennis players.

"We don't really know their names," David admitted. "But we hear they call themselves the 'Freshman Trio.'" And, yes, he did the quotey things with his fingers.

"WHAT?" gasped the Freshman Trio.

Everyone else let out a sigh of relief and then applauded what was left of the Waitlist Team for their ability to recognize the people everyone hated the most.

"With that said," said Banji. "Horio, Katsuo and Kachirou are eliminated from the entirety of the competition, and Yagyuu, David and Itsuki join the Freshman Team."

"I like how our team name is hardly applicable anymore," Kentarou observed.

Ryoma wasn't going to admit it, but he was thrilled. Even though his team was now a hodgepodge of people, at least he didn't have to listen to the freshman all the time now.

"It's all right, guys!" said Horio once he regained his strength after fainting. "We can still watch the final competition and cheer on Ryoma because he is the Prince of Tennis!"

"YEAH!" exclaimed Kachirou and Katsuo.

"I feel famous by association," said Momo.

"That sounds like a country song," Hiyoshi remarked.

"Do you all want to hear what the final competition is now?" asked Ryuuzaki.

"DUH," said everyone.

"Just keep in mind," Sakaki added. "That just because your team wins this challenge doesn't mean that you automatically get to go to the tennis camp. We're going to consider all the performances in the challenge up to this point in order to make our final decision."

"What's the competition?" said everyone.

"Did you even listen to what I said?" said Sakaki.

"We just want to hear what the competition is so we can prepare," said Atobe, sounding annoyed.

"Very well," said Sakaki with a sigh as he looked at Banji.

"We have devised…" Banji said as he took out a scroll and then quickly unrolled it to reveal there was a simple diagram on it. "A TENNIS TOURNAMENT!"

All the tennis players slapped their cheeks and fainted. Yes, every single one of them fainted. It was like a big mass swoon.

The coaches had anticipated this reaction and therefore they had brought smelling salts with them. Once the tennis players were all revived, the rules were explained.

"We'll pick the teams at random," said Ryuuzaki as she took a pointed and gestured towards all the spots in the tournament. "And then the tournament will commence from there."

"Question," said Gakuto, raising his hand. "Will this tennis be reminiscent of the made up tennis rules we had to abide by when you forced us to do that teamwork building experiment?"

"Slightly different," said Ryuuzaki.

"So it's not _real _tennis?" complained Bane.

"Not entirely," said Ryuuzaki.

"Each team will have to choose two doubles matches and one singles match," said Ojii. "So that way we won't have to do tiebreakers."

"I liked the tiebreakers," said Fuji, looking disappointed.

"When does this tournament start?" asked Atsushi excitedly. (Yes, Atsushi asked it. Come on, everyone needs a chance to talk! Not just Hyoutei!)

"Um…right now?" said Sakaki as he pulled a rope and the ground opened up to reveal a high tech hidden tennis court that had been RIGHT UNDER GROUND. WOW.

"YAY!" cheered everyone because they had heard of this mysterious tennis court in their lives but had never actually discovered the location. They were all sworn to secrecy and signed their promise in blood.

"It is the duty of the captain to assign who will be playing where," said Sakaki. "You all mingle and figure out who will be playing doubles matches and who will be playing the singles match as we randomly select your teams out of a hat to determine the order in which you will be playing against each other to make it fair. Okay?"

"OKAY!" said everyone, including Sakaki.

All the teams turned to each other and created exclusive huddles.

"You all have five minutes to make your decision!" announced Ojii as he held up a stopwatch. "Ready? Go!"


	47. Funny How That Worked Out

Chapter XLVII- "Funny How That Worked Out."

With Team Captain AKA Pillars…

"As captain of this team, I will choose the most compatible players to play doubles, leaving the remaining person to play singles," Atobe announced. "Yukimura and Jackal, since you two are both on the same team, you will play as a team in the first doubles match."

"That sounds fair enough," said Jackal, looking at Yukimura. Yukimura nodded but you could tell he was resentful and regretted giving his captainship up to Atobe, since he obviously wanted to play singles.

"Therefore, Tachibana and Tezuka will be playing the second doubles match…" Atobe continued.

"That works," said Tezuka.

"Yeah," Tachibana agreed.

"What?" said Atobe. "No argument?"

"No," said Tachibana. "Because if we win the first match then we won't have to play the singles match, and I definitely want to play."

"Same here," said Tezuka.

Atobe looked at the two suspiciously. "Therefore!" he said. "I will be in the second doubles match, and the two of you can fight over the other spot!"

Tachibana and Tezuka frowned and then played rock paper scissors with each other to determine who would play singles.

With Team Doubles AKA Switch Trick Play…

"What a tragedy because all of us play doubles," said Choutarou.

"One person has to make a sacrifice and play singles," said Atsushi.

"It's not that big of a deal," said Tetsu with a shrug. "I'll play singles if none of you want to play."

"Really?" said the others as their eyes lit up and they hugged Tetsu because he was just like a big teddy bear!

"All right," said Eiji. "I think Ootori and Gakuto should play in the first doubles match because you guys are on the same team and you know each other's playing style."

"Good idea," said Gakuto. "So you play doubles with Atsushi in the second doubles match."

"Yeah!" said Eiji.

"Awwwwwwll right!" cheered Team Doubles as they jumped up into the air and high fived. Except Atsushi was kind of left out of the high five. Why, you ask? Well, Choutarou and Tetsu are significantly taller than the others so they already had much more height than them. Eiji and Gakuto are both experts when it comes to jumping so they were able to reach the other two's ridiculous height, thus leaving Atsushi behind. When Atsushi mentioned how sad he was about missing out on the Power Ranger high five, they all did a low five just for him because that's how much they love each other.

With Team Hard Working AKA Entrepreneur…

They were all standing around silently waiting for Inui finish scribbling on his data book, attempting to match people up in the best way for the best combinations.

Little did they know, he had finished a very long time and was actually playing Sudoku. WTF!

Finally, Shishido cleared his throat. "So?" he said. "You're the captain. You have to pick where we're playing."

"This is true," said Inui, putting his Sudoku away. "The first doubles team will consist of Kaidou and me. This makes the most sense because the two of us play doubles with each other on our own team quite frequently."

"All right," said Kaidou, looking determined.

"The second doubles team will be composed of Niou and Shishido," said Inui.

"Why?" said Yuuta, mostly asking why he wasn't involved.

Inui pretty much wanted to smack a bitch for questioning him, but he instead calmly explained his reasoning instead of so quickly resorting to violence. "Because their doubles records are considerably more impressive than yours and I expect they will do well."

"Fair enough," said Yuuta.

"Don't mess this up," Shishido warned Niou.

"Whoa," said Niou, backing away.

With Team Tall AKA Beanstalk Rhapsody…

"Hm…" said Sanada. "I will play singles. You two will play the first doubles match." He pointed vaguely at Taka and Kabaji. Then he turned to Renji and Bane. "And you two will play the second doubles match."

"What is your reasoning behind these seemingly random assignments?" Renji questioned.

"They're not random!" said Sanada. "I thought about these for a considerable amount of time!"

Renji rolled his eyes. Well, no. He didn't. CAUSE THEY'RE CLOSED. But let's just assumed he _would _have.

"You just set it up so you could play singles!" said Bane. "Even though I don't really care because I play doubles anyway so whatever."

"Yes, I don't mind playing doubles either, but I think there is a better way of assigning who plays where," said Renji.

"And what would you suggest?" said Sanada accusingly.

"Taka and Kabaji are both power players so putting them on the same doubles team would be unbalanced," said Renji. "I think the ideal arrangement would put Bane and me in the first doubles match, you and Taka in the second one and then Kabaji playing singles."

Sanada frowned. He pretty much just wanted to tell Renji to shove it, but instead he said, "I think I'm going to stick with my formation."

"Very well," said Renji has he fake rolled his eyes again.

"Oh well," Taka chimed with a shrug.

With Team WTF AKA FRESHMAN…

"So uh…hi new teammates," said Ryoma.

"Hi," said the three new teammates.

"I like how Ryoma is the only one here who was on the original freshman team," Kentarou noted.

"Yeah," said Ryoma. "Funny how that worked out."

"Anyway!" said Kentarou. "As captain of this team, I have already devised the line up. It's especially easy for me because most of you guys are on Rokkaku so I have a pretty accurate knowledge of your playing styles. Ryoma, you will play in the singles match because there's no denying you're the Prince of Tennis."

"That's true," said Ryoma with a nod.

"Itsuki, I think you and me play doubles really well together!" said Kentarou. "Which leaves David and Yagyuu to play in the second match, which works out because you two play doubles often, don't you? You two should chat so you can get to know each other's playing style."

They all stared at him. Then they all endearingly pat him on the head for being so excited and enthusiastic _for _them.

With Team 2nd Years AKA Jan Brady Syndrome…

"I don't think you really even need me to tell you the line up," chuckled Mizuki. "It's pretty obvious to me, and therefore it should be obvious to you as well!"

"Well, Shinji and I will be one team," Kamio evaluated.

"Very good," said Mizuki, and then he looked at Hiyoshi and Momo.

"And…we'll be the second team?" Hiyoshi guessed.

"Excellent!" Mizuki said. "Which leaves me to play in the singles position! I'm so proud of my little second years."

"We're not little," said Momo.

"You're younger," said Mizuki.

"You're seriously like six months older than me," said Hiyoshi.

"I know," said Mizuki. "Isn't it wonderful?"

The second years gave heavy sighs and sort of regretted their choice to not only bring Mizuki onto the team but then to make him captain. I guess that would be TWO choices, now wouldn't it?

With Team 3rd Years AKA Respect Your Elders…

"There seems to be a prevalent amount of doubles players on our team," said Saeki.

"I don't play doubles," said Jirou. "I could, though, if you need me to."

"I just said there were a lot of us," said Saeki. "So I don't need you to."

"Fine, whatever," said Jirou with a shrug.

"Well, how about this?" said Saeki. "Ryou and I will be in the first match, and then Oishi and Yanagisawa will be in the second? Then, Jirou, you can play singles."

"I'm assuming you're making this decision because you and Ryou play on the same team and then the two of us are just leftovers?" Oishi asked.

"Yes," said Saeki. "That's all right, isn't it?"

"It works for me," said Yanagisawa.

Then they all stared at each other.

"PS I think we are so going to win the tennis camp trip," said Jirou.

"Oh yeah," said the rest of them with confident nods.

With Team Genius AKA Achilles' Heel…

"We are all quite versatile," said Sengoku.

"I don't care where I play," Marui admitted.

"How about the two of us play together?" Kirihara suggested. "We're both on Rikkai Dai so I bet we'll do better together."

"Okay," said Marui.

"Hm…" said Fuji. "Oshitari, what do you say to a friendly competition?"

"What do you mean?" said Oshitari.

"Shall we play doubles together?" Fuji said.

"Wouldn't that mean we work in cooperation together as opposed to competing with each other?" Oshitari said.

"You would think," said Fuji. "That's theoretically how it's supposed to work. But we're geniuses. We don't have to play by the rules."

"That's true," said Oshitari. "All right, I accept your challenge."

"Excellent," said Fuji. Then he looked at Sengoku. "So you're playing singles."

"Whatever," said Sengoku apathetically.

It was just then that all the teams decided who was playing where and the coaches happened to notice this.

"Hey, let's start right away!" said Ryuuzaki. "The first match has already been decided! If you'll all take a look at the diagram we have drawn up, then you'll be able to see who you are playing against!"

All the tennis players turned to see who had the first match…


	48. Certainly Not From My Ass

Chapter XLVIII- "Certainly Not From My Ass."

"The first match will feature The Jan Brady Syndrome!" said Ryuuzaki.

"YES!" cheered the people on Team 2nd Years.

"And they will be playing against Achilles' Heel!" Ryuuzaki finished.

"NO!" shouted Team 2nd Years.

"They might as well give us a by-round," said Marui as he brushed some dirt of his shoulder.

"Not that we need it," said Sengoku.

"Can we choose the order again?" said Kamio.

"Why should we do something like that?" said Sakaki.

"Because everyone on this team _really _wants to go to the tennis camp," Kamio replied.

"How dare you insinuate that our team doesn't want to go to the tennis camp!" Kirihara said.

"Yeah," said the rest of his team with limited enthusiasm as if they were only coaxed into agreeing with him, which they probably were.

"Let's just take our defeat gracefully," sighed Hiyoshi.

"What sort of attitude is that?" said Mizuki, putting his hands on Hiyoshi's shoulder in extremely ambiguously gay sort of way. "If you do something like that, then someday in the future you'll look back on this moment and curse yourself for not giving your all! I know we can make it to the tennis camp. The only thing standing in our way is Team Genius."

"Wow, whoever knew Mizuki could do a motivational speeches," Atsushi whispered to Yanagisawa. And, no, that's not quite as random as it might initially seem. They're both on St. Rudolph after all, which happens to be the same team Mizuki is part of. See? There _is _a method to the madness.

In response, Yanagisawa only gave a flamboyant shrug.

"So you guys never really answered if we were playing fake tennis or real tennis," said Atobe to the coaches.

"We're playing fake tennis," said Ojii.

"Why do we have to play fake tennis?" whined Kentarou.

"Because real tennis takes too long!" Ryuuzaki snapped.

"Could you at least refresh our memories as to the rules of fake tennis?" Renji asked as if the coaches had been purposely withholding the information.

"Certainly!" said Sakaki. "Instead of the usual service rules, it will be played as such. For doubles, each team must choose the person they wish to serve for them, and then the other team does so as well for the next game. If we need the third game, then the people who didn't serve in the previous games will alternate serving, just so it's fair."

"So one person from our team serves for a game, then one person serves from that team for a game," Shinji reasoned. "And then assuming we go to the third game, the people who didn't serve in the two previous games serve with each alternating point."

"Didn't I just say that?" Sakaki said with a raised eyebrow.

"And for singles, each player just alternates serving for each point," Ryuuzaki finished.

"So we'll start with the first doubles team from The Jan Brady Syndrome and Achilles' Heel," said Banji. "Will those players please step forward?"

Kamio and Shinji were pitted against Oshitari and Fuji as they all advanced to the super duper high tech tennis court. Everyone was standing off to the side with their foam fingers supporting their own teammates, and then some biased people from other teams supported people who were on the same tennis team as them. Example: Tachibana openly supported Kamio and Shinji. He was reprimanded by the other captains (and Jackal) because _they _wanted to go to the tennis camp. Tachibana argued quite secretly with his teammates that it would be easier to beat the second years than the geniuses, so therefore it would benefit them if the second years moved on. Though the captains did not want to go back on their chastising of Tachibana, they couldn't help but agree and therefore they all decided to cheer for the second years. This infection of second year love eventually spread to all the other teams, and pretty soon the geniuses began to notice that no one loved them. Of course, they were somewhat used to this opinion of them, because let's face it: everyone loves the underdogs.

Fuji looked at Oshitari. "It seems as though we rapidly lost the crowd's affection."

"I don't think we ever had the crowd's affection in the first place," Oshitari pointed out.

"Well, don't forget about our personal competition," Fuji reminded him.

"Of course," said Oshitari.

"So…the first team to serve will be Achilles' Heel," said Sakaki since he decided to designate himself as the referee for the game.

"BOOOOO!" said everyone.

"I will serve for our team for this game," said Fuji to Oshitari.

"Fair enough," said Oshitari.

"Should we just say they won this round?" groaned Kamio as Fuji bounced the ball on the baseline.

"Wouldn't that be jumping the gun a bit?" Shinji said. "I mean, he hasn't even served the ball yet and you've basically given up so I don't even know if I want you as my partner if you're not even going to try."

"All right, all right," said Kamio. "I'll try my best."

"Good," said Shinji plainly.

They both faced at the ready for Fuji's law of physics defying underhand serve, which successfully defied the laws of physics, and disappeared from view.

"15-0!" said Sakaki.

"Okay, I guess we can just say they won this round since he just defied the laws of physics right there and he's probably going to do it again," said Shinji.

"See?" said Kamio.

By and by, the round passed and eventually Fuji and Oshitari won the game without really having to do so much.

"Now it's our turn to shine!" said Kamio to Shinji. "Do you want to serve?"

Shinji shrugged, mumbled something or other under his breath, and took the tennis ball. He served the ball with whatever Shinji-tastic serve he happens to have, and it went right to Oshitari who returned it with skillz. When Kamio sent it back to the other side, Fuji practically dove in front of Oshitari in order to hit the ball first, sending it back over to the other side.

"GASP!" gasped everyone in the crowd as they began to discuss exactly what was happening after only seeing like five seconds of the match.

"It seems as though Fuji and Oshitari are more concerned with a match against each other than they are with the match against Kamio and Shinji," said Inui, making a note in his data book.

"They are competing against each other to hit the ball and are not playing doubles at all," Renji added.

"They are essentially two singles players on the same court," Sanada tried. "That's not _so _bad."

"Wrong," said Inui. "In addition to playing against Kamio and Shinji, they are also playing against each other."

Sanada looked peeved with Inui telling him flat out that he was wrong, but after a quick back rub from Yukimura, he was all settled down.

"Stop playing against each other and just win the game!" Kirihara commanded angrily, but he regretted a second later because he received a cold stare from both of the geniuses on the court. Still, even while they were glaring at Kirihara, they managed to return another serve and receive the last point of the game.

"Achilles' Heel wins the first round!" Sakaki announced.

"AW MAN!" said Shinji and Kamio in quite the out of character fashion as they kicked the ground and returned to their pals.

"Between the two of us, who do you suppose won that match?" said Fuji as he and Oshitari approached the other geniuses.

They all looked at each other nervously.

"You know what?" said Marui. "I think Sengoku will have to answer that one because Kirihara and I have to start our match!"

"That's right!" said Kirihara as he and Marui quickly ran off.

Fuji and Oshitari watched them go and then looked at Sengoku. "Well?" said Oshitari.

"Uh…" said Sengoku.

"Next doubles match!" Sakaki ordered. "Marui and Kirihara versus Hiyoshi and Momo!"

"Worst match ever," said Kaidou only to annoy Momo.

"Hey!" said Momo, shaking his fist at Kaidou.

"You guys better win or else I won't get a turn to play!" said Mizuki.

"Right because that's our biggest concern," said Momo sarcastically.

"If it's not then it should be," Mizuki decided.

"Let's begin," said Sakaki since he is still the self proclaimed referee as all the other coaches stand idly by being helpfully silent. "Since Achilles' Heel got to go first in the previous round, Jan Brady Syndrome gets to go first in this one. So who will serve?"

"I guess I will," said Momo since obviously Hiyoshi doesn't feel much like speaking. In fact, I'd be willing to bet Hiyoshi doesn't really feel anything. After all, he's really useless and pointless and no one wants to hear what he has to say anyway.

So then Momo served the ball. Kirihara decided right then and there that it would be the best time to whip out his new special move that involved some way of defying nature and accomplishing a feat that seems so unrealistic that he should transfer his character to the Dragon Ball Z comics.

"Wow, Kirihara, that was simply amazing!" Marui remarked after Kirihara had successfully won them that particular service game. "I had no idea you could pull that out of your ass."

"I didn't pull it out of my ass," said Kirihara.

"Oh," said Marui. "I thought you had. I guess I was wrong."

"I know," said Kirihara. "You just said it. And then I refuted it."

"So where did it come from?" Marui asked.

"Certainly not from my ass," Kirihara responded.

"All right, all right!" said Ryuuzaki. "You young things should not be swearing and we should be continuing the match!"

Kirihara and Marui agreed, but not with the searing part and only with the continuing the match part. They were going to swear if they wanted to, and then subsequently look up the words 'sex' and 'poop' in the direction and giggle childishly and there was nothing Ryuuzaki or anyone else old could do to stop them!

Anyway, regardless of whether or not Kirihara and Marui are childishly foolish, the match continued. And, frankly, you all remember Hiyoshi's abysmal performances in that match he had that time. You know…ALL of them? Yeah, well. Nothing against Hiyoshi or anything, but he's not so great.

Basically, despite Mizuki's wishes that Hiyoshi and Momo would be victorious, they were not. Sad. So, in the end, neither Sengoku nor Mizuki got an opportunity to play singles against each other, because having another match would be pointless because the genius team had already won the majority.

"I really wanted to go to the tennis camp!" Kamio wept into Tachibana's shoulder.

"There, there," said Tachibana as he also caressed Shinji in his state of awful sadness. "The coaches said that this tournament doesn't fully decide who gets to go to the tennis camp, only contributes to the previous challenges in helping them make their decision of who is most worthy."

Shinji took the weeping a little too far and blew his nose on Tachibana's shirt, however, which sort of annoyed Tachibana but he didn't show it because he loves his Fudomine players waaaay too much.

Momo just sat there looking disappointed and Hiyoshi stood there looking vacant. Mizuki was mostly angry that he wasn't advancing further simply because he wanted to show up Team Hard Workers for ever letting him go in the first place, so now he vowed to cheer for anyone who _wasn't _them in the upcoming matches.

"Well, that was an exciting match," said Banji. "But now Achilles' Heel moves forward to the next round! Let's see who will be playing against Achilles' Heel in the next match."

"It could be one of two teams, and we will reveal them to you right now!" said Ojii as he pulled a tarp aside to reveal the names of the next two teams. "Will it be…Entrepreneur or The Pillars?"

"JUST PILLARS," said Tezuka in an elevated voice as he furrowed his brow slightly to show his extreme anger.

"Sorry…" said Ojii nervously.

"We can beat these guys," said Shishido to his team. "All it takes is a little hard work and determination!"

"Well, a _lot _of hard work," Yuuta added.

"And optimism," Niou said.

The rest of Entrepreneur gave a heavy sigh at the last component of what it would take to win.

"Are any of you worried?" Jackal asked the other captains.

"No," said Tachibana after he had come back from changing his shirt.

"Though I am concerned over this match I will be having on the same side of the court as my hated rival, Tezuka," said Atobe.

"Your mom," said Tezuka since he was obviously in a bad mood with everyone failing at saying the team name he had labored so hard to concoct.

"Let's all do our best," Yukimura added.

"That's the spirit!" said Sakaki. "Will the first doubles players from each team please make their way to the court? Whichever team wins this match will go on to compete against Achilles' Heel, so let's make it a good one!"


	49. The Fleeting Moment of Confusion

Chapter XLIX- The Fleeting Moment of Confusion."

"The first match will be Jackal and Yukimura from Pillars against Inui and Kaidou from Entrepreneur," said Ryuuzaki.

"Thank you for saying our team name correctly," said Tezuka to Ryuuzaki.

"No problem, Tezuka," said Ryuuzaki.  "It's the least I can do for missing basically all practices ever and being a completely insufficient coach by forcing all of my responsibilities concerning the Seigaku tennis team on you."

"It's about time I got some recognition for that," said Tezuka.

"Anyway, who would like to serve first?" said Sakaki to the teams.  "We could flip a coin."

"They can serve first," said Yukimura, gesturing to Inui and Kaidou.

"You think we _need _it?" said Kaidou angrily.

"It's all right, Kaidou," said Inui.  "It doesn't matter who serves first since each team gets to have a fair shot."

"Fine," said Kaidou but he still looked like he wanted to kill things.

Since Inui is the one with the super duper record breaking serve, he took the tennis ball and decided to serve.  Since Yukimura is like a Dragon Ball Z character, he managed to return the serve with apparent ease, even though Inui's serve is fantastic.

"How did he do that?" exclaimed everyone because they just wanted to express their state of awe and didn't necessarily want an explanation but OF COURSE Renji came out of nowhere and began a long winded explanation.

It sort of made everyone back away from him except for a choice few who stood there either nodding their heads in agreement or still standing there in complete hypnotic awe.

And, since Inui apparently has super powers as previously displayed, he managed to overhear the entire explanation and thanked his lucky stars for his buddy's inability to keep his mouth shut about his teammates' weaknesses.

So therefore Inui made some adjustments right then and there in the middle of the game and suddenly had the ability to force the serve past Yukimura.

Yukimura dove for the ball but, as it bounced behind him and Sakaki called the point, his normal happy demeanor suddenly changed as he threw a cold death stare at Inui.  Even Fuji had to acknowledge Yukimura's cold death stare and remark on how he must have been practicing on small animals because he himself felt somewhat of a shiver.  But only somewhat.

"Are you all right, Yukimura?" asked Jackal as Yukimura only stood there with his death glare.  It's a good thing Inui was wearing glasses because those things filter that shit so it's not as harsh.

"I'm just fine, Jackal," said Yukimura.  "Just get ready for the next serve."

"Hm…" said Tezuka to Atobe as the tennis ball went back and forth.  "Perhaps Kaidou and Jackal should step out of the court and have Yukimura and Inui play an unofficial singles match."

Atobe looked at Tezuka skeptically.  "You know, Tezuka," he said.  "Contrary to what you may have been told, that's actually not allowed in regulation tennis."

"May or may not you be referring to something that may or may not have occurred in the past, by any chance?" Tezuka retorted.

Atobe only stared at Tezuka as if to say, "Whatev."

"Game!" said Sakaki.

Atobe and Tezuka looked over since they were apparently the only ones who weren't paying attention to the match.  They were quite shocked to discover Sakaki pointing at Inui and Kaidou who were having a party with their teammates.

Jackal and Yukimura went back over to the Captains Team.

"And what exactly happened?" said Tachibana, sounding disappointed.  I suppose he wasn't paying attention either.

"Or, rather, what didn't happen?" Atobe followed up.

"Don't judge us!" said Jackal.

"I know what happened," said Tezuka, crossing his arms.  "You were up against a very strong doubles team from Seigaku.  I have trained them well."

"Yeah, and also we had to forfeit because my horrible debilitating disease was feeling particularly debilitating today," said Yukimura.  "Could someone call an ambulance?"

"Yukimura!" exclaimed Sanada as he ran over.  "Are you feeling ill?"

"Very much so," said Yukimura as he put his hand on his forehead and fainted.  Thankfully, Sanada was there to scoop him up and take him to the nearest facility that could tend to his horrible debilitating disease.

"Unlucky," said Tachibana.

"Next is Atobe and Tezuka from Pillars versus Shishido and Niou from Entrepreneur!" announced Sakaki.  "Please come to the court!"

"I sure hope Yukimura is going to be okay," said Niou as he and Shishido took to the court.

"We have much more important things to do right now!" said Shishido.  "Tennis!"

"Oh right," said Niou as he got into the zone.  "You've studied my playing style and everything, right?  Quick, let me wear your hat!"

Shishido immediately protected his hat as Niou made a grab for it.  "What?" he demanded.  "Why?  What are you talking about?"

"We have to pretend we're each other for the first part of the match to send our opponents into a fleeting state of confusion when we switch back in the second part!" said Niou, looking all excited.

"What's the point of that?" said Shishido.

"The fleeting moment of confusion," said Niou as if it were obvious.  Well, it was.  TO HIM.

"No, that's lame!" Shishido said forcefully.  "We are just going to play against him like normal people who are better than other people!"

He looked over at Atobe and Tezuka who were both standing on the other side of the court with their rackets, both looking exceptionally intimidating.  Then he looked back to the rest of his team and demanded, "How did _I _end up in this match?"

"Just play!" commanded Kaidou.

And so that's what he did.  He and Niou played quite well together but, let's be frank.  Though Atobe and Tezuka have had their share of disagreements and arguments in the past, there is not a snowball's chance in hell that they would have lost of Shishido and Niou.  No offense to those two or anything, but realistically.  Come on.

UNLESS…

"My horrible recurring injury that always comes back to haunt me at the worst of times!" Tezuka exclaimed as he fell to the court in a heap and the ball went right by him.

"We got a point?" said Shishido.

"We got a point!" exclaimed Niou.  And so the new best friends hugged each other and danced around in circles.

"Are you for real, Tezuka?" said Atobe, looking around as if he were embarrassed.  "We only had to get one more point to win."

"It's far too painful for me to play anymore," said Tezuka.

"We already had to forfeit the previous match," Atobe pointed out.

Tezuka shrugged, which only caused him more pain so he regretted it a second later.

And so, Tezuka and Atobe were unable to continue playing and therefore they forfeited their match, declaring Team Hard Working as the winners!

"Wow, did anybody see that coming?" said Niou.

"No," said Yuuta.  "Though, doesn't the win feel somewhat empty?"

"Why do you say that?" asked Shishido.

"Because we only one our matches because members of the other team got injured," Yuuta said.  "I don't know.  Maybe it's just me."

"It is just you," said Shishido.  "You're just mad because you didn't get a chance to play yet."

"Um…" said Yuuta uneasily.

"All right, all right!" said Ojii.  "Congratulations Entrepreneur!  You will go onto play Achilles' Heel in the next round!"

Team Hard Working looked at the Geniuses who happened to be striking a B-A pose at the moment.  And then they secretly hoped many injuries upon them.

"The next match has quite an ironic twist!" said Banji.  "It pits the oldest team against the youngest team!  Respect Your Elders, Team 3rd Years, will play against FRESHMAN, Team WTF!"

"That _would be _ironic if it wasn't for the fact that there are only two actual freshmen on this team," Kentarou shrugged.

"Can we change our team name?" sighed Yagyuu.


	50. It's Like One Big Crazy Rokkaku Match!

Chapter L- "It's Like One Big Crazy Rokkaku Match!"

"Okay, guys, this'll be no problem," said Jirou to the rest of his 3rd Year Team.  "We've owned in basically all of the other competitions so there's no reason why we shouldn't own this one too!"

"But we shouldn't get cocky," Saeki warned.

"With a name like 'Respect Your Elders,' shouldn't we act as cocky as possible?" Yanagisawa asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yes, I suppose so," Saeki reasoned.  "As long as it's not too mean spirited."

"So Saeki and Ryou are in the first doubles match," said Oishi as he looked up from the huddle to see the other team.  "It looks like you guys are playing against Kentarou and Itsuki."

"No problem," said Ryou.  "It'll be a synch."

"You really think so?" said Saeki.

"This is going to be one big ridiculous Rokkaku tennis match," Jirou observed.

"I know, that's exactly why I'm nervous," said Saeki.

"Why?" said Ryou.  "We know Kentarou is going to throw the first round, so let's give them the serve so we'll have the advantage."

"That's true," Oishi said.  "He will do that.  And then you just have to capitalize on the second game and you win."

"Fair enough," Saeki nodded.  "I just hope we can do it."

"We can!" said Yanagisawa.

And then they all did a secret handshake.

Meanwhile, the WTF Team was less than enthusiastic.  They all sort of knew it was going to be difficult for them to own, considering they had just been thrown together at the last minute.  But they also happened to notice it was going to be one big crazy Rokkaku match.

"All right!" said Kentarou.  "We know exactly how to play against them!"

"But don't they know exactly how to play against us too?" Itsuki worried.

"True, but we'll use it against them," Kentarou said.  "This has got to be a _real _game and not just a practice."

"It'll sure seem like a practice," David noted.

"Well, at least we have a cheering squad," Yagyuu observed as the Freshman Trio appeared out of nowhere with signs that supported them and big foam fingers and various other things to show their love an affection towards them.

"Wow, they're not bitter at all," Ryoma said, looking slightly impressed.  "I would have been bitter if I had been in their situation."

"Well, we're glad we didn't switch you out because of our own personal bitterness since this is a tennis competition after all," said Yagyuu.

"I hope I get a chance to play," Ryoma said, crossing his arms.

"Are you insinuating that we might perform well enough to get to the singles match?" Kentarou demanded.  "You're saying both of us will lose?"

"I don't know.  Maybe.  There's no guarantee."

Sure, Ryoma was a tool and all, but he _is _the Prince of Tennis, so can you blame him?

"Saeki and Ryou from Respect Your Elders!" Sakaki announced.  "Versus Kentarou and Itsuki from FRESHMAN!"

"Wow!" exclaimed Eiji because he thought he was the most observant person in the world.  "They're _all _on Rokkaku!  It's like one big crazy Rokkaku match!"

"Duh, Eiji," said basically everyone except Oishi who comforted him since everyone had just made fun of him.

And thus, the one big crazy Rokkaku match began.

The WTF side didn't exactly think everything through as well as the 3rd Years.  Saeki graciously offered Kentarou and Itsuki the first serve, which they took so willingly.  And, of course, Kentarou promptly threw that match so he could be _under pressure!_

"Would you like to serve?" Ryou asked his teammate.

"Why, sure, I will," said Saeki as he took the tennis ball.

Kentarou and Itsuki looked at each other.  "Throwing that first match wasn't a good idea, was it?" Itsuki said.

"No, not with fake tennis," Kentarou replied uneasily.

And thus the tennis began.  To make an otherwise long and tedious match short, we'll just say that Saeki and Ryou won.

"Hurray!" cheered Jirou.

"There was so much hype to that match but it went by so quickly!" Eiji exclaimed, looking disappointed.

"There wasn't any hype to that match," said Gakuto since he happened to be the one who was standing next to Eiji at the time.

"Yes there was!" said Eiji.

"What was the hype?"

"It was one big crazy Rokkaku match!"

Gakuto raised an eyebrow.  "Again, where's the hype?"

"I don't know," said Eiji.  "I just thought it was funny and unique that everyone who was playing in that match was on Rokkaku, _okay_?"

"Whoa, whatever," said Gakuto.

"Let's stop fighting," suggested Choutarou.  "We're going to miss the match!"

"I didn't even realize Oishi was playing!" Eiji yelled as he whipped out his giant foam fingers and various flags.  "GO OISHI!"

"Thank you Eiji!" said Oishi as he clenched his fist dramatically and got the will to make a glorious comeback with the help of both Eiji's encouragement and his teammate, Yanagisawa.  Okay, well, it was mostly just Eiji's encouragement.

"I thought we had that match in the bag!" said David.  "Then Oishi got his second wind!"

Yagyuu only stared at David.  "You know," he said.  "There is absolutely no chance the coaches would send the WTF team to the tennis camp."

"So true," David said.

"And the team we are playing against has done consistently well in all the challenges so far," Yagyuu reasoned.

"Again, true," David agreed.

"So," said Yagyuu.  "Instead of standing here fooling myself into thinking I can go to this prestigious tennis camp, I'm just going to call it a day."

With that, Yagyuu walked back over to his team bench, picked up all his things and strolled away.

"Hey, wait a second!" said Ryoma once he realized that made the match a forfeit.

"You know, I wasn't going to agree with _that _decision," said David, walking over.

"But I want a turn to play tennis!" Ryoma said, on the verge of a temper tantrum.

"What just happened?" said Yanagisawa to Oishi.

Oishi shrugged and looked at Sakaki.

"Uh…" Sakaki stuttered awkwardly.  "Respect Your Elders wins!"

"HURRAY!" cheered Team 3rd Years as they jumped up into the air like Power Ran—well, that simile is overdone.  They jump into the air like…uh…airborne people.  Uh…Power Rangers!

"This is an outrage!" said Ryoma, actually looking passionate.  "I demand we get another opportunity to play!"

"How so?" asked Sakaki.

"I'll play with David on the second doubles team," said Ryoma, picking up his racket.

"Then who will play singles?" Itsuki asked.

"We need the singles match because we lost the first one," said Kentarou.  "And the same person can't play in more than one match."

"But…but…it's _fake tennis_!" Ryoma said.  "We can bend the rules!"

"I'm sorry, Ryoma, but your team loses this round," said Ryuuzaki as she tried to comfortingly put a hand on Ryoma's shoulder, but Ryoma decided to be childish and unsportsmanlike and stomp off, leaving big Ryoma sized footprints in the ground.

Everyone chuckled at him as he departed, and Sakaki decided to reannounce the winners because they had been upstaged by Ryoma's outburst.  "Winners!  Respect Your Elders!" he called through a megaphone as Banji and Ojii worked together to pull an enormous ball of confetti.

"No!" Ryuuzaki exclaimed.  "That giant ball was for the overall winner of the entire tournament!"

"It's a sign of things to come!" declared Jirou.

"That's what you think," said every other team snidely.

"So Respect Your Elders will move onto the next round and play against either Beanstalk Rhapsody or Switch Trick Play," said Banji as he didn't care about the confetti or the trash talking.

"It'll be a good match," said Fuji.  He might have been serious, or it might have been more trash talking, but no one was going to challenge him.

"Will you cheer for me, Oishi?" Eiji asked eagerly.

"Of course, Eiji!" said Oishi.  "You don't even have to ask!"

"This will prove to be a very enthralling match-up…" said Ojii, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.


	51. Oishi! It's Not What It Looks Like!

Chapter LI- "Oishi! It's Not What It Looks Like!"

It was silent for a very long time. Probably about the equivalent of ten months, give or take a few days. Then they all awoke from their comatose states and looked around, bewildered as to why that pause had taken place.

"Why did that pause take place?" demanded a very angry tennis player.

"Let's not dwell on that right now!" said Ryuuzaki. "It's important for us to capitalize on this moment and get through as much as we can!"

"YEAH!" cheered everyone.

"So first up is Kabaji and Taka from Beanstalk Rhapsody versus Atsushi and Eiji from Switch Trick Play!" announced Ryuuzaki. "The four of you should take the courts."

"This is a great match too!" said Eiji to his partner as they got on their side of the court. "It's kind of like the big crazy Rokkaku match."

"Why is that?" Atsushi asked.

"Well, because me and Taka are both on Seigaku," Eiji started. "And you and Kabaji are..." Then he paused and reconsidered his thought process. "Oh. Wait. Never mind. But it's STILL a great match!"

"Who were you confusing me with?" Atsushi said.

"No one," said Eiji obliviously.

"I'm used to people confusing me with my brother," said Atsushi. "But I really don't look like anyone on Hyoutei."

"It was an honest mistake," Eiji said defensively.

"Hey you two, stop having a lover's quarrel and get to the game!" commanded Sakaki into a megaphone.

Everyone who hadn't been paying attention quickly ran over to see who was supposedly having the lover's quarrel. Upon arriving, Oishi gasped and fainted.

"Oishi!" Eiji yelled as he managed to sprint across the court and catch his _true_ doubles partner before he fell to the ground. (You know, since Eiji has the ability to go so fast that it looks like there are two of them there by himself.) "It's not what it looks like!"

"Eiji..." said Oishi dramatically as he looked like he was about to die.

Everyone who was standing idly by just raised their eyebrows skeptically in response and they all decided they were bored.

"We're bored," everyone decided.

"Let's get to the tennis match then," said Ojii, looking annoyed.

So Oishi and Eiji stopped being drama queens and finally everyone who was _actually _involved in the match ignored the pointless interruption and got ready to start a fun game of fake tennis.

"Oh yeah, I forgot for a minute that it was fake tennis," said Taka to his doubles partner who happened to be Kabaji. We all know how talkative Kabaji is, so we'll just say Kabaji had a more or less generic response to Taka's remark.

As the match began, the teams on the sidelines were becoming anxious to have their own opportunities to play tennis. Choutarou and Gakuto were contemplating various moves they could use which they had developed while at practice (since they're actually on Hyoutei unlike Atsushi) and also establish effective formations because, as they would constantly point out, this is not their usual doubles situation so therefore they were at a bit of a disadvantage since Gakuto would rather be playing doubles with Oshitari while Choutarou would rather be playing doubles with Shishido. Well duh.

Anyway, while that was occurring, Tetsu was only standing there by himself, secretly hoping that Atsushi and Eiji would lose so Gakuto and Choutarou could win so that he would get a chance to play tennis even if he would have to play against Sanada and probably lose. Unfortunately, Tetsu didn't have much else to think about beside his own helplessness and tennis.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Bane, Renji and Sanada were actually all watching the match. This team is quite the underdog team when it came to teamwork skillz and they were, surprisingly, being very supportive of Kabaji and Taka who were holding their own against Atsushi and Eiji. The match itself wasn't so interesting...just the fact that everyone had different fans, but that would be true for any match.

"Thanks to Oishi forgiving and supporting me, I was able to win!" Eiji exclaimed.

"Congratulations Eiji!" Oishi said.

"Thank you, Oishi!" said Eiji.

And they might have performed some sort of "BFFL" Ritual right then and there and gone into SYNCHRO and all that jazz, but no one felt like paying anymore attention to them so they were dismissed, or at least told to have their party elsewhere.

"It's all right," said Sanada as Kabaji and Taka came over, defeated.

"I feel like you two should have won easily," Bane said, trying to lean over and check Renji's databook. "You both excel in the powerhouse department."

Renji was very protective of said book as he stood up. "Tennis moves displayed by Atsushi and Eiji would have been impossible for Kabaji to immitate," he reflected. "Perhaps my original suggestion for the formation would have been ideal."

Renji didn't give Sanada an opportunity to bitch slap him because he just walked away all dramatically with his eyes closed. Bane shrugged it off and frolicked after Renji since the two of them were up in the next match.

"Renji and Bane from Beanstalk Rhapsody!" said Ryuuzaki. "Versus Gakuto and Ootori from Switch Trick Play!"

"If we don't win this one then we're out," said Taka.

"And I won't get to play tennis," said Sanada, crossing his arms with a frown. For some odd reason, they both decided to look at Kabaji for his addition to the conversation.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

"Wow, this is an interesting match!" said Atsushi to Eiji and Tetsu. The two just looked confused. "Well, because Gakuto and Ootori are both on Hyoutei while Bane is on Rokkaku and Renji is on Rikkai Dai!"

There was quietness.

"Are you making fun of me?" Eiji inquired.

"Yes," said Atsushi.

"Well don't," said Eiji. "It makes me feel bad about myself!"

"Fine," said Atsushi.

"And, if you took a second to look at the match, then you would realize that it _is _an interesting match," said Tetsu.

"Why?" said Eiji and Atsushi quizzically.

"Because all four of them are good tennis players with exceptional serves!" Tetsu announced.

"Yes, but we have to figure out a commonality between all four of them," said Eiji, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Yeah, now I feel as though it's our duty," Atsushi agreed.

The unlikely partners in crime collaborated everything they knew on the four players while Tetsu just sat by and sobbed because they wouldn't listen to him when he said they were all good tennis players, which was their commonality.

"Now's our service," said Gakuto as he threw the tennis ball to Choutarou. "If you make sure they don't even get a chance to return any serves, then we win the match and we move on to play against the 3rd Years! And I want to crush them so bad..."

"Why?" Choutarou asked.

"Because they're so cocky!" Gakuto answered.

The two of them looked over at Respect Your Elders as they all just sat around laughing and slapping their knees. Perhaps to a casual onlooker, they were only having a joyous time watching the tennis match, but to a competitive eye, they were judging everyone else.

"You're right!" Choutarou agreed.

"Plus, they're the ones who are probably in the front running for going to this tennis camp since they did well in all of the challenges," Gakuto continued. "We can't let _them _be the ones who go, right?"

"Not with attitudes like theirs," said Choutarou.

"Yeah, so let's do this using _that _as our motivation!" Gakuto announced.

"I'll put all my heart and soul into it!" Choutarou said as he threw the ball up into the air and served it.

Gakuto and Choutarou's playing increased basically a hundred thousand fold because they were so sparked with the need to take down the 3rd Years who were acting cocky. Bane and Renji didn't even know what hit them!

"What just hit us?" Renji inquired.

"Try opening your eyes," Bane suggested.

"Pfft," said Renji.

"Winners!" Ryuuzaki announced. "Switch Trick Play!"

"YAY!" cheered the team of doubles players as they all ran to each other in a group and hugged like they were being paid for it.

"Oh well," said Sanada. "I find it annoying that I don't seem to get to play tennis _ever_...but I'll get over it somehow."

"Yeah, when we're at the tennis camp," said Bane enthusiastically.

"That's the spirit!" said Taka gleefully.

"Did you find a commonality for all four of the players?" Tetsu asked Atsushi and Eiji.

"That is _so _last page," said Eiji and Atsushi.

"Aww..." said Tetsu, feeling ultimately left out.

"Congratulations!" said Ryuuzaki. "I believe that ends this round! With only four teams left, this is getting more and more exciting by the moment! The tension is palpable! You could potentially cut through this tension with a knife and serve it as a tension cake!"

When she noticed everyone was looking upon her with concern for her mental health, she decided to move on.

"Achilles' Heel will play against Entrepreneur in the first match," she said, reading off her handy-dandy clipboard. "And then we'll have Respect Your Elders against Switch Trick Play. You all remember where you're supposed to be?"

"And I suppose those of us who failed to be associated with a winning team should just sit back and watch, am I correct?" Atobe questioned.

"Yes," said Banji. "If anyone leaves then that person automatically disqualifies his entire team! Which means, yes, Team FRESHMAN was disqualified. We're still debating on whether Pillars should be eliminated based on Yukimura and Tezuka's required trip to the hospital..."

"They didn't leave because they _wanted _to," said Atobe. "They were so dedicated and intense about going to this tennis camp that they injured themselves."

"If anything," Tachibana chimed in. "We should receive brownie points for their dedication."

"We'll consider it!" said Ryuuzaki. "For now, we're going to move onto the next match, and it's a doozy! Will Entrepreneur and Achilles' Hell please take to the courts!"


	52. I Do Like the Idea of Not Doing Work

Chapter LII- "I Do Like the Idea of Not Doing Work."

"So, to answer your question, Tezuka, I was thirty-one when I finally came to terms with my identity as a woman," said Ryuuzaki.

"What?" said Tezuka since he didn't remember asking any questions, especially not ones that involved Ryuuzaki or her identity as a woman.

"Oh, we're back!" exclaimed Hyoshi because he's the go to guy when choosing someone random to say something since no one likes him and, at the same time, no one has any problem with him so when they see his name, they just glaze over it and continue reading.

"HURRAY!" cheered everyone.

"We happened to notice you misspelled 'Heal' and wrote 'Hell' in the previous chapter," Oshitari observed.

"We approve of this change!" announced Marui.

"You will NOT be having swears in your team name!" said Ojii as he waggled his finger at the geniuses.

"Cause we're middle school students?" inquired Sengoku.

"Exactly!" Ojii said.

"Fine…" grumbled the geniuses.

"So let's get right into it," said Sakaki, sounding rather excited.

Inui and Kaidou were up first for the Hard Working Team, aka Entrepreneur, which has turned out to be a really annoying team name to write so many times because it's difficult to spell. Anyway, Inui had of course been taking copious data from the first match the Geniuses played so he was ready to undertake Fuji and Oshitari's foolish competition against one another instead of against the other team.

"WORST MATCH EVER!" Momo shouted in response to Kaidou's similar earlier remark in Chapter 48.

"Shut up!" Kaidou yelled uncreatively, which isn't a word, but it should be.

"Kaidou, try to focus on the match," said Inui as he tossed his databook aside in a needlessly dramatic way. "Though our opponents are not working in cahoots with each other, they are still formidable."

Kaidou was too busy being thrown off by Inui's use of the word "cahoots" to really pay attention to anything else he had said.

Fuji and Oshitari, meanwhile, were developing a strategy on their own.

"So we should work together for this match just to throw them off," Fuji said, smiling pleasantly at Oshitari.

"Fair enough," said Oshitari.

Renji happened to be standing pretty close by for some unexplained reason (he was probably stalking them and doing his regular creepy stuff) and he also happened to overhear what was being discussed between the two geniuses and wanted to convey this information to his best friend and possibly secret lover, Inui. He also wanted to tell Kaidou since any friend/secret lover of Inui's is a friend/secret lover of Renji's. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to simply shout this information to the other team because then the geniuses may have just switched up their technique, so he instead decided to convey his knowledge telepathically to Inui, since these two have obviously evolved beyond the realms of normal human abilities and developed techniques such as telepathy. But not really. He only WISHED he had magical powers. Instead, he used another ability which he and Inui had developed which was more realistic, though completely outrageous, which involved arching his eyebrows in different manners, with each angle of the brow symbolizing a word or phrase, which Inui was able to interpret and learn the secret that Renji was attempting to send him.

Pointless, yes, but useful.

"Kaidou, we have to be on guard even more so than before," Inui reported. "Fuji and Oshitari are planning something devious."

"Duh," said Kaidou. (Which brings his syllable count to three so far.)

"Begin the match already!" said Sakaki impatiently.

Fuji and Oshitari had decided to start the match of fake tennis in the long interlude that had taken place while Renji was wiggling his eyebrows at Inui and pretending to have telepathic powers. Even though Fuji would have obviously easily won the round for them by taking the serve, he graciously offered it to Oshitari. And, since they were now best friends, Oshitari gladly took it and gave it a serve.

Kaidou returned it, and the ball went back and forth for a bit in flawless perfection, which makes sense because it doesn't seem like perfection would involve any flaws. Fuji and Oshitari's natural grace mixed with Inui and Kaidou's clumsy stamina proved to be a very compatible match. All four of them played just like a gym class in which everyone got a turn and nothing especially magical happened, which is pretty surprising considering the quartet.

Finally, the first point was scored by Oshitari and Fuji.

"I'm bored," Fuji said to Oshitari.

"So am I," Oshitari agreed as he caught the ball to do the next serve.

"Now we have two options," Fuji said. "We can either just throw the game so we can be done with it without having to do any work, or we can get serious and crush the dreams of our opposing team."

"Well, I do like the idea of not doing work," Oshitari.

"As much as I like not doing work, I like crushing the dreams of the innocent even more," Fuji remarked.

"You are so evil," Oshitari said, but it sounded endearing.

"I know," said Fuji. "Isn't it lovely?"

"Bordering on scary," Oshitari admitted.

"Stop chatting and get back to the game!" commanded the coaches.

Oshitari and Fuji then spun around and pointed at Kaidou and Inui with their rackets in the most dramatic way possible with their cold stares which caused a gust of wind that was so powerful that Inui and Kaidou were knocked off their feet.

"What an aura!" Kaidou exclaimed as he got up.

Inui was unable to speak because he was frozen in fear as he adjusted his glasses.

"Let's start," said Oshitari as he threw the ball up into the air and served it with such intensity that the coaches decided right then and there that the match was over.

"Winners, Team Genius!" announced Ojii. No one really argued or complained because they were all petrified by Oshitari and Fuji's collective iciness.

"Who even let them be on the same team?" Eiji whispered to Oishi since they were standing next to each other for no reason other than they're best friends.

Inui and Kaidou returned to their team's bench and proceeded to hack up blood for a half an hour since all of their organs were crushed by the Geniuses. But don't worry, they were fine.

"You guys are slightly hardcore," Kirihara commented when his teammates had come to the bench after their victory.

"Maybe someday you can aspire to be that great," Fuji said.

"So now we'll move onto the second doubles game," said Ryuuzaki a little nervously. "Kirihara and Marui from Achilles' Heel versus Shishido and Niou from Entrepreneur!"

"You can do it!" Yuuta said. "Just win like you won last time and we're off to the finals!"

"We won last time because half of the other team had to be taken to the hospital," said Shishido, annoyed.

"I'm just being supportive," said Yuuta, looking hurt.

"Well stop it," said Shishido. "It's annoying."

Yuuta went off to a corner to cry as the four people took the court. Fuji happened to notice what had transpired between Yuuta and Shishido and was none too pleased about the treatment his precious little brother had received, so he decided he would take matters into his own hands to make sure Shishido's dreams (and organs) were crushed EXTRA hard.

Because Fuji is so subtle and creepy, he opted to take drastic measures right off the bat to injure Shishido's innocent loved ones in order to cut him down extra hard, which would definitely involve his BFF Choutarou. Since Fuji is so creepy, however, his revenge would not involve instant gratification because creepiness is all in the execution, but boy would Choutarou be surprised when he returned home only to find the head of a horse in his bed!

Anyway, that's a sad and unrelated story, so moving on. While we were on that little tangent, I'll have you know lots of intense things happened and, for the sake of story, we're going to say Kirihara and Marui won. This was kind of good for Entrepreneur because of Yuuta's recent turn to the Emo Side so he probably wouldn't have played too well against Sengoku, but of course it was actually really bad for them because that meant they were out of the tournament.

"All of our hard work…" Niou said, clenching his fist dramatically. Then he looked around to see his teammates were legitimately lamenting their loss and suddenly realized he didn't care as much as them. And what's worse, his BFF Yagyuu had left a while ago! The only reason he had continued to hang around was because he had the opportunity to play more tennis and he would never pass up on that, but now that he had no more chance to play tennis, he realized he didn't need to be there anymore, especially since Yagyuu wasn't there either! What an unnecessary and circular sentence! Oh well!

So anyway, in case you couldn't come to your own conclusion, Niou left. This would have disqualified Entrepreneur anyway, but it didn't matter since there was no way they were going to win in the first place since they had such bad attitudes in the previous competitions. The remaining people on the Hard Working Team threw temper tantrums and almost ran home crying, but then they decided to stay because they had reasons to watch the following rounds. Specifically, Shishido wanted to see Choutarou play tennis, Yuuta wanted to watch his brother and foam jealously, Kaidou just enjoyed anything which involved tennis and Inui would never pass on an opportunity to gain more data on people.

"Well, so yeah," said Sakaki. "Achilles' Heel will be playing in the finals against a team which has yet to be determined!"

"Of course, it's between Respect Your Elders and Switch Trick Play," Banji said, thoughtfully stroking his chin which may or may not have a beard on it. At this point, I don't remember what he looks like anyway.

"Should we start taking bets?" Hiyoshi pondered. Yes, this is Hiyoshi's second line in a section which he should be completely silent like the rest of the tennis players. But he's getting special treatment.

Though, everyone ignored him so it's not like it mattered anyway.

"But remember," Ryuuzaki said. "Just because a certain team wins this tournament does not mean they will go to the tennis camp."

"It helps though," Ojii added.

"First up for the next match," Sakaki started, checking the lineup on his clipboard. "Atsushi and Eiji from Switch Trick Play against Saeki and Ryou from Respect Your Elders! Please take to the courts!"


	53. It's Product Placement!

Chapter LIII- "It's Product Placement!"

Team 3rd Years and Team Doubles happen to be the most cohesive teams ever, so much so that their strength and determination to stay together as a team should have easily made them all winners. But, as we saw previously with Team Tall, simply wanting it doesn't cut it. After all, if both teams want to win so badly, they would just end up cancelling each other out and wouldn't that just result in a forfeit or something equally horrendous?

"Saeki and Ryou from Respect Your Elders!" announced Ryuuzaki. "Take to the courts!"

"And we're on it too!" declared Atsushi and Eiji pushed their way by and waved their rackets in the air like they just don't care. A small and petty quarrel began, and the rest of the teams not involved only stood by, idly confused as to what was going on.

"Should we be going in there…?" Oishi asked nervously.

"You just want to go in there to see if Eiji is okay," Jirou accused.

"So?" said Oishi. "Maybe he's hurt!"

"Why would he be hurt? Who would hurt him?"

"I don't know! It could happen!"

"HEAR YE! HEAR YE!" Ryuuzaki shouted as she banged a gavel in order to get everyone to pay attention to her. "There will be no dissention in the ranks. We are going to begin the match."

"Saeki and Ryou!" announced Saeki as he got to his feet with his racket in his hand.

"Yeah!" Ryou agreed as he did the same thing.

"Uh…us too?" Eiji said to Atsushi.

"YEAH!" Atsushi agreed.

"We need to get his hurried along so we can know who we will be playing against in the finals," said Kirihara. "I'm so curious."

"As are we," chimed the rest of the geniuses.

"Let's do it!" said Eiji.

Oishi didn't know who he was going to cheer for because he wanted Eiji to do a good job of course, but naturally, Eiji was on a different team as him. Eiji found himself in an identical situation because he wanted to cheer for Oishi but clearly couldn't. At least they were playing against different people so they would be able to watch each other's matches.

Saeki and Ryou readied themselves at the baseline as Atsushi and Eiji ran to the other end and readied themselves too.

"Look, this could potentially be a big crazy Rokkaku match—" Eiji started.

"It won't ever happen again!" Atsushi interrupted. "Stop living in the past!"

"You can't recreate that kind of beauty," said Kentarou since he was watching and reminiscing about the times when he did sea activities with his friends from Rokkaku.

"Is it weird for you to play against your brother?" Eiji asked Atsushi.

"No, why would it be weird?" Atsushi questioned.

"Because you guys are brothers. It's like...I don't know. It just seems like something that would be weird to me."

"We live together. We grew up together. We play tennis against each other all the time. It's not weird."

Eiji didn't really know how to respond to that so he just decided to ignore it.

"'Respect Your Elders' will do the first service game," Ojii decided.

"Oh dear," sighed everyone on the Doubles team.

Saeki decided to take the serve because I'm about as unsure if he has a specialrific serve as I am unsure about Ryou's. So we'll just say that Eiji was able to return it, and it was an entertaining volley situation for a little while before points were eventually scored. And those points were awarded to Respect Your Elders.

"Yes!" cheered Saeki and Ryou as they high fived.

"It's only one service game!" hollered Switch Trick Play from the bench.

"Switch Trick Play to serve!" announced whoever was being the referee.

"I'LL serve!" Eiji announced because, now that I think about it, I am equally unsure about Atsushi and Eiji's serves as well.

Fake tennis proceeded along nicely but for the sake of sanity and eventually maybe finishing this story EVER, Saeki and Ryou emerged victorious.

"We have emerged victorious!" Saeki and Ryou announced as they emerged victorious.

"Yeah!" cheered their team.

"So, if Oishi and Yanagisawa win this time, then we move on and play against the geniuses in the finals!" said Jirou.

"Wait, where's Oishi?" questioned Yanagisawa.

Then they all noticed Oishi was over at Switch Trick Play's bench telling Eiji what a great job he did, and how proud he was, but Eiji was having one of his famous temper tantrums because he was all upset that he had to play with someone who wasn't Oishi and that Oishi was playing with someone who wasn't HIM even though it was beyond everyone's control but Eiji just likes being a bitch like that.

So everyone started clearing their throats, getting annoyed with all the PDA displayed by the Golden Pair in such a short amount of time, since they were probably making up for all the time they had been absent from one another. Some other ambiguously gay duos started getting jealous too so the coaches insisted the next match begin.

"This one is between Oishi and Yanagisawa from Respect Your Elders against Gakuto and Choutarou from Hyoutei," said Sakaki. "I mean Switch Trick Play."

All the other coaches stared at him with raised eyebrows. "That was so intentional," said Banji.

"So?" said Sakaki.

"I don't even understand why," said Ojii. "What's the point of dropping your team name in such a meaningless situation?"

"It's product placement!" Sakaki announced.

"ANYWAY," said Ryuuzaki as she took over refereeing if she wasn't already doing it. "Let's begin the match with Respect Your Elders!"

"Hey!" said Gakuto. "That's not fair!"

"Why isn't it fair?" said Ryuuzaki.

"Because they got to start the service round in the previous doubles game!" Gakuto reminded them.

"That is true," Ojii pointed out.

"I can't admit that I'm wrong!" Ryuuzaki declared. "Someone else do it!"

"Fine, we were wrong," said Sakaki. "Switch Trick Play will serve."

"But what if you're wrong NOW?" Jirou called from the sidelines. "I don't know what to believe anymore! My world is falling apart!"

"Just be quiet so we can get this over with," commanded some tennis player whose team had already been eliminated and was only waiting around so he could find out if he was going to an illustrious tennis camp.

"But it's not fair that Switch Trick Play gets to serve!" Jirou complained. "Choutarou's serve is too good!"

"That's true," said Yanagisawa. "That ISN'T fair."

"They've got a point," said Banji. "It is quite impossible to return, so therefore it is unfair."

"I don't understand what's unfair about it," said Choutarou, confused.

"Choutarou can serve the ball however he wants!" Shishido said as if his commentary was really necessary. (He probably just wanted to fill the Silver Pair quota.)

"Thanks Shishido!" said Choutarou as he got inspired.

"Realistically, we can't claim the serve just because his serve is too hard to return," Oishi said reasonably. "I think that's the whole point of tennis… to use your abilities to the best…of your abilities, I guess."

And, before Eiji could pipe in with a pointless comment, Ryuuzaki decided to intervene. "Switch Trick Play serves and I don't care what any of you has to say about it because that's just what's happening!"

She said it like it was some kind of revolutionary new idea, so everyone just saluted her and decided to pretend as though she was the first one to think up JUST DOING IT.

Choutarou decided to put all his heart and soul into serving, especially since Shishido was watching, and proceeded to kick ass with his serve which defies most laws of physics, though not all of them. In the end, of course Switch Trick Play won that particular round of fake tennis, so that meant it was Respect Your Elders' turn, making the earlier argument entirely pointless because both teams would get an even chance to serve anyway.

"I hate fake tennis," Gakuto decided to observe.

The elder team took the serve but wouldn't you know it? They just couldn't stand up to Gakuto expert flipping at entirely no-flipping-necessary moments. And, against all my better judgment (because the chapter could potentially be over right now), Switch Trick Play won this game as well so that meant it would actually have to go to the singles game!

By this time, everyone within a twenty mile radius was fairly bored with fake tennis and asked quite nicely if they could leave, but the coaches would not allow it. In fact, Jirou would also not allow it. He, of course, was all hyped up about playing tennis in front of his peers… AGAINST TETSU. It's not as though it being against Tetsu had any consequence to Jirou, but I just thought maybe I could remind you who his opponent was so the coaches wouldn't have to pointlessly announce it.

"Jirou, we have faith in you!" said Oishi supportively.

"He wouldn't even HAVE to play this game if you two hadn't lost," said Ryou.

"Hey, we tried our best and that's all that counts!" said Oishi.

"It would have been nice if we won, though," Yanagisawa admitted.

"Be quiet!" Oishi commanded.

So Tetsu and Jirou took to the courts cause they were…THE BEST. AROUND. NOTHING'S EVER GONNA KEEP THEM DOWN. Since there had been such an enormous argument about who got to be the first to serve in the previous round, they decided to flip a coin since it would now be fair based on the fact that each team had gotten a chance to serve first in other rounds. In the end, Tetsu won, which is good because I vaguely recall Tetsu having a good serve?

But Jirou wasn't about to be bitched around by one of the largest and manliest thirteen-year-olds in the history of middle school. (Maybe 'manliest' isn't a good word…I mean that in the sense that he looks like he's thirty.) Jirou pulled a return service game out of his ass and managed to send every shot right back at Tetsu, giving him an advantage going into the second round when HE got the opportunity to serve!

But wouldn't you know it? Tetsu sent all those serves right back at Jirou and ended up winning THAT round! So with each tennis player now officially trumping the other (which means they're now tied) it all came down to the most ludicrous part of fake tennis; that round where they switches off services until someone either fails or succeeds, which I suppose would be the exact same moment.

Since this story is where climax and tension go to die, Jirou ended up winning. YAY!

"It's all right, Tetsu," said the rest of the team as they gave Tetsu a hug and then all wept because they weren't going onto the finals.

"HURRAY TEAM!" cheered Respect Your Elders as they jumped into a pit of confetti and streamers and then had a party.

"This is wonderful," said Sakaki as he looked at the easel he may or may not have and connected the last dots to the finals. "We now officially have our two participants in the finals."

Team 3rd Years looked up from their fiesta and over at Team Genius, Achilles' Heel, standing there at the ready, tennis rackets in hand, totally prepared to take down any egotistical age-obsessed morons. In that moment, they sort of wished they had allowed Switch Trick Play to win.

"Let's begin right away," said Ojii. "The first round will be between Saeki and Ryou from Respect Your Elders against Oshitari and Fuji from Achilles' Heel!"

//////////////////////

**Two chapters to go! YAAAAY!! Go to my profile page and click on the poll at the top of the page to vote for which team you think should win a trip to this unnamed illustrious tennis camp. I may or may not actually pay attention to it depending on how realistic the outcome will be and if I can justify it. Like the lolcats, I is trying. 3**


	54. I Think I Love You

Chapter LIV- "I Think I Love You."

Even though Team 3rd Years knew they were badass because they were like fourteen years old, they also knew it was a pretty lofty goal to assume beating Oshitari and Fuji was going to be a walk in the park. After all, Oshitari and Fuji were not only fourteen years old, but they were also GENIUSES.

Speaking of Oshitari and Fuji, they were getting themselves psyched up for their match while developing strategy.

"So we've played against each other and we've played in cooperation with each other," Oshitari noted. "What shall we do this time?"

"Or, we could do something even more asinine," Fuji suggested.

"That notion thrills me," said Oshitari.

"Let's play with the attempt to make our opponents look good," Fuji said.

"I'm not following you," Oshitari said, looking ultimately confused.

"We make ourselves look bad," Fuji said. "As though every point we make is an act of God. Mysterious, incidental."

"You mean, instigate seemingly random bounces, catering to our opponents' playing abilities, building up their hope that perhaps they're playing exceptionally well and might be able to conquer us, but still managing to defeat them _and _crush their dreams all at the same time?" Oshitari clarified.

"I wouldn't have been able to say it better myself," Fuji said.

"I think I love you," Oshitari said.

"Why, thank you," said Fuji.

Of course, this conversation wasn't exactly covert. In fact, it appeared as though they were intentionally making their interaction as loud as possible so everyone would know their plan and so Gakuto would get extra jealous.

Saeki and Ryou were slightly put off that their opponents would be so fiendish, but they decided to try to use it to their advantage.

"We just have to make them regret being so cocky!" Ryou said to Saeki.

"We'll show them!" Saeki agreed.

"Achilles' Heel to serve!" said Ryuuzaki.

Fuji opted not to do his Disappearing Serve because that would not coincide with their plan to devastate Saeki and Ryou beyond recognition. They began the game just as they had promised; Fuji failed his first serve. Of course, by failing, he actually succeeded because it was his intention to fail. (BLOWS YOUR MIND, DOESN'T IT?)

Inui was having a data field day, practically oozing with excitement as he scrawled down every single movement any other player made. In fact, he was even observing the spectators because you can get all kinds of data from people based on what interests them. He, however, didn't think it was necessary to take note of what Yuuta was doing since any idiot would have known he was basically foaming at the mouth in response to Fuji's absolutely unnecessary behavior.

Just as they had planned, Oshitari and Fuji completely commanded the match. Even though everyone loves Saeki because he's so good natured and Ryou because he's a twin their disillusion of a potential victory really was just that: a disillusion.

It was time for Ryou and Saeki to serve and they were confused. As far as they could tell, they were both perfectly on their game and every one of their shots went exactly where they intended. Oshitari and Fuji felt proud of themselves for accomplishing their difficult task for their entire service game.

"How else can we mess with this match?" Fuji pondered.

Oshitari looked stumped at first and then shrugged. "We could lose," he tried.

Fuji actually looked surprised at first. "Interesting…" he commented.

"It might prove risky if they manage to somehow beat us in the final round," Oshitari pointed out.

Fuji and Oshitari stared at each other but then they both burst into hysterical laughter, barely able to keep themselves from rolling around in a very out-of-character manner. Everyone else shook their fists at the two geniuses (even the other geniuses who were admittedly very jealous of their collective superiority).

"We actually have to capitalize on this opportunity this time," said Saeki to Ryou.

"Okay…" Ryou said, looking a little less enthusiastic of their chance of victory.

As Fuji and Oshitari wiped the tears from their eyes after their laughing fit, they got ready to lose with all their might. And wouldn't you know it? They somehow managed to make utterly losing look somehow badass. Fuji would go up to a ball coming towards him and swing his racquet dramatically, but miss it entirely so it shot right by him. Then, Oshitari playing the baseline would have his opportunity to fail as well by hitting the ball as hard as he could so it would rocket past both Ryou and Saeki and lodge into the fence behind them. But, since it did not bounce in bounds, it was considered an 'out' and the point would go to Team 3rd Years.

Saeki and Ryou looked like they were about to start weeping because even though they won the round, they felt utterly unmasculine, which is a fairly difficult task considering the premise of this show.

"You know, I kind of really wanted someone to put the 3rd Years in their place, but is this a little too cruel?" Momo asked his fellow 2nd Years.

"Just be thankful they weren't so unkind when we played against them," said Kamio.

Oshitari looked to Fuji when it was time for the third round to start. "What can we do that will just completely mess with everyone?" he asked.

"You know, while I was standing here listening to your question, I thought of something no one would ever expect from the two of us," Fuji said. Then he lowered his voice so only Oshitari could hear as everyone leaned over in an attempt to listen to what he was saying. "We could lose. Actually lose. For real."

Oshitari had to do a double-take. "Are you serious?"

"I am completely, one hundred percent serious," Fuji said.

"This idea horrifies me," said Oshitari. "Truly you must just be attempting to force me to look like an idiot by throwing a game, allowing yourself to be the hero by saving us."

"If you really want to do something which will amaze and horrify our spectators, then this is our only option," Fuji said convincingly. Then a shadow covered half his face as he said, "Imagine their humiliation when they are forced to walk away with an empty win."

"You _are _serious," said Oshitari, looking almost as if he was going to faint.

"What do you say?" Fuji said, holding out his hand for Oshitari to shake.

Oshitari was not willing to take the chance of shaking Oshitari's hand out of fear that he might turn into stone if he did so. In order to avoid that horrible fate, he merely nodded. "I agree."

"Excellent," said Fuji as the two of them spun around to face their opponents while striking dramatic tennis poses.

Everyone gasped as they did so. This time, they couldn't hear the evil plan, but they got the feeling it was diabolical and not to be trifled with so they were partially relieved that they didn't have to hear it.

Since it was fake tennis, they would be alternating serves. And, since Achilles' Heel got the first service game, it was Respect Your Elders' turn to start. Saeki decided to take the serve and threw it up in the air, praying to whatever God he believed in, and hit it as hard as he could to the other side of the court.

Much to everyone's surprise, neither Oshitari nor Fuji paid any attention to it as it bounced in the court and then out of bounds.

"What are they planning?" Kirihara said suspiciously to his teammates.

"Whatever it is, I like it," said Sengoku.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't turned on," Marui admitted.

"TMI," said Kirihara and Sengoku.

"If Team 3rd Years is able to return this serve, then they win the match!" announced Sakaki into the megaphone he had previously magically produced.

Everyone was biting off their fingernails as Oshitari picked up the tennis balls. Saeki and Ryou were both sweaty and completely overwhelmed, their lives flashing before their eyes, expecting the worse. Oshitari threw the ball into the air and hit it to the other side in such a way that would make it easy to return.

However, Ryou and Saeki had a sensory overload and both simultaneously fainted.

The ball bounced in between the both of them and rolled out of bounds.

Everyone was speechless.

"Respect Your Elders is no longer able to compete in this match!" said Ojii. "Which means Achilles' Heel wins!"

"Finally…" said Sengoku impatiently.

"THEY ARE SO EVIL," said everyone in reference to Fuji and Oshitari as the rest of Respect Your Elders went over to Saeki and Ryou to revive them with smelling salts.

"We were totally going to let them win too," said Fuji with a raised eyebrow.

"You were?" Kirihara demanded.

"Yeah," said Oshitari.

"WHY?" said Kirihara.

"Why not?" said Fuji and Oshitari together like they planned it.

"We couldn't possibly argue with that logic," said Marui with a shrug. "Come on, Kirihara! It's our turn!"

"Whatever," Kirihara grumbled as he followed Marui out onto the court.

Meanwhile, on the Team 3rd Years bench, Jirou was massaging Yanagisawa's shoulders to get him ready for his match against the Geniuses. At first, he had been massaging Oishi's shoulders as well, but Eiji graciously offered to come over and relieve him of that duty.

"You guys will be fine!" said Jirou. "Just play your hardest and that's all that counts! I know we're the team going to the tennis camp anyway so it doesn't matter if we win or lose, as long as we show the coaches how much we want it!"

"Jirou, I had no idea you were so good at inspirational speeches," said Oishi, looking truly touched by Jirou's words.

This, of course, made Eiji jealous. (There's a lot of jealousy in this chapter, isn't there?) "Oishi, I have the most faith in you of all!" he announced. "You shouldn't give up on the chance to win the tournament just because Jirou tells you it's okay to quit trying! If it's not my team playing in the finals, then I'm glad it's yours! I know you'll lead your team to victory!"

"Eiji, your words have inspired me!" Oishi announced as he stood up and practically erupted into a smoldering volcano of torrid passion. With his newfound strength, he paraded out onto the court even if there was no confetti involved.

Yanagisawa stood up like a normal person and looked at Eiji who was waving a tissue at Oishi's turned back, then looked at Jirou who wore the expression of by far the most skeptical person on the planet.

"Good luck?" Jirou tried to his teammates.

"All right," said Yanagisawa as he went to the court.

As the match began, the spectators were getting even more bored. "Hey guys," said Hiyoshi as he walked over to the other members of the Jan Brady Syndrome who were all sitting together since they had bonded over the past week or so. Though, clearly, since Hiyoshi was walking over to them, that meant he was NOT sitting with them, which makes sense because no one cares about Hiyoshi. If he sat with them, then fine. But if he didn't sit with them, that was also fine.

"Hey Hiyoshi," said the others indifferently. Mizuki was also not sitting with them because he had gone off to harass Yuuta and didn't care about the 2nd Years, so it was just the four of them now that Hiyoshi had arrived.

Hiyoshi sat down and pulled out his laptop. "I've been so bored that I've started writing a novel," he said.

"A novel?" they all repeated as a collective.

"Yeah!" said Hiyoshi. "I think it's pretty good."

"Maybe we should read it to see how it is," said Kamio.

"I've submitted it onto a website so anyone in the world can read it!" said Hiyoshi excitedly. "But not a lot of people are going to my page… how can I get more publicity?"

"How about waiting until two in the morning, hacking onto the website of another author who barely writes anymore and no one ever goes to and then posting a link to your page, pretending to be that author, while using depressingly bad grammar and leaving an obvious trail of who you are and why you did it by simply stating it on their main page?" Momo suggested.

"That is a perfect plan which could not fail in any way!" Hiyoshi said.

They were interrupted from their pointless foolery because the coaches were announcing who had just won the match. Yes, that match went by bizarrely fast, but can't you be satisfied with the absurd length of the previous match.

"Winners!" said Banji. "Respect Your Elders! Which means we must go into the singles match to find out the winner of the entire tournament!"

**/////**

**We're coming up on the home stretch everyone! If you've read my other stories, then you know I like to do little statistics at the end of each long one to clock how many times, for example, Shishido says "Lame." If you have any suggestions for other statistics you would like to see me pointlessly tally up, then now would be the time to put it in a review and as long as it's not lame, as Shishido would say, then I'll do my best to find it.**

**Stay tuned for the epic conclusion.**


	55. I Hope It's Something Tennis Related

Chapter LV- "I Hope It's Something Tennis Related."

"Yeah!" said Oishi and Yanagisawa as they did a gangster fist bump. Everyone was getting pretty fed up with Oishi trying to be so gangster all the time, so they gave him one last warning to leave it alone.

"Third year pride!" cheered Jirou, Saeki and Ryou (the latter two had regained consciousness already of course) as they all ran up to each other and did a massive secret handshake.

"How exactly did you guys lose?" Sengoku questioned of his two teammates.

"We devised a scheme to lose on purpose as to confuse everyone!" said Marui.

"No we didn't!" Kirihara yelled angrily. "Is that what you were doing?"

"That's a horrible idea," said Oshitari.

"I was just trying to be like you guys!" Marui cried.

"It's cool when we do it, but it's only sad when you do it," said Fuji, crossing his arms.

"Well, I'M happy because now I get to play tennis," Sengoku said, standing up and taking his tennis racquet out of his bag. By this time, the racquet had spider webs all over it since he hadn't used it in so long, but he was ready to go.

"Be careful, Sengoku," said Oshitari. "Jirou is your opponent."

"Why should that worry me?" Sengoku questioned.

"Jirou's one of those people who could have easily ended up on the Genius Team," Fuji explained. "Even if I did beat him to avenge my baby brother without breaking a sweat."

"But I'm sure you'll be fine," Kirihara added to make sure they were psyching Sengoku UP instead of psyching him OUT.

"No problem," said Sengoku as he took to the courts.

"Insert inspirational speech here!" Respect Your Elders called out to Jirou as he ran to the courts at the same time as Sengoku.

"Wow!" said Jirou. "Thanks guys!"

"Hurry up and play tennis!" Atobe commanded.

"I do believe it is Team Genius's turn to serve," said Ryuuzaki, pointing at Sengoku.

"I think it's actually Team 3rd Years," said Sakaki but he probably just wanted to give the service game to Jirou since he was on Hyoutei.

"Who serves first is rather a useless thing to quarrel over," Inui declared. "Because it is fake tennis, there is no advantage gained from going first."

"That's what you think, Sadaharu," said Renji.

"Do you have a counterargument to my statement, Renji?" questioned Inui.

"I do," said Renji. "Would you like to hear it?"

"Debating with you is one of my most favorite pass times, aside from collecting data," said Inui, adjusting his glasses.

"How interesting that the two of us share a commonplace in our two favorite pass times," said Renji.

So the two of them began debating points of interest as a tennis match occurred in the background. Of course, they decided that they would attempt to outdo the other by collecting data at the same time so perhaps their debate was only taking place in an attempt to distract the other from the match.

Sengoku was fairly horrified that Jirou won his own service game.

"Don't worry, Sengoku!" Marui called. "It's not as though we're depending on you or anything!"

Sengoku was going to tell Marui to STFU, especially after losing on purpose in the previous match, but then he just decided actions would speak louder than words, so he would have to win in order to prove his awesomeness. It was his turn to serve and anything except success would simply be unacceptable and Team Genius losing in a tennis tournament would probably be classified as one of the greatest upsets in history.

In a slow motion serve which topped all slow motion serves, Sengoku hit the ball over to Jirou who was standing there without a care in the world. Jirou dove to hit the ball in time, but he fumbled the return and the ball ended up hitting the net and toppling back to his own side. Sengoku, still in slow motion, dropped to his knees and triumphantly put his fists up in the air, cheering and announcing himself the greatest hero of all time for his victory.

Of course, it was only after this foolish action did he realize that he hadn't won just yet because there were still several more points to win. The only things he had succeeded in thus far were not-losing and making himself look like a total douche bag.

"Wait, I don't get it!" said Jirou, looking outraged. "Aren't there more points to play?"

"Ignore him, Jirou!" called Yanagisawa.

"He's just trying to fool you!" agreed Ryou.

"Those Geniuses are all the same!" said Oishi, looking at Team Genius accusingly.

"They're so devious," added Saeki.

The rest of the Geniuses slapped their foreheads. Of course they knew the truth.

"I mean…" said Sengoku as he awkwardly picked up a tennis ball to serve again.

Then Sengoku served the ball and this time, Jirou won the point. Sengoku was about to have a grand slow motion reaction, but then he remembered there was even still more tennis to play so he thankfully refrained at the very last second.

Sengoku eventually won his own service game, which of course made the conclusion of the tournament come down to the last round of the last match. Honestly, were you expecting something else?

Jirou was first. Point to Jirou.

Sengoku was second. Point to Sengoku.

Whoever thought a match between Jirou and Sengoku could be so epic?

Their back-and-forth continued for such a long time that Ryuuzaki decided to wave it off. By this time, Jirou and Sengoku were both sweaty and barely able to keep themselves on their own feet.

"Stop it now!" she commanded. "This is too much! I refuse to allow these two boys to continue to duel under such pressure!"

Everyone threw tomatoes at her but she wasn't about to back down.

"I think we should have a tiebreaker," said Ryuuzaki.

They threw more tomatoes at her but, this time, Fuji was secretly happy because he loves breaking ties. He loves breaking anything.

"Sengoku, if you had just failed less at winning then we wouldn't have to do a stupid tiebreaker in order to prove to everyone that we're the best," said Marui.

"Well, maybe you guys should have won your match," Sengoku pointed out.

"I'm just going to throw this out here," said Kirihara. "If Fuji and Oshitari had succeeded in throwing their match like they originally intended, then we would have lost."

Team Genius considered Kirihara's words and then died a little bit inside.

"No playing around this time," Fuji said to his teammates as if he wasn't the one who thought up the idea of throwing his match in the first place. "We have to win."

Team 3rd Years, meanwhile, was pretty much just in shock that they hadn't been eliminated and sent to the hospital. Somehow, they foresaw the potential of still ending up in the hospital at this point.

"We just have to stay focused," said Saeki.

"We've made it this far," said Oishi. "We're still in it!"

"Just because they're Geniuses doesn't mean they're better than us," Yanagisawa agreed.

"We have to believe in ourselves!" said Jirou excitedly.

"We have the crowd's affection, after all," Ryou finished.

They looked over at all the other tennis players who were waving flags and foam fingers with the various faces of Team Respect Your Elders. Everyone wanted them to win because they wanted to take down the Geniuses too. In the end, the Geniuses knew this was a fact and would be sure to personally make their tennis teams pay for not supporting them.

"So what will this tiebreaker be?" said Ojii to Ryuuzaki who was drawing up schematics.

"I hope it's something tennis related," thought a random obsessed tennis player.

"We're going to do a compilation of five events based on previous tiebreakers," said Ryuuzaki as she turned the chart around. "Each member of each team is assigned one, and those two members will complete the tiebreaker one-on-one. The best out of five wins. Does everyone understand?"

"What are the five events?" said Inui. Even though he wasn't involved in the actual tiebreaking experience, tennis is really more of a spectator sport for him.

"The first event will be a staring contest," said Ryuuzaki. "Second: arm wrestling. Third: basketball dunking. Fourth: quick thinking. Fifth: foot race."

"Teams, go and convene," Ojii instructed.

After a moment of quietness, the teams returned with their verdicts. "First is the staring contest!" declared Ryuuzaki. "That will be between Yanagisawa from Respect Your Elders and Fuji from Achilles' Heel!"

**//////////**

**Enjoy more pointlessness as I try desperately to decide whether Team 3rd Years or Team Genius should win.**

**Again, this is probably ACTUALLY your last chance to submit ideas for the stats, if you actually remember anything which has happened in the story. And let me know you're out there! I haven't been getting a lot of feedback (comparitively speaking) and it's making me depressed. :(**


	56. DO IT AGAIN!

Chapter LVI- "DO IT AGAIN!"

"Don't do it!" exclaimed Jirou, jumping on top of Yanagisawa to prevent him from taking to the field.

"Why not?" said Yanagisawa.

"Fuji will kill you!" Ryou agreed.

"It's not safe!" Oishi said, grabbing onto one of Yanagisawa's legs to keep him from going off into certain doom.

Fuji, however, was already sitting in the designated space, waiting patiently for his opponent to meet his fate. I mean have a staring contest with him.

Eventually, Yanagisawa was able to wrestle himself away from his teammates who were desperately trying to hold him back. Various coaches placed blindfolds over Fuji and Yanagisawa's eyes to make the reveal that much more dramatic.

"On your mark…" said Ryuuzaki slowly. "Get set…GO!"

With that, they ripped their blindfolds off and it goes without saying that Fuji pretty much owned Yanagisawa. No, he didn't PRETTY MUCH own him, he owned him like 100%, like no one else has ever been owned before in their lives.

Yanagisawa was rushed to the nearest hospital and his team would have gone with him if not the fact that they didn't have to finish doing a useless tiebreaker to win a tournament which meant absolutely nothing.

"Now for the second round, which will be arm wrestling," said Sakaki as he made a tally under 'Achilles' Heel' to indicate they were the victors of the first round. "We will have Ryou from Respect Your Elders against Kirihara from Achilles' Heel."

Ryou and Kirihara took their seats at a table the coaches had set up while everyone else was distracted by something else. They put their arms on the table and clasped each other's palms enthusiastically.

"You're going down," said Kirihara to Ryou.

"Whoa," said Ryou who was way less hardcore than Kirihara.

"GO!" declared Sakaki through his favorite megaphone.

The two of them immediately started struggling against each other to arise victorious. Neither of them had a particular size or strength advantage so they were fairly evenly matched for the initial few seconds. Then, of course, Kirihara got his adrenaline rush which may or may not give him super powers along with demonic eyes as he exploded with passion and fire from deep within his intense little soul of his. Ryou, barely able to prevent the flesh on his skin from literally peeling off his bones, was thrown back into the nearest wall (which the coaches had also set up when no one was looking) and created a large Ryou-sized imprint in the wall that only Ryou would fit in if he ever wanted to, but then Atsushi would probably also fit quite nicely in as well. Though, I don't know why he would WANT to.

"Team Genius wins!" announced the coaches all at the same time.

"YAY!" cheered Team Genius as Kirihara climbed up onto the table and leapt into their arms and started crowd surfing.

Team 3rd Years pried Ryou out of the wall and decided they should talk strategy.

"We can't let the Geniuses beat us!" said Saeki determinedly. "We have to stand up to them!"

"We represent all the other teams," agreed Oishi. "I know this whole time we've been just trying to do things ourselves as a team, but we need the support of others now."

"I'm next, guys," said Jirou. "Any words of advice?"

"Try to avoid making eye contact with whoever you're up against…" Yanagisawa said. Yes, he's back from the hospital. Turns out it was a quick fix and maybe he was exaggerating with his original injuries.

"Next up is a basketball dunking contest," said Banji. "This will match up Jirou from Respect Your Elders against Oshitari from Achilles' Heel."

"Why did we pick ME for a basketball dunking contest?" Jirou said, looking horrified.

"Come on, if we lose this one then the Geniuses win the day!" said Ryou. "You can do it, Jirou!"

"Win this one, Oshitari, or I might have to do something again!" Sengoku said.

"Oh all right," said Oshitari with a shrug.

They each got their own basketball and turned around to discover that the net the coaches had gotten was one of those little four feet Fisher Price basketball hoops. Jirou breathed a sigh of relief, and Oshitari looked slightly irritated that his massive advantage over Jirou was now null and void.

"You can go first, Oshitari," Jirou offered.

Oshitari only rolled his eyes because he knew he was way too cool for basketball dunking contests, especially on such a tiny net. His attempt at victory was rather half-hearted, or maybe even fourth-hearted as he approached the net with little or no skip in his step and then placed the ball in the basket. Then, of course, he remembered it was a dunking contest, so he put his hands on the rim and shook the net around a little bit.

"DO IT AGAIN!" cheered Gakuto as he fainted.

"Thank you, thank you," said Oshitari as he waved to the crowd.

"Jirou, you can win this!" said Oishi supportively as he watched the coaches raise their eyebrows skeptically at each other. "It's not a basketball dunking contest! It's an enthusiasm contest!"

"I thought it was a basketball dunking contest!" Jirou exclaimed, utterly confused.

"Dunking…with enthusiasm!" Saeki revised for Oishi.

"Oh!" said Jirou as he turned around and readied himself for the experience which would make or break his team. It's pretty needless to say that he was slightly more enthusiastic than Oshitari was as he dribbled the ball as if he was faking people out while he slowly advanced towards the basket. If there really were people there, it's likely he wouldn't have been able to make it past him with all his unnecessary theatrics, but it was all about the show. In fact, he started getting so into it that he started narrating as if he was a commentator watching himself move down the court. His enthusiasm was so drawn out that the coaches yelled at him to hurry up and dunk the ball before they got bored.

So what followed that demand was the most dramatic and enthusiastic dunk in all existence.

"I think it goes without saying that Respect Your Elders won that round," said Ryuuzaki as she made a tally on her sheet. Jirou took it upon himself to do some crowd surfing as well, except most other teams were involved in it this time around so he had a lot more fun than Kirihara did in his crowd of four.

"That is unacceptable," complained Sengoku to Oshitari.

"I _tried_," said Oshitari.

"No you didn't," said Kirihara. "You put absolutely no effort into that whatsoever!"

"Okay, you're right," said Oshitari with a shrug.

"Next is quick thinking which will put Sengoku from Achilles' Heel against Oishi from Respect Your Elders!" said Sakaki.

"You can do it, Oishi!" said Eiji, shaking pompoms which he had combed and styled to look like Oishi's hair so they looked pretty lame.

Oishi and Sengoku sat down at the table which had appeared earlier and the coaches slid them each a piece of paper and a pencil.

"Write down the answer on this paper and give it to us," Ojii explained. "We'll check to see if the answer is right. If it is, then you win. If it's wrong, then the other person has the chance to answer. If that one is wrong, then we'll ask another question."

"I hope it's easy," said Sengoku pointlessly.

"Ready?" said Sakaki as the two raised their pencils. "Write down your teammates in reverse alphabetical order by their first names."

"What?" said Sengoku as he sat there stupefied for a few moments.

"Here you go," said Oishi immediately, handing over a piece of paper to the coaches. "I assumed you meant the teammates for this competition, as in Team 3rd Years, but just to be safe, I also wrote down Seigaku. I also color coded them based on how much I like each teammate."

"They're all the same color," said Banji.

"I like all my teammates equally!" said Oishi as he practically burst with sunshine and joy.

"Don't stop, Sengoku!" said Kirihara. "There's still the chance he could be wrong so you'll be able to get the point!"

"I don't even know all your names," Sengoku admitted.

"This is correct!" announced Ryuuzaki. "Respect Your Elders wins!"

"All right!" cheered Respect Your Elders as they all hugged.

Achilles' Heel looked at each other and, for the first time, they actually felt a little nervous. They had toyed with victory perhaps one too many times and now it was coming back to bite them on the ass. Of course, none of them would ever admit to something like that, but in the back of their minds, maybe they learned a lesson. But probably not.

"So it all comes down to this last tiebreaker," said Ojii. "Saeki from Respect Your Elders against Marui from Achilles' Heel! In a foot race!"

"Win or lose, Saeki, you're still our best friend," said Respect Your Elders as they supported their teammate.

"If you lose, Marui, we'll kill you in your sleep," said Achilles' Heel as they less than supported their teammate.

"So you'll be doing five hundred laps around the tennis court…" said Sakaki as he held up a checkered flag.

"WHAT?" yelled everyone.

"Just kidding…" said Sakaki nervously.

"One lap," Ryuuzaki corrected. "So there's no room to mess up at any point."

"Ready?" said Sakaki, raising his checkered flag. Everyone waited with bated breath as Sakaki was kind of a jerk and waited extra long before lowering it. "GO!"

Since neither Saeki nor Marui possessed super speed, they had to run like normal people, and run they did. Both of them knew that victory was riding on their shoulders; but it was SO MUCH MORE than victory. The 3rd Years had to prove to everyone that the Geniuses weren't all that and anyone could work hard and become great at tennis and prevail regardless of the Genius's natural skill. The Geniuses were just assholes and didn't want anyone to realize the truth.

(You may have noticed, but in my attempt to avoid another disappointing climax, this last competition has been going on for an exceptionally long time. There are a few too many climaxes in this chapter.)

Saeki and Marui rounded the last corner of the tennis courts, practically shoving each other over in order to get to the destination first, as most races usually are. The race was so close that Sakaki whipped out a camera and did a photo-finish so they would be able to do something as silly as make sure the nose was the closest to crossing the finish or something.

"Let's inspect these pictures," said Banji. "Coaches assemble!"

"Don't mind if I do," said Tachibana, strolling over.

The other coaches were going to tell Tachibana to drink some beers and then drive home, but they finally let him look over the pictures as well because maybe wanting him to die was a little harsh. The coaches inspecting the photo finish race began as the teams waited eagerly to find out who was the winner.

"The winner is Team Genius!" declared Ryuuzaki.

"YES!" cheered Achilles' Heel as everyone else sat, depressed.

"Wait," said Tachibana, raising his hand as he picked up the picture which happened to have the Geniuses standing in the background. "I can't help but notice something. Geniuses, you were Team 8 at the very beginning, weren't you?"

"So?" said Fuji.

"Which means you were also the black team," said Tachibana. "And Team 3rd Years is green, and it's quite obvious to us that they're all wearing their green face paint. Which means you should all be wearing black or at least have some kind of black. Are you all wearing black?"

"Of course we are," said Oshitari as he revealed that his personal theme for dressing himself that day happened to be black-on-black.

"My hair is black," said Kirihara.

"That doesn't count," said Marui.

"Fine," said Kirihara. "My shorts are black. What about you, Marui?"

"My sweatbands are black," said Marui, showing Tachibana his wrists.

"Passable," said Tachibana. "What about you two?"

Sengoku and Fuji looked at each other uneasily. "Uh…" they started, looking up and down themselves several times but eventually admitting that neither of them was wearing black.

"Well look at that," said Tachibana, putting his hands on his hips and looking thoughtful.

"I thought we weren't paying attention to that rule anymore," said Fuji.

"The rule applied throughout!" said Ryuuzaki. "I guess this means Team Genius is disqualified for the Tennis Tournament! What an odd twist of events!"

Tachibana knew that he would have Geniuses on the warpath, but he also felt he could handle them, especially with all the 3rd Years backing him up.

"So therefore, Team 3rd Years wins!" announced Ojii.

They pulled down the largest ball of confetti EVER and showered it down upon the 3rd Years who good naturedly offered the Geniuses the chance to come in and join the party but of course they declined and, instead, chose to angst about it in the corner while everyone else had fun.

"Tachibana, you actually did something right for a change," observed Shishido.

"I do what I can," said Tachibana with a sigh.

"Enough of this celebration!" said Ryuuzaki. "You all seem to have forgotten just why we have gathered here in the first place! It's not about tournaments or competitions! It's about that tennis camp! And, yes, we have figured out who we deserve to attend the camp so you better listen up."


	57. That Means We Won

Chapter LVII- "That Means We Won."

"Are you five going to continue sulking in the corner like that or are you going to come over and learn if you're going to the tennis camp?" said Banji to the Geniuses who were being all emo and in a pack.

Almost as if Banji's question had awakened them, Sengoku suddenly stepped forward and said, "I just want to throw this out there. We intentionally didn't wear black because we didn't want to win just because we were trying to mess you all up on purpose!"

"I knew it," said Inui as he started frantically writing in his data book.

"Just lose gracefully, all right?" said Jirou as he got all in their faces. "Whoever thought Jirou would go and win it all?"

"This _is _a pretty random team," Ryuuzaki observed, looking at Team 3rd Years who were still all smiley from their recent victory over everything.

"But no doubt, the most deserving of attending the tennis camp!" said Oishi.

"That's true," said Saeki. "We never placed below third place in any of the competitions _and _we won the tennis tournament. It only makes sense!"

They did a group Power Ranger high five.

"Nope," said Ryuuzaki.

"WHAT?" everyone shouted. The 3rd Years were shouting because they were certain they deserved to win, and everyone else was shouting because they were hopeful perhaps their own team would end up going to the tennis camp.

"It's nothing against you guys, Team 3rd Years, but we just thought another team exhibited the more precise little 'somethings' we were looking for in order to send to this outrageously prestigious tennis camp," said Ojii with a shrug as if it were NO BIG DEAL.

"The Geniuses then," said Marui.

"Not like we _want _to go," Fuji quickly added.

"No, it's not the Geniuses either," said Ojii.

The Geniuses only looked at the coaches and it was obvious they all wanted to burst into tears because even though they'd never say it, they all really wanted to go to the tennis camp.

"We didn't want to go anyway," Sengoku said, barely holding back his tears.

"We never said the tournament would effect our decisions," said Sakaki. "We actually just wanted to have a tournament for fun."

"Wait, so you knew who you were sending to the tennis camp before the tournament took place?" questioned Gakuto.

"Uh…yeah," said Sakaki. "That's basically it."

"Well, we know it's not the Geniuses, the 3rd Years or the Team WTF," led Bane.

"Is any member of that team even still here?" said Banij.

"We're here!" said the Freshman Trio.

"You guys aren't on that team anymore," said Ryuuzaki.

"Aw man…" said the Freshman Trio, hoping she had forgotten.

"So only five teams left then," said Shishido. "Will you just get it over with and tell us?"

"No, we think it's more fun this way," admitted Ojii. "Keep guessing!"

"Will you at least tell our team it's okay to go because we know we didn't win?" said Yuuta, gesturing towards the Hard Workers.

"And what makes you think you guys didn't win?" said Ryuuzaki.

"Did we?" asked Kaidou.

"No," said Ryuuzaki.

"Why not?" Kaidou immediately demanded.

Inui ripped out a page from his data book and handed it to Kaidou.

"Oh," said Kaidou, briefly looking over the List of Reasons Why We're Probably Not Going to the Tennis Camp.

"Then it must be the 2nd Years!" Momo uselessly concluded.

"Yes, it must be!" agreed the rest of the 2nd Year Team.

"Why?" said Sakaki, raising an eyebrow.

"Because of how team spirited we are!" Kamio said, referring to their outrageous purple paraphernalia.

"Um…no," said Sakaki.

"Wait, no to the fact that we didn't win or no to the fact that our purple paraphernalia was awesome?" Hiyoshi asked.

"No to both of them," Sakaki said, looking somewhat disgusted.

"There are only three teams remaining now…" Jackal noticed as he realized that fact just then: only Team Captains, Team Tall and Doubles had not been dismissed by the coaches. "I'm afraid to say anything because I don't want my team to be eliminated from the running."

"Which team were you on again, Jackal?" asked Banji.

"Team Captains?" Jackal tried nervously.

"Well, you guys aren't going either," said Banji.

"WAY TO GO, JACKAL!" yelled the other captains angrily.

"It's because he's not really a captain, isn't it?" demanded Atobe.

"No, it's because of your horrible attitudes," said Ryuuzaki.

"Oh," said Atobe.

"We let our guard down," said Tezuka, clenching his fist dramatically.

Eiji nearly fainted as he looked at his fellow Doubles playing teammates. "There are only two teams left!" he said. "We have a fifty-fifty chance of going to the tennis camp!"

"And we had the best attitudes out of anyone!" cheered Choutarou.

"I'm so glad you guys picked me to be on your team!" said Tetsu.

The only other team was Team Tall, and they were fairly certain they had done horribly in basically all the challenges so they didn't expect to win. Of course, they WANTED to win, but they didn't expect it.

"So what do you guys think?" Ryuuzaki asked of the tennis players. "Who won?"

Neither Team Tall nor Team Doubles wanted to announce that they believed they were the winners out of fear of looking stupid if it turned out to be the other team.

"I can't take it anymore!" Gakuto announced. "It was us! Team Doubles!"

"And you are…" Ryuuzaki said slowly as she pulled a lever which illuminated a giant neon 'WRONG' above their heads. "INCORRECT!"

"AW MAN!" said Team Doubles sadly.

"That means we won," said Sanada, sounding slightly terrified as he looked at his fellow tall teammates of Kabaji, Bane, Renji and Taka.

"Wow," said Taka. "Who would have thought?"

"To think I was disappointed at the beginning of this whole thing when we got assigned our groups!" Bane said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I knew all along," Renji announced.

"Usu," said Kabaji.

Team Tall gave each other a massive group hug as all the other teams looked at them with jealous eyes. Not because they were having a group hug, but because they got to go to the tennis camp.

"Wait, wait, wait," said Sakaki. "When did we say that Team Tall won?"

Team Tall immediately ceased their group hug. "WHAT?" they said, sounding quite short tempered.

"We're the only team left," Sanada said. "There's no other team."

"Unless…" Renji said slowly.

"That's right!" said Banji. "You all forgot about Team 9!"

"THE WAITLIST TEAM?" everyone shouted.

"What? No!" said Ojii. "We already told you that the Waitlist Team was definitely not going to the tennis camp!"

"Then who is Team 9?" demanded an angry tennis player.

"Don't tell me…" Atobe said, slapping his forehead.

"US!" all the coaches yelled together as they pulled a cord which opened a massive confetti ball and showered it down on top of them. They frolicked around in slow motion as all the confetti fluttered to the ground.

"HOLD ON," said Tezuka, his voice significantly elevated. "This is unacceptable. You never signed up on the original list."

"Is that the only thing that's bothering you?" demanded Tachibana.

"No one shows better teamwork skills than us!" said Sakaki as he put his arm around his fellow coaches. "It's really a no brainer when you get right down to it."

"I think we knew we were going to send ourselves to the camp from the very beginning," Ojii admitted.

"THEN WHY DID YOU TORTURE US LIKE THIS?!" yelled the forty-or-so tennis players who were standing idly by.

"It was fun," said Banji. Then the four coaches erupted into hysterical chuckling.

"You guys were so not a team," said Inui.

"You guys don't need to go to a tennis camp!" said Bane less gracefully.

"Don't you think you should send US considering it's a camp for middle schoolers?" tried Kamio.

"Oh, did we forget to mention…?" Ryuuzaki said slowly. "We're also taking the Jimmies."

With that, the Jimmies jumped out from behind the curtain as well.

"We won!" cheered the first Jimmie.

"Oh hurray!" said the other.

"We're so proud of ourselves!" they said as if they rehearsed.

All the other tennis players still present dropped to their knees and shook their fists angrily at the heavens while shouting, in a style reminiscent of Darth Vader, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

* * *

Total chapters: 57  
Total pages: 224  
Total times "tennis" was mentioned: 346  
Total high fives: 12  
Total low fives: 1  
Total extended high fives: 2  
Total hugs: 19  
Total bitch slaps: 7  
Total slapped foreheads: 20  
Total temper tantrums: 1  
Total Power Ranger moments: 6  
Total raised eyebrows: 31  
Total confetti balls: 11  
Total massive continuity errors: 3  
Total female characters in this story: 1  
(Total parenthetical statements:) 65  
Total completely out of character characters: 51  
Total trips to the Halloween Store: 6  
Total jazz hands: 2  
Total Thomas the Tank Engine band-aids: 1  
Total ambiguously gay Golden Pair moments: 15  
Total ambiguously gay Silver Pair moments: 13  
Total ambiguously gay Dirty Pair moments: 7  
Total ambiguously gay Data Pair moments: 11  
Total times people turned into drawings with or without flower petals: 2  
Total times someone frolicked: 3  
Total times Team Genius reminded everyone they were geniuses: 17  
Total times Team Captain reminded Jackal he wasn't a captain: 10  
Total times Team Freshman thought up a new name: 8  
Total times Team Tall's tallness was obsessed about: 10  
Total times Team 3rd Years justified douchebagery based solely on their age: 10  
Total times internet slang was used (not including Team Freshman's acronyms): 14  
Total times Tezuka said some form of "Don't let your guard down": 9  
Total times Tezuka said "Your Mom": 1  
Total times Tezuka corrected someone to say "Pillars": 3  
Total times two people were in SYNCHRO: 2  
Total times Tachibana caused Fudomine to faint/strongly react: 6  
Total times Oishi tried to be gangster and failed: 5  
Total times David made a pun: 8  
Total times Eiji was a furry: 1  
Total times someone said "NOOOOO!" like Darth Vader: 1  
Total times Fuji was creepy about Yuuta: 7  
Total times Fuji was creepy about Mizuki: 2  
Total times Renji did stuff with his eyes closed: All the time  
Total times Sanada insisted he was a good leader: 7  
Total times Kabaji did something without his team noticing: 3  
Total times Kentarou switched teams: 4  
Total times an argument between Jirou and Oishi escalated to murder: 1  
Total times Hiyoshi was useless and pointless: 14  
Total times someone said something IN THEIR MIND: 3  
Total times everyone said "OKAY!" including the person who said "Okay?": 2  
Total times people hated on Kentarou: 13  
Total times Eiji and Gakuto hated on each other: 4  
Total times Choutarou's freakish height was referenced: 6  
Total times Horio (or his family) referenced two years experience: 5  
Total times Kirihara learned a life lesson about being a Genius: 6  
Total times Shishido said "Lame": 2  
Total times a team used the internet as inspiration: 2  
Total times Hiyoshi rubbed his hands together diabolically: 1  
Total times Kabaji said "Usu": 17 (plus hiccups)  
Total times Ryoma was referred to as the Prince of Tennis: 12  
Total times Ryoma was referred to as the Prince of Magic: 1  
Total times Sengoku said some form of "Lucky!": 0  
How old I was when I started writing this story: 18  
How old I am now that it's finally finished: 21  
Total times sex occurred behind the scenes: 8 (TURN IT SIDEWAYS! YEAH! INFINITY!)

* * *

**/no author's note necessary. 3**


End file.
